Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[Justkeeptryin]

Fili, I actually don't find them expensive as you can buy like 5 for £4 or something like that and they do me two servings as I will add pasta or bits of pureed veg to it or ham which I have being doing and then just some of the pouch to it. Or the fruit pouches I will add a bit to natural yoghurt or baby rice or porridge etc. with the price of fruit these days I fine the fruit ones a bargain.

 

[filipenko32]

Oh brilliant well I will do just that then! I'm looking forward to weaning her!

 

[tuckie27]

MrsM- Edie did look just like Louis! They are both dolls I loved the pics on FB of Edie holding her baby brother. So sweet!

Just- I've used the organic purée pouches too. I always check ingredients and wait for sales and then I pick up a bunch.

Kat- will G take any naps in his swing to give DH a break from wearing him for naps?

Fili- don't worry about Lexi's weight hun. She's a healthy, perfect little princess we started solids around 5.5 months as well.

Girls, this morning was horrible B kept waking up last night & DH had to go back out of town this morning. She was teething and I gave her an extra feed and some teething medicine and then this morning she wanted to play and I was SO exhausted. I took her out to her jumperoo & I thought I'll just lay here for a minute. Next thing I know she's screaming and I'd fallen asleep! I went out there and she had a poopy diaper and was crying. I felt HORRIBLE! I asked my MIL if she'd been crying long and she said yes. I had our door open and I thought why didn't anyone come get me?!? But it was my own fault. I had a cry and felt like a bad mom. I changed her and fed her and gave her cuddles and told her how sorry I was and she seemed just fine after her change and feed but I felt so shitty about falling asleep

 

[filipenko32]

Aww Tuckie you're not a bad mum at all!!!! I have done that twice before now, it's AWFUL and such a shock when you're waking up from a deep sleep. I was in a similar situation this morning but Lexi fell asleep on me and she was wriggling nearly off my lap before I woke up fully! Bet everyone on here has done that at some point. Also don't forget you're probably still sleep deprived and that makes you feel emotionally worse

 

[croydongirl]

Tuckie - I totally understand how you feel I had a similar incident happen with Levi when he was younger - but know that Bay knows she is loved and safe and she wont have any long term anything from that one time I know it probably doesn;t make you feel better i know it didn't me when people tried to tell me it was ok, but I wanted to say it anyway!!

Also, I was talking to a friend of mine who is a therapist and she was talking about atachment disorders and such as I was asking her about CIO and other things and she was saying that so many of the studies related to attachment issues are done in countries or with children who suffer severe neglect. She said it is hard to find information and studies done with kids in regular homes whose parents have used CIO or attachment parenting to look at them as adolescents or young adults. I just thought that was interesting. It makes me feel more peace about the times we have let Levi figure it out on his own.

He is such a happy kid and I believe he feels secure in our home and in our care for him that he is not going to have any long term issues from being left to cry a few times or over a short period of time as he learns to settle himself. We are heading into a crazy season of vacation and time differences so we won't be doing anything new until we get home, ut we would really like him to be sleeping through before a year - and before we get pregnant again.

As he is getting more teeth nursing is actually getting painful for me. I will play it by ear, but i think when his top teeth come in we might wean him from the breast totally. I am so sad in some ways because I would have loved to have him decide he was done but I also think that it will give me some freedom and I know getting pregnant can often stop your milk supply so I would like him to be done before the supply just drys up.

Suddenly I started rambling...I am havign some alone time. We are staying at a hotel on the water in a city north of Seattle, where we spent our wedding night. So we love th hotel - this time we have a suite though so baby can be in the other room in his pack and play and we can have some space to hang out after his bedtime. We went out to b.fast and then hubs went on a run and levi is napping so i am "doing homework" and saying hello!!

Ok really do need to do some school work now -

 

[bumpyplease]

Hi ladies
Love all the recent pictures! Fili I wouldn't worry about lexis feeding - you have realised you were feeding her too much and have changed it without any objection from her - I would say in a month or so her weight will stabilise. If its any consolation Alfie is now 8 1/2 months and 16lb 4oz!!! He's on the 9th centile but eats well and they aren't bothered as he's following his curve nicely!
Good luck on the TWW
Croy have a great holiday! I went to Barbados about 10 years ago and loved it!!

Just - we use a mixture of home made and pouches too. Especially when we are out over mealtimes. I love the fruit pots too and get them from asda 4 for £1.

Kat he's so clever - he'll be walking soon!! Congrats on house and DH job.

Melfy - good luck with scan!

Davies - did u test?

Mrsm - wow they are similar and both gorgeous!!

Tuckie - u poor thing that could have and probably has happened to all of us. U are a fab mum!!

