Not meaning to offend.

[emalou90]

Don't mean this to sound pro/con breast/bottle but I was planning to breastfeed for a while with my baby until
I saw a friend the other day who's got an almost 6 month old and I couldn't believe how much he was just stuck to her, so clingy and wanting milk all the time they were here (all afternoon 4+ hours)


I formula fed my DD because I wasn't successful with breast, but seeing this just makes me not want a baby stuck to me 24/7 like that. I feel as though I'd get stressed with it all.
My DD was and still is very independent, not clingy and never really wanted cuddles unless she was poorly.

But now I feel bad for wanting to just formula feed and I know I shouldn't but a stressed mummy isn't fun!
Do you ladies understand? I mean if you switched because it was stressing you out? Or if this was one of the reasons why you didn't breastfeed?

 

[Perplexed]

I don't think bf baby doesn't learn to be independent. All babies develop at their own pace, and not minding being away from mommy is one of those things imo.

After introducing solids it won't be constant bf as a friend told me.

Best thing to do is try bf, and if it stresses you more than you can manage you can either combi feed or switch. Some women find it easier than others and you won't know till you try.

 

[Kino]

Breastfeeding didn't work for us due to a few reasons and I actually really did love the actual act of it for the few Weeks we were able to do it but honestly, it caused me alot of emotional stress being the only person who could feed the baby and not having any freedom at all. I'm much happier bottle feeding...I pump breastmilk and formula. I do miss the closeness of bf and I do feel guilty but overall I'm very happy. You're not alone in feeling how you do!

 

[special_kala]

Could her baby not just have been having a bad day?

I wouldnt not breastfeed for that reason as it has so many benefits. F is breastfed and I didnt feed him between 11 and 6 today.

 

[stomp110]

I breastfed for 5 weeks and then stopped now I fully express.. benefits of breastfeeding just without the clingyness x

 

[zorak]

I think you need to try it and see how you get on. I succesfully breastfed for 4 months then switched to FF for a few different reasons. I enjoyed BF and do miss it but FF just suiits our situation more now.

Baby will be clingy even if they are FF, the need to be close to their mother.

 

[m.knight]

I tried for a couple of days to breast feed but hated it and it stressed me and baby out so much so we went to formula. I have a very happy baby who loves his cuddles but is also very easy to be out down either awake or asleep. I couldn't want for more!

 

[tublet]

Babies can be clingy however they are fed, could be poorly or just having one of those days! We had to stop for different reasons but I would give it a go and see how you get on. I have no issues with using formula but I would always try bf for the health benefits and the fact it's free! Formula isn't cheap!

 

[AP]

I will say Tori grew up being very clingy and I did find it a different planet to bringing up Alex. It was difficult, but I stuck it out til she was done. I used to get upset...now I miss it

 

[Leesy]

There are a number of reasons the baby could have been clingy that day, growth spurt, not feeling well, just really hungry. I don't think being brestfed would be the sole reason. My lo was pretty much split fed from birth and he has had periods of being really clingy too, especially now at nearly 18 months. Personally, I wouldn't not brestfeed to avoid a clingy baby.

 

[aimee-lou]

Devil's advocate here - I FF from birth with all 3 of mine. I've never regretted it once. It worked out great for all of us. I have 3 strapping, healthy and happy boys. They have always been very independent - all 3 of them - but I'm hesitant to say that's because of their method of being fed. I think that's more down to personality and they all have bad days where I'm carrying one or the other of them, or having to run around after one of them as they're poorly etc.

To me, feeding is such a personal issue. If you want to BF then do, If you want to FF then do. Seriously, no-one should or can judge as it's so personal to your individual circumstances. Happy Mum = Happy Baby and as long as you're going to be happy with your decisions and efforts then go for it.

 

[emalou90]

Thanks ladies.
Some of you, I think, got the idea I was saying breast feeding causes a clingy baby. That's not what I was saying, BUT clingy to me means that baby is on you or your boob a lot because obviously that's where their food comes from and they are comforted by it. It would stress me out not being able to get any amount of distance! (That sounds awful, but you know what I mean hopefully)

I've made a step towards FF today by getting bottles, milk etc all ready in a cupboard. It makes me feel tonnes better knowing I could easily go down the same road as before.
I'll do the whole first feed, skin to skin bonding like I did with my DD and then just go from there.

I appreciate all views on this so thanks

 

[Perplexed]

Good luck with whatever choice you make I honestly believe that either choice you make is the best one for your family.

 

[mama2connor]

I breastfed my baby for the first week but we had to stop due to him having colic and everytime he had a feed he would be screaming for hours after in pain. I'm assuming something in my diet wasn't agreeing with his tummy. When we were breastfeeding he was constantly on and off the breast but that is completely normal in the early days. You must do whatnis best for you whether that be bottle feeding or breastfeeding. Perhaps you could just give breastfeeding a go you never know you could surprise your self. X

 

[MindUtopia]

