my x is going to apply for custody of my son :-((((((((( long update pg6

[TattiesMum]

^^ wss^^ It may be a harsher view, but I feel this is a more realistic one. I'm sorry you are going through this hon, I hope a good resolution is reached for all of you xx

Yeah unfortunately it may seem 'harsh' but I also don't think it is good to give the OP unrealistic expectations like some have. Yes, this forum is very "pro-mom" in many ways and sometimes I see advice being given to women that is completely off-base when compared to the reality of a court. She's made a lot of mistakes and is going to have to prove herself in a way the court will accept.

You can't just leave your child with other people for more than half their life and walk into a court expecting to get them back without proving yourself and that goes way beyond having housing. Way beyond. Housing is the least of your concern. You (OP) are focusing on issues (housing, FOB's possibly non-relevant criminal record) that in a family court are not really going to matter. Other issues are going to be quite relevant (the fact that you have a child and a wedding planned before going to court to get your son back is going to be a huge hurdle for you in court - do not underestimate how badly this reflects on you).

No, she did not sign over legal guardianship, but that doesn't automatically mean you can just take your kids back either. It's a lot more complex than that and she needs a family solicitor to sit down and explain to her what she's going to face in court.

I really do wish the best for you OP which is why I am saying what I am, to prepare you for reality and to get you the best chance possible which will only happen with a lawyer. If you try to do this without a family solicitor you are going to probably get railroaded in court.

I'm afraid that Aliss is right ... as far as the Family Court is concerned the ONLY thing that matters in all this is the welfare of the child.

What the OP wants, what her OH wants, what the ex wants, what the great grandparents want ... none of it matters at all

The courts will see a little boy who has been raised by loving relatives, who is settled and stable - there is very little chance that he is just going to just be returned to his 'rightful owner' like a lost umbrella ... IF it gets so far as a court then they will want to see that the OP has had regular, supportive, contact over a long period of time, that she has helped to provide for her son materially (by clothing him, paying towards his care etc) and that she is concerned about not just uprooting him from the life and people that are all that he knows.

The OP needs to prove that she has her son's best interests at heart ... and that means acknowledging that his great grandparents are, to all intents and purposes, his 'parents' in terms of all he has ever known, and that to just remove him from them would be incredibly cruel and damaging ..... this is a transition which needs to be done slowly and carefully over time.