I feel your pain. Alfie is teething badly and really suffering. Still no teeth though!! We have had sleepless restless nights for about a week now and I'm ready for my amazing sleeper to come back lol!!! He's getting good with standing and wants to walk with our help all the time now!!
https://i1192.photobucket.com/albums/aa336/ledran/null.jpg

 

[filipenko32]

He is such a cutie pie!! I can really see you in him too

No bumps that's no consolation at all lol! That just makes me panic! Lexi is half Alfie's age and his weight, and Lexi is a girl! She is very below average for length too which makes me feel even worse for plumping her up. Well I have no choice now but to watch and wait and see what happens with the normal amount of milk regime. At least I have nipped it in the bud now and not 6 months later! I'm hoping she'll plateau

 

[tuckie27]

Fili- thanks for your post hun. You're right about me being more emotional due to sleep deprivation this last week or two. When I was crying it did feel like that hazy, sleep deprived/emotional kind of cry.

Croy- thanks to you too for your kind words. Makes me feel a little better knowing im not the only one who has done this. How romantic that you're staying at the hotel where you had your wedding night B is already hurting me with no teeth so I can imagine the pain when they have real chompers too! Ouch. I hope your poor boobies can survive it until the weaning.

Bumpy- thanks to you too hun. Alfie is such a handsome little man! He looks like such a big boy in that photo! Sorry you're dealing with teething hell too Just when you get used to the long stretches of sleep...along comes the teething

I feel better after reading all your posts. Thanks for sharing that I'm not the only one to have done this. I really appreciate the support & encouragement I get here from you ladies

 

[daviess3]

Hi Ladies wow idont no how you all find the time!! Lol I still have no af! Havent tested since last tuesday but i felt my af coming but it never arrives!! dtd to see if that helped, no chance, who knows im worried though, the tests are completely white not a hint of a line im worried its something serious (drama queen lol)

Gorgoues bubbas bump how old does alfie look!!! So cute bless him! x

Fili my lexi is a chunky monkey to shes always been 75th centile for weight an recently 91st! I have her hv check up tom so will let you no then, shes off the scale for her height though, an prob doesnt help her milk is whey powder (what body builders have!)

Croy barbados so jealous where you staying? x

Tuckie def all had that tired mo chick, dont beat yourself up its defo normal x

Hoping hows surrogacy journey going? An ur gorgous girl? I brought those hair clips thanks for the tip. x

Melfy good luck for scan hun x

Kat lexis nails are growing at the rate of knots do you think its the sun that does it? x

Just good tip file hadnt thought of that, i also get slapped pinched or she has recently started biting my dh nose lol!! Probably coz its big hahaha x

Sorry i dont post a lot ladies i miss you all just hard juggling work baby hubby dog friends etc etc you no how it is xx

 

[KatM]

Tuckie,
Oh love. You are being way too harsh on yourself. You were obviously exhausted and NEEDED to sleep. No one would think you neglect Bay and neither does she. It's okay that she cried for a bit. She will be fine of course.

G is sleeping in the swing right now and we did NOT rock him down. We need to get him off DH. I don't want DH feeling resentful and enough is enough.
DH bounced him till relaxed after he was up for a long stretch. Then DH moved him in the swing that he has been sleeping in for 3+ bloody months. He is fussing, but not too badly. I don't want to let him cry, but DH has had enough. He doesn't want to wear Grey for 4 hours a day on the exercise ball when he does not have to work. =( I feel a bit stressed about all of the change, but it must occur. Grey did sleep much better in his crib last night and even fell asleep on his tummy after several rounds of back patting. It still hurts that G is crying in the swing, but I have to weigh in DH's needs and his poor back too.

It must be hard right now with you worrying about DH getting sleep, you getting shitty sleep and Bay sleeping so poorly. I do not look forward to teething.

Croy,
There was a study done on CIO in America. It showed no significant difference between CIO kids and not. Have fun on your trip hon. There is a huge difference between loving parents that in desperation use CIO and neglect. No need for guilt for those loving parents.

Bumpy,
What a handsome man.

MrsMigg,
What a cutie Edie was and still is =).

Just,
Hope we have reasonably priced organic pouches here. I think I will make my own for a while, but eventually I might not.

Davies,
I can't imagine it is easy balancing work and motherhood right now.

AFM,
Grey's weight gain has finally slowed down and pretty much plateaued. I think it is from all the sitting up, standing up and bouncing. I am fine with this. His arm and leg rolls are shrinking. My mighty guy is thinning out. I fed him some of my organic egg yolk this morning. He liked it.

