Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi Sara, Im glad to hear your getting 7 hour stretches of sleep at night, thats really good. Also thats great that you and hubby are getting out for time to yourselves on Saturday. I think its really important to have that. You will find it strange Im sure that Eva is not there as you've been so used to this little person being with you for all those weeks now.

My mother and father in law took Emelia last night from 6-11pm which was brilliant as they knew we'd had a stressful week. So we both got to catch up on things that needed done.
They are going to do that a couple of times a week and my mum already takes Emelia on occasions more so during the day. I think its really helpful and good to get "me" time. I know that some people are quite funny about leaving their babies with anyone and want them with them at all times but I knew that I didnt want to be that way.
You asked about Emelia sleeping so much, the doctor isnt concerned at all and said that every baby is different and she is reaching all of her milestones as normal.
I'm taking a guess at this but because I've not been breast feeding, from day 1 Emelia has only been used to getting picked up every 4 hours to be fed and changed and then wanted to sleep again. I think she is very used to her own space and self soothing.
Again she has been feeding well from the bottle and taking 4 0z from the beginning and now taking 5-6 0z each feed now, we've read that you can estimate a baby will sleep an hour for every oz of milk that they consume. Its so true in Emelia's case, as if she dosent finish a full bottle then she does not sleep aslong.

My sister in law was amazed at the routine that Emelia was sleeping for 4 hours at a time from day 1 as she said that she had to breast feed my nephew every hour so I honestly think that may be the difference. But again I know MrsM said that Louis is sleeping a lot and also breast feeding, I think babies are just different.
Please dont think Im preaching about bottle feeding v. breast feeding as I wouldnt even go there and I know Im definetely in the minority when it comes to me bottle feeding. I know people have strong opinions over it. Its not even breast milk v. formula, I think its a case of knowing exactly how much they are getting each time. If you were always to express milk into a bottle I'd imagine you would notice an hour of sleep for each ounce of milk as a general rule.

She is definetely becoming alert and more awake for longer but does still sleep a lot in comparison to other babies that I read.
I've spoken to other people aswell that have more than one child and they tell me that some do just like to sleep more than others.
When she is awake now Im trying to give her lots of stimulation and rotating her between her bouncy chair, swing, playmat and she also loves to watch the colours on the baby TV channels.
She is sleeping as I type this and has been since her 7.30am feed so for 3 1/2 hours now. Im just going to wake her and get her ready for baby sensory again today and I hope that she stays awake this time through the class.

Tuckie, sorry you've had a rough night with Bay. Its so true that these babies like to keep us on our toes just as you think your getting into a routine. We've had such a stressful week with Emelia crying and last night when my inlaws watched her she made a liar out of us and was great apparently not crying at all.
I think we've just got to take the good with the bad.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Just - what you have just said is so true, all babies are different. And I can only speak for myself but I'm fairly sure nobody here thinks you are preaching about bottle feeding at all. What I love so much about this group is how non-judgemental everybody is. I do think its true that to a certain extent bottle fed babies get fuller quicker, and I've known lots of breast feeding mums who give their babies a bottle at night so they settle longer, but like you say each baby is different. Louis feeds almost constantly during the day and evening but quite often sleeps for 4 hours on a night. Edie did too, though her feeding habits were different from Louis. It sounds to me like you have got Emelia into a good, settled routine and she is thriving on it. It's probably partly down to you, partly down to her.
Sara I'm pleased you are getting out at the weekend. It will feel really, really strange, but I hope you enjoy it.
Louis has had a funny morning, he woke at about 7.30 and just wanted to feed non stop. Edie didn't wake up so I left her in bed, stayed in bed with Louis until around half 9, got a shower and took him downstairs. All morning he has fussed and demanded feeds, and cried every time I put him down. I got Edie up about 11.30 (she is full of cold and exhausted) and honestly it was hard work, I couldn't give her the attention she needed as he wouldn't let me put him down! Finally I tried the trick I used yesterday, put him in his car seat and he has napped happily in there for over an hour which has given my nipples a break as he literally fed all morning. He has really filled out and also got longer. Both children are napping now, but my teenage stepson is home from school early because of the snow. No peace for me!

 

[croydongirl]

Just - I don't think anyone thinks you are saying anything preachy about feeding at all, you are just sharing your thoughts and experience. I totally agree that it would be great to know how much Levi was taking at each feed. I have often thought that I would love to pump enough that I could feed Levi with a bottle and know how much he was taking and ensuring that he had good feeds before bed.

Sara - so great you are getting a good sleep stretch. Levi was always a good sleeper at that age. It makes all the difference! I know you need it. How are things going with your dh? Really hoping you are getting into a better place and finding some peace and time to reconnect.

