Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi everyone,

Heart, Delilah is such a gorgeous little girl, she looks so happy in the pics. your looking great yourself.

Hopeful, that sucks that you have one kid in a great bedtime routine and another that dosent want to sleep. I know people often have said to me that they think twins would be easier as they are both at the same stage but I've always thought that would be harder and it just proves that they dont always want to be aopting the same routine.

Hoping, that is ashame about that couple. I guess you can kind of understand it and from their point of view if theres chances of another miscarriage it would be very hard on them. At the same time though it shouldnt stop you from being a surrogate thankfully as there is a chance that can happen to anyone so thats good that there is another couple very interested.

Kat, you asked me about what protection we are using. We're also using the pull out method. I know its not ideal but to be honest its always worked fine in the past. I know how hard it was for us to get pregnant and had to actually pin point ovulation exactly to fall pregnant so Im pretty confident using this method.
I really didnt want to go back on birth control pills as it made me really hormonal in the past. I was always having mood swings and ups and downs and didnt like it. Even when the midwife suggested it to me at my post natal appointment my husband said no straight away as he had to suffer the wrath of me!
As much as I definetely dont want another baby right now, Im not ruling it out a year down the line so dont really want anything to interfere with my body.

We were at baby sensory today and its funny how you do end up comparing babys sizes etc. theres a little boy that is two weeks younger than Emelia and when I first seen him 3 weeks ago he was a lot smaller than Emelia. Well now he has overtook her and much bigger.
Emelia was gaining 15 ounces each week at the start and now thats slowed right down, she seems to be at the 11lb mark still, although I will need to jump on the scales with her again.

 

[hoping:)]

Kat- 2 months was when Penny started sleeping through the night until the 4 month regression and then she was up once or twice but that is not bad at all compared to the newborn stage. Keep up the good work

Hopeful- oh no! I’m sorry it is one thing after another.

Hi Bumpy!

Just- the boys definitely tend to catch up to the girls and then some! Our friends have a little boy who is 4 months younger than Penny and he is sooo much bigger! How is she doing in the sensory class?

Thanks for the support everyone. I can’t help but feel sad but having gone through what I did trying to get Penny I completely understand. It really tugged at our heart strings when we read that they lost their baby so late in the pregnancy. Not only were they devastated but their entirely family which just showed us how loved a baby would be in their family. I hope they get someone really soon!

I should hear back on the other couple but I also got an email saying there are more couple’s profiled for me to view! This is so far my favorite part! I am itching to read them but I broke my stupid wi-fi card so can’t access the profiles until I get home. Its weird that work will allow me to get on BNB but not a surrogacy site.

 

[heart tree]

Oh Mrs M, I still don’t have the energy to DTD. We’ve done it a few times but at his request. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t do it until Delilah was in college! Loving the Russell Brand version of you!

Amber I’m so sorry about the surrogate couple. I was wondering if your history would be disclosed to the families. In all honesty, I’m not sure I would pick someone with miscarriages in their history either. But perhaps a couple who doesn’t have their own trauma with miscarriages would think differently. Clearly you can carry a baby to term and you’ve been cleared to carry another. I hope this next couple chooses you. I love that they are same sex.

Kat, sleep will get better. (and worse, and better, and worse). Grey is such a healthy, gorgeous boy. If they weren’t so damn cute, we wouldn’t have a human population. You’re doing a great job mama.

Jodi, if you could see me, my face looks concerned for you. Call me if you need to.

Bumps, got any more pics of your delicious boy?

Davies, what’s going on with you chick?

Just, babies start slowing down with weight gain around 3-4 months. Try not to compare with other babies. I drive myself crazy doing that. We use the pull out method too, when we have the energy to even DTD. I want to get fitted for a diaphragm though. I won’t go back on the pill and we hate condoms. I don’t want to do an IUD either. Just need to find the time to get to the doctor. I’m hoping that only having one tube lessens my chances of getting preggers again in the meantime.

Do any of you remember 35_Smiling from the RMC thread? She posted on someone’s journal and in her signature it said she is fighting breast cancer. I read her journal and it sounds like she is in Boston getting treatment and won’t be able to TTC again. Thought some of you might want to pop onto her journal and give her some love. I think she could use it.

