My OH is at it again!!

[Pielette]

So I got a reply, my ex OH says he was searching for his mate!! WTH?! if he is caught why not just admit to it! He says I shouldnt be searching through his stuff any way and that IT IS MY HORMONES!! grr this is making my blood boil!! I think I am so through with this dick!!

Surely him arranging to have sex with women is in black and white and how can that even be confused with searching for his mate?

What Atomic said!

Do the messages say, 'my mate/he will meet you here at 10am'?

Plus I think the friend is more than capable of organising his own sex life The fact that your OH has done it before smacks of making up excuses. And before you saw these messages, what was he supposed to be doing when you and DD were off elsewhere?

 

[Pielette]

Oh, and his reponse to you seeing these messages should not be that you're hormonal and paranoid! How dare he!

 

[Whatme]

It's better for your children to grow up with a happy mummy, then two parents that hate each other, he can still be a good dad, but it'll be a part time one! More fool him, the idiot will see sense one day, and it'll be too late, hope you find the courage to leave him, your prince charming is out there some where
Onwards and upwards! Xx

 

[Tami]

There comes a time when there is no alternative other than to walk away from a relationship and unfortunately for me this would be it!

My partner now is amazing and I love him to bits, but my last ex was the complete opposite, a violent tempered idiot, and it took me 4 years to leave him because he made me feel like his behaviour was my fault, or would take the emotional blackmail route and threaten to kill himself, in the end I just packed up my stuff and left, it was hard but I am so much better off for it now!

At the end of the day what's best for your kids is NOT their dad skulking off behind your back and meeting strange women for sex. As much as I hate to say this I think it would be best to arrange for sexually transmitted disease tests to be done hun, just in case. It's better safe than sorry during pregnancy, that's for sure!

I'm sorry you're going through this alone, are there any family members or friends within driving distance who could come stay with you for a couple of nights in case he tries to come home? That way you'll avoid a confrontation hopefully.

Stay strong and don't let him push his way back in if you really want him gone, none of this is your fault and he shouldn't be trying to weasle his way out of it by blaming you. Sure people can be more hormonal during pregnancy, but it's not like you're imagining the sex, that's all down to him! Ugh, what a jerk.

 

[cupcakekate]

I am so sorry he has done this to you

Stay strong, you've definately done the right thing kicking him out. x

 

[xforuiholdonx]

 

[lewood88]

What a prick, men like that make me fuckinh sick,he reminds me of my ex u kno he was a complete arse got a girl pregnant behind my bk and was haveing a complete seperatr life with her and when it all came out the daft bitch stayed with him, and as for saying ur paranoid well derrr if he tried 2 shag sum1 else in the past what was he thinking that u trust him ???? Hun ur better off with out hun kick that loser to the curb

 

[Louloubelle78]

WHAT A COMPLETE F**KING DICK!!!!!

I am so angry for you right now! For him to blame it on your hormones when he was blatantly caught red handed, and also to say you shouldn't be going through his stuff when he was so dumb to leave it to be found, is bang out of order.

I echo what other posters have have said: you can do so much better being on your own, happy without having to deal with a shit like that. He has done it before, and is doing it again now whilst you are pregnant. It's unforgivable to cheat even when you are not pregnant!

Please don't let this douche worm his way back into your life. You deserve so much more love and respect x

 

[Hope41more]

Ah hun I know this must be so hard on you. I have been there, my ex husband was a lying, cheating swine!!! Honestly I know the pain you are feeling. There was no facebook back then (12yrs ago) but I caught him upto so much inc using my bank card to buy a contact mag (pictures of naked or half naked girls wanting no strings sex in our local area!!!) Before that he ran up the phone bill while I was in hospital having our 3rd daughter ringing sex lines!!! Honestly he came out with some corkers too- sex mag = was the star trek triology and sex lines= claiming prizes from those free scratch cards you get in papers (reason calls were so expensive) but with research I caught the lier out!!! Eventually I had girls turn up at my door telling me about their affair with him etc. I eventually had to give up on my marriage it was heart breaking but you can't live like this forever. These men don't change, I stuck around too long- 5yrs I wasted on that man.
Hun I know the pain and how sick I felt when I saw the pictures of the naked women and what they were offering. I went to his work and caused a big scene, his clothes were put in a bag and put in the street.
Oh and please don't compare yourself to these women. I spent years after thinking what is wrong with me (I could slap myself now I was young, slim and pretty and he made me feel worthless) Honestly your not the problem he is these men don't change (he tried to sleep with me yrs ago behind his now wifes back!!) Sounds like he gets off on the thrill of someone new, something daring. I struggled to get my divorce as I believe he would never have left me he wanted his cake and eat it. Security of a wife, kids and a home and his women ie 'thrills' on the side.
* I agree with another poster go get STI tested I did *
We are here for you hun but please whatever you decide DO NOT let this man put this on you, your pregnancy, your hormones!!! Like to see the rage he would be in if roles were reversed!!!

