Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[KatM]

DH owns an IT consulting company. He did own a race car analytic site, but it failed to yield the income he was desiring (after 2 years of hard work.) The IT company is doing much better than the race car one ever did. He basically helps businesses make more money using technology. His background is in network engineering and software engineering.

Croy,
Barbados sounds like great fun. I love that the weather there is always nice and the rum cake is yummy. Hope the flight goes very smooth and that you all have a wonderful trip.

Tuckie,
Hahaha for not knowing what to do with yourself. Those rare times. I get more than most since Grey still naps on DH.

I was going to ask you about the nipple biting. My nipples HURT so much right now. That was always the case when I was Oing, but nursing while they hurt sends adrenaline through my body every time. I am terrified G is going to bite me. It hurts so much with no bite.

Just,
Darling!

AFM,
Grey can now stand by himself for minutes at a time while holding onto the jumparoo. He likes standing to play with his toys from the other side.

His diaper rash is FINALLY gone. The secret this time seemed to be very frequent night changings along with all the diaper free time. Aaargh. Speaking of night, we are FINALLY ready to transition Grey into his crib. He has been sleeping in his swing on level 1. Yesterday, DH put him in after his dream feed. He fell asleep immediately for 3 hours. DH fed him and put him back in. He kept rolling to his stomach and screaming his head off. DH gave up, swaddled him, rocked him down and put him to sleep in the swing on level 0. DH will try again. I have no part in this because of my bout with mommy insomnia and feeling like I was getting PPA/PPD. DH does all the night stuff.

 

[filipenko32]

OMG I had a lot to catch up on!! I can't remember everything but...

Maternity pay - I'm not sure hun as I had to get maternity 'allowance' which is different - I did just enough supply teaching for 13 weeks (when I came out of my depression) to qualify and I get £520 a month for 9 months. I can do the same again for number 2.

LOL Kat so funny - I think your sub conscious is telling you something! yes just go with it! We need to set up a MARLS the sequel thread lol!! Yay for diaper rash vanishing, poor Grey

Love all the pictures so gorgeous!! Bay, Zoe, Ava, Dylan Emelia and Grey - rainbow babies are the cutest!! Emelia's eyes are a beautiful green... love her Dotty top too!!

Re miscarriages and ttc again - I have a totally different perspective now, I don't know if it will help any of you to hear it. I don't fear another miscarriage or 4 as much as I thought I would do. I see it more as a massive hindrance so long as there are no serious complications such as ectopic etc. I don't mourn my losses anymore as I think i did all my grieving then but also I see them more as 'biological / natural' mishaps iykwim? For some reason I don't think of them as babies anymore just cells gone awry in my case anyway. Even with the 'normal male loss' I had I think something was wrong with the heart or something... Is that all awful? Maybe it's just my way of coping with it... maybe it will hit me like a tonne truck again one day... maybe I won't cope with more mc's but that's how I feel right now. Anyone else?

Jodie Lexi does those times roughly she is a pain with her dummy when she wakes and realises it's fallen out - some nights we are up on the hour pushing it back in after we have waited to see if she will calm down without it! But generally she is 'OK' and can sleep thoroughly. You must have SO much fun watching them together!! Love their I love Mummy bibs They look ADORABLY cute!!

Tuckie - enjoy!! And lol to Bay's antics on your boob!! Is she getting bored she is treating it like a musical instrument bless her! Funny though in a way but I bet not for you when she bites OUCH!! I use Pampers sensitive too!

Mrs migg did Edie really look like Mark? I can't imagine since she is the image of you!!

Melfy - how are you feeling? My mum is an identical twin but I have a feeling I will never have twins! What's that theory: more pregnancies higher chance? Is that true? I have such a good feeling all will be ok for you this time aswell!

Croy - have a great trip!! Wow!! I know what you mean about being stressed prior though. We are going to Portugal for 7 days and I am only going to be taking a bikini and three dresses that's it!! And a cardigan as I want to pack ooddles for Lexi and I'm worried about leaving something essential behind. I am going to make a list and I never make lists!! too impulsive lol!
LOL to scrambled egg and blueberries - Levi has great taste!! Love your FB pics of him he is such a cutie pie!!

Hoping that's so lovely how Tim is with Penny. My hub's is a SAHD running his business from home so he has a lot of time to spend with Lexi too although I try to keep out of his way during the day but he doesn't keep out of ours!

Sarah - did you get a bfp?

