I found out I was pregnant on June 26th, after seeing the positive result on the pregnancy test I immediately made an appointment with the Dr. to confirm the pregnancy as I was having brown spotting. Got into the Dr.s the next day and they confirmed I was in fact pregnant and that the brown spotting was nothing to worry about as brown blood usually means old blood and that it was most likely due to the egg implanting. They did a trans vaginal ultrasound that day and told me I was about 4 weeks along, on the ultrasound all you could see was the sac. Leaving the Dr.s office I was thrilled, scared, and relieved that the bleeding was nothing to be concerned about. Between June 26th and August 7th I had three more appointments, with an ultrasound done on July 18th showing the baby`s heartbeat was strong at 158 bpm, hearing the heartbeat I got tears in my eyes and was overcome with joy, it was the first sign of the living breathing angel inside of me. We left that day with pictures and of course showed everyone we knew the pictures of my baby which my sisters lovingly named my bean. August 7th I went in for a routine check up and everything was normal. Then the night of August 10th I started spotting again, dark brown blood so I wasn`t too concerned and went about the night normally. Saturday I woke up and the spotting was gone but back by mid day. and Saturday night the cramps started, light but noticeable. Sunday I woke up to light bleeding and slightly worse cramping, so I took it easy on Sunday and first thing Monday morning I called my Dr. and She told me to rest and if it got any heavier to give her a call. Tuesday morning I was having terrible cramps and bleeding like a light period. I called the Dr. and they had me come in 2 hours later. When I got there they took me into the examining room and she checked to see if my cervix was dilated and said it was normal and that that was a good sign, she also said she could see no blood oozing from the cervix, but to be safe she wanted to do an ultrasound. We Got moved to the ultrasound room and as soon as the tech found the baby I knew something was wrong as I could no longer see the heart beating. I panicked and felt sick and she told me to hold my breath so she could listen for the heartbeat. She did that twice and confirmed that the baby had passed. My boyfriend and I immediately lost it, she left and gave us a moment. When I gathered myself she came back led me back to the examination room where the Dr. talked me through a natural miscarriage and passing the baby at home. She explained the process and apologized for my loss and then we went home. My emotional state all day was a complete wreck and hearing the words everything happens for a reason, this is natures way of taking care of something that is wrong did not help one bit. There was no physical pain besides some slight cramping until I was jarred out of a dead sleep at around 1 am with the most horrible stomach pain I have ever experienced in my life. I got up and walked straight to the bathroom and passed small blood clots and there was heavy bleeding. Between 1:15 and 3:30 a.m. I was having the most painful contractions that were taking my breath away, they started at 3-4 minutes apart and gradually got closer together (about 30 seconds- 45 seconds apart) with heavy bleeding and golf ball sized blood clots being passed. At around 3:35 a.m. I felt a huge gush of water come out, I rushed to the bathroom and sat down the cramping at this point was unbearable and making me light headed finally my body naturally pushed and I felt another gush and immediate relief from the cramps followed, I stood up and looked into the toilet and I had passed my baby. No blood clot, no uterus, no blood, just my baby laying there in the toilet I fell to my knees and started weeping, my whole body started to shake and then another cramp in my stomach came. I walked to the bedroom to get my boyfriend out of bed and as soon as I seen him I couldn`t speak I just fell into his arms and sobbed harder than I ever have in my whole life. I grabbed his hand, led him to the bathroom and he looked in the toilet and began to cry, seeing the baby again sent me into complete panic mode as this time I could see his hands, feet, eyes, and umbilical cord. I sat there next to the toilet for what seemed like half an hour with thoughts just flooding my mind. Do I pick the baby up? Can this really be my baby just laying in this toilet with no blood, no placenta, nothing at all? Why me? and everything else imaginable. Finally I stood up, closed the lid, and flushed it. I decided against touching the baby at all because emotionally I couldn`t have handled it. From 3:40 to 6 am I basically spent that whole time in the bathroom passing baseball sized blood clots and having contractions every 1-3 minutes. At around 6:15 I finally fell asleep as the contractions let up. Wednesday was an emotionally trying day but physically there was a dull constant pain in my stomach and occasionally I was just having slight cramping like you do during menstruation, with constant heavy bleeding and the most awful smell. Those same symptoms have been consistent for the past 5 days since that night, today the cramping got very bad again and I walked into the bathroom sat down and felt what seemed to be a huge blood clot come out, I stood up and looked into the toilet and there was the placenta. Since I have passed that about 3 hours ago to now I`ve had inconsistent cramping, with a consistent feeling of nausea. Hoping this lets up soon and that I am at the end of this horrific experience.
This was one of the most heartbreaking things to happen to me and I know that many other women out there who have gone through it would agree. I hope my story helps women who are/will go through this to know a little bit of whats to come, and although there is no preparing for it, take solace in the fact that you are not alone. My prayers go out to anyone who has gone through this or is going through it right now. Thank you for taking the time to read my experience Good luck to all of you, my prayers and thoughts are with you.
This was one of the most heartbreaking things to happen to me and I know that many other women out there who have gone through it would agree. I hope my story helps women who are/will go through this to know a little bit of whats to come, and although there is no preparing for it, take solace in the fact that you are not alone. My prayers go out to anyone who has gone through this or is going through it right now. Thank you for taking the time to read my experience Good luck to all of you, my prayers and thoughts are with you.
i went upstairs and asked my husband if that real or am i hallucinting since it was my first pregnancy i havent seen a BFP on my own hpt before. my husband was in shock and thought i am putting a prank on him. and then after a couple of minutes it sank in and we are over the moon. we have done another hpt the next morning and it says im 2-3 weeks pregnant.
thats when it sink in me that my little angel has left me and im never gonna see her again. 
xx
