Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[Mrs Miggins]

I imagine that was a tough decision for you to have to make Pups. Hope you are ok.

 

[KatM]

Hi Ladies,
I am happy to report a small miracle occurred yesterday. I read The Happiest Baby On The Block Guide to Sleep because the Happiest Baby on the Block has helped with Grey's fussiness time and time again.

In it he talked about the 10-20% of babies that NEED movement to sleep... the true bouncing babies. I have tried to implement his swaddle and white noise for Grey in the past, but it only worked week 1. All subsequent tries have failed miserably. I have also tried to put Grey in the swing in which he used to just cry. Anyways, he talks about how to use the swing and jiggle it roughly to calm the baby and have him swaddled with white noise as loud as the shower and to dim lights 1 hour prior to bedtime.

After cluster feeding from 4-9:30 I was bloody miserable. DH put him in the swing and jiggled vigorously until Grey was calm and then put it on high. When Grey fussed he kept jiggling. DH was super patient for an hour and Grey managed to actually fall asleep for the first time since week 1 off of our bodies. It was only for 10 minutes or so, but we were overjoyed and hopeful.

I planned on nursing him down and sleeping in the crack like I have for weeks. After 2 hours straight of feeding and being used as a pacifier Grey was screaming bloody murder when I unlatched him and refused him the nipple. I could not take anymore. Out of desperation we put Harvey Karp's book to the test... We planned on starting slow with naps. DH swaddled him, put him on his side, shushed him and bounced. We put loud BROWN noise (I like this so much better) and put him in the swing when he was sleeping. DH jostled the swing for a bit and then we cautiously prayed for the best. We got 2.5 hours sleep in our own bed, together! This was repeated 2 more times. We felt fabulous. Now I know 3 sets of 2.5 hour sleeps sounds wretched for most people, but this was our most successful sleep since we first brought Grey home from the hospital. It also meant I did not sleep in the crack and could fall into deep sleep for the first time in weeks. Grey never cried the whole night. He just fussed a bit to be fed.

Today, we have successfully had him nap, swaddled with brown noise in the swing. He even went down somewhat awake and fell asleep on his own with just the swing, not needing repeated jostling. He is learning to self-soothe!!! We feel like there is light at the end of the tunnel.

UPDATE: this worked for 2 nights but failed last night. I was back in the crack.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi Kat, just read your post and was glad that you had discovered something that was working but then read that its failed to work last night...sigh! Too good to be true eh!
I sympathise with you as it does sound tough for you guys. I know its maybe a last resort for you but just been reading that quite a few of the ladies are combi feeding with formula and breast milk which I think seems to be a good idea. Have you considered doing that at all?
Just wondered if Grey maybe is still hungry and thats why he is constantly wanting to nurse, has he been getting weighed to see if he is putting weight on? as I guess that would be the answer to whether he was getting enough milk from breast feeding alone. Its just a thought.

Or it could just be that he loves to nurse and use you as a pacifier as you say. I know that as lovely as it is to cuddle and nurse our babies it just is not practical if we cant put them down to get anything else done.
Again I know its not ideal and probably the last thing you want to do but whether you've let him cry it out for even 10 mins.
I've done this for the past two nights with Emelia. I've been finding that during the night she has woken at 3am for a feed. This takes me approx 30 mins for her to finish teh bottle and then I have to keep her upright for approx 20 mins so that her milk dosent come back up (she is always sick if I have to lie her down too soon after a feed). The past two nights she has fell asleep on me on my shoulder and when I put her back into her bed about 4am she wakes and starts to cry as she knows she has been put down. I said to myself that I was going to let her cry for about 10 mins and after that I'd pick her up..well sure enough she cried herself to sleep and was soon out for the count. I know it seems cruel but I mean if your certain that there is nothing wrong ie. clean nappy, no wind etc.

I can imagine how stressed you must get with your situation as I feel myself getting stressed if I feel that I cant do anything other than feed and comfort Emelia when I have lots to do. The past few days I've struggled to even get a shower until the afternoon time. Today I had to jump in the shower really early before she woke up. I need my shower to set me up for the day.