My Lexi: I have been over feeding Lexi and now I am worried she won't go back to her usual 50th percentile. I don't know why I did it but I was giving her the bottle every 1-2 hours. I think it was because I was so happy she was keeping it down as we started to use anti reflux milk which was fab. However I got carried away and she took it! Now I am stretching her to 4-5 hours between feeds and she doesn't even care!! Thing is her length is 9th percentile (which is ironic seeing as her dad is 6ft 7) but her weight is nearly 70th now from under 50th. She put on 1.5kg in 7 weeks!!! Just Emelia is 17 lbs at 6 months and Lexi is 16lbs at 4.5 months so I am really keen to slow or maintain the weight now. I can't believe I did that Anyhow we are on this 4-5 hour gap between feeds and longer through the night. She is basically getting 5 feeds of 210ml like what it says on the packet. Before I was feeding her all the time Feel like a bad mum! Since the new feeding regime she has been much more active. Do you think she'll revert back or have i set the path for an obese child!! The HV said not to worry and to follow the new feeding regime and to ensure she doesn't go up another centile. Oh and I try to give her water in between but she's never interested. Her weight is really bothering me now though... Does anyone think it might be maintained on the new regime I don't want her to be on a diet lol!!

ttc: so now I am in the 2WW. I have had a monitored cycle on clomid, steroids, estrogen to thicken lining, cough medicine to thin cm, (sad but true) vits, clexane injections for the sake of it, aspirin etc etc. There were two ripening eggs as with Lexi and then the doc gave me the trigger shot to release the egg - same regimen as Lexi. I am ready to be pregnant again! Oh and I am also having the intralipid drip treatment but I started it early this time on 'doc's orders to 'Calm the womb down.'

Photos: Lexi when she went to a wedding a month ago and me and Lexi this morning where I am in my pj's with mascara under my eyes!!! Anyway she kind of knew this photo was being taken Also me on night out with my sisters in laws a couple of nights ago (I have the darker hair for anyone who doesn't know me). And Lexi having some tummy time!!

 

[KatM]

Fili,
I think that is a good attitude. To view any loss as a hinderance on your way to your next rainbow. FXed for no losses of course. I don't mourn my losses one bit. I never saw a hb and see them as what I had to go through to get to Grey. Even though he is literally 2 arms full, I would not trade him for anything. I don't, of course, want any additional losses and will cap it at 3 more. I don't want losses to take away from my parenting Grey. I think it makes a difference that we had our rainbows. The unknown of having a child was what was the most scary. Now we have our little lovies.

I am only speaking about early losses. I do still fear late losses or medical issues. That is the risk we take.

 

[filipenko32]

Totally agree Kat, my 'positive forced' thinking got me through Lexi! I am hoping to do that again... my sister helped me with that and nearly converted me to Buddhism lol!! I wish us all straight forward 'none' rainbows after our rainbows we will get there girls!! We will!!

 

[tuckie27]

Just- yay for another green eyed rainbow I bet her hair darkens as she ages if you and DH are both brunettes. My DH has dark brown hair & he looked blonde as a baby! And my hair looked light brown when I was a baby and slowly darkened more and more up to puberty. We actually expected B's to start lighter like ours did. Here's pics to show how much lighter our hair was when we were babies
DH's baby pic:
https://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac76/mermaids84/25AFACFC-AA45-49DF-A66A-3708F3D3E6DD-391-0000006A64BF115C_zps595831c5.jpg

My baby pic:
https://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac76/mermaids84/7968CBF4-1DB1-46DA-AAF3-FE3E52D6B246-391-0000006A9A80D31B_zps2eaa8a00.jpg

Our hair color as adults:
https://i887.photobucket.com/albums/ac76/mermaids84/2F8D49F4-D288-4C8F-B883-F0B6A7E5E4B8-391-0000006AA6A611ED_zps631421d7.jpg

Kat- glad DH's IT company is doing well! Too bad the race car site didn't work out, but it sounds like his background will make him successful with his other endeavors. Get ready for nipple pain from hell!!! It comes and goes but right now my right one is really sore and te left is ok maybe G won't be a biter though. Glad his rash cleared and I cant believe he's already standing! Good for him!!! Hope the transition to crib goes smoothly for you.

Fili- I understand what you mean. I feel like my losses brought me to Bay and now I couldn't imagine not having her so I do get what you mean in that sense. Although I do still mourn my losses, especially my first loss. It was harder because I went further with that one and we clearly saw a little baby on the ultrasound machine and that image still haunts me I have a strong feeling it was a boy. I'd like to have a son someday now that i have a daughter...one of each would be nice! Lexi looks so cute! She's always looking like a little princess don't worry about setting her up to be obese. You still have plenty of time to help her with healthy food choices. When she starts solids, you can expose her to lots of healthy options!

