I don't know about having more kids. We are going to struggle to be comfortable financially as it is with one. I'm already 38. My earning potential is maxed out unless I change jobs, and I have no idea what else I could or would want to do. My DH is trying to earn more, but he keeps fumbling so he never makes much progress. It always feels like one step forward and two steps back for us. I don't want to be uncomfortable. I want to give my child everything that I can. If that means having an only child I am ok with that. My DH has started saying that he wouldn't mind trying for another, but I think those feelings might change once the work of having a child actually comes to light. Sure, it's easy for him right now. I'm the one who's pregnant. And I certainly don't enjoy it. I don't know why anyone would choose to do this again, but I haven't seen the payoff yet.
As for sticking with your husband thru thick and thin, it is all up to you and how you feel about marriage, and your ability to trust. My DH has done many stupid trust breaking things over the years. We have almost been divorced twice. We split up three years ago and lived separately for a year. Divorce proceedings began, and shortly before heading to the first hearing in court he started asking for a second chance. I wasn't easily convinced, because it actually was his third chance. He took it much more seriously this time, and actually started his own counseling and we started marriage counseling that he finally took seriously. I had tried to get us counseling twice before, but it was a massive failure because he just didn't care to try. Anyhow, this time it really helped because his heart was in it. It took a long time to convince me, and I payed my therapist for many hours to listen to me cry and anguish over what the right choice was for me. I didn't want to be a fool, take him back again and just be hurt again. I would set time limits and pass them and still be "dating" my DH. I just couldn't pull the plug. Marriage is important to me and I just couldn't walk away. Over time we moved back in together and things improved. I still have trust issues with him. We should probably still be in therapy. Our marriage counselor did give us the green light not to come anymore. There are still issues. But overall, I am glad I made the decision I did to stay in the marriage. No marriage is perfect. They require a lot of work because people are imperfect.
Being pregnant I have seen a different side to my DH. He is working harder than ever to be a good husband. He still falters, but he takes me seriously now, when before he would just brush me off as a crazy person. We have been thru so much together. It has been really hard. I don't know if I would do it again. But I do love him. I'm glad that we have managed to work thru everything and get to where we are today. I am excited to have a family and grow into something new. Trust is something that grows again over time. I struggle with it a lot, but I have faith that in time it will get better and better.
That felt like a bunch of written diarrhea. I hope that you can take something positive out of that, as I don't even really know what I was trying to say other than I have been thru something similar and applaud your efforts to stick thru the problems and try to keep your family intact.
and best of luck.
How horrible would that be to have to contact everyone that already got there shower invites and say "oops, its a boy" 
I wouldn't be too accepting of the "I don't see a penis so it must be a girl" line either. Hope both of our girls stay that way MommaB.