 

[Mrs Miggins]

I'm having the same issues at the moment. Louis seems to want to feed almost constantly. He tends to sleep around 3 hours on a night and then wakes up but once he wakes for a feed he wakes every hour after that. Then he crashes out at about 8am and Edie wakes up. Feeding almost constantly is very tiring and I've got another cold. I remember getting really run down a few weeks after Edie was born too and getting a cyst and impetigo. It's hard but it's only for a few more weeks for us all, hopefully.

 

[KatM]

just,
thank you for your detailed response. i had no idea a bottle feed took 30min. glad emelia settled on her own. its only normal they want to be held 24/7 but it sucks for us.

yes, i have thought about formula for a midnight feed. obviously my breast milk only sustains grey for 2.5 hours. its normal for EBF babies to eat every 2-3 hours, but its so hard to deal with. i am going to go till at least 2 month at EBF, unless I cannot take it anymore. I know DH wants me to EBF.

last night had nothing to do with hunger. he apparently woke every 15 min on the swing. DH slept on the floor next to the swing to jostle it. When the baby would not calm, he gave Grey to me to BF. We tried the swing again. Same thing. after the next feed, grey fell asleep next to me in his cosleeper, so I left him and he slept for 2 hours. DH was so sweet and let me sleep through all the swing problems and then took the baby from me early this morning and left the room so I could sleep. the only issue is DH has to sleep too because he works.

Are you following a routine?

MrsMigg,

You have so much on your plate hon. Balancing two and a cold sounds so challenging.

 

[KatM]

On a lighter note, Grey had his first beach weekend! The weather is in the high 70's, and we took advantage. Grey was remarkably well behaved and we were really able to enjoy. I basically wound up BF the entire time we were at the beach both days, but got to enjoy the ocean views and spotted dolphins both days.

 

[croydongirl]

Kat - I am glad that you found something to give you a reprieve, even though it looks like it hasn't been fool proof. Sometimes just a good nights sleep every now and then works wonders. And sometimes, they just feel strange when they have had more sleep and it can screw them up but I encourage you to keep at it and hope he gets used to the feeling of longer sleep stretches!! I had to give Levi a couple of ounces of foumula at nigth for the first couple of months because I couldn't seem to make quite enough to satisfy him. At the time I felt awful, but once I realised he was hungry I got over it. And after a month I only needed to do it a few times a week and could supplement with expressed milk. He hasn't had formula since but he did need it while my milk supply evened out or something. I think the lack of sleep really affected how much milk I produced. As soon as I got some more sleep I made enough that I didn't have to supplement, but I needed the formula to help Levi get full enough to sleep. I am not sure if that is an issue with Grey, have you tried giving a bottle of pumped milk or formula? I know we were skeptical but when we did he sucked it down so fast, we knew we had to offer him more.

Just a thought, not sure if that's helpful or something you have already tried but wanted to share our story. It hadnt occured to me until i read MrsM's post.

 

[croydongirl]

we posted at the same time!
He is so sweet - are those Bum Genius? Levi has those!

MrsM hope you have a healthy household soon

 

[KatM]

Croy,
Thanks Hon. You sharing is helpful. I might consider a formula midnight feed if I can get Grey to consistently settle for bed and he is only waking up because he is hungry. If he is waking every 15min, I won't bother. The idea of going a longer stretch sounds so fantastic.

Yes, they are bum genius organics. I love them. I wish they were not so bulky, but I know that is so he grows into them. He has g-pants too, but they are so tiny that I am afraid the velcro tabs hurt him... Though he does not seem to notice. I consider the g-pants his glamour diapers. I had him in them on Day 2 at the beach for photos, but of course he soaked them before I could take any.

 

[croydongirl]

It seems like a million years ago that Levi was so tiny, but it just occurred to me that perhaps it's something in your milk. That could explain why it seems he could sleep one day but not the next. I know if I ate chocolate or had coffee, even in the morning to would unsettle him. If I ate apples or applesauce or ate too much dairy then he would be uncomfortable enough to unsettle his sleep. Could he uncomfortable do you think?

