my x is going to apply for custody of my son :-((((((((( long update pg6

[leahsbabybump]

the irrational part of me wants to pack up mine oh and kids stuff and go live somewere they will never be able to come and find us lol

i know i could never and would never do this before you think im nuts or summat lol

 

[leahsbabybump]

i know if x takes me to court and everything gets dragged up again from our past i will get depressed again im just coming out of a low patch and then i mite be deemed an unfit mom for both my kids what then oh or x would never forgive me if were declared legally unfit to care for either of my kiddies (

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

first of all if you dont mine me asking and I really dont mean to be nasty at all, but do you feel you are now ready to have him back home and be a family again, or do you feel you need to do it before his dad tries

I have split from Mias dad about 5 year ago and met Peter 4 year ago and never let him and Mia meet til we had been together a year, and thankfully they got on great, the school that Mia goes to has a rule that only 3 diff people are listed on the rota collect her so there is me, Peter and her after school carer, if any of us can make I need to call the school and tell them someone else is going, could you call the school and make an arrangement like this x

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

i know if x takes me to court and everything gets dragged up again from our past i will get depressed again im just coming out of a low patch and then i mite be deemed an unfit mom for both my kids what then oh or x would never forgive me if were declared legally unfit to care for either of my kiddies (

are you still depressed, are you taking anything, maybe the best thing to do is start with the HV and explain it all and she will send you to the DR for meds if you arent on anything x

 

[leahsbabybump]

^^ yeah absolutly i wish he was hear with me now i love him so much i resent the fact that i got myself into such a state after i eventually left his dad none of this would be happening now if i was a stronger person and fled his violence sooner rather than later as it was later when the damage was done.

you know when i hear outsiders comments its then i know if it ever did get took to court i wouldnt have a leg to stand on me and OH love ds dearly he gets on well with dave (oh). but the smallest of reply with the simplest of paragraphs just show what a mess ive made with my sons life and either way its going to end bad if he comes to me full time he will miss his gp's althogh he has himself said he prefers being with me, if he stops with gp's he going to miss me, if he goes to his dads he will me me and gp's cos i know now (his dad is a foreign national) his dad would love nothing better than to return back to his home country with his son. even when i was with him he used to highly pressure me into taking my son to go live in his home country.

 

[leahsbabybump]

no im not currently been tret for depression i just had a bout of baby blues after bubs was born
it would be having to go through why we split up and what he did to me that would upset me his dad actually locked me in a house and sexually abused me for about 12 hours and straggled me unconcious the last day i saw him before we spilt up that is hoe i ended up so depressed he used to stick notes through my door and txt me saying he was going to burn my house down while i was sleeping after the split.

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

^^ yeah absolutly i wish he was hear with me now i love him so much i resent the fact that i got myself into such a state after i eventually left his dad none of this would be happening now if i was a stronger person and fled his violence sooner rather than later as it was later when the damage was done.

you know when i hear outsiders comments its then i know if it ever did get took to court i wouldnt have a leg to stand on me and OH love ds dearly he gets on well with dave (oh). but the smallest of reply with the simplest of paragraphs just show what a mess ive made with my sons life and either way its going to end bad if he comes to me full time he will miss his gp's althogh he has himself said he prefers being with me, if he stops with gp's he going to miss me, if he goes to his dads he will me me and gp's cos i know now (his dad is a foreign national) his dad would love nothing better than to return back to his home country with his son. even when i was with him he used to highly pressure me into taking my son to go live in his home country.

the fact that you are wanting and trying to get your son back is a HUGE thing I think that you need to go legal for it and you should be able to get legal aid to help pay a solicitor, does your son have a passport x

 

[+tivethoughts]

I don't have any advice hun, just wanted to give you a
You are going through a very tough time and it must be very difficult for you. All those years ago when you reached out for support when you'd hit rock bottom youd expect family to be there for you not to act in this way. I fully understand that they have been caring for your son but surely they were doing it out of love for their great grandson and their grand daughter. To me it seems quite wrong to keep him from you full stop, they should be working with you to get ur son settled back into a home with his family. not working against you.

