Need some support please

Discussion in 'Second Trimester Losses' started by myangelkate, Nov 14, 2011.

  1. myangelkate

    myangelkate New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2011
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hello ladies...by way of introduction, I am a mother of 2 children - my son is 20 months old and I lost my little girl in July this year, at 21 weeks, after discovering she had a fatal heart condition at her 20 week scan. This has been the most horrific experience I have ever had and wouldnt have gotten through it had I not found a support group for ladies who had gone through the same as me... that group is with another site, but I am here today to ask for some additional support if I may... when my little girl was born, we were told that we would not be allowed to register her birth (still birth) because she was born before 24 weeks. To some people this doesnt cause upset. But for me, this has been terribly distressing. My daughter Kate was alive, she had a heartbeat, she was born, yet somewhere in government, someone has decided that a baby born before 24 weeks cannot and will not be acknowledged in the official records of this country (UK). It is now over 4 months since Kate was born and rather than bothering me less as time passes, it is gradually bothering me more and more. Obviously I will never ever forget Kate, nor will any of her family, but I feel that she and all other Angel babies deserve to have the recognition and acknowledgement that they should get. I have therefore created a petition so that I can fight for Kate and her Angel friends...I need several thousand signatures before government will even read it, so if anyone can sign it, i would be so so grateful. Some of my fellow Angel Mums on the other group have posted the link into their facebook profiles or on Twitter, which more people can then see and re-copy in their own profiles. If anyone can help me in spreading the word and getting these signatures, i would be so so grateful.

    I am so so sorry to all of you for losing what is most precious. The loss of a baby, at any age and for any reason, is quite simply earth shattering and I am sorry that you too have suffered this.

    The forum wont allow me to post the exact link, but if you google this...

    epetitions.direct.gov.uk/petitions/21029

    it will bring up my petition page - its called "Right to register the birth of a pre-term baby (pre 24 weeks)"

    Thank you in advance for reading and for your support. And fingers crossed that I dont get into trouble for posting a link to the petition...

    All my love, Caroline. xxxx
     
  2. amotherslove

    amotherslove MamaToLilyLucyAndLila<3

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2011
    Messages:
    1,486
    Likes Received:
    0
    i'm so sorry this is affecting you so much.. i guess my only question is.. when would you like it changed to? the age i mean.. right to register from conception? i would agree either way.. my baby was a baby from the second she was conceived.. i'm just wondering how you plan to present it to the government. i think this is a wonderful idea. thank you<3
     
  3. amotherslove

    amotherslove MamaToLilyLucyAndLila<3

    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2011
    Messages:
    1,486
    Likes Received:
    0
    i wish i was able to sign.. just realized you are out of my country:( best of luck to you<3
     
  4. mhazzab

    mhazzab Well-Known Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2011
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi Caroline,

    I'm so sorry for the loss of your daughter Kate. I'm glad you have managed to find a support group that works for you, for me, it's this place.

    I'm not entirely sure on the law for stillbirths after 24 weeks - do these babies automatically get registered?

    What I do know, is that my twin daughters were born in June at 23 weeks. My first daughter, Eve, died during birth. My second, Megan, was born alive, and lived for 10 minutes.

    What horrifies me, is that, because Megan was born alive, we had to register her birth and death by law, but because Eve died before she was born, and it was before 24 weeks, we were not able to register her. It's disgusting, isn't it? And the stupidity and unfairness of the law is definately highlighted in my case. As far as the records show for anyone who searches for the rest of time, I only gave birth to one daughter who died. Can you imagine what it felt like to go to register the birth of only one of my twins? When I think about it, it makes me angry and sad all at once.

    Caroline, I will sign your petition, and do what I can to get others to do the same, I completely agree with you that something should be done about this. I'm not really sure that I know what the law should be changed to though- should the 24 weeks be lowered to something else, would there be another cutoff, or are you suggesting it should be from conception? ...but, I do think it needs to be reviewed.

    take care xxx
     
  5. jojo23

    jojo23 mum to 1 angel baby

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2011
    Messages:
    1,617
    Likes Received:
    0
    so sorry about your loss hun and what your doin is so brave!!! im not in the uk unfortunately but i really hope you get all the signatures you need.... Ireland is the same if its not 24+ weeks its still considered a miscarriage which i think is awful. i did however get an angel certificate and lots of lovely things to give to family and friends which gave me some comfort!

    best of luck xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
     
  6. Nikki_d72

    Nikki_d72 Mum to 2 + twin angels

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1,203
    Likes Received:
    0
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for posting here - unfortunately I'm in NZ so can't sign it either. The cutoff here is 20wks, so the hospital had to do some paperwork and register their deaths when I lost my boys. I had to register their births as well and had a choice on whether I got certificates or not. There is further legailty if a child is born alive and lives or breathes for any time - I'm pretty convinced my 2nd twin, Hayden was alive but unable to breathe but the doctors said they couldn't tell and registered them both as stillborn, I think because it was easier for them - less paperwork. Another lady I know was told her son was measuring only 19+5 even though by her accurate dates he was over 20wks, so there seems to be a lot of resistance by the medical people to do the work involved in registering stillbirths. Just something to be aware of when you are campaigning.

    Best of luck to you, good on you.

    Mhairi - I'm so sorry about the ridiculous law and how it affected you, I wasn't aware of that.

    xxx
     
  7. Andypanda6570

    Andypanda6570 3 Boys and an Angel Ava

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2009
    Messages:
    6,139
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am so sorry for your loss. I am in the United States but I will look into that site and I do have a lot of UK friends I will ask to sign. I fully agree with you.
    God bless you and your precious angel Kate.. I love this cause and I am all for it.... XOOXOX:hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
     
  8. DueSeptember

    DueSeptember Mommy 2 My Angel Maya <3

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2011
    Messages:
    1,693
    Likes Received:
    0
  9. myangelkate

    myangelkate New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2011
    Messages:
    2
    Likes Received:
    0
    Thank you all for your words and sharing your stories...and of course for your support...and for those of you who are in different countries but going to mention this to your UK friends, thank you for that too...im trying desperately to get the word spread...i literally need thousands of signatures to get this looked at :o( Lots of love to you all, Caroline xxxxxxxx
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice