Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[jenny25]

Thanks hun I'm doing ok hun I've missed being around xx

 

[Embo78]

No probs. I don't know much about PTSD but I suffered with pnd after Oliver. I was in a bad way until I opened up and took antidepressants. It took me around 8 months to be completely fine although over the years I have gone through periods of depression and had to take anti d's periodically. Especially after my third loss.

Pm me if you ever need a shoulder x

 

[heart tree]

Jen I've also wondered how you've been doing. It doesn't sound like you've been doing well at all sweetie. I'm worried. It's ok to be a downer as you put it. We're here through thick and thin, don't forget. If you don't want to talk about your stuff on this thread, there is always our Disco thread. You know we all care about you and want to know what's going on.

Sara, Delilah would only sleep on me for months. I HIGHLY recommend getting a swing if you haven't already. Not sure if they sell the Fisher Price Snugabunny swing, but that thing literally saved my life. I could put her down in it without her crying. She took naps and eventually slept in it at night. I can't say enough about a swing.

Pip, thanks for the description of teething. I'm not sure Delilah is teething right now then. I googled images of teething and it looks horrifically painful! I'm impressed with how much variety J eats!

Feeling better about Delilah's weight. She is gaining again. She had a bit of a stall which is why I was worried. She's 13 lbs 5 oz. I was mostly concerned because the stall happened when I didn't give her any bottles. I still struggle with knowing if my boobs feed her enough. But the meds she takes also suppress appetite, so it could be that.

Today I returned the hospital pump I had been renting. It was oddly sad. I've had it since she was in the hospital. It's more powerful than a pump you buy from the store. I'm a little nervous to switch to the Medela pump that Tim's cousin let me borrow. I used it when I first started pumping and didn't like it compared to the hospital grade one. Oh well!

Today was an amazingly beautiful day. Delilah and I dropped Tim off at work and then drove over the Golden Gate Bridge. The sky was clear, the water was blue and the hills surrounding were all green from the rain we've had. Alcatraz was sitting in the bay, looking amazing as ever. The bridge's burnt orange color against the landscape was beautiful. It was Delilah's first time over that bridge. I realized how lucky I am to be here. We went clothes shopping and it went amazingly well. I nursed her in the car before we went in. Then I had her in the stroller while I looked at clothes. She loved looking at herself in the mirror as I tried on clothes. Then she got fussy in the stroller, but I also had my ring sling. I carried her in that for the rest of the shopping experience. I felt like a normal person being able to go out and do normal things with her. It was fun!

 

[heart tree]

Hi Tuckie, I see you lurking!

 

[jenny25]

Thanks girls I have suffered depression on and off for many years including anxiety I know I have alot of built up anger because of how ill I was and I had no support in regards too bf and because i was on a strong dose of antibiotics I was forced into stop bf which I hated so much and I blame the hospital for everything that's happened after I should be enjoying life but in reality I'm drowning I will be speaking about this at my check on Thursday I feel like I'm at a stage where I don't belong anywhere it's weird dont get me wrong i love Kieran with all my heart I fought so hard too find the information I needed and pushed for things in my own I haven't even met my health visitor my relationship with Paul is struggling big time and with aarron too I know I need to go back on antidepressants cause my moods are so unpredictable I think some counciling will help too as I told Paul a few weeks ago I wasn't happy and that if I still felt the same after Christmas we were over he has helped too a certain extent but he is such a messy man I feel like a mother too him not his wife

 

[Embo78]

Jen. You belong right here sweetie.

Have you seen the thread for women who had to stop breastfeeding? People actually sometimes need to grieve to make peace with it. I think it's in the formula feeding section. I know you'd get lots of support from that perspective.

Can you ask your gp to set you up with some counselling?

You have got through your depression before so you know you can do it again.

You've took a big step just coming here and talking bout it. You should be proud of yourself.

 

[jenny25]

Thanks em hun I think I was in denial for a long period if time I didn't want too face the issues thinking it would go away but it got worse until I admitted there was a problem I will go have a look at that section and see what it says later on today at the moment I have a very grizzly teething boy xxx

 

[hoping:)]

Hopeful- I wouldn’t say I am used to giving myself shots but I’ve had to do it before when I was on Lovenox. Some of the IVF doctors prefer shots while some go with just pills. I am hoping for just using pills but think I will manage ok with shots. The egg donors seem like they have to go through a more evasive regime of meds.

The twins look absolutely adorable in their outfits! They also look like happy little babies. Yay for their 1st successful night in their own room. Tim spent the 1st night on Penny’s floor as well.

Davies- I hope you had a great date night this weekend. Was it your 1st since the baby? We also use the muslin cloths to play peek-a-boo with Penny. At first it was my way of teaching her to pull things away from her face so I knew she would be ok. I had to laugh at you finally dtd and being a “grown up.”

