Oh no
I'm sorry to hear that you guys got into another fight.
Well, I won't lie: I'm still hoping that we get pregnant on our own and we won't need to keep that appointment with the fertility specialist. But I am not as afraid as I once was a few months ago. If you asked me in December or January, you woulda heard "HELL NO! Are you crazy?? I don't need that. I wanna continue trying on my own!" To me, it felt like failure to have to go to the fertility clinic; like we failed as men and women. But I realize that no, we can't think like that because that's not true. Sure it may seem like others just have sex once and they're pregs, but we don't know what they had to go through to get there, or even if their ttc length is what they tell us it is. You know what I'm saying? I think going to seek extra help for getting pregnant is a great idea, and even better to do so sooner than later because a) you will find out if you truly can't conceive on your own, and b) that getting help to make that baby of yours is easier than you originally thought. So don't trash the idea of doing IVF just yet. At least go and check it out -- even if you go to consult a US doc first. You'll get the answers that you probably need to feel better about this fertility option. I would also research that European doctor myself and see whether he's legit or not. I know it would give me peace of mind.
Also, if you haven't already done so, tell DH exactly, word for word, why you feel the way you do. Say something like, "i'd feel like I/we have failed if we went to do IVF" or "Going to do IVF will feel to me like we are throwing in the towel". Whatever the reason is. He might be more understanding than you think if you lay it out clearly. Men seem to like things clear and concise. Also mention that, although you feel a little apprehensive (for the reasons, or others, stated above) that you are willing to explore the fertility clinic/IVF option with him. Sometimes I find that if I disagree with my DH, I offer to try it his way so that he feels like I am taking his concerns seriously, even if I just do it one time. And if we're both headstrong, then we work out a compromise -- e.g. I don't want to go to IVF but you do, so let's go and check it out and see what the doc says. If he says this is our best option, we can try one or two cycles and then I'm out. That way, you get to try what you want, and I don't have to do it for too long."
I hope this helps. And I hope you two can reach a compromise that's satisfactory to the both of you. I want you both to feel good about your decision together because it's very important to hold each other up during your time TTC