As of last night, Delilah has decided she likes rolling on her belly in her crib. But she cries and wants to be on her back. She knows how to roll onto her back, but for some reason won’t. So Tim and I were up almost every hour with her. Luckily, now that she is in her crib, Tim takes more shifts and I can sleep. Well my darling girl did the same thing for both naps so far today. She cried, but then fell asleep. Guess my baby sleeps on her stomach now! Little bugger.

 

[KatM]

Hopeful,

I hope you are still going on your trip. You deserve it.

Just,
One pill I was on made me so moody, far worse than being pregnant. I switched pills and all was well. The pull out method is birth control as long as DH really pulls out in time, which yours obviously does. Mine does too.

We are not ruling out #2 either...that is why DH doesn't want me to get an IUD. Plus there is no reason to get one if we are going to TTC anytime soon. As soon as we are done for sure, I will get the copper IUD.
I read weight gain slows down to 1-2lbs a month after month 1, so no worries.

Heart,
Did you finish your work? Shower? May I ask why you are opposed to IUD? I am going to have the copper one as soon as we know we don't want to TTC. My Dr swore there was no increase of scarring and both his sister and sister-in-law have it. He said the scarring was with the old ones. I like that it is non-hormonal. Just wondering what your thinking is or if you know something I don't. The copper IUD is too expensive if we are going to TTC anytime soon. It is $1100 out of pocket and then whatever my insurance will reimburse me. I have not called them about it.

Tuckie,
I added to my post to you, but don't know if I caught it in time. I was just letting you know that bottle feeding is also time consuming... took DH 1 hour.

 

[heart tree]

Kat, the only real reason is that I'm so done with people poking and prodding my cervix! After 4 D&C's, 2 hysteroscopies, a saline sonogram and an HSG, I'm simply done. Not to mention the countless ultrasounds I had to have to measure my cervix and the baby I pushed out of it, LOL! I think it's a great option, just not for me.

And no, I didn't finish my work. I'm being naughty by visiting this site. Tomorrow Tim is taking baby duty all day so I can focus on writing. I've already gotten a lot done as Delilah continues to have great naps. She is now 2 hours and 8 minutes into a nap on her stomach. Longest nap ever. And thanks, I finally did shower this morning!

 

[Mrs Miggins]

Bumpy, Davies, good to see you.
Hopeful I'm so sorry to hear about DH. Hope you are ok.
Hoping I'm sorry to hear about the hitch with the first couple but it sounds like there are still lots of exciting prospects. I still think you are amazing to do this for strangers.
Heart, I'm so terribly sorry to hear about 35. She is such a lovely positive lady, why do shit things happen to good people? As for Delilah sleeping on her tummy it's always such a concern when they start to roll and do that isn't it? Our health visitors said that once they are old enough to roll into that position they are also old enough to right themselves if they are in a position where their breathing is restricted so not to worry, but I know that's impossible. I still worry about Edie in bed and she is a massive person now.
Kat I'm sorry to hear that the bottle is equally time consuming, but it sounds like you are getting a good handle on things.
Just, it's impossible not to compare isn't it. I met my group of friends and their babies (two other girls and 4 boys) when Edie was 8 weeks old and compared to one of the girls and all the boys she was always quite petite. Now she is taller than them all with the exception of one boy. You keep comparing too - who eats what, who crawls first, who walks first, who is potty trained first (or last in our case) it's not always competitive it's just natural. Some people avoid baby groups because of it but I quite enjoy seeing them all progress at different paces with different things, I find it fascinating.
I should go to sleep I am up way too late and could be in for a rough night. We are viewing a house tomorrow that has come up for rent. If its nice we need to make the decision about moving, very very tough.

 

[sara1]

Mismig- wow I can't imagine moving house with a newborn but I do remember you saying how dissatisfied you are with your current home. I hope it works out.

Hopeful- how awful!! Did he see it coming? Does he have somthing lined up? hope you're ok : hugs:

Hoping- I really hope this next couple work out for you and you find a nice fit. It seems like compatibility would be paramount in order for you to have a good experience.

Heart- gorgeous!! She looks ready to crawl right out of the picture,

Afm- Eva has regressed from sleeping a 7 hour stretch at nighttime to sleeping 8-9 hours TOTAL in an 24 hour period. We're both shattered.

