Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[hoping:)]

Hopeful- enjoy the moms of multiples sale! Clothes are super expensive especially since they grow out of them so quickly. Have you ever been to the site zulily.com? I love this site because they always have multiple vendors and items range from clothing to furniture. The best part is that everything is up to 90% off!

Just- I’m glad the level 3 nipple worked and cut down on feeding time.

Kat- spaghetti like milk… I didn’t know that could happen! Was it painful coming out? I’m glad you got it all out. Grey is too cute and I love those fluffy cheeks!

Tuckie- Tim is usually dressed like that because he and Penny spend part of the day meeting with clients or he does it when I get home from work. He actually really likes getting dressed up and I’m not going to lie he looks yummy in a suit and tie.

You should definitely start a parenting journal. I love having a journal so I can look back on my baby growing up and I plan to give her all of my journals when she is older. I used to have hand written journals but the computer is so much more convenient. I’m trying to remember how to add the journal link… it’s been a while and I needed help doing it.

Bay is a cutie! I love her hat.

Melfy- I hope the level 3 nipples work for you too!

AFM- AFM- Tim, Penny and I are officially proud owners of backyard chickens! They are an Easter gift for Penny but we will raise them and keep them for fresh eggs. My mom used to surprise my sister and I with baby chicks, ducks or bunnies on Easter so I wanted to do that for Penny. Yesterday we came home with 2 Columbian Rocks, 1 Mille Fleur Bantam and 1 Cuckoo Maran. Our back yard will be our own mini farm and Tim already has big plans for our garden. Someday I would love to add a goat or two to the mix and a mini potbellied pig. We also do worm composting which produces awesome soil and great for getting rid of discarded food.

 

[KatM]

Hi Ladies,
I am sad to report that Grey now has a yeast infection in his groin folds... a common side effect of him or me taking antibiotics. This is what I feared about taking them. I just pray he does not also get oral thrush. I am so sad. I spent hours last night crying and had insomnia. I am being evaluated for PPD as I have been crying hours a day for over 2 weeks now and am not feeling "normal".

Hoping,
No the spaghetti milk was not painful. I was so excited it was coming out. Mastitis is soooo painful, that anything else (besides labor) is a relief.

DH had backyard chickens when he was growing up. He would want to do it again. I think Croy has them. Let us know how it goes.

Tuckie,
Bay is adorable.

Melfy,
Enjoy your sleep. You obviously like your MIL much more than I like mine. That's great.

Bumpy,
It's great that he is a good eater since I know you struggled with him taking milk.

Just,
Glad that worked better for you. Emelia doesn't like it when you hold her up in sitting? That is great for head control.

 

[croydongirl]

Hey ladies, I have lots o want to respond to but I'm just playing with setting up a YouTube account inhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQWkYfS8ykE&feature=youtube_gdata_playermy phone and wanted to see if I could post videos on here.
Heart I live that D is crawling! Here is my little guy showing his scooching...he loves my in-laws dog!

 

[KatM]

Update: Diagnosed with PP Anxiety.

 

[croydongirl]

Oh Lordy, that video is not the one I thought I was posting. I thought I was posting one where he goes after the dog..,oh well! I can't figure it out! the phone Youtube and the one on the computer don't seem to be connected. I'm confusing myself!!

Ladies I handed in my final this morning!! YAY!! No more studying for a week!! I have to go and see my adviser tomorrow to ask a couple o questions. I'm hoping its not too wet because I have to walk Levi there. Driving is coming along...slowly! Now I have time to play and catch up with all of you. I have missed you all.

Kat - so glad that you got your spaghetti milk (lol) and are feeling better. I had a similar thing with a blocked duct but thankfully it didn't turn into mastitis I can only imagine how uncomfortable you must have been. Happy to hear its done with! I love Grey sitting in his play seat, what a sweetie! He looks so grown up. I think he is a similar size to Levi.

tuckie - little bay is a cutie! I love her hat YOu chould see if there is a mums of multiples sale happening in your area. The one here is on April 6th and i think they try to do them on the same day or at least close to it . You might be able t pick up some bargains I have a few toys I want to get for Levi. Stacking cups and a pop up animals thing. I would love to get them second hand if possible. We got pac and plays there and I got my medella pump for really inexpensive (just had to replace the tubing and valves which i did for $15 for hygiene reasons) but all that to say clothes and toys as well as equipment are easy to find at these sales.

Heart - are you discoering that your house is way more dangerous than you thought now you have a little one exploring?! Oh my goodness, I feel like I am suddenly noticing sharp corners on everything and hazards everywhere Time for baby gates and pplay pens in my house I think.

Bumpy - levi started teething just before 4 month and had crazy drool suddenly and gnawing on him hand and having fussiness that seemed to be connected. I know it was teething but he didn't get any until just a couple of weeks ago when one bottom one cut. Its just coming right up and visible but its the only one so far. I am really hoping that the others follow suit soon because he is struggling a lot for it to just be for one.

Hoping - I love that your DH is having such a good time being home with Penny, you certainly have yourself a keeper

Jodi - 9 months!! wow! What a sweet picture. I think that they must really be starting to enjoy one another now. How are things for you and DH? Thinking of you.

Fili- Levi is adorable in her tights. So sweet. I love hearing how much you are enjoying motherhood

Hello to all of you other ladies too.

I am at my in-laws for a couple of days because hubs has been out of town since Monday. (Sara, I don't know how you do it with you dh away so much.) I was home with him for a few days but yesterday we came over here in the afternoon and hubs will pick us up tonight on his way from the airport. I love that they are playing with him right now. I feel like I can breathe because they love him as much as I do and I can have a little bit of a break. Levi s crawling all over thie house and finding all sorts of things he shouldn't get into

I'll keep trying to figure out the Youtube thing because I loved the video of D, pictures are awesome but videos are sweet too.

Ok, happy Thursday ladies, can't wait to have hubs home tonight!

 

[croydongirl]

Kat - So sorry, but I hope that having a name for how you have been feeling can help you feel more understood. I don't know anything about PP Anxiety but I have anxiety disorder so I can imagine a little of what you are experiencing.

When I was in my early twenties it flared really bad and I was signed off work for a year. I am blessed to say that today its manageable. I am not on eds and haven't been or a decade but I still notice that some things are harder than others.

Have they given you any tips for coping, are they suggesting medication? I know for me when I don't eat regularly and don't sleep enough it makes my symptoms worse. Also a few days before I get my period, I get some more noticeable symptoms. I know its to ugth for you to get sleep right now, but honestly, it could make a really big difference.

Hope poor grey feeling better soon and his meds work fast. And sending you big hugs - You are an awesome mama xxx

 

[Madrid98]

Hi ladies!! I finally made it here!!! I'll be reading as much as I possibly can from the previous posts but now it's only a quick post to get subscribed to this thread

Zeynab is being difficult as every night & I think she's finally asleep now so I better take advantage & try to sleep about too.

 

[hopeful23456]

Croy- love the video! He is so big! He looks 3 months older than mine and crawls so good. Dylan pulls himself with his arms more and can't get his knees under him to properly crawl but gets around fast the way he does it.
Congrats on getting through the semester!

Kat- sorry to hear about the pp anxiety snd yeast infection, what do you put on it? I hadn't heard of pp anxiety either but totally understandable. The lack of sleep doesn't help either. What can help it? Did they suggest meds?

Hi Madrid- nice to see u here! Hope u get some sleep tonight. It's so hard to sleep when the baby sleeps as that's your break time and time to get stuff done!

My grandma passed away last night so we are all going to my home town 3 hours away on Sunday where most of my family was born, raised and stil lives there. 1300 people in the town. She is my dads mom and had twins (my dad and his sister who lives in FL and won't be back here ever I guess...she didn't get along with her mom and has mental issues). I wish I could have asked my grandma about how she raised twins back then! But she had a stroke years ago and hasn't been with it completely for years.

So will see lots of relatives and they will get to meet the babies. I have 1 grandma still alive now out of my grandparents.

 

[hoping:)]

Kat- oh no! I’m so sorry about the yeast infection and PP anxiety diagnoses.

Croy- Yay for finals being over! The video is too cute! Your in-laws sound like mine. I love that I can trust them with Penny and know that she adores them and they love her as much as we do. I’m trying to get the same bond going with my own family. Penny doesn’t get to see them as often so can be stingy with her hugs and will only give high fives.

Congrats on your precious little girl, Madrid

Hopeful- I’m so sorry about your grandmother. It will be lovely for you to see your family and introduce the babies but of course the circumstances are sad. That is how it was when my mom passed last June. It was wonderful to have my whole family together but I hated that it was because we lost someone so precious.

 

[KatM]

Hopeful,
So sorry about your grandma passing away.

Croy,
Thanks for sharing your experience. I love the video of Levi crawling even if you did not mean to post that one. How exciting! All we got to see was his little behind chasing after his toy.

Hoping,
I hope Tim has had a better few days.

AFM,
I spoke to a PPA therapist yesterday. Yes, she suggested meds, but I don't want to use them until I try other things first. She said the most important thing is for me to get more sleep. My longest stretch per night is about 2 hours for the last month. She was very concerned about this and wanted DH to take over a feed. I said no because I am afraid of getting another plugged duct if I miss a feed. She told me I needed to at least get a 3 hour stretch (though 4 is the min she wanted, but 3 was still better than 2) and to work something out with DH.