 

[filipenko32]

Hi Sarah good to see you. Are you breast feeding at all anymore? Did you bf for a while? Could be prolactin levels are still coming down def nothing serious... doesn't sound like a bfp though given the time? I feel really reassured that your lexi is the same! Good that's she's tall too I wouldn't mind so much for my Lexi if her height was much longer too. How are you finding work? I am surprised you get to post on here at all!! Is hubs supportive while you are working too? xxx

 

[Neversaynever]

Tuckie.... no harm was done and B won't even remember chick. We have all done and will do stuff that will make us feel like bad parents but we won't be the first of the last

Sarah...crazy with your AF situation...wonder if the EWCM you had the other week was ovulation and now you are waiting on AF?

Fili...the guidelines from the Breastfeeding network state that if baby is only drinking X amount of oz's....only make that amount or you are encouraging them to eat more than necessary

Kat...I read somewhere that babies will sleep at night the way we get them to sleep for naps. I know it is hard and I am in no way saying do the CIO option but even small steps to encourage G to be happy on his own...even if you lay next to him may help oh and I am sure you know that egg yolk needs to be fully cooked until they are one year old

Melfly...how was your scan?

Just...hoping...hopeful....Amanda....

Mrs Mig...love those pics and Edie looks like Louis

How's Sara doing? Anyone hear from her?

bumps and croy and anyone else I have no doubt missed

All fine here...Louis' crawling, cutting his 8th tooth and trying to pull himself up. Will stand holding on to things too


XxX

 

[tuckie27]

Davies- idk how you juggle working and a baby and everything else you working ladies do! Being a sahm is hard enough without throwing in work on top of it! Don't worry too much about a late AF. Vacations always screwed my cycles up and then stressing about it just made it even more delayed!

Kat- thanks hun. Glad G is sleeping in his swing without being rocked I'm also glad you guys are getting G off your DH before he grows resentful. That seems like too much for him. I bet G leans out even more when he starts walking!

NSN- :wave: thanks for the reassurance from you too. I'm sure this wont be the last time I feel like a bad parent 8 teeth?!? Wow! Are you still BFing? Does/did he bite?

 

[melfy77]

Hello

Fili: Very very cute pics of Lexi i really wouldn't worry too much about weight gain. Zoe is now mostly formula fed, but she barely put on a pound in the last month. But from from 8 to 12 weeks, she went from 8 1/2 lbs to 11.8

Davies: Our bodies like to play tricks on us.

Tuckie: You're not a bad mom We all need sleep!! Getting more sleep makes us better moms

Kat: Great news for G!!! It's gonna be a lot easier for you guys. You deserve a little break!!

AFM...Update on my scan: First, it's NOT twins!! I have to say I'm quite relieved, as the pregnancy would have been challenging and risky for me and the babies. We saw the sac, yolk sac and fetal pole, but no heartbeat yet, which is not surprising considering I'm 5+2. I have another U/S next week

Zoe still wakes up 3 times/night to feed, so between the milk she's getting during the day (around 30oz) ans the milk she gets at night (10-15oz), she gets at least 40-45 oz/day!! It's been 2 weeks and still no change so I'm gonna call her ped to see if it's normal. I've tried feeding her more often, less often but more in a bottle, changing her bedtime (worst idea EVER lol) NOTHING works, and I'm exhausted. I'd be sooo happy with 1 feeding/night (or even 2), but 3-4, that's a lot!!

 

[croydongirl]

Melfy - so exciting! Glad that you are not disappointed about twins. When do you go for another scan?

Kat - Just to clarify (because after I read back what I wrote, the studies were about attachment disorder not CIO- they didn't mention CIO at all. I was just feeling anxious about long term CIO consequences and fearing attachment disorders. But as you said there was no emotional damage shown in children whose parents chose CIO for any reason. And I totally agree, no guilt necessary for those who choose that method. I think we are starting to make choices for hte healht of our family, not just the preferences of our baby - sounds like you and hubby are coming to a similar point. I think you guys are amazing to have been able to rock him this long. He is a lucky boy

We had a fab time away - very romantic. Good to have some play time together. It was fun to dream a bit about the future. I think anticipating another pregnancy/baby has made us relish the time we have with just Levi even more.

 

[croydongirl]

Davis - we are staying somewhere down near the airport...I have no idea of the geography of the island but our villa has a pool and is only a few blocks from the beach. I cannot wait. It is pouring down rain here in Seattle today and makes me really want some sunshine!
Have you been having regular periods? I had two in Jan and Feb and then nothing until this month. My doc had me have an ultra sound to check everything was ok ( i get the results this week) but she wasn't worried. Also, my cycle was a week longer so I think I ovulated later - perhaps you just ovulated later this month?

