Need Advice Girls..

[lfc_sarah]

These topics always turn into a bit of a debate dont they..
And im sure nobody wants to offend anybody else

Everybody has an opinion though...

And i think... TRYING to concieve at a young age can be a bit silly..
Before a load of teens get on my back..

Nothing to do with the age completely... but things that come along with the age...
*Not many girls at 16/17 have their own house (or even renting)
* Living with their partner
*Their own money
* Qualifications for a job that will set them up for life (Money wise)
*Been with their partner long enough to think about the strain pregnancy/ having a baby puts onto the even strongest of relationships.

If a young person has all of this an has the right setting to bring a baby into then good luck to you...

For a teen who falls pregnant and it isnt planned...
Does the best job that they can with the situation...
And a lot of them turn out to be really good mums!
So id never judge just the age... its the things associated with the age.. House/job/money.

Of course you can just get pregnant and live of the state for money/ housing..
But wouldnt you want better for yourself/ your child if you could choose..

I found out i was pregnant at 19...
And although i lived with my boyfriend, had good jobs, our own money ect ect...
If i could of waited a few more years, more girly holidays/ going out getting rotten... i would have
Even though i wouldnt change it now

 

[nikky0907]

Good points Sarah...

I just want to add to my earlier post(cause it wasn't long enough ) that whatever girls may think,that having a baby means that you'll be loved and entails all thing woderful:

Children take much more love than they give.

Bringing up a child is the hardest work ever...

 

[darkheaven77]

Than they wouldn't be your kids.

Ok,so I really don't like judging but when a teenage girl,especially below 18(not to mention 17) comes here and says that she wants to start ttc,that is completely not comprehensible to me.

I cannot give this girl advice,I cannot aprove or pretend that I don't see the circumstances of this.

I don't judge teenage moms,they can do such an amazing job with their children,they should be given credit(the good ones of course) but girls who want to be mothers at ages like 16 and create those hard circumstances on their own,I belive that they shouldn't recive approval...

I agree with Alexandra,they're teenagers and we all know that the emotions that we experience at that age are strong and often misleading...

When those girls come on here,do you think their parents know about it?Do you think that their parents know that they have the intention to bring a child into their home,that they will have to help in raising this child?

Not to mention,using the tax payers money as a way to cope.I wouldn't want my money to be used on a girl who decided that she wants this,who created this herself intentionally.
A woman has to be physically,emotionally and financially ready when she decides that she wants this commitment.

And everyone deserves a childhood,I personally belive that a person has a lot of things to see and experience,to find out about a world before deciding that she want to guide another person through theirs.

You haven't lived your life and had your freedom long enough before you gave it up.
Because whatever you say,a child takes your freedom,nothing you do from that point envolves just you.It's not just your life,it's the life of your family now.

and your also a child and u havent had your baby yet so try commenting after you have had your baby no aged person can be guaranteed ready for a baby no matter how old you are

 

[Danielle]

i think the best way is to wait for your period, i waited until i was 1 week late and then did a test and it was pos, because you imagination can run wild when your trying for a baby mine did, but i jus had 2 tell myself just got to wait it was really annoying but its the best way. good luck

 

[sao]

I just want to ask if all the pregnant teens who have posted on here saying they don't agree with planned teen pregnancy would actually agree with any form of teen pregnancy if they themselves were not pregnant?

Just a simple question

 

[nikky0907]

I just want to ask if all the pregnant teens who have posted on here saying they don't agree with planned teen pregnancy would actually agree with any form of teen pregnancy if they themselves were not pregnant?

Just a simple question

I'm not sure if this was directed at me but here's the answer:

I'm a pregnant teen,I don't agree with planned teen pregnancy,as for unplanned teen pregnany,there's nothing here to agree on.It happens to people and thats it.
If a girl wants an abortion,let her,If she wants to keep it,also good.

I thought that before I was pregnant and also now.
I don't judge or disagree with unplanned teen pregnancy.
Although before I was pregnant,pregnancy alone was not something I wanted to go through,especially as a teen and I couldn't understand why people(especially teens) want to got through that.

