Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[Starry Night]

Thanks. Part of the problem is my cervix never dropped for either pregnancy. With DD I had been pushing for 1 1/2 hours and my cervix only went down one position (from the first position) and she was no closer to actually coming out. The worst of the recovery was I really had been neglected by the hospital. My local hospital has been shaking their heads at how quickly I was discharged and how they never once told me about my hemmoraging and anemia nor did they ever check me over after my delivery. I had to CONVINCE them about my bladder infection. They kept trying to say my burning and inability to go were "normal".

Madrid - I'm sorry to hear your little one has been poorly. My DS had bad jaundice and narrowly avoided being sent back to hospital. It's no fun. I really hope it clears soon!

 

[petitpas]

Hello starry! Sorry to hear about your traumatic deliveries but a big welcome into this special group

 

[hopeful23456]

welcome starry! that's alot of traumatic stuff to go through, glad things are ok

hope you are all doing better Madrid!

alot of us are going to have 2 year olds soon! June 19th here, seems like not that long ago I posted that my water broke and they were here can't believe it's been 2 years since we had these kids

and I should say happy belated bday to J - Pip - can you believe he's 2?

 

[petitpas]

I know: two! I still remember him kicking the light from inside my belly
When I ask him how old he is J only gives the correct answer half the time so I suppose we both find it hard to believe.

 

[melfy77]

Hi

Haven't been here in ages!!! So much to do, not enough time and no internet connection!!

To all new MARL: Welcome

And the all 2nd or 3rd, 4th and so on MARL: also welcome

Lee: so sorry about your loss I was hoping for a little sibling for Morgan. Hope you're doing ok

Both girls are doing great. Zoe is 16 months and Alexa turned 5 months last Sunday, can't believe how time just flies!!! Alexa is still EBF, and I'm in no rush to introduce solids, because she seems ok on breastmilk alone, and because I'm lazy

 

[vietmamsie]

Starry - Welcome! Sorry your birth was so scary. I am starting to wonder if giving birth is just scary for everyone! Mine was no walk in the park either!

Madrid - I hope you and your little ones are doing better!

Zebra - I remember you! You gave birth right when I got on the PARL thread. How are you?

Wow - so many of you are celebrating 2nd birthdays! How much fun! I know I am just at the beginning, but I am already amazed at how fast the time flies!

AFM, Lucy is 10 weeks! I am so relived that I am in the position to not have to go back to work, as I know most american women have to go back after 12 weeks. I couldn't imagine leaving Lucy! DH has been talking about me being a SAHM for longer than we originally thought... like maybe stretching it for more than 2 years. I am happy to do it! I love spending my days with my girl!

This girl is active! She is a master of tummy time, can roll over, can sit up (supported) and is always looking around. She just started 'talking' and is in the 99th percentile as far as size (its in her genes, DH is 6'6"!). I think she went through her 3 month sleep regression at 2 months - we had about 2 hellish weeks of no naps and a major grump on our hands. Nothing we had been doing was working to settle her any more! I changed up everything - added white noise, started using the sling at nap times, get a better routine in the works, and suddenly (knock on wood) everything seems to be peachy again! I have even had longer stretches of night sleep out of her (6-7 hours!) a few nights this past week which have been much appreciated!

I feel like this week was a real turing point for me.... I finally stopped the google searches and worrying and just embraced this whole motherhood thing. I don't want to subscribe to any certain parenting methods and just want to go with my gut - so far it hasn't lead me astray! We seem to be doing just fine! Lucy is thriving. Feeling confident! (my, what a good nights sleep can do to a new mom!)

 

[Starry Night]

Thanks for the welcome, everyone.

viet - the confidence only grows as you continue on your journey of motherhood. I don't like to subscribe to any particular parenting method either. I like to pick and choose certain aspects and go with my gut on the rest. Our babies don't read the manuals so I figure DH and myself are the only ones who can come up with a method that works for our family.

Figuring out sleep is still a struggle for us but Hannah is still new so I guess I can't really complain. I had to let her CIO last night though. DH and I were both done. And she did CIO before I was asleep myself and has been sleeping for 3 1/2 hours now. She hates her bassinet so it's a struggle every night to get her to settle. Our son was good at self-settling from a very young age. I just had to do what I called "rocking to sleepy" and he would take it from there. Hannah has to be comatose before you can put her down. Even then she seems to know the exact moment you're drifting off to let her rip...

 

[vietmamsie]

I had a few moments with the bedtime crying... had to just set her down and leave the room for a few minutes. It can just be too much! Luckily things have been only getting better and i have never had to do the whole CIO method. However, if I already had another child, there would be no way i would have this sort of time for such an elaborate night time routine!

 

[Starry Night]

I find CIO only truly works if baby is able to quiet down in the 10 minute range, give or take five minutes or so. Our son never could CIO. I remember once letting him scream for about 45 minutes one afternoon and it just got louder and louder. He was miserable the rest of the day so that was one lesson learned.

I have now let Hannah CIO twice in her short life and both times she was asleep quite quickly. But I could hear her sucking on her hands between cries making a soft whimpering sound like she was trying to calm herself down. And I knew she was already tired. The full-on screams get immediate attention. Besides, her bassinet is right beside me so I'm there should she get truly upset. She does seem to have a touch of colic at times as well.

 

[Zebra2023]

Welcome new ladies :wave: it is so lovely to see you here.

Viet - I think that is right yeah, I am doing good thank you. How are you? Cute photo of your little girl, hope things are well

Hope everyone else is doing good too

I had a scan today again after my consultant appointment as I have had bleeding and it is ok, thank God. Phew, always scary.

