Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[bumpyplease]

Davies google airwrap mesh cot system - mesh type bumpers that are completely breathable. Argos and John Lewis do them for about £20 x

 

[sara1]

Hoping- You and Penny are both absolutely gorgeous. I really hope you're about to get a singleton with your surrogacy. I think what you're doing is AMAZING!

Kat- I'm glad you were able to get some rest at least, but it does sound like a rather awkward/uncomfortable position to be in. I've basically given up and allow Eva to sleep on my chest, and then I transition her to the crook of my arm, when I've resting on the side of the chaise... I haven't slept in my bed in weeks since there's no support for me to be half propped up and the couch provides better back support for bfeeding.
I bet you were frustrated with what your mother said. I hear a lot o that around here though thankfully Dh can't bear to see her cry and would never dream of not trying to soothe her immediately.

Tuckie- Glad to hear the poo problems solved. Hopefully Bay will start sleeping more when her growth spurt passes. Hang in there... it's so draining

Embo- love the jumperoo shot!!

Just- I hope Emelia has recovered from her jabs. We go for ours on Tues and I'm dreading it.

afm- things with dh have settled, though not entirely resolved... more of a detante. I'm confident we'll get through things just fine but we've both got some work to do. Meanwhile Eva's been having a tough 48 hours though I've no clue why. She's been much fussier than usual (which is saying something) and has refused to sleep anywhere but on me. no swing, no basket, no crib, no daddy... nothing. I must have tried at least 2 dozen times yesterday to transition her from my chest to her bassinet or crib with no luck. She's got a ton of wind as well, poor little thing.

 

[hoping:)]

Croy- enjoy the driving lesson and baby free studying! What are you going to school for? Are you learning to drive on a stick shift? Penny also does the fake cough because she thinks its funny.

Pink- Love the expression! Zach is adorable. Tim and I both slept with Penny on or chests when she was a new born and we loved every minute of it. Now, not so much, because we get little fingers up our nose or feet in our face.

Just- What are the plasters for? It sounds like they aren’t phasing her too much besides the bruises. Enjoy your chunky baby

Kat- Yay for the cord finally falling off and the blow dryer being a miracle worker! $11,500.00 sounds pricey. I think we paid $750.00 after insurance.

Tuckie- The Native languages are definitely dying off. My grandparent’s generation speak it fluently and also the younger generations are bringing it back in our tribe. My parents and my sister and I don’t speak it fluently but I know a tiny bit. My niece, Rosie, is always singing Penny lullabies in Laguna. If you dance and are in the Kiva at all it is mandatory to speak it so all my uncles and male cousins speak it. I moved away when I was 13 and never learned… I’m kicking myself now and hope that my family will teach Penny. Will you guys do any traditional Native American things for Bay?

Your old insurance sounds awesome with only a $69 copay! Don’t worry. You will get your libido back. Its hard when you feel like a milk machine and have baby on the brain constantly. Your sex life definitely changes after a baby. At least for us it did. Before it was a couple times a week and now more like once (two or 3 if he is lucky!) a week. Sad but true! It gets easier once you have a baby who sleeps through the night and has a routine. For now it just means more quickie daytime bding than before.

Happy 6 weeks to Bay!

Davies- Like Croy, I would suggest a breathable bumper. I hear you on not being the same after birth. I bounced back pretty quickly with no stretch marks but my hips are definitely wider so pants that used to fit are uncomfortable or I can’t button! Your work out schedule and food diary will have you back to where you want to be in no time! The weeks and months thing confused me too. I only went by weeks for the 1st 2 or 3 months. Penny was born on the 29th of October so the 29th of every month I count as another month. For example- she was 14 months on December 29th and will be 15 months on January 29th. A ticker will make it much easier

Just- I hope Emelia enjoys her swing! We didn’t really use one with Penny. She had one but didn’t care if she was in it or not.

Puppycat- 5 months and no solid sleep is rough. I hope he starts STTN for you soon!

Sara- you will find a new balance soon with DH. A baby changes the whole dynamic of your relationship but it sounds like you two really love each other and will figure out your new normal and make things work I'm sorry Eva has been fussier than normal. I hope it passes soon!

AFM- last night was my turn for no sleep! Penny woke up crying at 12 am and cried on and off until 6 am. We had just gone to bed at 11 so now I am shattered. Even at this stage they have their sleepless moments although not nearly as often. She normally sleeps from 7:30 pm to 8am but I think she is getting another tooth because she can’t keep her fingers out of her mouth.

Last night we took Penny to Tim’s Holiday work party (I know it’s a little belated) at Itz Family fun center. She had a blast climbing on the inflatable slides and riding the carousel. Tim and I even got some good arcade action in complete with bumper cars. We also won a free message and gift cards to Amazon and Target.

