JustMe.
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I had my baby 6 weeks ago, the birth was very hard, I had pre eclampsia and the labour was long and i ended up having to have forceps an epsiotomy and stitches. I also had anemia after she was born and was kept in hospital for a week. Summer (my baby) had duodenal atresia so had to stay in hospital for 2 weeks. I didnt find out she had that untill i was 36 weeks pregnant and I took quite badly to it.
She had an op the day after she was born and now has a big scar across her belly and everytime i look at it it reminds me of everything that happened and the day i found out she had duodenal atresia.
I hate the name of it and whenever i say it it makes me feel weird hard to explain.
Somedays i feel okay, but others, like today i feel crap and like i just cant be bothered to do anything like feed her, wind her etc. I know that sounds so bad and i dont want to feel that way, but its like i just dont have the energy or motivation.
I keep thinking about the birth and everything that happened and it just kinda freaks me out!
Im so irritable aswell. And when she cries its like i dont have the motivation to go to her, but i do. I feel like im doing a rubbish job and that im a crap mum and that she probably doesnt like me or even no who i am. Im annoyed with myself for not carrying on breastfeeding aswell, i loved giving her my milk but then i was ill and my milk supply was really low so i ended up giving her formula and now she is on that constantly and im so annoyed im not giving her my milk, specially with her op she had.
My partner can never do anytihng on his own, he always needs my help with EVERYTHING which really stresses me out. he always moans at me if i dont help him and then makes sarcastic comments trying to hint that im a bad mum.
im always worrying that something will go wrong with her belly again, and when shes sick it scares me cause i dont know if its to do with the duodenal atresia.
I just dont feel like im coping tbh.
Sometimes when i see her scar il feel like crying. I just feel really shitty, but some days im okay and feel fine and normal.
My partner doesnt really ever help out, its always me getting up in the night at every feed, he never does any of them and if i ask for his help once il get shouted at or ignored.
I love Summer to bits, so i dont understand why i feel like i just cant be bothered to look after her. obviously i am looking after her, but i want to enjoy it more than i do.
Does anyone have any advice please? x
She had an op the day after she was born and now has a big scar across her belly and everytime i look at it it reminds me of everything that happened and the day i found out she had duodenal atresia.
I hate the name of it and whenever i say it it makes me feel weird hard to explain.
Somedays i feel okay, but others, like today i feel crap and like i just cant be bothered to do anything like feed her, wind her etc. I know that sounds so bad and i dont want to feel that way, but its like i just dont have the energy or motivation.
I keep thinking about the birth and everything that happened and it just kinda freaks me out!
Im so irritable aswell. And when she cries its like i dont have the motivation to go to her, but i do. I feel like im doing a rubbish job and that im a crap mum and that she probably doesnt like me or even no who i am. Im annoyed with myself for not carrying on breastfeeding aswell, i loved giving her my milk but then i was ill and my milk supply was really low so i ended up giving her formula and now she is on that constantly and im so annoyed im not giving her my milk, specially with her op she had.
My partner can never do anytihng on his own, he always needs my help with EVERYTHING which really stresses me out. he always moans at me if i dont help him and then makes sarcastic comments trying to hint that im a bad mum.
im always worrying that something will go wrong with her belly again, and when shes sick it scares me cause i dont know if its to do with the duodenal atresia.
I just dont feel like im coping tbh.
Sometimes when i see her scar il feel like crying. I just feel really shitty, but some days im okay and feel fine and normal.
My partner doesnt really ever help out, its always me getting up in the night at every feed, he never does any of them and if i ask for his help once il get shouted at or ignored.
I love Summer to bits, so i dont understand why i feel like i just cant be bothered to look after her. obviously i am looking after her, but i want to enjoy it more than i do.
Does anyone have any advice please? x