moomoo
Mumma to 2 & 1 in heaven!
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Hi all, i thought it would be good for me (and you guys if you feel you can) to write on here your story about your miscarriages/losses. I dont want to glorify what happened at all, but i feel as though by sharing my story i might be able to help someone. Please add your stories.
When everything started to happen i was 10 weeks 6 days. It was a friday, i was just about to get in the bath when i noticed some brown blood in my underwear. I didnt think too much of it and decided to wait until the morning before calling NHS direct. By the morning there was more brown blood so i called. They told me to get some rest and relax and if there was any red blood or pain to call them back. All through the saturday i had no bleeding whatsoever so i thought that was it.
When i woke up on sunday morning the bleeding had got heavier, it was red and i was passing lots of tiny little clots..but the bleeding wasnt heavy at all. I decided it would be best if i popped to the out of hours GP at the hospital. He told me that as my bleeding was not heavy that everything was fine, but scheduled me an early scan for the following wednesday.
All through monday was the same, but during the night i started to get a colicy type pain..it felt as though i had a bit of a dodgy tummy, it was uncumfy but i managed to get a bit of sleep.
I woke up on tuesday still getting this pain, was more like bad period pains and was coming in waves. By 1 o clock the pain was getting pretty bad, so i thought i would have a bath to see if it would ease it. I had got in the bath and the pain was so bad i could hardly get out..i was breathing through each contraction, and with each one more blood would come out. I managed to get out of the bath, dried myself and layed on the floor. I couldnt even stand up the pain was so bad so i rung NHS direct again. They sent an ambulance for me as i could hardly speak. The contractions were coming 30 seconds apart and each one lasting for about 90secs. The pain felt as though someone was pulling out my insides. By the time i got to the hospital they gave me some gas and air.
After about a further 3 hours on the gas and air the contractions subsided, and i was in no pain whatsoever!! The doctor examined me and said "oh if you are having a m/c then at least you can try again" I can remember thinking no one was telling me what was going on. All i wanted to know was if my baby was okay. They also refused to scan me until the weds.
On the wednesday i went to the scan. I think i knew deep down after all the pain and blood there would be nothing there. They told me that the baby measured 7 weeks and there was no heartbeat. We were then sent to the gyne ward where i was examined and she pulled away tissue from my cervix. I can remember thinking to myself "was that the baby?"
A week later i went for the second scan and got the all clear. It was a relief but at the same time it was sad. I kinda thought they would be wrong and up would pop a healthy heartbeat.
In hindsight i had an orangey discharge for a week or so before the m/c. I dont know if it had anything to do with the m/c but thought i would mention it.
We decided to start trying as soon as i stopped bleeding. Although im pretty sure i didnt ovulate that cycle at all. When my period arrived i felt absolutely gutted.. i found i was more upset and emotional now than when the m/c had happened.
To this day i still think about my baby every hour, nearly every thought is ocuppied about "what i would be doing/eating/saying if i was still pregnant" I also think i grieve more of where i should be in my pregnancy, than for the actual process of m/c. I also appreciate that when i need to cry, i cry...when i need to get angry i do. Otherwise it would just eat me up inside.
I hope this stories, and yours if you add them will help someone.
xx
When everything started to happen i was 10 weeks 6 days. It was a friday, i was just about to get in the bath when i noticed some brown blood in my underwear. I didnt think too much of it and decided to wait until the morning before calling NHS direct. By the morning there was more brown blood so i called. They told me to get some rest and relax and if there was any red blood or pain to call them back. All through the saturday i had no bleeding whatsoever so i thought that was it.
When i woke up on sunday morning the bleeding had got heavier, it was red and i was passing lots of tiny little clots..but the bleeding wasnt heavy at all. I decided it would be best if i popped to the out of hours GP at the hospital. He told me that as my bleeding was not heavy that everything was fine, but scheduled me an early scan for the following wednesday.
All through monday was the same, but during the night i started to get a colicy type pain..it felt as though i had a bit of a dodgy tummy, it was uncumfy but i managed to get a bit of sleep.
I woke up on tuesday still getting this pain, was more like bad period pains and was coming in waves. By 1 o clock the pain was getting pretty bad, so i thought i would have a bath to see if it would ease it. I had got in the bath and the pain was so bad i could hardly get out..i was breathing through each contraction, and with each one more blood would come out. I managed to get out of the bath, dried myself and layed on the floor. I couldnt even stand up the pain was so bad so i rung NHS direct again. They sent an ambulance for me as i could hardly speak. The contractions were coming 30 seconds apart and each one lasting for about 90secs. The pain felt as though someone was pulling out my insides. By the time i got to the hospital they gave me some gas and air.
After about a further 3 hours on the gas and air the contractions subsided, and i was in no pain whatsoever!! The doctor examined me and said "oh if you are having a m/c then at least you can try again" I can remember thinking no one was telling me what was going on. All i wanted to know was if my baby was okay. They also refused to scan me until the weds.
On the wednesday i went to the scan. I think i knew deep down after all the pain and blood there would be nothing there. They told me that the baby measured 7 weeks and there was no heartbeat. We were then sent to the gyne ward where i was examined and she pulled away tissue from my cervix. I can remember thinking to myself "was that the baby?"
A week later i went for the second scan and got the all clear. It was a relief but at the same time it was sad. I kinda thought they would be wrong and up would pop a healthy heartbeat.
In hindsight i had an orangey discharge for a week or so before the m/c. I dont know if it had anything to do with the m/c but thought i would mention it.
We decided to start trying as soon as i stopped bleeding. Although im pretty sure i didnt ovulate that cycle at all. When my period arrived i felt absolutely gutted.. i found i was more upset and emotional now than when the m/c had happened.
To this day i still think about my baby every hour, nearly every thought is ocuppied about "what i would be doing/eating/saying if i was still pregnant" I also think i grieve more of where i should be in my pregnancy, than for the actual process of m/c. I also appreciate that when i need to cry, i cry...when i need to get angry i do. Otherwise it would just eat me up inside.
I hope this stories, and yours if you add them will help someone.
xx