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Apples are horrendous Croy. I remember when Edie was tiny I ate pork chops and baked apples in cider and she was in agony. Kat, I hope you find something that works.
Louis has just slept from 11-3. I think I need to make sure we are always asleep by 11 as 3 seems to be his time. Then I will get 4 hours. He has a cold too and it's awful listening to him struggling to breathe through his nose. I have tried swaddling him tonight as I did that earlier for his nap and he napped for 2 hours.

 

[hopeful23456]

Kat- gorgeous pics! Cant believe its so warm there. It was -9 here this morning, -30 with windchill!
Hope u get some sleep and the girls could be on to something with what u eat? I tried not to eat spicy foods,I think it was kellymom.com that says it makes no difference but I disagree

Mrsm- d and a slept from 11-2am for a long time, those feeding are so tough. Hope he lets u sleep after.

Cazi- sounds like she is doing great!

Croy- going to have to stalk your journal. How does he like solid food? D loves bananas but think he got constipated from them and he spit up too, ate too much I think

Pups- hope the combo feeding goes well. We did for a while (pumping) and now all formula.

I'm frickin freezing!!!! Scary to take the kids to the car but daycare is 2 mins away and I run the car for 10-15 min before getting in.
I'm going to cancun feb 8, trip won at work for sales quota. Super nervous to leave kids but we are hiring my cousin to help dh for some hours and just going for less than 5 days.
I skipped the trip last year as it was a cruise and I was pregs. Taking my BFf who lives 2 hours from me.

 

[croydongirl]

Mrs M - Do you have a humidifier for night time? That was such a help for Levi's breathing when he had a nasty cold and was really blocked up.

Hopeful - I am trying to find time to write a blog update about the food. Levi LOVES food. He is quite happy to hold a teething biscuit, a rusk which is the first food I had too, its from England and I got some given by a friend! I watch over him like a hawk when he has them though because I am scared he is going to chomp off a big bite!! I have been giving him the purees 3 days at a time to make sure there is no allergic reaction or anything. So far he has had, avocado, pears, sweet potato, carrots, & peas. I have parsnips, potato, spinach and butternut squash ready for him to try. He got a bit plugged up on carrots which I found out cna be an issue? And the peas too seem too, at least he hasn't pooped since we started those. I guess it could be a coincidence. I gave him pears yesterday to see if I could get things moving, but nothing so far. Avocados tomorrow to see if that helps! I haven't tried banana yet, thats on my list.

He takes bites off the spoon well and doesn't make much of a mess. I got him a sippy cup with a straw from Target, it is designed so that parents can squeeze the cup to make the water go up the straw. I only had to do that a few times before he figure it out Now he sucks away he sometimes forgets to swallow which is cute and wet but otherwise he is grand!
I also got some of the mesh food holders, they say for 6 months + but I think I might try putting a banana in one of those soon, or some steamed veggies. Do you know what I mean? They make sure no big bites get through the mesh but they can taste the food.
That trip sounds amazing, good for you taking your BFF. I hope you have a fab time, you deserve some rest and relaxation.

afm -We had a rocky weekend with sleep but last night he slept for 10 hours! 7-5 then after feeding, back to sleep for a couple more hours and finally got up around 8am. It was wonderful especially because I had gone to bed early too. Longest I have slept since he was born. He napped great today too. Its so inconsistent, that I am trying not to get my hope up of a repeat anytime soon but it would be wonderful if he did longer stretches. That way I feel we could leave him with a sitter at night and be pretty sure he wouldn't wake up.
My boobs were huge and full when I woke up! They didn't know what was going on!
Hubby goes out of town tomorrow for the night gets back late Wednesday and then is teaching a class about 1.5 hours away after work on Thursday night. Poor planning on his part. We won't really see him until the weekend. Make for a long week for me. I am having a girlfriend over for dinner tomorrow and she will spend the night, and then another friend is coming for dinner Wednesday too. Is nice to have some girl time but I miss him, and his help with Levi at bedtime especially.

