Newly pregnant, single and scared stiff

[dolly28]

I just wondered if there is anyone out there that can wave a magic wand and make all fears and tears go away???

Recently found out I was pregnant and at first I was over the moon, always said I wanted another one, but I would have to be in a relationship that was strong and settled, and boy did I think I was.

Now I'm on my own with my 7 year old daughter and scared that I wont be able to do this.

I moved away from all my friends 6 months ago, and know no one where I live. I think if I cry any more I will flood the front room.

Someone please give me a little inspiration or hope, and Im sorry to moan

Andrea xxx

 

[Charlotte-j]

hun its normal to be scared and worried, i was when my ex left me. ur be ok hun, on here ur make loads of friends to give u advice, u can message me anytime. ur already a mummy so u have an idea what to expect, u dont need ur ex. ur strong enough to do this without him xx

 

[dolly28]

Thanks, I hope you are right. I know Im already a single mum, but I never had to go through the whole pregnancy and birth thing on my own before, I didnt split from her dad until she was 2, think thats the thing im most scared of, that and not having anyone to hold my hand. Sad but true

A xxx

 

[TiaSunset]

First of all to you hun.
You may not feel like you can do it now, but you CAN.
Try going to your GP and asking about any single parenting groups in your area, search the internet for some and of course we are here for you.
It won't be easy but it will be worthwhile.
Try contacting your friends again and even making new friends in your area, join a local group etc.
Try and stay as positive as possible because what emotions you feel, your baby feels.
Please DON'T give up.
You are stronger than you think.

Good luck xx

 

[Irishmum]

I went through the whole pregnancy on my own and i'm going to level with ya.... there will be days where ya feel low (but just come here ) the truth is I was browsing B n B and I noticed how many probs some OHs cause. I mean yeah being single and pregnant isn't exactly a sunlit picnic, but at least the problems you have to deal with in a hormonal state are your own and ya dont have some *&^!$£* making life more difficult for ya.

I know its small comfort. But there are plenty of us here who have come out swinging. And i think many of us would agree that we are better people for it.

You'll do great hun.

 

[lauraperrysan]

Hey hun, I'm sorry your feeling so low. I went thro pregnancy alone at just 18 and my daughter is now 2.5yrs. It's not an easy journey but such a rewarding one. I am sure you will be a great mummy. One parent is loads better than two that aren't happy together.
I met my oh when my daughter was just 5 months and he's been her dad ever since. Life has a way of working out one way or anther.....
Stay stong

 

[Mummy&bump]

ye i agree with the last 2 comments hun! i never thought id ever get thru this pregnancy alone my and oh split up a week b4 i found out and hes not tht intrested in the baby! but u will get there! as the others said sum days u r really realy down u jus want sum1 2 tell u ur doin great and even jus a cuddle but u kno what u sit there feel sorry 4 urself tht day/night se by the next day ur a ll bubbley again! we dont need men, there jus a bonus for the little ones and its only goin 2 make ur bond better with ur lo!

when u cum home 4m work ur lo's will b runnin 2 u 4 a cuddle coz they'v missed u all day and ul have the double the hugs as other parents have coz u get 2 play mummy and daddy!

hope u cheer up soon

xx

 

[edinsam]

Hun I'm just about to be in the same situ as u and feel exactly the same. We can get through this together. Pm if u want to chat. Hopefully my up days could be your down days and we could support each other. Hang on in there ( see I'm having a good day!!)

 

[Lexi's Mummy]

I agree with irishmum, i hear more ppl moaning about there oh than i do hear single mums moaning about not having an oh, (hope that made sense)

i went through my whole pregnancy and birth alone and i dont feel it would of been anyway diff if i had a partner, Dont kid yourself that you need a man for support, we are women and built to handle situations like this, plus you now have us i hope your ok and send lots of but if and when you ever need to talk, rant, vent or even scream we will all be here helping you stay strong for your baby xxxx

 

[missbump]

Hi everyone
I just found out I'm pregnant and I am also single... the guy was someone I'd just started dating for a few weeks, and although I thought we were going somewhere, he suddenly cooled right off - and now I'm pregnant and 'alone' (I know I have friends and family but you know what I mean)!

Now, I need to tell him and I don't know how! I sent him an email asking him for a chat but he hasn't replied - I think he assumed I was being a Glenn Close bunny boiler wanting to be reunited with him, as the chances of me falling pregs after doing it one time are quite slim!

Anyway I think I will have to call him tomorrow and spit it out - thing is I am scared of his reaction - I am sure he'll be shocked but I don't want him to think i'm asking much of him, I just want him to know and then think about where we can go from here in terms of his involvement in the pregnancy and birth process. I want the child to know its father even if we aren't in a relationship.

 

[Lexi's Mummy]

Hi everyone
I just found out I'm pregnant and I am also single... the guy was someone I'd just started dating for a few weeks, and although I thought we were going somewhere, he suddenly cooled right off - and now I'm pregnant and 'alone' (I know I have friends and family but you know what I mean)!

Now, I need to tell him and I don't know how! I sent him an email asking him for a chat but he hasn't replied - I think he assumed I was being a Glenn Close bunny boiler wanting to be reunited with him, as the chances of me falling pregs after doing it one time are quite slim!