Kat - so great to hear that Grey is starting to be happy in his swing. I swear that thing was my saving grace. Levi started to nap in it and would take 2-3 hour naps as a teeny boy. I kept it swinging and turned on the mobile type thing and he would sit in in for a few minutes happily and eventually fall asleep. I hope it turns into a respite for you too. Levi was always so alert which is a blessing in that they are so involved and engaged but the fighting sleep can be a real frustration. I can't wait to be able to reason with Levi!!

afm - I am not sure that its a result of sleep training or just dumb luck but after a day of great naps, Levi went to bed at 7.30pm and kicked around for less than 10 minutes no crying before he fell asleep...and stayed asleep until 5am!!! I nursed him and he went back until 6.30am when I changed his bum and brought him into bed with us. I nursed him again and he went back to sleep and has been snoring away for almost 2 more hours...its almost 9am! I guess this is his first nap technically but I am staying put in my jammies!!

Happy Friday to me and to all of you!!!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Croy that's awesome. I always found that better daytime naps bred better nights sleep as well. I hope it's the start of his new routine!

 

[sara1]

Wow Croy- That's amazing. I really hope it bodes well of things to come

Mismig- You must be exhausted! Eva fed like that when she was that age and I was just shattered, but I didn't have another child with a cold to tend to as well. You really are supermom!

 

[KatM]

sara,
have fun on your date. sorry eva does not like baths. hopefully she will grow into it. grey screamed during sponge baths but we found if we sat him totally upright he was fine.

mrsmigg,
i am jealous od you 4 hour stretches at night.

croy,
soooooooooo jealous. i miss sleep.

just,
haha for your parents not having to hear a single cry.

afm,
i miss sleep.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Kat I hope you are ok. Are you managing to get any rest during the day? Avoid doing anything that you don't need to do, just look after yourself and Grey.
Sara, thank you so much, but I am far from supermum. I reached the end of my rope tonight. Mark was busy ironing and I was trying to sort both children out but Louis had fed constantly from 4pm and I was completely wiped out. I was snappy and horrible with Edie and I was so stressed because every time I put Louis down he cried. I wanted mark to stop ironing and help with Edie but I knew he was helping me by ironing. I would have preferred to have ironed myself and had a break from the crying baby and over tired toddler. This evening has been better though and I am less stressed now. Edie did a wee in her potty as well which is awesome.

 

[daviess3]

Mrs m bless Edie what a clever girl, extra treats for her, it's hard sometimes I think our other halfs take a lot of flack from us, but we put up with them to xx

Just I'm a bottle feeder ur not alone Hun, an I think as long as u do what's right for u an ur bubs that neither is better or worse! I actually used to talk to another group of girls but there so hung up on bfeeding, when I said I didn't try an didn't want to they all shot me down said I had to try etc etc, I didn't feel comfortable with it I just never wanted to do it, I bonded with lexi immediately an I don't feel like she's any less loved because of it.
As a rule with regards to my friends lexi being bottle fed slept longer periods as tiny babies an was easier to get in a routine, she has now however stopped that an wakes once a night!! When all my friends who bf there babies sleep so who knows!! X

Kat I miss sleep to, a full nights sleep an a lay in!!!!! Ahhhhh dreams xxx

Hope everyone's well xxx

 

[filipenko32]

Reading all the feeding and sleeping stories with some understanding now!! Lexi lost 10oz a few days after birth which the midwife said was ok but since then on my breastfeeding alone she has only been managing to sustain a weight of 8lbs nearly 2 weeks later. Midwife has recommended combo feeding which I am more than happy with because I don't like breast feeding and I'm glad the pressure is off a little. I can only seem to express 20ml from each boob at one express sitting - is this normal? So i am topping up with 60ml formula. She absolutely guzzled the formula and expressed milk so i think she must have been starving on my milk alone!!

Mrs mig I would rather do ironing too when lexi won't go in her cot!! Great news about Edie and that Mark is helping you. I've stopped lexi from sleeping with me now so she always has to go in her cot now, I found it hard to get her used to this at first but she's fine now although she has had quite a few wont settle moments - in my case i think it was because she wasn't getting enough boob milk. Midwife said my latch was good and perhaps I'm not eating / drinking regularly enough myself? Wondered what you thought? Could be because I had a c section too?

Lexi had her first 'full' bath at home yesterday i thought she would hate it but she loved it! And her cord has fallen off now which freaked me out and i never found it!!

Just I just started combo feeding today 10am and so far lexi has slept for 3 hour stretches but it's too soon to tell whether the 30min / 1 hr sleeps, and sometimes consecutively, will be wiped out with this combo feeding. One thing is for sure i think her tummy is much fuller whether breast milk or formula and so I've noticed today that she seems much more contented. I like that hubs can feed her too. Oh yes, love that we are all non judgmental on here and help each other out,

Sara love the 7 hour sleeps how are you Hun?

Croy that sounds wonderful! Love your fb pics too!

Kat I miss uninterrupted sleep and not being woken up too! I dont think even pregnancy insomnia
prepared me for that.

Hoping how are things going?

 

[KatM]

MrsMigg,
Yay for Edie!
I am getting some sleep during DH's shifts... so about 3 hours and then maybe 1.5-2.5 during the morning when he works and has Grey in his Ergo. I have not been napping which is strange since I used to nap all the time. I am just used to sleeping 9-10 hours a night and then taking a short nap. Haha, times have changed.