I'm happy that my little girl will be in my life now though.

and your also a child and u havent had your baby yet so try commenting after you have had your baby no aged person can be guaranteed ready for a baby no matter how old you are

Just because my baby isn't born yet doesn't mean that she isn't in my life.And I have every right to comment.
I have a brain and my own opinion,it doesn't change...

 

[ella170]

if i wasnt pregnant now, i think i would wait for at least 10 years before TTC. when u see a teen with a kid, u dont know whether the baby was planned or not which makes it easier for people to judge, especially as they dont know ur circumstances. before getting pregnant, i never actually thought about teenage pregnancy- its very debatable

 

[masi]

Looking after a baby is difficult at any age. Different people are ready for children at different times. I had my first at 20, the same time my brother and Sil had theirs in their 30's, and our parenting styles aren't really that different.

 

[darkheaven77]

I'm not sure if this was directed at me but here's the answer:

I'm a pregnant teen,I don't agree with planned teen pregnancy,as for unplanned teen pregnany,there's nothing here to agree on.It happens to people and thats it.
If a girl wants an abortion,let her,If she wants to keep it,also good.

I thought that before I was pregnant and also now.
I don't judge or disagree with unplanned teen pregnancy.
Although before I was pregnant,pregnancy alone was not something I wanted to go through,especially as a teen and I couldn't understand why people(especially teens) want to got through that.

I'm happy that my little girl will be in my life now though.




Just because my baby isn't born yet doesn't mean that she isn't in my life.And I have every right to comment.
I have a brain and my own opinion,it doesn't change...

yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret

 

[nikky0907]

yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret

It's sad I didn't use my brain for contaceptive?!

You know.I don't insult anyone on this forum,not even people I disagree with,but you are downright unpleasant and out of order!

I said I didn't plan kids in my life,that doesn't mean that I don't love my baby...I love her and I want her.
Please,don't comment my personal life and insult my opinions on things.

 

[darkheaven77]

It's sad I didn't use my brain for contaceptive?!

You know.I don't insult anyone on this forum,not even people I disagree with,but you are downright unpleasant and out of order!

I said I didn't plan kids in my life,that doesn't mean that I don't love my baby...I love her and I want her.
Please,don't comment my personal life and insult my opinions on things.

well if u can care and love ur baby im sure other younger women can dont you think? and cope just as well

 

[sao]

No it wasn't aimed at you lol.... love it when people think that always amusing like they feel what they said is really that important, it was a general question luv.
and as for theres being nothing to agree on with unplanned teen pregnancy... umm. what about the thousands of people who call teen mothers cheap whores and try and force us to do things like get rid of our babies surely thats a different view to yours meaning that there is situation where people and agree and disagree with it? hmmmm....

And i personally find you making comment on unplanned teen pregnancy being ok as we were stupid enough to get pregnant.

But teens who feel they are ready and have thought about it not right just cause some teens still live at home so they must be living off other people..

i was in my own flat at 16 and in college and earning enough money to look after a child...so if i wanted to TTC i bloody would so maybe find out the facts before judging it each person is unique each situation is different just because you weren't ready or mature enough don't judge everyone by your standards

 

[ella170]

yes u have a brain and have a right to reply shame the latter one wasnt used for contraceptive if you didnt want kids as i said every one is totaly different some more mature than others and my kids would still be my kids even with a diff farther i just didnt know at the time he was into hitting and abusing children thats my only mistake i regret

that was really harsh
what makes u think she didnt use contraceptive?
what if i was to say: tough- u should have known ur kids' father better before having babies with him...that would probably be very hurtful and u wouldnt like the fact that someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u

 

[sao]

ella not to be rude but using a condom and being with an abusive partner can't be compared to eachother at all....

its one of thoses things you really don't comment on until u have been there yourself its a damning situation that ruins peoples lifes.....