My problem is that it started taking me forever to fall asleep worrying about everything. Then any sound Grey would make, would wake me multiple times during the small 2 hour stretches between feeds. Last night I wore earplugs all night and DH brought the baby to me when he needed to feed. We also stopped bathing him at every change at night (the dr told us not to use wipes). Also, I used my own counseling skills to examine the issues I am worrying about (mainly rashes that I am constantly battling on him) and rate them from 1-10. I am allowed to stay awake all night worrying about things 8+. Rashes are a 3.

I said a mantra to myself of "I am safe. I am secure. All is well" while DH massaged me and held me very close. I fell asleep!!! I had the best night sleep in a month and feel much better. I am also making the bed for sleep/BF only. I had been surfing the net and stressing about things in it. I hope I continue to feel better and put things in perspective.

I am also going to start working with my old therapist, but to be truthful I feel loads better just after a decent night of sleep. DH extended all the sleep times by rocking him in the swing faster and I only had to wake up to feed 2 times. Now that I don't have to get up to bathe him and move around, it was so much easier to fall back asleep.

 

[heart tree]

I'm reading but have no time to respond. Delilah is regressing with her naps and is fighting them tooth and nail. She is screaming as I write this! Luckily she's been sttn, so at least I have that going for me.

Jodi, I'm so sorry about your grandmother. I hope you get lots of hugs when you visit your family.

Kat, have you tried cloth wipes? I love them. I use this wipes warmer https://www.target.com/p/prince-lio...147372&LID=PA&ci_src=17588969&ci_sku=11147372 and these wipes https://www.greenmountaindiapers.com/other.htm#twosidedwipes

They fit right into the wipes warmer without needing to fold or roll them. I use a mixture of water, olive oil and sensitive skin baby soap (California Baby brand). Delilah has never had a diaper rash. I had to use regular wipes when I traveled, but other than that, we only use cloth.

I agree that sleep is the key. My doctor said I had PPD. In actuality I had sleep deprivation. I wish I could write more, but my baby is calling, well, more like screaming.

xo

 

[hopeful23456]

Heart- think its teething?

 

[heart tree]

God, I feel so guilty. I just let her cry herself to sleep. That was horrible.

No, I don't think it's teething. I think it's separation anxiety. She's doing it at night now, but until yesterday, was fine going down for naps. Now she demands that I pat her bum until she falls asleep. I don't mind doing that at night, but I can't do that in the daytime for every nap. If it were teething, she wouldn't be able to settle. With this, she settles down the second I start patting her and will start crying the second she realizes I'm leaving the room if she is still awake. Last night she kept popping up her head to check that I was still there. It's exhausting me. But, like I said, she sttn from 7:30pm to 5:00am and then back down until 7:30am, so at least I got some sleep. But I'm no fan of this new phase. I used to be able to put her down, leave the room and she would fall asleep. Now she screams the second I try to put her down. It sucks.

 

[hopeful23456]

That does suck. Hopefully she will grow out of it soon. Dylan is a little like that but he just fusses and then tries to get comfy on his stomach (yeah, stomach sleeper, makes mommy nervous). They say it happens at this age with separation anxiety. Glad she sttn though at least. I think if you let them CIO, they will learn. We let Dylan cry some and then he goes to sleep. No time to coddle every time

 

[heart tree]

Delilah is a stomach sleeper now. I used to be nervous, but she's been doing it for so long now, it doesn't bother me. I've read that as long as they can roll and position themselves, it is ok. We definitely let her cry, but generally not for a super long time. I'm not ready for CIO. Not sure I ever will be. I made her nap with me for her 3rd nap today. She cried, but then fell asleep on my arm for an hour. It was nice because I got a little nap in and then I read over her head. Just started the Hunger Games.

Lately I've been patting her bum for 10 min or so at bedtime and she falls right asleep with no fussing. I hope I'm not starting a bad trend. But I much prefer that to listening to her scream endlessly. And as long as she sttn, I don't mind one bit. Off to bed now. G'night!

 

[Justkeeptryin]

Hi everyone, quite a lot to read back on there...

Kat, I just wanted to say that you shouldnt beat yourself up about Grey having the yeast ifection and you blaming yourself because of antibiotics. Remember Emelia got oral thrush aswell, it was possibly due to my fault aswell as apparently I had thrush whilst giving birth and that can cause your baby to get it, although she didnt develop it until 11 weeks old.
When I gave birth they apparently took a swab which I dont remember at the time but weeks later I got a phonecall from a nurse to say that it showed I had thrush.
Anyway you cant blame yourself for these things, Im quite sure it will clear up very quickly, Emelia's tongue cleared in 3 days with an antibiotic syrup they prescribed.

Also regarding your crying and not feeling normal, I also agree that it will be down to the sleep deprivation and just hormones in general. I've had several crying episodes and normally feel better afterwards, I think sometimes its just things building up inside of you. I also sometimes wake in the middle of the night and start to worry about things and it really is the worst thing to do because I genuinely dont think that we are rational during the night or when just woke up from a sleep, I think your completely normal and sure everyone on here can relate to doing the same.
At least you have a diagnosis of post partum anxiety but again thats just a term I guess, I really hope you start to get into a better routine soon with Grey's sleeping pattern, you've done so well to manage it the way you have until now. Plus I was thinking to myself that only recently you've started to get out of the house more with Grey as you were advised to keep him inside for a while.
I think getting out and about in the fresh air alone helps your sanity at times, I absolutely hate to feel cooped up inside the house for anymore than a day it drives me crazy.

Not much to report for me, Emelia is doing well. Im doing tummy time every day now and she's getting better and more tolerant of it. She does like to sit up supported and also getting strong now and almost launching herself out of her bouncy chair, I def. need to strap her in at all times now. Also in the Bumbo chair the other night she went rigid with anger trying to get out of it and she nearly fell out, she straightened her legs and pushed herself out of it and nearly fell backwards, cant leave her unsupervised in that now.

 

[KatM]

Heart,
Don't be so hard on yourself. CIO is generally accepted after 6 month. D is 9 months now and moms have to take care of themselves. The way Grey is going, we might have to do CIO at 6 months. I can't keep living like this.

Just,
Yay for tummy time. If she sits up, her head control must be just fine.

AFM,
It is the sleep deprivation. I felt GREAT yesterday and even dtd with DH and was happy. Then last night Grey decided to eat every other hour, so I was feeding/diaper change 1 hour, sleeping for 1 hour. Luckily I was able to fall asleep again with the earplugs and a quick massage and cuddles from DH. I woke almost crying again. DH says it is the sleep deprivation. My old therapist says the same. He believe the prolonged, severe sleep deprivation is amplifying all underline anxiety to an unmanaged level. When I get sleep, I manage it.

On the positive side: With DH going back to the office, I have ramped up getting Grey to nap in his swing. He is currently napping there right now as I type. This might be why his sleep was so shitty last night, but it must be done.

 

[hopeful23456]

I should mention that D doesn't cry long. Maybe 3-5 min? When he's overtired. Getting my hair done now! Yeah!

 

[heart tree]

Just, I had to buy the straps for the Bumbo because Delilah got herself right out of it (the one I had was a hand-me-down and didn't have safety straps). Sounds like Emelia is an active girl! She'll be sitting up on her own in no time. I love being able to put Delilah down in the sitting up position. She seems to love it too. How is your sleep these days?

Kat, it is most definitely sleep deprivation. Don't forget, it is used as a form of torture. On days that I get sleep, I sing the REM song (ironic name for a band), "I am Superman" but I substitute Superman for Supermom. "I am, I am, I am Supermom. And I can do anything!" On days that I haven't slept, I can barely see and have been driven to tears. I was thinking about your fear of another plugged duct. I don't think that you'll develop one like you did if you let DH take a feeding so you can have 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep. I think it would take much more than that to cause it. And if you did get one, you know what it feels like now. You can easily get rid of it by using heat, massage (use a vibrator) and nursing like crazy on that side. Grey is a much more efficient feeder than he was when he was born. I doubt he would let the milk build up like it did in the beginning. I think it's worth a try. You most definitely need your sleep. And btw, I felt great satisfaction reading about you unplugging your duct! LOL!

Jodi, I wonder if the fact that Dylan and Ava are at daycare has helped them skirt the separation anxiety phase. It's just so strange. Delilah used to only fuss for a few minutes if anything and then fall asleep. Now she's playing in her crib and crying on and off for 45 minutes before she goes down for a nap. It's not full on crying the whole time, but it's more than it used to be. I tried extending her awake time, but that doesn't help either. I know it's a phase, but I'm not a fan of it.

Have a great time getting your hair done!

I just went to the gym. I did 5 days straight of the 30 day shred and then today at the gym. I'm finally feeling like I'm getting back to my former self. I love feeling fit! It makes all the difference. I have so much more energy to care for my girl. I'm also eating better which is making a huge difference too. I've always been a healthy eater, but for a while, I was grabbing what was easy, which didn't always equate to healthy. Now that she's napping and sleeping better, I can focus on me again. I highly recommend it to everyone who is feeling zapped for energy.

 

[hopeful23456]

I think daycare helps and that they have to wait for me and be by themselves a bit just in general while I work with one of them. If there was just one baby it would be held alot more! Ava is more into being on her own and Dylan likes to be held. They are just like they were when they were in me. She was head down and always practice breathing and being super good. He was wild, breech and all over the place in me and he's the same on the outside. He's good too but he was so spitty for months it was so hard to feed him. Now he sucks down 8 oz like its nothing.