Amanda- Penny goes to sleep by 8 so between 8 and 9:30 I work on crafts or just have me time. 9:30-11 is me and Tim time if he is working. I’m not sure I’ve noticed anything on BCP besides nonexistent cramps during AF. I am on the lowest dose possible since I am not a fan of hormonal BC. I was pretty horrible at taking them in beginning so Tim was a bit worries but I’ve gotten better at remembering.

I’m glad Tim is getting back to normal. I hope the horrible night was just a stint. Every so often we will get that with Penny but I don’t mind having her sleep on me. I love the pictures of Delilah! I thought it was lovely what you wrote on FB… I was on the verge of tears. I wouldn’t worry too much about her weight… she may just be petite.

Your shopping trip sounds wonderful. I love entering the “little buddy” stage.

Kat- I had to be induced because 12 hours after my membranes ruptured I still was not in active labor. I was not a fan but the result was a happy baby. My advice is to make sure you take care of getting your cervix dilated before starting pitocin. I was 1 cm when they started pitocin and it was like hitting a brick wall. Good luck!

Tuckie- so cute your DH and LO watch the morning news to together. She will be a daddy’s girl for sure! Penny had the yellow eye goop for a few weeks in the beginning as well. I read that their tear ducts don’t open until after birth so that could cause the yellow goo. I think we used eye drops her Ped recommended but breast milk is supposed to work wonders. I read your birth story… You sure went through the ringer and I can’t imaging how scary that must have all been but I am glad you have a beautiful, healthy baby to show for it! I know what you mean about feeling like your daughter has strengthened your marriage. It just melts my heart to see how wonderful and in love Tim is with our daughter. You see them in a whole new light.

Just- Wow! I can’t believe how fast your labor was after you were induced!

Petitpas- It sounds like you have a good routine going. I also love the happy welcome Penny gives me when I get home as well. Its fun to see them so excited! We give paracetamol when Penny is having a rough teething day. Penny also eats what ever we eat although she sometimes protests and only wants yogurt, cheese or fruit. Meals are so much easier when they start feeding themselves. I love that Penny looks so proud of her self. She also loves to share and will feed us as well

Croy- I hope things are back to normal with your hubby back. Avocado was one of the 1st foods we tried. It is the perfect food to start with and so easy to prepare. Penny still loves it to this day.

Embo- Wow! Filling out college apps for your oldest must be very emotional. I can’t imagine doing that for my little girl someday… I will be a wreck. Good luck with the teething!

Fili- You are getting so close to meeting your little guy! It sounds like you know what you want during labor but are also planning to be flexible which is great!

Jen- its good to see you. I’m sorry you were going through such a rough time. I hope you can get some help at your appointment. We are here if you need us

AFM- I have a cold and I’m just feeling exhausted. Sunday Penny was such a good girl for me while I was ill. She spent the day napping when I did and trying to make me laugh. Its so funny because in the early days I remember trying to get her to crack a smile and working so hard to get a baby giggle and now she does it for me… she is the best!

 

[Embo78]

Thanks hun, it was extremely emotional and I cannot believe my baby is leaving school in just a few short months. It makes me hug max and realise just how quickly they grow up!!

Sorry to gear you're not very well. So glad your little girl is there to make you smile

 

[croydongirl]

Hoping - Hope you feel better soon, glad penny is being a good girl for you, but its hard to really rest when you are on mummy duty

Jenny - Boy, you have been through the ringer! I am not surprised that you would be needing to process all you have been through, I am sure counseling would work, sometimes we need an unbiased ear to help us dig through all we are feeling to find some of the roots so they can be dealt with. I am so sorry about what happened at the hospital, have they made any apologies? I think it is very possible you could be struggling with PTSD, what a traumatic event Glad that physically you are healing but the emotional scars can take much longer. I am glad you came back on here and I think its really brave and smart of you to be talking with your doctor when you see them.

Amanda- Yay for girls day shopping with D! How fun. I have tried a few times to be out and about with Levi and he does ok, but he gets over stimulated easily and finds it hard to sleep when we are out so I cant be out for long without a meltdown if its nap time. I am also still not driving, I havent started lessons again since he was born so I need to do that. I think I would feel more capable if I knew I could just throw him in the car to get to and from the house. Although he HATES the car seat which makes going anywhere pretty stressful at the moment. Boo.

afm- not sure what is wrong with the little guy today, but he hard a hard time sleeping last night and now he is grumpy and cant settle for a nap. I think he really needs to poop so he is uncomfortable but I feel helpless to make it better! Plus right as he starts to settle he gets the freaking hiccups it makes me actually angry because it happens every time@!!!! Arrrgh. ther we go again, 2 minutes into quiet and restigna nd they start. Got to go and try to help him

 

[croydongirl]

...ok nursed him and he's out with huccups gone. To clarify, i get angry at the hiccups not Levi. Nursing is the only thing that gets rid of them but it means getting him unsettled.