 

[hopeful23456]

Sara- people say she is overtired with that little sleep but if she won't sleep there isnt much u can really do. Hopefully she sleeps tonight! Could she be getting a cold or something?

Dh didn't see it coming, was 3 month trial then a review and his boss wants someone that doesn't want to get paid much or promoted (dead end job)which was fine to cover some bills which is why he had it. As dh asked for more responsibility and wanted a raise

Amanda- mine still don't roll onto tummy and not much on to back either. But hold heads up good. She is a strong girl! Thanks for being concerned

Hoping- sorry to hear that but I really hope the next couple chooses u!

Gotta run- d needs to have a nap

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi ladies,

Hoping, you asked how Emelia is doing at the baby sensory. The first week she slept the whole time. The last two weeks though she has been awake the whole time and very content, no crying or anything. She seems quite alert and nosy at all around her. It really does seem good for babies. I watch the older ones that are sitting up and crawling and they seem fascinated.
Its a young girl that takes it and it is quite cheesy the singing and sign actions but good fun all the same.

Heart, Im kind of like you in that I technically have one tube aswell. With my double womb only one side seems capable of holding a pregnancy. Thats my right womb that is fully formed and has a fully formed cervix and only one fallopian tube attached. My left side has an underdeveloped cervix and also is very hidden away so I reckon impossible to actually get pregnant in it. So basically when I ovulate on teh left side I cant get pregnant anyway. Thats why I think it was taking several months to actually fall pregnant with Emelia. So I dont really want to go on any birth control just on the off chance that it jeopardises any future chance.

Hopeful, sorry about DH's job, that sucks. Its always a worry for anyone.

MrsM, as you say I think its only natural to compare but I think you'd got to be light hearted about it and not competitive. Its just out of interest that I do it, I like to see the babies changing on a weekly basis.

That is very sad about 35 Smiling, I remember her from the recurrent miscarriage section. Its so true that bad things happen to good people. It really can happen to anyone.

 

[sara1]

8pm to 4am then 5am to 7:20!!!!!!!

 

[filipenko32]

Lol Sara! Fantastic!

everyone I'm reading all your posts but I find it so frustrating to type one handed!!

So sorry hoping hope that it works out for you with another couple xxx

Hopeful so sorry about dh job xxx

I'm 13.5 stone off to weight watchers class next week when bf stops

 

[bumpyplease]

Mel don't be too hard on yourself, Lexi is only a few weeks old and you have just had major surgery. You need to take it easy Hun. Enjoy that gorgeous girl of yours, weight loss can come later.

I only started really trying to lose my baby weight when Alfie was coming up to 4 months old. The night feeds made me tired and wanting to eat rubbish lol!!

I think u look fab Hun, and more importantly happy! X

 

[filipenko32]

Yeah I know you're right bumps. I am just going to try for healthier eating and steady weight loss, just bearing it in mind and I think an hourly class a week might help me keep it in mind?? Not going to crash diet or anything, just want to be healthier. When did you not feel any scar tenderness anymore? Mine seems to be fading a bit.. Nt sure I could go swimming yet though?

Heart I'm glad Tim is taking more shifts. When you say d rolls do you mean you have to keep turning her back because it's not as safe? Love the pictures of her she is just gorgeous - takes after her mummy

Just I read online that by 3-4 months babies in average are 16-18 lbs does that sound right to You/anyone else? The sensory classes sound great! I think I will be comparing size too think it's natural!!

Lexi's asleep now going to try to get out for 11 am...

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Sara, thats a fantastic sleep 8pm until 4am!!
We thought we were doing good as this week Emelia has more or less slept from 1am until 8am. My husbands friend has a baby 4 weeks older than Emelia and he was saying that she gets put to be at 9pm and sleeps until about 8am. I just know that there is no way Emelia will go down before midnight as she always looks for a feed around that time. Im going to be hopeful and try it this week though.

Fili, I think its completely normal to get a bit upset about the weight gain as Im the exact same. Its true though that we shouldnt be so hard on ourselves.
I was 9 stone when I fell pregnant and I shot up to 12 stone 10 at the last weigh in when pregnant. Im now stuck at 11 stone.
I got weighed two weeks ago at my postnatal assessment and the nurse asked what I was before pregnancy and I just seen a look on her face.
I know that Im definetely still bigger than I was but I really dont think I look 2 stone heavier. I honestly think that we have more muscle or something around our stomachs and womb still as I cant understand where this excess 2 stone is.
Its still very early days for you and at least you have an action plan if you do join weight watchers. Im just trying to calorie count again and Im cross training every night to burn 700calories.
What matters most though is that we have our babies now and if our bodies needed to put all that weight on to do it then thats fine...I just think I enjoyed myself way too much with food though.