Anyway I think I will have to call him tomorrow and spit it out - thing is I am scared of his reaction - I am sure he'll be shocked but I don't want him to think i'm asking much of him, I just want him to know and then think about where we can go from here in terms of his involvement in the pregnancy and birth process. I want the child to know its father even if we aren't in a relationship.

i think maybe you should just tell him over the phone if its the only way he'll listen lol, but i would be ready for him to react badly if i were you, so if he doesnt then thing wont be so bad, in most cases though they tend to run a mile, but once you tell him you just want him to be there for the child not you, give him some head space and he may even contact you once he's had time to think about it properly. If not though then im sure youll be fine, just stay strong for baba and whatever the outcome i wish you luck and happiness for both you and the baby...
keep us posted, and remember, us single mummy's stick by each other so if you need any of us were here xx

 

[Jelly Bean]

Hi hon, I'm not a single mum but I feel for you so much. Just wanted to say that the "better off alone" [than with the kind of douchebag who would leave you or be uncertain whether he wanted this baby] adage is annoying but true. Plus now you have your whole life ahead of you and will undoubtedly bag some wonderful fellow who will be a real dad to your children, like lots of the girls here.

 

[missbump]

Thanks for the support! Sorry it has taken me a while to reply. I did get in touch with him and we spoke on the phone... he was so shocked and did think it was better I didn't go through with it but when I explained I had the support of my family and friends he seemed to be a little less averse to the idea... still didn't indicate he wanted to be involved in any way - but that is to be expected after hearing such sudden news.

Anyway that was a few weeks ago, I haven't been in touch with him since as I don't even know when my first scan is going to be yet ... I'm not out of the woods and I don't have any other news. But it could have been a lot worse!!!

 

[tinkabells]

There are a few of us out there, with same sort of sit, but least you already got a child so you kinda no whats gonna happen! Were all here for each other xxx

 

[june09]

It is a scarey thing to go through on your own at times, and I am sure there will always be good days and the bad days. I know theres days when I am terrified of doing this whole thing on my own but then theres the days when I think I am better of that way. Its only natural to be scared but like everyone else said theres always people on here going through similar things, who you can chat to and get some support from!

 

[purpledahlia]

Im in the same situation, i have told the dad ive called emailed texted and facebookd, but hes disappeared! i think he may be on holiday, but i also think he is religious. i have to now go thru the whole council flat system and try and get somewhere to live. i live with work so once i finish.. i am homeless. nightmare.

 

[Landingmach3]

Hi everyone
I just found out I'm pregnant and I am also single... the guy was someone I'd just started dating for a few weeks, and although I thought we were going somewhere, he suddenly cooled right off - and now I'm pregnant and 'alone' (I know I have friends and family but you know what I mean)!

Now, I need to tell him and I don't know how! I sent him an email asking him for a chat but he hasn't replied - I think he assumed I was being a Glenn Close bunny boiler wanting to be reunited with him, as the chances of me falling pregs after doing it one time are quite slim!

Anyway I think I will have to call him tomorrow and spit it out - thing is I am scared of his reaction - I am sure he'll be shocked but I don't want him to think i'm asking much of him, I just want him to know and then think about where we can go from here in terms of his involvement in the pregnancy and birth process. I want the child to know its father even if we aren't in a relationship.

Hey hun,
No how that is...I lost my virginity and found out I was pregnant 4 weeks later. My then boyfriend and i had been dating for a little over a month and I had to tell him I was expecting his child. Now, although we are not together anymore, he sends child support every month and visits our daughter whenever we can. It's hard...he lives in Ireland and I in the U.S. But so far we are making it work. PM me if you want to. I want Lily to know her Daddy, too, even if he ups and walks away permanently one day. Just give him time after you tell him. My ex took 2 weeks before he could talk to me again...and after that we even tried to see if we were compatible at a deeper level and dated for an additional 5 months. Just be open-minded and give me a message whenever you want to chat. best of luck. god bless.

 

[dom85]

Hi everyone
I just found out I'm pregnant and I am also single... the guy was someone I'd just started dating for a few weeks, and although I thought we were going somewhere, he suddenly cooled right off - and now I'm pregnant and 'alone' (I know I have friends and family but you know what I mean)!

Now, I need to tell him and I don't know how! I sent him an email asking him for a chat but he hasn't replied - I think he assumed I was being a Glenn Close bunny boiler wanting to be reunited with him, as the chances of me falling pregs after doing it one time are quite slim!

Anyway I think I will have to call him tomorrow and spit it out - thing is I am scared of his reaction - I am sure he'll be shocked but I don't want him to think i'm asking much of him, I just want him to know and then think about where we can go from here in terms of his involvement in the pregnancy and birth process. I want the child to know its father even if we aren't in a relationship.

Hiya, I'm in the same situation, the guy I was seeing was someone I met through a friend at work so it's been really awkward not letting anyone at work know and trying to get in touch with the father. I didn't even have his number on my phone so I had to send him a message on Facebook and ask him to call me. He called this morning and it went better than expected in that he didn't blow up over the phone, even said sorry, even though it isn't exactly all his fault. We used protection as well, but it obviously didnt work. I told him that I had my choice and he has one as well, I've had a while to get used to the idea so I'm giving him some time to get used to idea and if he wants to be involved or not. I asked if I needed anything but I said no, it's up to him what he wants to do.

I think he's the kind of person that feels he should do something but it's obviously going to cause disruption in his life and his parents wont be happy about it so I don't know how he'll feel.

Hope he gets in touch soon, do you know any of his friends at all who you could ask for him to get in touch?