DH and I stayed up too late last night so I had to take a nap with B today. I feel much better now. She kept pinching me and hitting me in my sleep. Is my baby the most abusive rainbow here or what??? LOL!

 

[melfy77]

Kat: Glad G is now rash free I also totally missed your DH leaving his job. Mine also quit his summer job; he was doing landscaping but the guy he was working with smoked pot on the job!! While operating machinery and driving!! And the boss just didn't care, as long as the grass was cut So he's looking for another one.

Fili: I feel the same. I don't regret my losses, as they gave me Zoe. I wouldn't change a thing! I really hope this is a sticky one though. I'm sooooo tired and getting a bit queasy, just like when I was pg with Z, so I'm taking it as a good thing!!

Just: Emelia has gorgeous eyes!!!!

AFM, U/S at 10am, then we're gonna go to the movies; we want to watch Into Darkness!!

 

[filipenko32]

Beautiful pictures Tuckie, you are a good looking couple and beautiful as children. Interesting about the hair colour, hubs is blonde and so is lexi I was blonde as a child, well, dark first then blonde.

I just want lexi to get back on track ASAP especially for her length ATM. She is sleeping so much better now she's not over fed, I think she got tummy ache in the night I mean 1.5kg in 6 weeks is excessive weight gain right? That's nearly 9oz a week!!! She's only supposed to gain 4/5 oz a week isn't she? Anyway hopefully the new feeding gaps will help her get back on track or at least not increase in weight dramatically anymore.

 

[KatM]

Fili,
Grey gained 9oz on average a week for months.

Tuckie,
Look at how cute you and DH are/were? Grey is just as abusive He punches/hits/tears out hair/grabs my earrings and has already bitten me a couple of times. He has not in about 2 weeks and I pray it stays that way.

Melfy,
Please update us on the U/S/. FXed for you hon!!!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Fili. Lexi is 5 days younger than Louis but formula fed babies are always heavier. What is she now?

 

[tuckie27]

Fili- they told me when B was only gaining 5oz/week that it wasnt enough & they wanted her around 7oz/week. She was pretty young then though & I think their gains slow as they get a bit older.

Kat- Sorry G is also an abusive baby but I'm kinda glad I'm not the only one I have to keep B's nails short because she also like to repeatedly claw my chest while she BFs & she claws herself too. That pic is from 2010. I was scanning quickly through my pics for one where DH didn't have a hat on so you could see his hair color.

Melfy- keep us posted after your scan!

Thanks for saying we make a cute couple. That's nice of you guys Usually people just ask if we are brother & sister! Lmao it's happened several times so we joke about it....with my being from Kentucky & all

 

[filipenko32]

Lol tuckie!

Thanks girls. Mrs migg she is around 16lbs already. What's Louis? I am hoping she doesn't put on too much more by next weigh in say in 2 weeks, do you think it's possible to put the weight breaks on a bit? She is def having less milk and is def not fussed about it!

Melfy I think tiredness is a fab sign

 

[KatM]

Tuckie,
I cute G's nails 3 times a week!!! No joke. I would be clawed to death. I joke that he will be arrested for mommy abuse. He has made me bleed several times. Even on my nose. I can't believe DH and I are thinking of having another. It was a tough day, even with both of us on full-time duty. This was also the first day DH was very frustrated at having to wear him for all his naps. DH has no current projects to work on, so sitting in front of the computer bouncing was very frustrating for him. We also miss having time together. That was 4 hours we could have spent together. When DH is working anyways, it is no biggie. On days like this, it sucks. We are doubling our efforts to get him to sleep off of us and in his crib. I don't want to just do it all cold turkey and leave him CIO and traumatized.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi ladies...

Melfy, good luck for the scan and keep us posted.

Tuckie, you's are a lovely couple, how funny people asking if your brother and sister haha. You were both very fair haired as children, I think that does often happen and you get darker as you get older.

Fili, I wouldn't stress too much abought Lexi's weight. As the others have said 7oz is the average weight gain but then that does defo. slow down. Emelia was putting on about 14oz in the first few weeks and that definitely slowed down.
Its not ideal to feed every 1-2 hours, that's what my health visitor told me, she said 3-4 is ideal so if Lexi was happy to take a feed every 1-2 hours then she was probably hungry for it and would maybe take more ounces at a time but every 3 hours.
Emelia used to be a milk guzzler and scoff 5-6 oz at a time up until about 3 months, since then she barely finishes 4oz a feed. I fill her bottles with 4oz but she nearly always stops at 3oz, except when we are out and about and I use the ready made cartons which are obviously creamier and contain 7oz which she finishes every time.