Ok, hope all you other ladies are doing ok

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Right on cue, 5am!! Why won't he sleep longer than an hour after his night feed I wonder?
Croy I will try a humidifier thank you for the tip. Re peas - i seem to renember our health visitor telling us peas are not great for weaning as they struggle to digest the husky skins. Hopeful, the trip sounds great, so good you have someone to help with the twins.

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi ladies,

Kat, if you manage to exclusively breast feed until 2 months that great but if not its not the world I guess. Probably your ideal would be to make sure Grey is getting about 5oz at night time, if he were to get that at midnight you'd soon see that he would sleep until about 5am..an hour for each ounce of milk.
Night time is definetely the hardest when getting woke up every hour or so.

You asked if we have a routine. Thats whats most important to me that Emelia gets enough milk before bed time so that she sleeps. I get to go to my bed about 11pm and my husband stays up late anyway so he keeps Emelia downstairs and gives her a last feed about midnight. That then (normally) takes her to 5am and I feed her then. Then around 3 hours later she will wake at 8am for a feed.
Throughout the day her feeds are 3 hours on the dot normally. After a feed she is normally awake and alert for about an hour or so which Im trying to entertain her and give her lots of stimulation and then she will go back to sleep for a couple of hours until her next feed.
I dont stick to regimental feeding times as if she is showing signs of being hungry sooner than 3 hours I will feed her, likewise if she is having a longer sleep I dont wake her for a feed and I will wait until she wakes up. Also if I have it planned to go somewhere then I'll make sure that I have her fed first as she's normally happy to take a feed anytime even if its just a few ounces.

You are so lucky to live so close to the beach, Grey is just too cute in his swimshorts. I cant wait for the better weather to come into Spring and then Summer here, I'm looking forward to day trips in the nice weather.

MrsM, poor Louis having a cold. It must be awful to hear him struggling with it. I'd imagine even taking him into the bathroom whilst you have a shower etc. would help to clear it, even putting him in the car seat.

I've had a cold over Xmas and kept waiting for Emelia to catch it but she never did. I didnt want to see her struggle with a cold but at the same time the health visitor did tell me that when she catches her first cold it will clear out any mucous that she has. I think I mentioned before about how noisy her breathing is and it sounds like she is snorting and grunting at times. The health visitor said that its because she is still full of mucous. Apparently years ago when we were born every baby used to get suctioned at birth but they stopped doing that so lots of mothers are now complaining to the health visitors that their babies are so noisy.

Hopeful, cant believe how cold your weather is right now. Its turning cold where I am just now but only reached about -2 so far with light flurries of snow the past few days. A trip to Cancun sounds amazing for you, a well deserved break.

My husband was away for the weekend there winter hill walking and climbing so he says that he will treat me to a Spa weekend break. To be honest I think I'll probably only go for a day spa as I dont know how he would manage without me.
Im also due some free nights this week where he has promised to do all of the night time feeds, we'll see if that happens!

 

[KatM]

Croy,
All I eat is dairy, chocolate and spicy foods, LOL. If I gave them up, my whole diet would be gone.
Yay for a super long stretch of sleep! I can't believe how grown up he is, eating all that food.

Hopeful,
You so deserve this time for yourself in the Bahamas. Please try to relax and enjoy.
I don't know how you can stand that cold weather. Sounds dreadful! You will have to soak up the rays in the Bahamas.

MrsMigg,
Hope he gets better very soon. We sleep with a humidifier.

Just,
No, it is not the end of the world if I dont EBF for the arbitrary 2 months. You are right. I always planned on giving formula if we were not getting sleep. I don't know why I am resistant.

Grey feeds about every 3 hours too. What formula are you using?
I hope you have the best spa weekend ever. Try to take both days if DH can handle it, so you can completely refresh.