Hi Bumpy, hope all is well with you and Alfie.

 

[sara1]

Fili- don't stress about weight yet! It took 9 months for you to put it on ( more if like me you gained with each miscarriage). It's way to early for you to be swimming as well... Definitely get cleared by your dr first but I think 6 weeks is pretty standard. My scar was tender till about then, and I still have numbness in my lower belly.

 

[sara1]

Just- I know, I'm really psyched about it, even though it may turn out to be a fluke. I never thought she'd sleep through from that early either. We're trying to go with the sleep patterns laid out in Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. So far it seems pretty spot on.

 

[heart tree]

Teething officially SUCKS!

3 hours of sleep last night after dealing with a screaming baby. I gave her some ibuprofen at 2am and she finally fell back asleep. But I didn't! I had horrible insomnia. She's not happy. Daddy isn't happy. Mommy isn't happy. And I've come down with a cold on top of it. Blah.

That being said, we have to go to a memorial service for a little girl who died on NYE. I know her mom. The girl developed a rare form of cancer when she was 2. She went through hideous treatments for 1.5 years. She was in remission for less than a year before it came roaring back. Her parents made the decision not to continue treatment and a few weeks later she died. They gave birth to another little girl 2 months before their daughter died. I can't imagine tending to a newborn while my other child is dying. It's too much to think about. I tried not to get too upset last night when the baby was screaming. I reminded myself that I'd much rather be sleep deprived today from my very alive and active baby then attending a funeral for her today.

Fili, I responded on FB. I'm glad you aren't starting WW until you are done BF'ing. You need the extra calories. And the longer you BF, the more weight you'll lose without doing much of anything. Yes, Delilah is turning from her back onto her stomach in bed now. I watch her on the video monitor and she can roll back onto her back, but inevitably she rolls right back onto her stomach. I don't bother trying to turn her onto her back. It's a fruitless effort as she just rolls right back over. I read that some babies who are teething do this as the extra saliva tends to pool in their cheek when they are on their back. On their stomachs, the saliva drools out, which I've noticed to be true. The risk of SIDS declines drastically when they have head control and can roll on their own. She's had excellent head control since she was 4 months old. She'll be crawling soon, so I'm not too worried.

I meant to mention that there have been some studies linking Tylenol or Paracetamol in infants to asthma. The studies are showing that even one or two doses can increase the chance of the child having asthma. My ped said infant ibuprofen was ok so I'm giving her that instead. Don't want to scare anyone. Do your own research on it. I've decided not to give her Tylenol for teething or fevers.

 

[KatM]

Hi Ladies.

Sara,
Fantastic! Lucky you. I hope it stays this way.

Heart,
Yikes that sucks. Thanks for the info on Tylenol. How's your paper going?

Fili,
Try not to worry too much hon. I heard BF burns off the most fat between 3-6 months in according to Dr. Sears. Don't know if going to WW has anything to do with your decision to stop BF. Be soft on yourself. Look what your body gave you.

Just,
Wow! Can't believe you have the time/energy/will to be burning 700 calories a day. I'm still exercising, but it is moderate and shorter than when I was pregnant. I love working out and find it essential for stress relief.

Bumpy,
Good to hear from you.

AFM,
More of the 6 week growth spurt. Hope this ends soon. Wound up bed sharing yesterday, but no more... DH rolled over towards the baby and I had to wake him to move the hell away. It's not worth the risk for us.

 

[tuckie27]

Hey ladies :wave: I'll do my best to reply to everyone but I'm on my phone & often struggle to remember it all!