 

[filipenko32]

Can I join please!!!???

I copied this from my journal and the pal thread:-

Back home now! Everything went brilliantly and I was really well looked after by all the nurses and midwives and my hubs who is an emotional wreck all the time and so loved up with 'his princesses' . So we were in on the Tuesday morning at 7.30 and lexi was born at 10.47am, c section was over quickly and pretty much pain free! I was so overwhelmed when they pulled out lexi!! me and hubs cried. She was lobster pink and 10/10 for health and alertness she came out crying very loudly! I breast fed straight away and have not had one single problem! she guzzles more and more and I can hear it draining down her tummy and her guzzles! I was fine on my own with her, I slept with her next to me in the big bed but she had to have her own blanket, I woke up nose to nose with her at 5am this morning

Had a second shower this morning at the hospital and cried and cried with happiness that my mc misery came to such a happy end and thought of all my lovely friends on here and how we have supported each other so much and continue to do so!

Waiting for hubs to pick me up from doors of hospital this morning and 10 people stopped to: look at lexi, nudge each other to look, look back, smile at me or say how cute she is and I cried again! I feel so blessed and lucky that i have a beautiful baby girly!!

That's my birth story.

Ps and as for growth scans PAH!!!! and amateur gender sleuthing PAH again

Loads of photos to follow!! Xxxx

 

[hoping:)]

Fili- its official you are a MARL Congrats again and I can't wait to see more pics of your princess. I love that you woke up nose to nose with her Enjoy every minute!

 

[filipenko32]

Thanks hoping, I know it was a highlight!!

I will be reading back soon, just trying to update before lexi wakes up!

 

[croydongirl]

Fili - I keep tearing up reading your posts and updates I cant believe she is here. I am SO HAPPY for you!

Hoping - sad that penny was up so much hope she is ok. It's so sad when they are not themselves an cant really tell you whats wrong. Hope you can all catch up on some sleep today.
I am just trying to get my AA so when I go back to work after our kid(s) are in school I can have the option to get my BA in something like education without having to start over and do the whole 4 years.

Sara - good to hear that you and hubs have opened up lines of communication and are positive about the future. Sometimes it is about choosing to think positively and trust that you will get through together because you both want it.

afm- Levi has not been sleeping well at all. I thin he did a random 7 hour stretch the other day but otherwise its been 4 hours at a time tops. I am so tired. Hoping its a growth spurt or something?! He is napping ok during the day so I have a few minutes to myself but I am trying to fit in studying so its not really restful. I am making some banana bread now he is down for a nap nothing like warm banana bread and a cup of tea on a cold and snowy day - yes, its SNOWING here. Its not sticking but its freezing out there.

 

[hoping:)]

Croy- getting your AA is smart and then you can figure out what you want to complete your degree in after having your kids. I went straight from highschool to college and got my degree in Nutrition. I regret that I didn't give myself more time to think it through. Now all I have is a very expensive piece of paper because I work in a field that is not even closely related. All I really want to do is be a SAHM now that I have Penny!

I hope your little guy starts sleeping better for your sake. Banana bread sounds pretty good right about now.

 

[sara1]

Mmmmm banana bread. I too have been bitten by the breastfeeding gluttony bug! I eat way more now than I did in third tri!!

 

[KatM]

Davies,
i hope the breathable bumpers work. We pay about 40% in taxes at top range too, then $827/mo health care and have $11,500 co-pay/yr.

Listen to your hubby. You are a hot mamma. Don't let those negative inner voices get the best of you hon.

Tuckie,
i dont envy your growth spurt, but hopefully it will be better after this one.

Croy,
driving is freedom here. sorry you had a bad night sleep.

sara,
good to hear that things are better at home again. sorry eva is being so fussy.

puppy,
yikes. 5+ months of stress.

AFM,
dh let me sleep from 8pm-11:30pm by myself until G was hungry. i needed it. kept G in the cosleeper. he started fussing around 7:30am. dh took him and let me sleep till 10am. feel soooooo much better today. split shifts help. this sleeping arrangement cannot last, but it is working for the time being.

 

[tuckie27]

Davies/ Embo- I dream of the day Bay will sttn in her own bassinet/crib! I hope 7 weeks is the magical sleeping week for her too!

Justkeep- I think the breathable bumpers they make nowadays are okay but i haven't done much research on it yet since Bay is still in a bassinet and not a big crib. I know the old school bumpers are considered bad now though. Glad the jabs went well

Puppy- hearing that Samuel still isn't sttn scares me! Lol I know all babies are different though & they all do things on their time and certainly not ours. I hope he starts sttn soon for you mama

Sara- glad things are a little better with DH. I feel your pain having an extra fussy little girl right now. Ugh.

