I agree that showers in the US have gotten a little out of control. Back "in the day", having a shower for subsequent children was a complete no-no, but now it's like ladies are having showers for every baby that comes along - 4th, 5th, whatever, let's have a party!
With our first, it was ALL hand-me-downs, with the exception of our crib. It was great. I haven't really had to buy anything for my son (Mrs. - yes, he's 10), until the last few years when the hand-me-downs come pretty worn out. My sister has a son 2 years older and 2 years younger than mine, so I get the hand-me-downs and then hand them right back. It's GREAT!!
DH and I are in a much better position financially this time, and there are a few friends having babies recently that aren't in as good of a position, so any of the hand-me-downs that have been offered this time around I have offered to one of my other friends (or family). So we've had to end up purchasing most of what we need. Most of my shower gifts were clothes, which is fabulous, but I still need to get all the little necessities like diapers, onesies, pacifiers, etc. and it's amazing me how fast that all adds up! I guess it's just such a shock this time around because we bought nothing the first time around!
But indeed, we're super lucky here in the states to have showers. However, I would never (and didn't this time) rely on my showers to get me everything I need. For me, it's an excuse to celebrate my LONG awaited little one.
As it's not the norm here, I find that there are a lot of hand-me-downs but also people being really froogle and just buying the necessities. Of course there are gifts when the baby arrives but generally it's toys and clothes. We are so lucky to have family with lots of older kids so we have been given so much stuff.
