Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[sara1]

NSN- A proper holiday sounds wonderful and the timing seems spot on with your energy picking up! Where are you headed?

Zebra- Gorgeous photos!

Croy- So sorry to hear Levi's been unsettled and not letting you guys get any sleep. I'm sure your scan will be brilliant and your little girl is doing just perfectly. I love fall too- actually it's one of the things I truly miss about living in the states- all the colourful foliage and carving pumkins and prepping for halloween. Did you mention you're already cooking up a holloween costume for Levi, or am I thinking of someone else? I'll have to wait till carnivale to get Eva into something fanciful

Davies- Major kudos to dh for giving you a spa day! I know we want to hit them over the head with a frying pan at times, but when they get it right they really do make it all worthwhile.

Just- Congrats on your scan!!!

Fili- Eva went through the raspberry eating phase... I felt like I needed to wear a hazmat suit every time I fed her. It passes

Pad- You poor thing- It's hard enough with Dh away without being sick too! I hope you're taking care of yourself. Do you have any help?
Yep, I drank the kool-aid that's been going around here as well. I'm only 6+4 and wont have a scan for another week so fingers crossed.

Afm- God I'm knackered!! I swear I was nowhere near this tired with Eva... certainly not this early on. In a way it's reassuring since I don't have a scan for another week. I don't feel the need to symptom spot, I feel 100% pregnant 100% of the time.
For the most part Eva's been doing brilliantly, usually such a happy baby but she's got a severe mommy addiction and good lord is she stubborn! Lately she does this thing where she starts to scream hysterically if I stand up and do something on the otherside of the room and am no longer within arms reach... I'm not even out of eyesight, just a meter or two away and she goes bezerk. So yesterday I'd had enough. I had had to put her in her playyard so I could run to the bathroom with morning sickness and when I came back I took her out, gave her a cuddle and then put her on the foam play mats we have in the livingroom where all her toys are. I then proceeded to go sit on the couch approximately 1 meter away. She was so incensed that I hadn't sat down on the floor with her that she pulled up on the coffee table and just started to scream at me. It would have been comical if she hadn't been so upset. I was literally within arms reach so I reached out my hand and told her to come to mommy (something she normally does a million times a day) but she refused to move... she wanted to be picked up and wasn't budging. The ensuing battle of wills was not pretty. I worry she's become horribly spoiled having been toted around in her sling so much but I'm really at a loss as to how to fix things. Any ideas?

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Congrats Madrid! And Just, so happy your scan went well.
Tuckie, I'm not pregnant either, nor will I ever be again.
Pad, hope you get well soon.
Fili, you are right to think about school, honest to god Edie was tiny like our babies so recently, like NO time, and now I am looking round schools for her for next September. I can't bear it.
Hi everyone. Sorry I don't pop in very often I feel a bit left out with all the pregnancies!

 

[heart tree]

Mrs M, if I'm honest with myself and everyone here, I also feel a bit left out. I'm not upset with anyone, in fact I'm thrilled that so many of you are pregnant again. I just always envisioned myself with 2. It's just not going to happen. I've basically come to terms with it, but sometimes it does get me a little envious when so many are announcing their pregnancies. Please no one tell me it could still happen. My uterus barely held Delilah in long enough. I'm almost 39. I have 1 tube and adenomyosis for which there is no treatment. I'd have to be on bedrest for the next pregnancy which isn't possible. And financially we can't support another child. Unless somehow we had a crazy accident, it's not going to happen. And I don't foresee an accident happening. I had a positive OPK last weekend which means AF is coming (the first one!) It was strange avoiding sex with such a strong positive OPK. Made me a bit broody. But I know a second isn't in our future.

Glad to have gotten that off my chest. Hope I didn't offend anyone. I still am part of this group, but I think part of the reason (aside from studying) that I haven't been here much is because I've had to process my grief around having an only child.

If I was on the RMC thread reading this I would be thinking "at least you have 1!" And that's sooooo true. I'm blessed without question. But there is still a part of the dream that I've had to let go of. It's been hard.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Heart, I don't think bad of you at all being so honest about that. I can understand what you mean.

Before I fell pregnant this second time around I also felt a bit envious when I came on here, its a funny thing.
Now that I am pregnant though, I wouldn't like to think that anyone feels left out of it and not the same to come on here anymore. Its always been a great part of the forum.
It wouldn't be right for anyone not pregnant to feel that they have no reason to come on here as they are in the minority and cant relate to being pregnant right now.

The biggest point of this thread for me was always to enjoy discussing our babies that we have and getting advice etc. and seeing all of the cute pictures.