I feel for you hun, get some advice from hv or cab to see what u can do to get him back. Don't give up Xx

 

[leahsbabybump]

^^ yeah absolutly i wish he was hear with me now i love him so much i resent the fact that i got myself into such a state after i eventually left his dad none of this would be happening now if i was a stronger person and fled his violence sooner rather than later as it was later when the damage was done.

you know when i hear outsiders comments its then i know if it ever did get took to court i wouldnt have a leg to stand on me and OH love ds dearly he gets on well with dave (oh). but the smallest of reply with the simplest of paragraphs just show what a mess ive made with my sons life and either way its going to end bad if he comes to me full time he will miss his gp's althogh he has himself said he prefers being with me, if he stops with gp's he going to miss me, if he goes to his dads he will me me and gp's cos i know now (his dad is a foreign national) his dad would love nothing better than to return back to his home country with his son. even when i was with him he used to highly pressure me into taking my son to go live in his home country.

the fact that you are wanting and trying to get your son back is a HUGE thing I think that you need to go legal for it and you should be able to get legal aid to help pay a solicitor, does your son have a passport x

yes he has a passport but his grandparents have it so seen as they are looking like siding with his dad they would have no issues handing it over there were going to give it him last year to take him home for a "holiday" but he wasnt going to be back on time for school so he didnt end up going

 

[leahsbabybump]

I don't have any advice hun, just wanted to give you a
You are going through a very tough time and it must be very difficult for you. All those years ago when you reached out for support when you'd hit rock bottom youd expect family to be there for you not to act in this way. I fully understand that they have been caring for your son but surely they were doing it out of love for their great grandson and their grand daughter. To me it seems quite wrong to keep him from you full stop, they should be working with you to get ur son settled back into a home with his family. not working against you.

I feel for you hun, get some advice from hv or cab to see what u can do to get him back. Don't give up Xx

this is exactly what i though i was starting to think maybee i was going mad afterall thinking this
i just want my son to get settled back in with us we all love him to bits he loves us he loves coming to visit us and he has said this himself he loves playing with is sister withher toys he loves when i readf to him he loves going on computer and playing footie with oh we just need their support to get him transitioned over hear as easy and as smooth as possible for him its no good for ds arguments court rooms etc etc he is 5 years old we should all be working togeather like you say no against each other
the only thing he has shown about not wanting to come and live back at home cos we do talj about it with him its not a new idea all he has said is "but if i live with you grandad has told me im not allowed to go swimming lessons anymore and i wuld be sad mommy if swimming lessons stopped cos like it" so obvs they have said that to him a 5 year old doesnt make stuff up like that surely

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

^^ yeah absolutly i wish he was hear with me now i love him so much i resent the fact that i got myself into such a state after i eventually left his dad none of this would be happening now if i was a stronger person and fled his violence sooner rather than later as it was later when the damage was done.

you know when i hear outsiders comments its then i know if it ever did get took to court i wouldnt have a leg to stand on me and OH love ds dearly he gets on well with dave (oh). but the smallest of reply with the simplest of paragraphs just show what a mess ive made with my sons life and either way its going to end bad if he comes to me full time he will miss his gp's althogh he has himself said he prefers being with me, if he stops with gp's he going to miss me, if he goes to his dads he will me me and gp's cos i know now (his dad is a foreign national) his dad would love nothing better than to return back to his home country with his son. even when i was with him he used to highly pressure me into taking my son to go live in his home country.

the fact that you are wanting and trying to get your son back is a HUGE thing I think that you need to go legal for it and you should be able to get legal aid to help pay a solicitor, does your son have a passport x

yes he has a passport but his grandparents have it so seen as they are looking like siding with his dad they would have no issues handing it over there were going to give it him last year to take him home for a "holiday" but he wasnt going to be back on time for school so he didnt end up going

well the very first thing I would do is get the passport even if they arent willing to hand over your son, then get an appointment with the HV but you need to do this soon x

 

[leahsbabybump]

x has only wanted custody since :-

1. he met his new partner
2. i started having ds at home more (although hes saying i dont have/care for him)

i just dont get were its cum from really its a bit out the blue how cum he never wanted custody when i wasnt well he was never bothered about him back then

 

[+tivethoughts]

Did u report the abuse hun? If u did, then that'd definitely go against ur ex getting custody Xx

 

[xxClaire_24xx]

x has only wanted custody since :-

1. he met his new partner
2. i started having ds at home more (although hes saying i dont have/care for him)

i just dont get were its cum from really its a bit out the blue how cum he never wanted custody when i wasnt well he was never bothered about him back then

when is the next time you have your DS over, just keep him from then, thats what I would do

 

[bigbetty]

I would contact the school and say that no-one but you can collect him - not even his grandparents - then collect him, take him home and that's that. If they try or threaten to take him off you then tell them you will call the police because it's kidnapping.