Kat/Davis - Levi also needs to have his nails clipped a few times a week, or he scratches himself and me. It's crazy how fast they grow

 

[KatM]

Ladies,
I am in tears. I had a big FAIL today. I don't judge CIO people, but it is NOT the way I want to go. But I don't think anyone WANTS to go that way. I know the studies say it causes no permanent damage, but I feel damaged from today's experiment. The first time G just fussed for 30 min and slept for 30min. Not great, but livable. This time (2nd time) he CRIED for over 20 minutes until I started SCREAMING at DH and got him. He was in his swing for almost an hour with no nap. The first 30 min he played with his feet. And yes, I know he was tired when DH put him in the swing. His eyes were closing and he was exhibiting all his tired signs. He then fell asleep immediately on my boob.

DH said he would just wear him again after I was distraught and the baby was distraught. This is not fair to DH, so I am going to try to nurse him down on the extra baby mattress I just bought and try and roll away once he is asleep. He is not one for detaching though, so it might not work.

I honestly understand why people do CIO. I have no issues with letting him fuss for 5-10 min, but I guess I cannot handle full on crying for 20min. I rather rock him down again in the swing again and let him sleep on my boob. I know this has to end sometime, but I guess I keep hoping that it will stop on it's own. Obviously all your babies nap off of you all, so I do not know what to do. DH wanted to do this for a week, but I am not willing or ready to. I don't know what is best. I am open for feedback. It sounds like all of you think I do need to just get him off of DH and off my boob and us rocking him down once and for all. Is this correct? This might be what needs to be done and I need to leave the house right now. I feel lost. G is back to his happy self after a quick 15 min nap on me. Thanks for listening.

BTW-Grey weighs over 20lbs and still wanted to feed twice last night AFTER dream feed.

Melfy,
Congrats hon. Great news!!!

 

[melfy77]

Kat: you are NOT fail!!! Just because CIO doesn't affect babies doesn't mean it's for everyone. I cannot let Zoe cry. She is often fussy when we put her to bed at night, especially if she's tired. She does it at nap time sometimes but it's not nearly as bad. I sit in the rocking chair, I give her a bottle, and when she pushes away the bottle I put the soother in and I ''shhhhhhh''. She gets drowsy and I put her to bed. So in a way I also ''nurse'' her to sleep, and honestly, I love it!! As long as the soother doesn't fall it's ok, but if it does i have to put it back. And if she's extra tired it's harder. As soon as she starts fussing I go in, or I wait a couple of minutes, but if she sounds like she's gonna start crying I go in. IMO it only makes things worse when I wait too long. Maybe G's cues are subtle and by the time he shows obvious signs it's too late? I spent hours reading routine examples and bedtime tips, but in the end I think it up to our little ones to decide.

Croy: Glad you're having a good time Can we see pics I have a U/S next monday.

 

[tuckie27]

Kat- I agree. If B needs 5-10 mins to fuss to sleep, I let her. If she's all out wailing, I go and get her. At that point I assume something is bothering her and not letting her fall asleep (teeth, tummy, etc). One thing I know helps with B is to eliminate distraction. She cannot sleep if she sees us, things are too bright, too much to look at, etc. she handles background noise well though. B sleeps on my boob at night but I don't let her take naps on me. She naps in her swing or if we're doing laundry, she sleeps in her carseat in the laundry room. She usually goes down for naps no problem or only fusses a few mins. If it gets too long or she's screaming, I get her up and try to see what's bothering her. I try not to let her get overtired so if she's showing signs like heavy eyes, rubbing eyes or ears or staring off into space, I get ready to put her down. I think when they get overtired it just gets harder to get them down to sleep. You didn't fail! This baby stuff is all trial and error. I'll tell you what you told me about falling asleep this morning: you're being harsh on yourself and G doesn't feel neglected by you!

Melfy- yay for a good first scan!

Croy- yes, pics!

 

[Neversaynever]

Just a quickie as it 4:30

Tuckie...yes he has bitten me several times and it fucking hurt I reduced me to tears twice the other week and I was on the verge of stopping BFing. Now I just focus on him feeding and look for cues when he's done with feeding and encourage him off the boon and praise him for being a good boy

Kat.... nobody likes seeing their baby cry hun do you have a rough routine with him? Not sure if I've said this in here before but the EASY routine is loose enough to work with. Basically Eat/Activity/Sleep/You time. Even now, Louis can't stay awake longer than 3.5 hours without being crabby and I watch carefully for tired signs. The only time Louis feeds to sleep is the before bed feed which I don't mind. I know it's hard hun, try not to be anxious as you don't want to hurt your mental health again
Take small steps and see them as victories oh another thing...I recall you say he sleeps well on his front but you are uncomfortable with this am I right? Well Louis has slept on his tummy since 10 weeks as that's the only way he would sleep

and don't be so harsh on yourself

Melfly..you must've implanted early to see the fetal pole already

Croy....enjoy that sunshine...when do you go?

Xxx