For me anyway, some of you ladies that aren't pregnant again were always the best people at posting and inputting to this forum...Heart, Hopeful, MrsM, Kat and Tuckie!You ladies have always been a big part of this forum, I'd like to think that will still be the case, when people find the time of course.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Just, Heart, both your posts have put tears in my eyes. Heart, I obviously didn't have the certainty that you do that baby 2 isn't an option when I was ttc Louis, but when I had my second loss that became something that I had to consider getting my head around. I never saw my future with just one child but at least I had hope, and obviously I was very lucky, and I believe I have you, Lee and Sara to thank for that for the progesterone, and all of you ladies on here for the PMA and the support through early pregnancy.
I'm not devastated I'm not having another, but it does make me a bit sad that I will never have another bump, feel kicks, and give birth again but my god how lucky am I. I have a son and a daughter who are beautiful healthy and loving. In terms of children I'm a multi millionaire.
I posted very quickly last night because I was exhausted (yes it is tiring with two under 4 Fili, never mind 2 ) and I didn't put it as eloquently as Heart did, but what I should have said it that I am completely thrilled for all you ladies here who are expecting baby no 2, or 3 in some cases. You all get to be millionaires too, and that makes my heart sing. I cannot think of a more deserving bunch of ladies and that's why I keep popping in because I want to follow your progress. You were all a big part of my life while I was pregnant with Louis, and I think that's why I feel a bit sad. I feel like you are all still on the bus, heading for another new and exotic place, but the bus passed my home and that's where I got off, waving you off, with tears in my eyes and happiness for you. Lol!!
Just I am incredibly flattered by what you said. I am going to keep popping back on this bus for the odd day trip. I can't wait to see you all complete/add to your families too.
Heart, much love.

 

[wookie130]

Heart, and MrsM, I COMPLETELY get it. We'll be trying again in December, and the wait is getting harder and harder. I worry and stress that there may never be a #2...and then the guilt creeps in. I am SO totally fortunate that I have Hannah. There was a time I never thought she'd come to be, either. I think one of the reasons it's becoming so hard to wait for #2, is this thread! Heart, I understand your sadness...and I'll be sure to avoid making any comments about "how you never know" and whatnot. And MrsM, I get how the idea of never experiencing a pregnancy again can be sad.

I'll totally and openly admit to feeling jealous as well...my ovulation is supposedly 2 days away, and I'm tempted to just , to see what happens THIS month! Ugh!!!!!

 

[sara1]

Heart, Mismig, - I can imagine there is a tough mourning process that you've both had to go through, and with that in mind I'm not surprised that all the bfp's on here may feel painful or even a little bittersweet. I really hate to think that it has caused you pain, or made you more reticent to be a part of this forum. I feel like you both have been so much a part of this journey for me- from when I first joined the RMC thread and all though PARL. Heart, to be honest, I've always sort of considered you our fearless leader- ever since parl- and I know I'm not alone in saying that you have been a major source of inspiration and support. I want to second what Just said about this forum being primarily a place to talk about our wonderful babies and get support and advice for this part of the journey. Please stick around

 

[tuckie27]

Croy- have fun decorating for fall it is my favorite season. Good for you doing school while preg AND taking care of Levi. You're super woman!

Pad- sorry to hear you and Leo were ill hope you're feeling better

Hopeful- the afternoon nap is difficult with B too. She sometimes tries to drop that nap altogether

Madrid- I can't remember if I already said congrats or not, but congrats!

Just- congrats on a great scan hon love seeing the new tickers here. I'm happy for you girls and I'll try to post as often as I can and check in on you ladies.

Sara- B used to be really bad with separation anxiety. Lately she has become very independent. I would just make her wait when she cried for me. Often times with her, she would be playing & perfectly content until she saw me so I knew she was alright. She would fuss and then a few mins later she'd be playing fine again. I just never rushed over when she fussed for me because I wanted her to get used to it lol I'm a mean mommy I would eventually come and play with her or snuggle her but only when I finished doing whatever chore I was in the middle of. It's bittersweet though because now she's not a cuddler and squirms away from me constantly to go explore on her own!