It's not like you've had absolutely no involvment in your son's life over the last 5 years. You did what was best for him at the time - you were protecting him from all the horrible things going on in your life at the time, which is what a mother should do.

Your son obviously loves you and it's only right that he should be with you.

Good luck love - I hope everything works out for you xx

 

[stardust599]

I would contact the school and say that no-one but you can collect him - not even his grandparents - then collect him, take him home and that's that. If they try or threaten to take him off you then tell them you will call the police because it's kidnapping.

It's not like you've had absolutely no involvment in your son's life over the last 5 years. You did what was best for him at the time - you were protecting him from all the horrible things going on in your life at the time, which is what a mother should do.

Your son obviously loves you and it's only right that he should be with you.

Good luck love - I hope everything works out for you xx

If you do this hun I just want to say write your grandparents a letter explaining what you've done and you're sorry and that they can still be part of his life etc. but you need to do this or they would never let u take him home.

I feel for you, I was badly depressed after my LO was born - sometimes I wanted to leave her with my Mum or OH and run away and I could be in your situation now.

Good luck xx

 

[bigbetty]

I would contact the school and say that no-one but you can collect him - not even his grandparents - then collect him, take him home and that's that. If they try or threaten to take him off you then tell them you will call the police because it's kidnapping.

It's not like you've had absolutely no involvment in your son's life over the last 5 years. You did what was best for him at the time - you were protecting him from all the horrible things going on in your life at the time, which is what a mother should do.

Your son obviously loves you and it's only right that he should be with you.

Good luck love - I hope everything works out for you xx

If you do this hun I just want to say write your grandparents a letter explaining what you've done and you're sorry and that they can still be part of his life etc. but you need to do this or they would never let u take him home.

I feel for you, I was badly depressed after my LO was born - sometimes I wanted to leave her with my Mum or OH and run away and I could be in your situation now.

Good luck xx

Totally agree with this. It would be unfair to cut your grandparents out of his life completely and hopefully it will all work out for the best on all counts xx

 

[mummy2lola]

PErsonally I would just go round there and get him,if they say no then u phone the police as they are with holding ur son from u which is kidnap,nothing was ever done legally Hun so it's not u that doesn't have a leg to stand on it's them xx

 

[leahsbabybump]

i started to report it had police interview got solicito to sort out visitin rights for him to see his dad and a restraining order for myself but he scared me out of it with more threats then came the false promises about him making it all ok etc etc bare in mind i was 17/18 at the time so believed him stupidly dropped charges and hear we are now lol

to the other posters thats what oh said just pick him up dont let them get an opportunity to get inside his mind with all what i said before and then he said change his school so hes local to us and dont let them pick him up tbh i dont think my gp's would personally drag me through court my grandad not like that although i wouldnt put it past my nan. oh said just let him see his gp's on a sat he goes his dads sunday and let grandad take him swimming if he still wants to if not oh said im sure we can find him somewere local who will do swim lessons

 

[leahsbabybump]

if i let oh sort it out believe me he would walk in thir all guns blazin pick ds up and walk out he would kick any door of its hinge that got in his way so to speak not literally lol but i have to stop him cos like we all say that would be like a smack in mouth to gp's and they have been good to him it would be nice to get it done amicably iykwim

ds and oh do love each other dearly they get on like a house on fire they have similar likes dislikes personality i know its not fare to say on heymans dad but dave (current oh) makes for such a better farther and father figure to look up to ds dad has criminal record length of his body he is well known to police for his violence and driving offences and carrying offensive weapons or so he were 5 years ago or more