I would imagine most 6 month olds would largely be stuck to mum all day. They're still very little at that point, can't crawl/walk and can barely sit up, so likely to always be in mum's arms. Would baby likely need to eat all afternoon at that age? No and in my experience, at 6 months, my friends who BF didn't spend much more time feeding during the day that I did. But is the breast a great tool for comforting a baby? Yes. And many mums just prefer it to using a dummy (especially if you have a baby who won't take one) and like to do it. I personally like to hold my daughter a lot and she wasn't really on the floor or left to play in a jumperoo (don't have one) or door bouncer (don't have one) or any of those other tools mums use to get things done, and if I'd still been BF at that age, probably would have enjoyed spending time BF her, especially if we were out and she was getting fussy (as babies sometimes do on visits to friends). People do it because it works and it releases nice endorphins for both mum and baby. Probably your friend just found it worked well and was easier than doing anything else with a baby who was getting a bit fussy or tired or whatever. Did you ask her? I imagine she probably didn't feel like her baby was being clingy or like she was too tied down to a nursing baby or else she probably wouldn't still be BF her. I think everyone has a different approach to parenting. Some people like to be able to have more space and expect to be able to put a baby down and have it entertain itself from a young age. Some people prefer to be in close contact with baby all the time and don't feel like it's a burden or difficult. I think everyone's just different.

 

[Nela]

Just a question, is this a baby that is used to you and your home? I ask because whenever Nathaniel is in an unfamiliar setting with people he doesn't know well, he will be extra clingy and he is formula fed. I babywear during those times because he needs the comfort. Just an observation

 

[pinklizzy]

I started with breastfeeding and was so determined that it would work out this time (my daughter had an undiagnosed tongue tie which due to many reasons we didn't have snipped and never really latched properly etc)
I had lots of problems with sore nipples and still have bits of tissue missing from one of them that are growing back slowly but was prepared to carry on with it as I wanted him to have breastmilk, until he started dropping weight. I know its normal for them to drop from birth weight but he carried on loosing until he was less at 10 days than he was at his first weighing at 3 days. I found that every time he fed I'd be overcome with a massive wave of depression and feeling of homesickness? I cried for most of the day as he wanted to feed so often.
As of the weekend I'm expressing and 'topping up' with formula. Not what I wanted to do at all but despite that I'm so much happier. I just hope i don't regret my decision later on but at the moment I'm just doing what seems to be working for us and I feel much less depressed and isolated. I actually feel like I want to hold and cuddle him a lot more now as I'm not dreading him waking up and wanting to feed, I wear him a lot and I even pick him up when he's sleeping just to snuggle him (much to my MIL's horror!)

 

[girlinyork]

My DD is ebf and has never been clingy. During her growth spurts she was feeding every hour but that equates to about 3 or 4 days out of her whole life. It just depends on how you approach comforting your baby I suppose. DD likes to be cuddled so when she was upset she was cuddled by me or my DH. Bfing has never been my go to comfort method for my daughter. At the end of the day, you could try and stop if it isn't for you. You just won't know if you don't try and you may regret it. Good luck with whichever you choose

 

[Lara310809]

Okay, I'm going to try to keep this short for you.

My first baby, I didn't BF for long because I didn't understand much about it, my milk didn't come in, so by a week old we were combi-feeding, and by a month old we were 100% FF. Even today I feel guilt for not having researched it enough. Even four years later I feel that, and it's almost as raw as the day it happened. Despite what my second baby was like...

My second baby, BF took off really well, but she fed constantly, would only take me to soothe her. I got PND, got depressed, resentful, felt hatred for her. Was NOT a good time. Tried to introduce a bottle; she wouldn't take it. EVER. She also didn't want to wean. EVER. My milk dried up when she was 14m old (I was pregnant at the time and hormones can make that happen), so basically she was starved off the boob and onto solids. If my milk hadn't dried up I don't think she would have started with solids. Life instantly became easier.

My third baby; didn't want to BF, but such pressure to do it so I agreed to combi-feed from the beginning. Introduced a bottle and formula at 1 day old. By a month I gave up BF completely. Never been happier. This time there was far less stress to make it work; more focus on being a happy mum with a happy baby (or three in my case).

Lesson? DO what works for you and your baby. I would suggest, if you want to be able to get away from feeds every so often, to pump and feed via a bottle occasionally to get the baby used to it. If you can't pump extra, get him/her used to the flavour of formula every now and then. Do what you need to do in order to be a good mother; I wasn't a good mother when my second was so clingy and feeding all the time, and I was depressed. So depressed I couldn't see out of it. I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Do what's best for you

 

[rosepetals36]

Don't mean this to sound pro/con breast/bottle but I was planning to breastfeed for a while with my baby until
I saw a friend the other day who's got an almost 6 month old and I couldn't believe how much he was just stuck to her, so clingy and wanting milk all the time they were here (all afternoon 4+ hours)


I formula fed my DD because I wasn't successful with breast, but seeing this just makes me not want a baby stuck to me 24/7 like that. I feel as though I'd get stressed with it all.
My DD was and still is very independent, not clingy and never really wanted cuddles unless she was poorly.

But now I feel bad for wanting to just formula feed and I know I shouldn't but a stressed mummy isn't fun!
Do you ladies understand? I mean if you switched because it was stressing you out? Or if this was one of the reasons why you didn't breastfeed?

this was a major factor for me not tryin bfing, when i was 13-14 i was in the docs waitin room with my stepmum, and my 18 month old brother who wouldn't get off the boob.....in the waitin room he was screamin, yankin at her top n goin mad for milk.....once he got it, he then bit her nip n she plonked him on the floor, this made more tears n left me traumatised lol