Heart/MrsM- I'm sure it's difficult to feel like you'll never be pregnant again. I am glad you ladies were honest. This group has always been an open and honest place for all of us and its good we can say how we feel and know everyone will be understanding. I guess I don't really relate to that because I'm not really in a position to even consider #2 right now. We need to get in a better position financially and also I don't have the burning desire to be preg like I did before B. But I think we will always see pregnancy differently than other women because of our losses & I remember the days of having fierce envy when I saw all those glorious bumps out in public. I'm sure some of that remains in us & contributes to the feelings of being "left out". Weren't we always feeling left out with our mcs? I know I was...Watching my friends and family members post pregnancy announcements & bfps on FB & having babies while I stood back and watched with envy, always feeling like the odd (wo)man out. It makes total sense to me why some of you are feeling that way now given out past experiences & many of you have the age factor on top of it all. I feel fortunate that time is on my side if & when I decide I want a second. I haven't ruled out adoption either. I don't know about you Heart, but I have pictured myself taking in kids when I'm older and B has grown up some. I would love to be a foster mom for older kids. So there's always that option as well. I agree with Sara that you are a "fearless leader". You're the matriarch of our threads & we've all relied on your wisdom, experience, & your wonderful way with words, to support and guide us

 

[filipenko32]

mrs migg, wooks, tuckie and sara you put it so eloquently. Totally agree with heart being an inspiration and I would never have survived year before last without you ladies re pregnancy I'm sure I would only have one if it wasn't for the miscarriages or at least have a massive gap! Frankly i was desperate to get pregnant again 1 week after having lexi and i do want lots of children - as a direct result of the miscarriages more than anything I think. Heart I don't care if you shout at me - being one to speak my mind too -
:- but you never know what life is going to throw at you! Don't be so sure! you have one beautiful girly you could easily have another in my opinion (or boy) but I understand finances / time to care for baby problem. However where there is a will there is a way! (I'm preparing myself for a verbal beating!) xxxxx

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Thank you all so much. Tuckie, I think you hit the nail on the head. After so long being envious of bumps and pregnancy announcements it's a hard habit to break. Even though I am A - happy with my lot, and B - over the frigging moon for everyone here who is pregnant again - it's a bit weird coming to terms with the fact that I am not ttc, and I never will be again. Chapter closed. I am a mum of 2, a very blessed mum of 2. I wonder if I will ever get to a point where hearing a pregnancy announcement - however welcome the news - doesn't give me a pang. I hope so.
And I second what everyone said about Heart. It's coming to the second anniversary of my second loss, the time I joined the forum. In that time you have given us all some terrific support and advice. I hope we can continue to be here for you Amanda.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

And it's high time I spammed the thread with another picture of my little man. Almost 9 months old, turbo crawling, standing up and holding on with just one hand, trying to cruise but not managing just yet, trying to play with everything he shouldn't, can't take my eyes off him for a minute. Finally STTN most of the time, still prefers to nap on my boob, loves his food and obsessed with the cat.
https://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r232/daphnetiger/null_zpscadb3bee.jpg

 

[heart tree]

I'm in tears girls. Thank you for the lovely words. I'll post later when I have a little more time. I've been fighting the flu and am alone with the girl today so am exhausted. Thank you all again

 

[bizzy27]

Heart..i know we havent talked in a long time....my fault...i just havent had time. But dont feel bad. I recwntly found myself wanting another baby..but u remember ..Cole almost killed me.. ;( its hard ... But i leep looking at him and reminding myself how all i prayed for was if God would just give me one. Its difficult... But dont feel bad....just know that its a normal feeling. Love and miss u.

 

[cazi77]

Hi all its been a while sine I posted in here but I do try to follow! I am so pleased to see so many of you pregnant again and it gives me lots of hope. I would like another at some point but for many reasons it wont be for a while. I am very very broody but know the right thing to do is wait.

My little monkey is doing great and is 1 next week! she is walking confidently now - she literally got up and walked at 11 months after showing n signs of been anywhere near ready! I am back to work 3 weeks on Monday but only doing 22.5 hours a week.

Hi to everyone xx
(here is a recent pic of Freya)

 

[Justkeeptryin]

MrsM, Louis is just too cute, I cant believe how much of a little man he is. He is a definite boy.

Cazi, Freya is a doll, a proper little girl. Its good to know that she just took to her feet at 11 months.
I bet you cant believe that your back at work in 3 weeks, but that sounds ideal part time hours!

 

[wookie130]

Cazi, how did Ms. Freya get so BIG so FAST? She's beautiful!

And MrsMig- Look at the gorgeous hair on your little man! He has mischief written all over that face! What a sweetheart!