AFM,
I let DH sleep from 8-midnight last night since he covered for me totally the night before. Grey and I snuggled on the couch and he slept from 9pm-midnight. Then I went into the bedroom and Grey slept for 2 more rounds of 3 hours each in the swing, BUT with DH sleeping on the floor to bounce the swing every 20min when he stirred. This only occurred after 1.5 hours of non-stirring each night. DH gave him to me when he would not settle and wanted to BF, but Grey never cried the whole night. Today, I woke him after sleeping for 3 hours to feed...so the stretches of sleep have gotten slightly longer. I am going to wait till after 8 weeks to introduce formula to see what happens.

On the funny side: In my sleep I moved my teddy bear to the co-sleeper and still slept in the crack. DH told me this morning when I woke up bewildered.

 

[Abi 2012]

Hello ladies! sorry i have been awol for a while :/ have just read back but prob forgotten most already .. but here goes!

loving the baby pics kat and mrs m grey and louie are so cute

kat- sorry to hear your struggling with feeding/ sleeping ect.. its so painful and tiring. p.s im jelous about the dolphins u were watching at the beach... i love dolphins!

mrs m- tbh i dont know how u breast feed and have another young child! you reall are supermum!

hopeful- how are the twins? love the pics so cute what an odd position to sleep in lol...

croy- sorry you had a rough weekend hun xx

afm- well noah is 5 weeks old today! where on earth hasthe time gone?? he is still doing really well he was weighed a week ago and is now 10lb 2oz and is so cute still have had a rough week with a sickness bug in my house first i had it then matt (DH) then noah and now im waiting for josh to gt it hence i havent been on in a while on top of that noah is having a growth spurt i think and isnt settlingvery well atm.. but im just going with it.. p.s the snow here is severely annoying me now ...

here are a few recent pics of little man

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Kat, you asked what formula I use. I use Aptamil, its the one that I kept reading about in all the pregnancy books over here. They say its closest to breastmilk. I dont know if its different brands that you have over there.
Haha to you still sleeping on that crack even if you dont need to, you must love it deep down.

Abi, it sounds like Noah is doing great and is piling on the weight. He is obviously a big healthy boy at that weight. In comparison Emelia got weighed last week at 10 weeks and was 11lbs 3.
I found that she was having growth spurts early on and putting on a pound a week but that has slowed down now.
That sickness bug is no fun is it, I had it over NewYear.

Just took some recent pictures of Emelia yesterday.
https://img152.imageshack.us/img152/1526/p1030119x.jpg

Uploaded with ImageShack.us
https://img507.imageshack.us/img507/5640/p1030091e.jpg

Uploaded with ImageShack.us

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Lovely photo just. Emelia is beautiful and that dog is ADORABLE!
Abi, thank you but I'm far from it. We have had another good night. I told Mark I must be asleep by 11, as he likes to stay up later but I can't do it. Louis has been waking around 3 so I thought if I'm always asleep by 11 then I get at least 4 hours. Anyway last night he woke at 4! He just fed from one side and fell asleep, then didnt wake again until 7 which is fantastic.
And Edie is now potty trained! She has been dry for 3 days! She pretty much did it herself when she decided she wanted to, so that's a tip for you all in the future, don't try to train them until they are ready. She hasn't mastered poos quite yet but that will come. My lovely neighbour knocked this morning to give Edie and I a lift to Playgroup and his wife came to sit with Louis. I wish we didn't have to move away from these people! We are going to view a house on Saturday, I hope it is nice.
Kat, I hope you had a good night last night.
Hi everyone else. Hope you are all ok. Looking forward to Debzie, MrsK and Melfy joining us!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Here is Louis yesterday with his funny little face and his crazy hair
https://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r232/daphnetiger/89B43C38-465D-4FDA-BD7B-1A352A6D95F8-5412-000005905FEDFA2C.jpghttps://i145.photobucket.com/albums/r232/daphnetiger/E24C2A63-6512-417B-BBBE-CAD31E3F06A5-7375-0000074FFC88DB55.jpg