Hopeful- so sorry about DH losing his job My OH is still getting unemployment and just doing side jobs. It's hard but were making it cause thankfully he is getting max unemployment. Can your DH file for it? It helps us out a lot. So stressful looking for work in this economy though

Kat- yes, we do feel a bit like fumbling teenagers with the condoms I told him between BFing and pull out we'd be fine but he didn't want to risk it lol I cant di hormonal BC, it gives me horrible migraines. The only reason I thought about combo feeding was so I could get help & have OH take feeds too but I don't think I'm going to. Especially with your saying it takes just as long. I need to just get a pump. I haven't pumped at all! All the good ones are expensive though so I wanted to wait til we do our taxes. Sorry you're going through another growth spurt with Grey the 6 week was easier for us cause B slept a ton the last couple days of hers.

Sara- that's great sleep!!!

MrsM- I laughed at your Russell Brand comment don't feel bad, I think I woke up looking like Jack Black myself!

Just- I'd never heard of baby sensory classes. I searched for classes in our area and there were none :/

Hoping- sorry about your first pick couple. Like others have said, I understand their hesitance, but I know you'll find a great couple that accepts your mc history and we'll all be cheering you on

Heart- so sorry D is teething! Poor baby...and poor parents too! Thanks for the heads up about Tylenol. I'll look into it So sad about your friend's LO getting cancer. How awful for those parents

Fili- don't worry hun! I gained about 45 lbs!!! I think I had the most gain in the whole parl group for a singleton baby! Like Sara, I gained after my last mc too. I'm trying not to stress too much though because I am BFing. I have a big appetite still so I know my body needs those extra calories to make milk. Just focus on Lexi and being healthy for her and don't worry so much! It'll come off eventually and you don't want to affect your supply.

:wave: Hey Bumpy, Davies, Abi, Pink, Embo, Tracie & anybody else :wave:

Afm, Bay has been pretty good lately. She still fights naps sometimes but rarely fights sleeping (with me) at night. She still eats A LOT! But she's getting better at entertaining herself and soothing herself, which is great. She gets her first round of shots in a couple days. I hope she does okay. I don't want to see my baby in pain!

 

[hoping:)]

Kat- I think after insurance I ended up paying about $60 for my copper IUD. Tim did that once with Penny and I woke up with him almost on top of her. It freaked me out so that is when I decided she needed to sleep in her own room for my peace of mind and her safety.

Mrsmigg- I hope the house inspection went well

Sara- Yay for a good night. I hope it has continued

Hopeful- it sounds like the job wasn’t a good fit if they weren’t going to allow him to advance in the company. I hope he finds something really soon.

Just- I think it is good you are starting her early. We took Penny to her 1st class when she was almost 2 months old and we still go periodically. I hear the sing and sign classes are excellent. I have a friend on BNB who has been taking her son since he was just a tiny guy and now he can sign all the words he can speak plus lots more.

Fili- don’t be too hard on yourself. Lexi is only a few weeks old so give your self some time. A healthy diet and plenty of exercise will do you some good physically and mentally. Breast feeding will also help you to shed some weight.

Amanda- teething does suck! Penny loves sleeping on her belly too. Once she was able to do this she went back to STTN. Now, she loves sleeping with her little bum in the air. I hope you were able to complete your paper this weekend.

I still can’t get over the death of that little girl. How tragic. I can’t imagine what her family is going through. I have that same type of mindset when Penny is having a bad day or night. I always tell myself that if she is screaming/crying at least it means she is breathing and alive.

Tuckie- regarding baby sensory classes- do you have a Gymboree close to you? That’s where we take Penny. It can be pretty pricey but you can at least try a free class to see if you like it 1st. Just go to their website. Your local library should also have some classes for free!

AFM-Thanks for the support everyone! I’m hoping to know more by the end of the week. I’m actually surprised that I haven’t had any trouble because of the mc’s until now. I wasn’t even sure they would accept me into the program but since all my testing has come back great, besides the MTHFR, my doctor and the agency doctor cleared me. I am hetero for MTHFR but my homocysteine levels have always been great so that shouldn’t be a problem either. I totally get the concern of the parents regarding the past MC's and I'm sure I would be just as concerned. I guess we will just have to wait and see. FX

Penny had her 1st swim class as a baby dolphin. It was beyond adorable! She marched in there with her red, white and blue bikini, pink robe, pink sneakers and bouncing pigtails. The moment she saw the pool she was just dying to get in so we let her sit on the edge and kick her feet while we waited to start. I was surprised with the level of activities that were involved but Penny did great besides not liking the submerging part. After class we were both pooped and took an hour and a half nap.