 

[melfy77]

Good morning ladies Went to visit a couple of friends who had a little boy 4 weeks ago. So tiny, it's crazy to think that 7 months ago Zoe was that small

Heart: I can imagine the feeling My mom had a really hard time conceiving (took 6 years for me and got pregnant 5 years later, at 37, but miscarried), and I remembered it was hard for her to accept that she will have only one kid. She was so grateful to have me, but I guess it's always a tough decision to make...and accept. You are a wonderful lady and a great mom, and you're still part of this thread!!! And sorry about the flu. I know it's not always easy, but try to get as much rest as you can

Naps are always interesting. Zoe will usually have one morning nap around 10 am and one afternoon nap, but not always on the same time...

Fili: Lexi could totally have a growth spurt. Babies grow at different rate. I'm 5'3 and DH is 6'1, so it'll be interesting to see how tall she'll be.

Cazi: Hi Glad to know everything's well!! Freya is such a doll. Walking at 11 months, wow!!! You must be one busy mom!!!

MrsMigg: As always, Louis is just adorable!!!

Tuckie: She is getting so big!! And soooo adorable!!! So far Zoe isn't too bad when it comes to anxiety seperation, but she not 8 months yet so that could change. If we're not in the same room she'll just crawl to join me (she's gotten really good at army-crawling )

Sara: I remembered being always exhausted with this one too early in pregnancy...well try 13-14 weeks It's gotten better, but I still get tired quite easily.

 

[croydongirl]

Heart & Mrs M - I just wanted to echo the feelings of the other ladies and apologise if I have not been sensitive in my postings also. I thought after having Levi feelings of desire or jealousy to some degree about other people getting pregnant would fade but they were still very strong even when we fell pregnant this time. I have been so encouraged and blessed by this thread and by you both individually too and I want this space to continue to feel lie a safe space for all of us to journey parenthood.


Speaking of, Levi has been teething for a week and now it's turned into a cold I think. That or his teething runny nose is just really bad today. He has been up in the night so much! I m exhausted. Last night hubs was away on business too so I was glad he did a little better but I had no reservations about bringing him into bed at 2am when he woke up. Tonight if his symptoms don't seem any worse I think I would try to settle him back first but I was getting worried he would never sleep through again - its been the longest week and such a shock to the system after him sleep through for so long! We are out of practice for the middle of the night disruptions!
My friend just got me an amber teething necklace for him and also a mothers necklace that I wear and he can chew. I never realised that babies are not supposed to chew the amber ones but its just about the amber being against the skin. I need to try it on him today if he will tolerate it.
Have any of you used with of those type of things?

Levi's teething/cold could not have come at a worse time with school starting this week. My math brain has not returned in the way I was hoping it would! It's going to take quite some studying to pass this class I fear - not to mention the next 2!! Yikes!

 

[tuckie27]

MrsM- Louis is too cute! I love his hair! Both of your children have lovely hair. I hope the pangs leave you someday

Heart- feel better mama. Post whenever you can, no worries

Cazi- Wow, Freya is so big now! She's very cute! Yay for walking

Melfy- :wave: I can't believe you're already almost to vday! Congrats

Croy- I think Madrid used the amber necklace. I'm interested in the mothers necklace. Never heard of it but whenever B sits in my lap she likes to play with my buttons, zippers, hoodie strings lol so I wonder if she'd use that. Sorry about Ls teething and the sleeping issues I saw you post about on FB this too will pass! Hang in there mama. Math was my nemesis all throughout my schooling!

:wave: Sara, Wooks, Fili, Hopeful, Davies, Just, Pad, Lee, Madrid, NSN, Zebra & everyone else I missed :wave:

I think we've had some late 9 month sleep regression. The last week or so B has been waking more often and not sleeping quite as long overnight. I'm not sure if its sleep regression or the fact that we rearranged the room after the hardwood was installed and now she has a better view of us from her crib. She stood all on her own yesterday and I snapped a pic! I updated my parenting journal & included the pic of her standing up all by herself like a big girl she's become quite the little beggar at dinner time last night we had Mexican and she couldn't get enough of the chicken, rice, & avocado. She kept grunting angrily for more! My inlaws are in Vegas until Friday so we have the whole place to ourselves which has been heavenly!

Question for moms with walking babies: how long after the standing and cruising along furniture did your LOs walk? I'm in no hurry for her to walk (because then they run away from you with scissors in their hand while laughing, for example) lol! Just wondering

 

[filipenko32]

Gorgeous baby pics! We have the cutest babes on here

Croy what are you studying for? Sorry I'm sure you've told me before! I meant to add too that Lexi's nose always runs when a tooth comes through. So far she hasn't suffered so much with 4 teeth through but it's not nice for them for you

I'm so proud of lexi she has such a lovely personality! Loads of people coochy cooed her today and she just smiles and coos back I love her so much I could eat her!