Mums of 2.

[karlilay]

Right iv been wanting to ask for a while but dont know really how to word what i want to say.

Do you feel 'differently' about your kids. I love my kids equally. I dont love one more than the other they both make up my world. But i am just so fussy with Madi and not at all with Zach and wonder if people are picking up on it, or judging me.

Like for example, if she gets ill, i worry myself sick, i panic. When she is upset, i get upset like, i feel how upset she is. She keeps doing this whole 'trying her hardest not to cry' thing, and i can see her lip going and she just bursts into tears. My heart bursts for her.

But with Zach, when he is poorly, i dont get the same panicky feeling, i feel calm, like, i kinda know what im doing with him. And when he cries, i just shhh him and kiss and cuddle him and hes fine and were happy. I dont get the same paranoid feeling in my tummy that he is really upset about something.

Am i the only one like this?

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

Not there yet but I feel identically about Ruby as you do about Madi and I have a hard time imagining that I would feel the same about my second. Interested in the replies!

 

[Baby France]

No. I am exactly the same. I love them both completely equally and they both have such amazing, beautiful little characters but I am much more protective of DD than DS.

I'm not sure if its more because she is a girl though and know that its just different but. I'm the same, I worry more when she's ill (when she had chicken pox at 3 months old she was really ill with it and was hospitalised) so I think that I always worry that she's not got that 'strength' that DS has. (if that makes sense, she is more of a fighter though )

 

[Baby France]

I think too though, that you are much more relaxed about your second baby that your first.

First time round everything is a new experience and when they're teething its a whole new world. Second time round you tend to notice the signs a bit better too and feel a little bit more in control. (If that makes sense)

 

[_Vicky_]

Welll I have two boys born at the same time and feel totally different - they have different needs and need me to react differently to them. I think that's all it is tbh although I do think I would be more protective of a girl xxx

 

[hardworknmama]

- they have different needs and need me to react differently to them.

I agree with this. You respond differently to your kids because they are different. I react differently to Tiarnan than I do to Cormac as he is much more overdramatic than his little brother is. I don't think (or at least I hope) that anyone is judging you. In fact I'd like to think that they figure you know your child and are doing what's best for them. Try not to let it get to you, you're doing great!

 

[smelly07]

I have two daughters and love them equally and feel the same about them when ill etc.protective/worry equally about them both.......i think im more tactile hugs/kisses with my youngest but i was also like that with my eldest when she was younger if you get what i mean.... i guess i have never been different with either and dont favour or love one more than the other but they both have different personalities and respond differntly to different emotions iykwim........but i think for me its mainly an age appropriate type difference....not a difference in the way i feel about the girls............(Sorry if that confusing lol)

mum2b_claire: i felt like that expecting my second, my eldest was my world and could not imagine loving someone as much, everyone said 'oh you do, it all falls in to place' and you do and it does........it feels like my second has always been here iykwim...... x

 

[karlilay]

Thankyou all. Its so strange to try and put it into words, i do love them both the same. BUt i just feel more protective over her iykwim, and shes the oldest?!

Claire- You will love baby no2 just as much. Promise

 

[smelly07]

Thankyou all. Its so strange to try and put it into words, i do love them both the same. BUt i just feel more protective over her iykwim, and shes the oldest?!

Claire- You will love baby no2 just as much. Promise

maybe it is just a girl/boy thing....like others have said

 

[sarah0108]

i feel the same

i beat myself up about this a LOT

 

[karlilay]

The same way round as me hun? Are you more protective of Harriet?

 

[Blah11]

I think it might be a boy/girl thing maybe. will be interesting if Im the same when this little boy is born

 

[Aunty E]

I do feel differently about them, but not in the sense of loving one less. I probably get more worked up and paranoid about Teddy, although that's partly because we've had to take him to hospital three times already

But he is clingier and needier than Imogen ever was and it's hard not to react to that and be more protective. Mog is so much more robust and independent.