You also say "someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u"
isnt that why we are here cuz people make assumptions about a 16 TTC

 

[darkheaven77]

that was really harsh
what makes u think she didnt use contraceptive?
what if i was to say: tough- u should have known ur kids' father better before having babies with him...that would probably be very hurtful and u wouldnt like the fact that someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u

nope its not hurtful to me i except criticism every one has faults and does things wrong life is full of different paths in life and we just have to choose the right ones for us all chat sites are designed for diff ppls opinions and yes ppl can get angry but its called opinions we all have them

 

[nikky0907]

I didn't think that my comments were important,it just seemed like you asked me...I apologize.

And I didn't say mothers who faced unplanned teen pregnancy are stuid enough to get pregnant.My pregnancy was unplanned,it can happen to anyone.I didn't call anybody here stupid.Nor do I find anyone here stupid.

But the whole thing about the planned teen pregnancy is much more then preparation.If they are so convinced that they'll be with that person for the rest of their lives,they can also wait a few years.

You're an entirely different person at 16...

Darkheaven,I don't doubt that they would love their child,I doubt how ready they are.But thats not the point I was making in my post....

 

[ella170]

No it wasn't aimed at you lol.... love it when people think that always amusing like they feel what they said is really that important, it was a general question luv.
and as for theres being nothing to agree on with unplanned teen pregnancy... umm. what about the thousands of people who call teen mothers cheap whores and try and force us to do things like get rid of our babies surely thats a different view to yours meaning that there is situation where people and agree and disagree with it? hmmmm....

And i personally find you making comment on unplanned teen pregnancy being ok as we were stupid enough to get pregnant.

But teens who feel they are ready and have thought about it not right just cause some teens still live at home so they must be living off other people..

i was in my own flat at 16 and in college and earning enough money to look after a child...so if i wanted to TTC i bloody would so maybe find out the facts before judging it each person is unique each situation is different just because you weren't ready or mature enough don't judge everyone by your standards

i bet before getting pregnant u used to sit at home all day thinking about "the thousands of people who call teen mothers cheap whores and try and force us to do things like get rid of our babies" i dont think u read it properly because i said before i got pregnant. yh ive been called a slag for being pregnant, but i just laughed about it because what so slutty about a 17 yr old having sex with her bf who shes been with for 6 months? if u wanna get uptight about it, thats up to u. by the way ur goin on, u aint mature enough either

 

[nikky0907]

nope its not hurtful to me i except criticism every one has faults and does things wrong life is full of different paths in life and we just have to choose the right ones for us all chat sites are designed for diff ppls opinions and yes ppl can get angry but its called opinions we all have them

Yep,but your opinions,like the thing you said to me earlier was hurtful to me.That was an insult.Not opinion.

And I did use contraception...

 

[ella170]

ella not to be rude but using a condom and being with an abusive partner can't be compared to eachother at all....

its one of thoses things you really don't comment on until u have been there yourself its a damning situation that ruins peoples lifes.....

You also say "someone is making assumptions about u when they dont even know u"
isnt that why we are here cuz people make assumptions about a 16 TTC

again, i dont think ur reading into it correctly. i didnt COMPARE the two, i compared the fact that someone is getting involved in someone elses situation

 

[darkheaven77]

I didn't think that my comments were important,it just seemed like you asked me...I apologize.

And I didn't say mothers who faced unplanned teen pregnancy are stuid enough to get pregnant.My pregnancy was unplanned,it can happen to anyone.I didn't call anybody here stupid.Nor do I find anyone here stupid.

But the whole thing about the planned teen pregnancy is much more then preparation.If they are so convinced that they'll be with that person for the rest of their lives,they can also wait a few years.

You're an entirely different person at 16...

Darkheaven,I don't doubt that they would love their child,I doubt how ready they are.But thats not the point I was making in my post....

ok fare does can i just say one thing tho no matter what age you are no relationship is guaranteed to many split up these days ppl change at all diff times in there lives not just as kids but later on in life if every one waited would any one be truly ready to have babies no i dont think so its some thing we never know whats gonna happen but love can go a bloody long and more important than any money