My Life is in CAOS and I HAVE to go back to Brazil !

[Hotmum]

Ok... It is a looong story but I wont be putting every single detail here
because It will take forever...
First thing, I am getting divorced my husband "cheated" or almost did ( He will never admit, but I know in my heart he did ) for the 3rd time.
This time I got txt msgs on his phone talking to this 16 year old, "planning" on a date ! Yes, that day he did went out, all dressed up, telling me he was going just to a friend's house ( another lie )
and he DID meet her, but he swears that nothing happened, well, on the messages he was reaaaally going out to "make out" with her and even if he didn't do it, planning to "make out" with a 16 year old is enough for me !
1st time was a bachelor party ps: with his ex, second time he was planning to travel to meet another woman, now trying to "make out" with a 16 year old?

Im good ! I love him, but enough is enough !
He doesn't even respect the fact that we just had a preemie and I suffered 4 weeks in bedrest and another 6 in the hospital taking care of HIS daughter!
I am home all day, cooking, cleaning and doing whatever I can to make him happy and that's what i get in return? OK ! Anyways, I already started the paper work and it wont take too long.
Now, I have 2 kids and I will be single .... My mom and dad is from Brazil and she left USA couple years ago and can't return because of her expired visa. Now with 2 kids I can't really afford them on my own, plus, baby sitter, I will have to find a new job since I left my when I was on bedrest.
My EX husband will pay child support, but even with that I can't afford a
day care, baby sitter, work, food, housing, bills all on my own here, and after couple years with the same issue I dont think my husband is going to change his behavior.
I am really considering going to Brazil, my dad is a politician there, also have a english school and a newspaper company, so financially speaking I will have a great support, He told me he can get a job for me and he can rent a apt, or I can live in his house ( have 2 extra rooms so my babies won't be a problem), I can go back to school and finish my college there, I will work with him and my mom doesn't work anymore so she can take care of my babies.
I think it is the BEST way to continue my life without struggle. My ex husband can visit us, and he told me its ok to bring the children with me (of corse, he will be free to "make out" with any other woman without the kids)
Anyways, I don't have much "left" here, I just have to pack and go, since my 2 kids already have all the documents to fly ( I applied for my daughter passport 1 month ago) and my son already have his.
I am going to the brazilian consulate monday get a letter to travel with them.

Now, my daughter is 4 months, already have all the 4 months shots, she is 12 pounds =D and acting just in between her ajusted and actual age. She is a 32 weeker and she will have a good pediatrician in Brazil too.
I called the pediatrician, and left a message last week, I will call again monday to make sure she is ok to fly by the end of september...

But I heard horrible thing about infants travelling at this age ! And she is a preemie, so IDK... I don't know what to do at this point ! I just want to continue my life without this drama, but I am really afraid of harming her =(


What you think?

 

[Hotmum]

nobody? =(((

 

[25weeker]

sorry to hear your husband cheated on you.

Providing your lo doesn't have any lung problems like chronic lung disease then I think she should be ok to fly. I think you will just have to take your doctors advice.

I hope you get to go home as it sounds like it will be the best option for you and your children.

Good luck xx

 

[Hotmum]

thank you honey =(

I cant wait to get home, =(

i am really sad, mad, confused...

but I just want the best for me and my children...

still hurting, but life goes on and doesnt stop for anybody =(

thank u!

 

[PleaseBaby]

I dont really know about weter she'l be able to fly but in my mind I dont see why she couldnt as long as she has no breathing problems? I hope the paed says she can go, it sounds like yu ill ahve a good life back home. You deserve better than your scumbag husband. What sort of a man does that after all the stress youve just been through. I'm sorry hun x

 

[AP]

massive hugs hun. it is truely unbelievable what men are capable of.
if going to brazil feels right for you, go for it sweets. you and your girls deserve the best and if making a new start in brazil is there for you, grab it by both hands. you sound very prepared. xxxx

 

[Hotmum]

thank you girls =(

pleasebaby- Yes I still dont get why he would do that, I am like, devasted, my whole life is just falling apart and I need to hold still, hug my babies and be strong...
I really hope the pedy says OK, if not, IDK, I guess I will have to wait, but fingers crossed right?

Sandy- Thank you sweetheart you were a wonderful support since my crazy pregnancy till now, I am truly thankful ! I just want start fresh, forget the past and move on =)

I wish nothing of this happened, but even my mom said : "better to know now what kind of husband you have, than in 10 years, because in 10 years you will regret everything"
and she is right !

Oh, well... Im gonna dry my tears and try to think positive

 

[AuntBug]

so sorry Hun. I can't imagine going through divorce right after having a baby, but you'll get through. Sounds like you know what path is right for you.

 

[Agiboma]

sounds like Brazil is the best place for you and your kids, wish you all the best hun

 

[vermeil]

wow.... *huuuuge hug* what a complete jerk! You know what is best for your children and yourself - from your description it does sound you'll be better off in Brazil, for no other reason than to be surrounded by people who care about you. And you will have the support to rebuild your life there. Obviously it's your choice. Do make sure he doesn't snake out of his responsibilities!

We talked a few times and you were always so encouraging and positive to myself and the others here. Wishing you the same good energy back in your own life. Keep us up to date!

 

[katy1310]

Sending you big hugs

I'm so sorry your husband is putting you through all of this. It does sound as if you are doing the right thing though.

We are all here for you if you need support. xxxx

 

[kelly6407]

Hugs hun
That is horrible wot he's done to u, i don't understand people who cheat it's so wrong.
But I do think brazil is Ur best option, having Ur family there and looking after u and the kids will make the start of Ur new life easier. Think stating with Ur parents until Ur adjusted and coping will be great then u can always take the next step from there, like getting Ur own place etc


Good luck hun