I was so crabby last night, DH took over at 8pm and send me to bed for 1.5 hours. It backfired and left me unable to sleep well the rest of the night. Plus I worry DH is getting such shitty sleep since his work is intricate and he fully supports us. I did nap while BF for about 10-20 min today and felt good. I need to stop trying to squeeze it all in.

At night, when I am feeding and sleeping in the crack, I just don't sleep well as you can imagine. Still, I imagine you have it rougher than me with 2 for sure. I am glad Mark helps. DH changes every nappy and bounces him to sleep all the time. He also wears him during the day when I am not BF and he is working. I then cook, do laundry, etc...

Davies,
I did not know Lexi was not sleeping the night too. Where does she sleep now?

Fili,
BF is hard. Glad you get to supplement.

AFM,
Yikes Grey is FUSSY!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

We all have it tough in different ways I think. Louis has had a super fussy night. I have slept sitting up with him most of the night. He woke at 1.30 and hasn't fed properly. Every time I put him to the boob he has either fussed and moaned or fed for 2 minutes and fallen asleep on me. Every time I tried to put him down he moaned to be picked up again. I'm exhausted from yesterday so I keep falling asleep too so I have slept sitting up. I just changed his nappy and it was horrible, I think the chilli I had for tea last night disagreed with him, even though it was mild.
In the hospital they told me just to give him one boob but that is evidently not enough so I'm going to start giving him both.
Kat I can't imagine how you sleep in the crack. I hope it's not too much longer for you.
Fili I'm glad the combi feeding seems to be working out. I'm sure Lexi will have regained that weight in no time.

 

[cazi77]

Hi all

Fili hope the combi feeding goes well I'm sure Lexi weill put on weight very soon.

Mrs M - I find Freya is not good with garlic it really upsets her. Poor louis hope the poo settled his tummy.

Hope all the babies start sleeping!

AFM - I bought some formula and was going to try giving her a bottle areound midnight to see if it helped to fill her up and sleep better! There was already some expressed milk in the fridge so D/H offered to keep her in her moses basket downstairs giver her a bottle when she woke then bring her upstairs so I could get a few hours sleep! She was tired last night so went to sleep at half 7, woke at 11.30 for a bottle then back to sleep until 3!! She had a bit of wind so was up and down til half 4 then went back to sleep til 8! It was great - she can do it just hope she keeps it up!

 

[filipenko32]

I just expressed 40ml out of one boob!! so happy! Poor lexi had bad wind last night she was pointing to her tummy, crying and doubling over punching the air and I think it was because I didn't keep the bottle snug against her mouth and let too much air in. When I gave her some more fm after a sleep she was fine wind wise and slept nearly 4 hours!!!

Cazi how much do u express typically? I don't know if it's to do with combo feeding yet for me but lexi seems more contented and sleeps longer with the top ups of fm. I use aptimiil what do u use?

Mrs mig do you mean one boob per feed? Sorry you're so tired Hun its awful when you're beside yourself tired as I've found out!

 

[sara1]

Fili- Breasfeeding can be really really hard and sometimes using a little formula is absolutely the right choice for you and your baby. I had similar difficulties in the beginning with Eva- She lost quite a bit o her birth weight and then was gaining slowly. I felt like I was feeding constantly and was ,exhausted, frustrated and disheartened. I didn't manage to built up my supply enough to bf exclusively until about 7 weeks and we still give her a bottle of formula now and then for convenience. It can be exhausting but there are things you can do to boost your supply. I'm currently taking Fenugreek 3 tablets 3 times a day, lecithin and probiotics. I also double pumped for weeks every three hours after feeding. It's exhausting, but it did work. I worked with a lactation consultant and I think it really made a difference as well. Remember that you're doing a wonderful job no matter whether you breastfeed or give her formula!

Cazi- Whenever we give Eva a bottle in the evening she conks out. Hope it works for you

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Fili- yes they told me in hospital just to give one boob per feed. That was ok when he was first born but its not enough now. He seems a little more settled today. We went out for lunch with some of my friends and he fed a lot but he was pretty chilled the rest of the time.

 

[cazi77]

I didnt actually give her the formula in the end i just used expressed milk and she slept well for daddy - little monkey. Have bought aptimil for if we need it,. I only pump once a day in the morning and get 5-6oz which is just over 160ml which she is then given at some point evening night time by D\H.

 

[sara1]

Wow Cazi- 5-6 oz is fantastic, I wish I could get that much pumping!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

I could only manage a couple of oz when I tried with Edie, and she wouldn't take a bottle anyway. I don't think I'm going to bother this time.
Fili as requested I've changed my picture! Had to have one of both my babies though!

 

[puppycat]

We're combi feeding Samuel now too. He lost 7oz this week so need to get some weight back on. I am still bf him overnight but express in the day and add it to the formula bottle.

 

[filipenko32]

Lovely pic mrs mig!!

Thanks for all the comments re combobfeeding, thanks Sara feel so reassured now xxx