My health visitor was telling me just last week that ideally they like children to follow the same percentile until they are 18. Emelia dropped from the 75th to the 50th for weight but has stayed within that for months now.

I think she is in the 50th for weight and length but she has a bigger head I think although they haven't measured it since birth.

Beautiful pics by the way of Lexi and your night out, good for you having a social life, your looking really good!

I wouldn't say that I dwell on my miscarriages now that I have Emelia as I do know that if things hadn't happened the way they did then we wouldn't have Emelia but Im still terrified of any more. Hopefully no one has to go through anymore. My second pregnancy was a little baby with a heartbeat until 9 weeks and was awful when it stopped. This time two years ago was my lowest point ever so now if I ever have a hard or stressful day with Emelia I remind myself of that and how grateful I am for her.

Oh and on the aggressive baby subject I have one too haha, Emelia has started slapping at herself and me, her hands fly everywhere. I've realised that its better to file her nails instead of cutting them. I have a really good glass nail file which works a treat and gets them really smooth. I was always scared of cutting her and think I was making her nails sharper by cutting edges into them. Their nails really do grow so fast.

 

[filipenko32]

Thanks just that's good to know. I fill Lexi's bottles with 7oz as per what it says on the aptimi carton for her age but she most often leaves 2oz on this new feeding regime and before when feeding her too regularly she would seriously snack! she has finished it once or twice before though! Are you feeding emelia solids too now?

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Louis was weighed 3 weeks ago and he was 14lb 14 and I know he has gained a fair bit since then, I reckon he is around 15 and a half or possibly 16. I know boys are heavier than girls but I wouldn't think that is anything to worry about Fili. Louis is only on the 15th centile what is Lexi on?
I have started Louis on baby rice this weekend, he seems to enjoy it. I'm taking it slowly though I won't introduce purées for a week or two. I was going to wait a bit longer but my freezer got unplugged and defrosted a load of breast milk and I couldn't bear to pour it away!!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

https://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r232/daphnetiger/null-12.jpg
Oh and Fili this was Edie at 4 months, still looking a lot like her dad I think.

 

[filipenko32]

Wow mrs migg she is the image of Louis there and Mark! Ha! Aww i could just scoop her up and cuddle her but ill go get lexi instead in a minute! Thanks for the weight advice too. She is around 70th percentile weight, 9th length. It used to be 40th weight 6 weeks ago. anyhow Ive cut back her feeds to normal so I'll have to wait and see but I really want her back to say 60th at least in a month. Do you think that's possible?

 

[Justkeeptryin]

MrsM, I had to look twice at that picture I thought you had Louis dressed in a girls outfit haha, jeez the two of them do look very alike as babies, two lovely kids you have.

Fili, It worried me when I first looked at the side of the aptamil formula and it said that I should be feeding 5 feeds at 7oz, a grand total of 35oz. Emelia takes about 20-24 a day and theres no way I could make it upto 35.
Im happy with what she is taking along with solids. I started baby rise at 20 weeks and then gradually introduced fruit purees to them such as the Ella's kitchen pouches. Then a little bit of natural yoghurt.

At 23 weeks I started savoury things like butternut squash, carrots, with ginger and coriander etc. Then bought baby orzo pasta from Boots and put that into these things to bulk it up.
I was so set on making everything homemade and I still do a lot but I've came top realise that you cant beat the organic pouches for price and ingredients with no crap in them. So Im happy to give them along with homemade.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Thanks Just and Fili. Fili I realised I put the 15th centile but its the 50th! I honestly wouldn't worry about Lexis weight. Just because she is on a higher centile doesn't mean she is overweight but I would ask the health visitor. When are you planning to wean?

 

[filipenko32]

Yes you do have two beautiful children mrs migg does Edie treat Louis like a doll!?! Erm weaning: well first of all I want a whole week with no plans to see anyone so I can spend lots of time with lexi and be responsive to her mood for the solids iykwim, I don't want to wean yet until I get her new milk pattern firmly established and her tummy is settled. Hv said lexi is fine but I don't want her going up another centile. I think when she stabilises at an acceptable (to me lol) percentile like 60 on two weigh ins I'll plan a week out to wean her. So probably when she is about 5.5 months? Do you see anything wrong with that plan?

Just so Lexi is taking 5oz out of the 7 per feed so without solids she is eating roughly 25oz in 24 hours which sounds reasonable to me! Oh yes the organic pouches etc look wonderful to me but are they expensive? I will be trying mrs migg's liver recipe too at some point!! that is another thing I'll then worry about the quantity of solids to give her along with milk to avoid over feeding! Arggh!