New here: NTNP for 3 months, now want to actively try!!

[Ay3923]

We have been NTNP for 3 months and I have been so disappointed every month that I got that bfn. I really want to talk to the DH about actively TTC next month, but I really don't want him to feel tons of pressure... and I am nervous about sex on demand... I don't want him to feel like I am using him lol. Anyone going through this? Ways to actively try without the awkward sex on demand sessions?!

We've been married 7 years and this will be our first. We've waited so that we could finish degrees, start careers etc. I'M DONE WAITING!! Im 27 and he is 30.

I have been tracking ovulation by calendar every month. We usually have had sex 3-4 days prior to ovulation but never 1-2 or on ovulation day. We tend to have sex more on the weekends as our careers and working out every evening leaves us tired... The big O always happens on Wed or Thur blah!

 

[Button#]

I'm considering taking a bit more of an active interest in my fertility as it is taking longer to conceive my 2nd than it did my first due to irregular cycles. I've started by getting some OPKs to give me a better idea of when I ovulate and once I have regulated my cycle I may look at temping and charting.

As far as OH goes I'll just let him know what I'll be doing and try not to bore him with too many details! I think as long as you aren't making sex a chore and keep a bit of spontaneity in your sex life while keeping an eye on when you're most fertile an purposely seducing him on those days then it shouldn't feel like you're just using him.

Oh and we only had sex at the weekends when NTNP our first so it is possible!

 

[Ay3923]

I just ordered wondfo strips from Amazon so I think I'll tell the DH but definitely no sex written in on the schedule. Just a little more seduction on those fertile days should do it! He's not stupid so I am sure he'll figure it out lol. Thanks for the reply. Hopefully we'll be luck during the love month (Feb). Will update!

 

[BumpySomeday]

Well you can't really go wrong with trying to bd 1-2 days before and on ovulation days! He won't know when those are anyway so there's less pressure for him...

And I know women may frown on this sometimes (?) & I don't know if you ever drink- but maybe just have a glass of wine if you're feeling too pressured.. I mean just to help you relax a little and go with the flow you know. Idk if that's the wrong way to look at it but if you're ready.. there's only a small chance of getting pg each month so... that's what I would do.

 

[stellacane]

Hi! I'm kinda in the same position. We're ntnp no.2 and dh most certainly is more relaxed than me. I would temp, opks, time sex but he reckons 'it'll happen when it's meant to'. We shouldn't mess with Mother Nature. Great. Fab attitude. Except I'm impatient and want some control! I'm pretty sure I'm ovulating soon and he's resisting my best efforts (granted he's on crappy night shifts), which I'm finding frustrating!!

I guess we ladies maybe feel the urge more! Baby dust to all!

Oh, and definitely agree with a wee glass of wine to relax! Xx

 

[stellacane]

Button, I hope you don't mind me asking but I noticed your breastfeeding ticker (well done!) and wondered if you had irregular cycles before conceiving? I'm still breast feeding my 10 month old and what was once a regular cycle is now mega erratic! I wonder if I'm even ovulating sometimes!

 

[Button#]

Button, I hope you don't mind me asking but I noticed your breastfeeding ticker (well done!) and wondered if you had irregular cycles before conceiving? I'm still breast feeding my 10 month old and what was once a regular cycle is now mega erratic! I wonder if I'm even ovulating sometimes!

I had long cycles before conceiving number 1 as prior to that I was running 3 packs of pill together so would have 9 weeks between AF.

My dr doesn't think my irregular cycles now are due to breastfeeding, turns out I have a cervical abrasion and she's organised an ultrasound to check if there's anything else going on.

I didn't get AF back until LO was 18 months and I was only BFing once a day at that age, whereas at 10 months I was still BFing 4 times a day plus night feeds so I imagine that might have had more effect if I'd had AF then. I got some cheap OPKs just to see if I was ovulating and I've had a positive.