Glad I could make you girls laugh. I did not think I would offend anyone since I am obviously married to a white person
. Too bad Grey got such sensitive skin. It means a lifetime of SPF 50. He is also quite fussy and tired today despite a stellar sleep night. =(
Tuckie,
It was heat and anger. He was fussy on my right boob that day. He was frustrated and kicking me. That is when I noticed all the splotches. It is a new thing.
You are doing great with Bay. It's so hard to ignore comments. Let's just remember to not do the same to our kids. Glad I could help ease your guilt over a 5 min cry. That is not CIO. That is letting them learn to self-settle. I let G go 5-10 min. Most of the time that is all he needs. After that, I will still rock him down. We need to maintain our sanity too.
I relate it to this: when G was learning to roll from back to front he would get stuck with his arms. DH kept fixing it for him because G would get frustrated. I told DH to stop it, that G would not learn himself that way. DH listened. 10 seconds later, G rolled on his own. DH never gave him the chance. That is how I view the 5-10 min self-settle. It might be frustrating, but in the same way they move through frustration to learn, this needs to be learned too.
Most people would say, "just ignore them". In most cases, this is probably best. For bulldozer idiots like my in-laws, then a hard line needs to be drawn.
Heart,
I am glad you remembered before you full on had a panic attack at Target, like I did at home.
For Your Viewing Amusement: An excerpt from my rant to my in-laws (Remember that these are the people that stole $35K dollars from us and almost ruined our credit, which most likely would have prevented us from providing Grey with a proper home)
I was breast feeding and did not hear the entire conversation going on. I did hear tidbits that I want to address. Patti, I believe you were crying because you felt we were judging/dismissing how you raised your boys. This is not the case. You raised YOUR boys and WE are raising OUR boy. The way we choose to raise Grey is of OUR concern ONLY and is NOT open for discussion or opinion. Period. I have a hard line here. I do NOT want any unsolicited advice or opinions regarding Grey's health, well-being and how we choose to raise him. This is a firm boundary. It bothers me that the way we are raising our child becomes about you.
I find it very exasperating that the boundaries that we set surrounding Grey are somehow turned around to be construed as personal attacks against you all. Patrick was insulted that I require a change of clothes after an airline flight, when I already explained to you my reasoning. I will no longer go into my reasoning, since it is obviously ignored. The bottom line is this is what is required by us. WE make the rules when it comes to OUR son. You all were not invited out here earlier because we both could not trust that you would do what was necessary in our eyes to protect Grey. We all, Mason, my parents and myself, all got the recommended vaccines. We did not believe you would do so, and this was confirmed when something as simple as changing out of dirty, airplane clothes becomes an ordeal. I am not interested in your views on immunology. I have spent months researching and speaking to medical professionals. I will not bother conveying the information I have learned, since I believe you both will just ignore it. You can believe as you wish, but Grey is our child and we will not take risks when it comes to his health. This disrespect for our views is what greatly delayed your invitation out here, for which I pushed for. This is the truth. You can get defensive about it or you can learn from it, so that you will be more readily included in the future.
What we decide for Grey has NOTHING to do with you both. I will reiterate that I find exasperating that we have to waste our energy explaining why we are not trying to insult you both. Did you ever think that your questioning of how we are choosing to raise Grey is equally, if not more, insulting? Our choices when it comes to Grey are NOT personal attacks against you both. I am annoyed that they some how get turned around to appear that way in your all's eyes. Stop making it about you all the time. This is solely to do with Grey and us.
MIL reply:
We are not used to be spoken to in such a strong manner. We do take it as greatly disrespectful to us as Masons' parents. I've never been so totally dismissed. I have not always agreed with Jean Faye or Norman but was would never have spoken to them in the way you speak to me. There was one time when Jean Faye really over stepped the boundary dealing with our choice for our boys and it was REALLY a problem for Patrick and I. However, we held our tongues our of respect. We did not take their advice or input. To this day, she does not know how it hurt and never will. It would have served no purpose. We just put it behind us and carried on. I love her and respect her more and more as the years have passed. We haven't always seen eye to eye but really who does? Right?
My response:
I make no apologies on my strong manner of communication. That is your choice to take it disrespectfully, as that was not at all my intention. You get no special standing as Mason's parents. We are all adults. Period. I know about the Faye Faye situation, and that was your choice on how you handled it. Just because you both chose to behave in a certain way does NOT mean I need to. I held my bloody tongue for almost 3 years now. I will no longer do so and again, make no apologies for my decision. To ask me to be phony to meet your idea of respect would ensure estrangement. I don't agree with not sharing hurt or anger. In my opinion, it only leeds to bottling up of feelings. I am open and blunt with my own parents. My mom knows to not give unsolicited advice and that I am an adult. You told me that you need to tell Patrick to communicate with his mother. I don't think you want the same for your son and you, and currently that is what you have. Resentments build in an atmosphere of secrets and hidden feelings. You are entitled to your opinion on this matter and I mine.
I can't offer much advice on toy boxes. Bay has a few toys and some soft books I keep in a wicker basket. My mom uses a big Rubbermaid tub with lid for the grand kids toys at her house. Doesn't look fancy but its functional. 
my periods are very screwy since I had B. I had a 39 day cycle after my first pp AF. Curious to see how this next cycle goes. I'm still BFing though so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I noticed less cramps during this last period too 
she only cries for 5 mins and then she's out like a light. I do stay close and I'll say 'shhhhh' or offer her a paci after a couple mins but that often makes it worse and she is able to self soothe herself to sleep. She woke up from a nap screaming yesterday and I went in and comforted her and shhh'd and then I had to just leave and lo and behold, she fell back asleep after about 4 mins of crying. I know it's for her own good because she's much happier if she gets good rest but its hard trying to teach her to self soothe and hard to force myself to stay put and not run in there to soothe her! It honestly takes longer for her to fall asleep now if she knows I'm there. She actually cries longer and screams harder if she sees me/hears me.
Two women so deserving of their rainbows are finally having their dream come true. It's wonderful, isn't it?