 

[TrixieLox]

OMG, really feel for you! You've done the right thing, leaving him. I'd leave my OH even if he had a drunken non-premeditated fumble in the pub, especially while I'm pregnant, there'd be no second chance for him! But then I'm a stickler for these things having seen my dad cheat again and again on my mum when I was a kid.

You're better off out now! You sound strong and fabulous, well done. xx

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

Latest update, he says to pack him a bag and leave it in the garage for when he gets home and he isnt interested in fighting for the relationship and doesnt want to be involved in the childrens lives as they ''are not his anyway!!'' Im so hurt right now and just want to curl into a ball, okay he doesnt want me but what has HIS children done on him?! I dont know how Im going to get over this w**ker!!

 

[Rachie004]

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I want to suggest mediation, therapy etc but the barsteward doesn't deserve anything from you! I can't believe his attitude to you but which planet is he on to say the children aren't his? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS MAN? I'm so furious for you! Don't pack a bag, throw them out the window like someone else said so he can crawl around picking them up like the insect that he is!

Massive hugs, thinking of you xxxx

 

[lewood88]

Hey aint a man hes an imature little boy! CSA his ass hes got to pay for HIS children!

 

[Mum2BKW]

Latest update, he says to pack him a bag and leave it in the garage for when he gets home and he isnt interested in fighting for the relationship and doesnt want to be involved in the childrens lives as they ''are not his anyway!!'' Im so hurt right now and just want to curl into a ball, okay he doesnt want me but what has HIS children done on him?! I dont know how Im going to get over this w**ker!!

This just shows how immature he is, he's just saying something that he knows will hurt you. I'm sure he doesn't really believe the children aren't his.

Goes to prove that you're doing the right thing!

I agree with the other posters -chuck his clothes out the window, he can pick the up and pack them himself.

 

[Hope41more]

Ah hun I wish I was there to support you. Do you have anyone close by you can contact for support? Do you have a good relationship with his parents? Did you keep his facebook open? I would ask his mam or parents to come round and see exactly what their son is like before he twists things to them and everyone else and blames you- Oh your paranoid and your hormones!!! Oh I'm getting so angry myself right now!!!

 

[Hope41more]

Oh and whether you pack his clothes or throw them in the street I would only pack his OLD grotty stuff and he can go out with his tarts looking a mess!!!
I personally took my OH clothes and dumped them at his work- a packed 200 seater Italian restaurant!!!

Oh and to say the kids aren't his- complete a*se hole!!! He is hurting as he has been caught red handed and is trying to make you feel bad. Like you could feel any worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Mummy_to_be87]

Im so furious, he isnt worth my time or energy and i have printed out the whole conversations for my own proof, he can go stuff himself, im so much better without him, its his loss.

 

[xdxxtx]

I'd take everything of his and throw it out on the lawn. Get the locks changed. Get him out of your life. If he's not interested in being a part of his kids' lives, he doesn't deserve to be. In the future, you will find someone who IS interested in being a father to those kids. Please don't feel like they'd be missing out by not having him. It was his decision to make. You've got a great idea to save the messages you've gotten in case he ever comes after you for custody or anything like that. Also, sometimes you might need them to remind you of why you've let him go.

 

[xsadiex]

I ant beliee he said that about his own kids!? Maybe burning his clothes is a better idea. He deserves NOTHING!

 

[MustBeMummy]

There comes a time when there is no alternative other than to walk away from a relationship and unfortunately for me this would be it!

My partner now is amazing and I love him to bits, but my last ex was the complete opposite, a violent tempered idiot, and it took me 4 years to leave him because he made me feel like his behaviour was my fault, or would take the emotional blackmail route and threaten to kill himself, in the end I just packed up my stuff and left, it was hard but I am so much better off for it now!

At the end of the day what's best for your kids is NOT their dad skulking off behind your back and meeting strange women for sex. As much as I hate to say this I think it would be best to arrange for sexually transmitted disease tests to be done hun, just in case. It's better safe than sorry during pregnancy, that's for sure!
I'm sorry you're going through this alone, are there any family members or friends within driving distance who could come stay with you for a couple of nights in case he tries to come home? That way you'll avoid a confrontation hopefully.

Stay strong and don't let him push his way back in if you really want him gone, none of this is your fault and he shouldn't be trying to weasle his way out of it by blaming you. Sure people can be more hormonal during pregnancy, but it's not like you're imagining the sex, that's all down to him! Ugh, what a jerk.

Very good point. If hes actually already done this you dont know what he may have. God what an absolute prick.