Todays project. Write, address, and post Christmas cards. We'll see how it goes!!

 

[jenny25]

Thanks hun your right about the emotional scars I think on Thursday I will need too speak to the doctor alone both boys have chest infections so aarrons off school so Paul will stay home with him while Kieran and I get our check gosh it does feel weird to be back but good I've missed everyone xxx

 

[tuckie27]

Girls, the last couple days have been rough! I know I'm new to this and I'm trying to keep a PMA but I'm exhausted! I posted this here on b&b in the breastfeeding section but I thought I'd ask you marls too!

...the last 48 hours have been hell She has been crying and shrieking all day & night. Every moment she is not on my boob is so frustrating. The ONLY thing that soothes her is to be on my breast. Sometimes she'll nod off on the boob but as soon as I try to lay her down she starts screaming. I thought maybe it was a growth spurt because I read that can happen around 2 weeks. My boobs did start leaking for the first time today and when she napped for a whole 2 hours on her own today I noticed my nipples were stinging a bit & felt better after I fed her...so maybe I'm making more milk now? OH and I don't know what to do. I've been using an app on my iPhone to track her feedings and we calculated that she's spent 18 of the last 24 hours BFing!! This is exhausting!!! I could use some advice/wisdom from anyone that has experience. Thanks in advance!

Btw- Her eye and diaper rash are clearing up and she's not feverish or anything like that. I don't think it's related to any type of illness...

 

[Embo78]

Went through the same with max tuckie and just as I was about to give up from sheer exhaustion he just got better all of a sudden.

It lasted about 4-5 days for us.

Have you tried to introduce a dummy for emergencies. Max very rarely has one but sometimes he'll take one.

It does get better I PROMISE!!!

 

[tuckie27]

Thanks for the response. I'm glad Max's issues like this only lasted several days...I hope hers is over soon! Did Max's correlate with a growth spurt/increase in milk supply? She uses her pacifier everyday. The lactation consultants said it was fine to give her one since her latch was so good and because she had a suck blister on her hand from in utero (obviously suckling is a big comfort to her!) Normally, she'll take the paci when she fusses and she loves it but the last couple days she's so pissed she doesn't want the paci, it's boob or bust for her!

 

[Embo78]

Try to remember to see the first three months as kind of a fourth trimester. You're all she knows (from the inside!) Breastdeeding is a huge source of comfort for them when they're so tiny.
Believe it or not I actually miss the marathon cluster feeding snuggly times with max!!
These days he's so inquisitive he's on and off the breast, his arm flails about and every little noise draws his attention!!

I'd say that he was defo going through a growth spurt and got my milk supply up. Even suckling encourages milk production

 

[tuckie27]

Yeah, I remember reading the '4th trimester' concept in Happiest Baby on the Block and thinking it made sense. We're just getting really frustrated with the shrieking cries practically every moment she's not on the boob! I'm glad to know someone else's baby experienced a 'growth spurt' type stage & I'm really hoping that's what this is and not some other, long term problem!

 

[jenny25]

It could be a little bit of colic what I did for Kieran was express a little on too a spoon and there is a thing called colief I'd put some of that in there and give him that just before a feed and it seemed too of settled him I noticed a big change xx

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Just to butt in, I was thinking it could possibly be colic. I made that mistake with Edie when she was newborn, thinking she wanted to feed constantly as she was screaming but actually she was screaming because she had wind and I wasn't winding her enough. The breast was giving her short term comfort but actually exacerbating the problem.
Is she bringing her knees up to her tummy at all?

 

[croydongirl]

tuckie I am sorry! I was wondering if she might have wind too. Levi really struggled with that. His was more bottom end and we discovered the 'Windi' which saved our sanity. Also some days they are just 'off' for a while and then they rejig themselves and everything is ok again.
Levi has been trying to poop for days and not able to sleep longer than a few hours at the most for the past few days/nights, its killing me! I had forgotten what it felt like to be up so often, and all he wants to do is feed because its comforting, but its not helping the problem when its struggling to get out the other end!

All that to say, I feel your pain and I hope that you all get some rest soon. They like to mix it up, but when you are breastfeeding it is physically exhausting on a whole other level. Make sure you are taking prenatals still to keep getting the essentials and keep snacks handy through the night so you can munch as you nurse. I would feel sick to my stomach if I didn't eat enough and that made me cranky too.

Hoping today is a better day, hugs xx