Hoping- Oh no! So many of us are having difficult LOs right now I hope to give Bay some traditional Native American influences but I am pretty out of touch with it all. It was my great great grandparents that were full blooded and my grandparents didn't really do traditional stuff with my dad and his siblings so I never got much of it either. I've been to some events on the local reservation; music, dancing, food, booths with homemade items for sale and such. OH's Maidu grandmother has painted some great Indian art though & his mom has some cool Indian stuff, so Bay will see things like that from his side. We've been talking about taking a drive up to OH's tribe's res. it's about 2 1/2 hours away. We still need
to register Baylyn with their tribe.

Fili- congrats again hun! I can't believe you took 2 showers already! I took one on the 3rd day and I was still so sore and weak I could barely walk still! That shower did feel sooo good though! Glad your recovery is going so well!

Croy- it's snowing a little here too! I had coffee on the porch for about 5 serene minutes and watched it snow & then Baylyn started screaming again lol I've been snacking on these banana nut bread oat bars. They're pretty good

Afm, Bay is still fussy and just wanting to nurse or sleep on my boob

 

[tuckie27]

Kat- OH and I did shifts also when Bay was fussing all night. Helps A LOT that way. Glad you feel much better. Sleep does wonders!

Oh yeah, and regarding all the homeless in SF. I should point out that SF is probably not representative of the amount of homeless in any given part of the US. SF has A LOT of homeless. Most highly populated cities do have homeless people but I've never been to a city with more than they have there. Out in the sticks where we live, you don't see too many. Same with the suburbs. Could be that it's easier to get around and also the big cities have more services for them like shelters and soup kitchens.

 

[puppycat]

Samuel's asleep atm but i'm awake. Can't switch off these days and i'm starving.

I put him in his cot at about 11.45pm and he managed 2hrs inthere. Longer would've been nice.

 

[sara1]

Eva slept for 6 hours straight last night (2am to 8 am) and is now 2.5 hours into an afternoon nap. I may be jinxing myself by even posting this, but I feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel!
Now, I'm off to do something I haven't done in 2 months- take a hot bath

 

[heart tree]

Unrelated topic here but when I was in san Franscisco I couldnt believe the amount of people that were homeless and had clear mental health problems wandering around and shouting and talking to themseves. Thats what my husband explained to me unfortunately if you dont have the money then you dont get treatment. Over here you would be sectioned under a mental health act and admitted to hospital for treatment whether you consented or not.
I thought America was trying to bring in a similar National Health Service but not too clued up on it.

Oh yeah, and regarding all the homeless in SF. I should point out that SF is probably not representative of the amount of homeless in any given part of the US. SF has A LOT of homeless. Most highly populated cities do have homeless people but I've never been to a city with more than they have there. Out in the sticks where we live, you don't see too many. Same with the suburbs. Could be that it's easier to get around and also the big cities have more services for them like shelters and soup kitchens.

Haven't read back, but saw these bits about SF and had to chime in as that's where I live. It's true that there is a bad homeless situation in SF. But why you see so many more in SF as opposed to New York or other large cities in the US is a combination of things. The first, and in my opinion, most important is because in the 70's there were huge cuts to social services including mental health and homeless shelters in CA. That had a devastating effect on the so called "crazy" people. Many of them are Vietnam Vets who couldn't find work when they returned and turned to drugs and alcohol. Some are disabled. Others are immigrants. And some have mental health problems. But with services cut, there weren't many options. Another reason is because SF has a temperate climate where people can live year round. In NY, Boston, Chicago, etc, there are more homeless shelters as the people would literally freeze to death if they weren't inside. In SF, people can sadly live outside year round. Also, SF is only 7 square miles. It's a VERY small city, so it appears much more concentrated with homeless than other cities like LA. Finally, it was made illegal to forcibly treat the mentally ill in most cases. I'm not sure if that is a country wide law or just in California. But it is extremely difficult to get someone treatment if they refuse. San Francisco has done a number of things to help the homeless, but it's such a complex issue. When I was a therapist in training, I did a portion of my internship at a drop in center for homeless seniors. I met a wonderful man who was a Vietnam Vet. He didn't do drugs, but never got over his PTSD from the war and ended up on the streets. I also did part of my internship at a homeless women's shelter. I did art groups with them each week. One woman was elderly. Her husband died and didn't leave any money behind. Another woman was young and her whole family was killed in a tragic accident. She had no one to turn to. These women were trying to find work and get their lives back in order. But in the meantime they were on the streets in the day and in the shelter at night. Sadly, that shelter closed and it was one of the only ones that housed women exclusively. Social services continue to get cut in California and the homeless, poor, elderly and disabled are the ones who pay the most dearly.