 

[vietmamsie]

Zebra - Bleeding so no good! Did you get a scan? How are along are you? It's funny, just two months ago I was sure I would never have another baby, but have since totally decided that we must have two! Ha! But I think my biggest fear now (even worse then having another c-section) is having more miscarriages and going through the pain and heartbreak of ttc again. :/

We are doing well. Each day just gets better! I swear, she surprises me every day with something new!

Starry - We also respond to every cry immediately. The only time I give her a minute is right when she wakes up from a nap. Sometimes she will give a little cry, but then just fall back asleep ( I think it is gas pain) so I don't want to respond too quickly and actually just wake her up!

 

[wookie130]

Yeah, I think our little tinkers need their cries responded to immediately...I didn't do any CIO with my Hannah (now 15 months) until she was going on 5 or 6 months. I focused those early days/weeks/months on meeting her needs, and helping her learn that Mommy was listening and responding to her only form of communication, and after that, when she was demonstrating that she was using crying as a form of manipulation (per se), then I'd start letting her cry more.

I am also a mom that doesn't subscribe to one parenting style or method. I've found a bit of this and that works, depending on the child, me, the current situation, etc. It drives me nuts when I see "propaganda" pushing mothers to do one thing or another, or to remain a purist to some particular parenting philosophy. Geez, every mother and family is different, and there is no one-size fits all thing that works the best for everyone...and you know what? Kids end up bonded to their parents anyway...I'm not sure how these experts can quantify love and measure those things to begin with. We all do our best. And that's all we can do!

 

[Zebra2023]

I did yeah, the sonographer who did a proper scan said around 6 weeks my consultant who used a portable scanner said 7 weeks 2 days. Non the wiser really. When I had a private scan they said 6 weeks. So I must be somewhere in between.

I know how you mean, it hurts so bad, it is hard to stay positive but we must be, I guess it is better than stressing. Easy said than done. If you do come to try again I wish you all the luck and I hope it goes ok. Do you have a journal for your little one, I'd love to follow?

 

[Starry Night]

It was another 1 1/2 hour battle getting Hannah to sleep last night. I tried CIO a bit but it did not work. So we had to go the pick up, put down routine until she starting to whimper and suck her hand between cries. Then she was asleep in about 10 minutes. At least I was smarter and started the routine earlier so she was sleeping by the time I was ready to conk out. Even got a few minutes to talk with DH first. Miss adult only time.

Zebra - glad all is well with your scan. Bleeding in pregnancy is scary. I hope it stops soon.

viet - My son is a rainbow as well. I had him after one loss and yeah, TTC#2 was scary. I did end up going to have two more losses even though everyone was telling me how 'impossible' it was for me to have another m/c because now my body "knew what it was doing". Now that I have my DD I know it's been worth all the pain and heart ache. But beforehand my DH and I had agreed we would fight for a second. I think after multiple losses you need to ask yourself what you're willing to go through. Though it could always go beautifully and you'll never have another loss again.

 

[LeeC]

Hey all. I have been taking a break from forums and social media for a while following on from my two losses earlier in the year and a load of other crap. I imagine I have lots to catch up on. Looking forward to reading back xx.

 

[wookie130]

Lee, it's been majorly dead in here. I don't know why...but you're the first person who has posted in forever!

 

[daviess3]

Hey ladies I haven't been here in forever either!!! Its been ages!!! Busy busy with 2 under 2! Although lexis 2 on the 6th August.... Lottie's a good baby I'm very lucky, lexis a monkey very mischievous!? But lovely caring nature nevertheless!! Feel very blessed! Think of you all often x

 

[vietmamsie]

Not too much going on here - we seem to be in the middle of the four month sleep regression. Lucy has been up a lot at night the past week which has been hard on all of us as we bed share.

Luckily naps have still been good, so she isn't too cranky! And I still manage to keep my sanity!

Other than that all is well!

 

[Starry Night]

We're starting to adjust to a new routine over here. I still can't decide if DD is a fussy baby or not. She can be so smiley but she does cry A LOT. She's so calm and serene out in public so everyone comments on what a happy, calm baby we have so I guess she likes it when she's surrounded by busyness. We were visiting friends the other night and she was content to sit in her chair all night. She only fussed when she was hungry. DH and I were both shocked. But she is just barely 2 months old so I know a full routine hasn't been established yet. Our DS was a fussy baby the first 3 months and then became the happiest, smiley-est baby you'll ever meet. I have hope DD will be similar. Though she does like to be held more than he did and she naps better.

Still seeing the doctor about my PPD and getting calls from the public health nurse but feeling a lot more like myself so the nurse only calls to check up on me rather than house visits and am now seeing the doctor monthly rather than every other week. Got more bloodwork today to see if I'm still anemic.

 

[wookie130]

Hey, I am resurrecting this thread from it's long slumber!

I became a second-time rainbow Momma on August 15th, at 10:56 a.m., when my little son (6 lbs. 9 oz., 19 inches long), Oscar Dennis was born via c-section! So, as of today, he's 11 days old, he's doing wonderfully, I'm recovering awesomely this time, and his big sister Hannah, who will be 18 months in about 3 weeks, is coping fairly well with all of the changes!

Here are some pictures of Oscar, taken at 5 days old:

https://www.facebook.com/SweetLittl...539374113731/530213167079681/?type=1&theater#

As you can see from this picture, Ozzy is IDENTICAL (nearly) to his big sister as a newborn...Hannah is the baby on top, and Oscar's on the bottom:

https://www.facebook.com/SweetLittl...539374113731/530202487080749/?type=1&theater#