Sorry to get on a soapbox but I feel very strongly about this topic and needed to offer another viewpoint from someone who worked in the trenches of this great city.

Ok, off the soapbox now. Will catch up in a bit.

 

[hoping:)]

Kat- I’m glad the split shifts gave you some relief.

Tuckie- It sounds like you have been to one of your tribe’s feasts or at least that is what we call them. I love going to them especially to see the dances and eat all the yummy food. I hope your DH’s side can pass along some traditions to bay. It’s all very interesting and I can’t wait to take Penny to her 1st dance. She had moccasins and a dress made for her naming ceremony but she hasn’t had the chance to wear them since. You should definitely take a trip to the tribe especially during one of their festive times.

Sara- Enjoy your bath! There is nothing better than soaking your tired body.

Amanda- thanks for your insight. It is very sad. I totally agree about the climate having an impact as well. We don't see as many homeless in Colorado because the weather can be fridgid.

AFM- Penny slept like her usual self last night so Tim and I curled up with a few episodes of the latest Dexter series. This morning she woke up and is definitely sick. She is not unsettled but just pouring snot and coughing. Poor baby.

Penny has officially turned to the dark side and is 100% a daddy’s girl. Its adorable but makes me so sad. I was on the verge of tears last night because I didn’t expect it so soon.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Heart, I've leart something from what you've posted. I didnt realise that it was actually banned to force people to have treatment for mental health problems in California. That was my only point that whilst in san Fransisco I was honestly shocked at the about of people that were homeless and had clear mental health problems. I found it heartbreaking and my husband said over there if you dont have the money then you dont get treatment unfortunately. It obviously isnt 100% correct then.

Homelessness is a real problem here aswell, In Glasgow which is the closest city wher I live you have it aswell sadly but nowhere in comparison to what I seen in SanFrancisco.
Whilst in San Fransisco aswell it broke my heart when we were on a bus and a homeless man came on it with no shoes, he obviously just had the right money to get on the bus with what people gave him. Well you should have heard the abuse that the driver started to give him about the smell coming off him. I actually had tears in my eyes and thought how can you speak to another human being like that in front of a bus full of people! very sad indeed.

Again that was my only point that I think we are lucky to have a national Health system which does offer free treatment to all regardless of money.

I loved San Fransisco bytheway, I much preferred it to NewYork and will definetely go back one day.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Fili, its lovely to see you on here, Im so happy for you, it sounds like your over the moon with you little girl, cant wait to see the pics!

I took Emelia to baby sensory today for the first time, it was good to socialise with the other mums but to be honest I think Emelia is still too young as she just slept the fulltime. Other people were laughing and couldnt believe that she could sleep through the music, I tell people that the louder the music and noise the deeper she sleeps. She was obviously used to loud noises in the womb as my job involves speaking to people all day long and shouting down a phone to people that are elderly and hard of hearing along with our dog that barks as she now thinks she's quite the guard dog when people ring our doorbell.
I will take her back though as I think she will be better as each week goes on!

 

[petitpas]

Hi ladies, I can't quite keep up in here but I am loving the pictures - you all have such adorable babies!
Hoping and Tuckie, your cultural heritage is absolutely fascinating. Your little girls are really going to enjoy learning all about it. I'm gushing over the thought of mini moccasins here...

All is going well here apart from sleeping falling apart. J slept through and went into his cot. Now he doesn't and is back in with us. I wonder whether he is coming down with something as he was sick this morning and is refusing to eat. That us most unlike him, he is really serious about his food. We do a mixture of baby led and traditional, I suppose. We now cook without salt so he can eat what we eat. Then again, we feed him yoghurt, cereal, fruit compott and the odd puree with a spoon. He isn't so keen on puree. He would much rather hold a floret of broccoli in one hand and a toast finger in the other We really do give him a taste of everything - Chinese, Indian, Greek, French... Next week we are going for a sushi meal with him. That should be interesting!
I worry about the day when he gets fussy with food. It will break his Daddy's heart

Kat, I found the first two to three months the hardest but then suddenly things got better. It is like coming out of a cloud. Not long now for you. In the meantime, if it means breaking a few rules and doing it 'your way' then so be it.

Davies, maybe try offering Lexi a taste of your food from your finger? J only ate a very small amount at first.

 

[KatM]

Puppy,
i hope relief is around the corner.

sara,
YAAAAAY!!!

Hoping,
That is hard that she is such a daddy's girl. it will switch back. hope P feels better soon.

Peti,
Wow, J is quite the eater!

afm,
survived another dreaded night.