NTNP - why so stressful?!

Discussion in 'Not Trying, Not Preventing' started by hanfromman, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. hanfromman

    hanfromman Well-Known Member

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    Hey everyone! I don't post very often, but I just need a bit of a rant!
    Me and hubby are NTNP, but while he seems totally relaxed about it, I keep hoping and getting stressed, then all sad if I get a negative test! When I think about it logically, it's not such a big thing if we don't pregnant right now - we have lots of other stuff to keep us occupied and are very happy:) But as soon as I think there's a slightest chance I might be, I get all obsessed with it!! And then really sad when I get a negative test!
    I had a miscarriage 7 weeks ago and we weren't trying to conceive then either, but I was just like I am now! Must be the mothering instinct?!
    I've got some symptoms at the mo which could mean I'm pregnant - very mild cramping (I never usually get cramping or any other signs before AF), nipples dark and quite prominent, and needing the toilet quite often. I had a negative test yesterday but then I guess if I'm having implantation cramps the past couple of days, a test would probably be negative? But then I sometimes think that all these symptoms could just be in my head!!
    Arrghh it's so annoying! I can't stop over thinking and driving myself mad, and time seems to go so slowly!
     
  2. Anais

    Anais Well-Known Member

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    I know exactly what you mean about NTNP but being obsessed & I personally am very impatient with most things so this is really annoying. But, I do believe things will happen as they are supposed to.

    Men are more relaxed about this because the symptoms (real or imagined) don't happen in their body, so they find it easy to focus on other stuff. Maybe you really need to take a break and give yourself time to get over the miscarriage, just my opinion anyway.. Good luck!
     
  3. Aurora CHK

    Aurora CHK Praying for my rainbow

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    Yeah, I'm with you two too!

    Last month hubby and I decided not to NTNP anymore precisely because of this - ie I got all stressed/excited/obsessed each month and then emotional and sad every time I got AF, but we're not ready for full TTC yet.

    So we decided to go back to 'WTT' (waiting to try) until next September when things will be much more convenient eg we have saved money, sorted our house out, and my Mum will be close to retirement (she's offering to help with childcare).

    But that didn't last very long because essentially it requires me to tell him days that 'aren't safe' so we can avoid DTD on those days (we never use contraception for various reasons), but hormones and broodiness being what they are I just jumped on him anyway!

    So I'm back into 'wondering' what will be the outcome this month! And therefore I'm back on Baby and Bump obsessing :)
     
  4. Hit Girl

    Hit Girl Well-Known Member

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    It is stressful isn't it?! You tell yourself you're going to be all laid-back about it because, you know, 'if it happens, it happens'. But when AF is due to arrive you can't help stressing/wondering if this is it. Gah. Not to mention how poopy you feel when AF does turn up. I don't know about you, but I always think, "I'm barren!!"
     
  5. ParisJeTadore

    ParisJeTadore Mum to my beautiful kids!

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    haha! Story of my life! I've been thinking this for years and now that we've actually started trying am really afraid that I won't be able to get pregnant. I'm on cycle #2 (so we've barely started trying!) and I already had a dream this morning that AF arrived :dohh: I think as women we are much more attached to the idea of having a baby because we are the ones that have to do all the heavy work (i.e being pregnant and delivering) :)
     
  6. schoonko08

    schoonko08 Member

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    My husband and I had been talking about maybe trying for number 2 in the new year.Now randomly I am late for my period,have all same symptoms as before but we were using contraception,so I think it v unlikely we are but at the same time I am now finding myself obsessing over it and trying to work out if I might be,even though have done a test and it was a bfn.Ridiculous really,why am i obsessing and why can't i just let it be whatever it will be!
    It took about 6 months to conceive our first so it seems highly unlikely I am this time,just wish I could turn off the little voice in the back of my head saying 'but what if...?'!!!
     
  7. booklover07

    booklover07 New Member

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    It does seem ridiculous that we never seem to be at peace with the issue of pregnancy. When you're young you are told that if you have sex even once without a condom you can end up pregnant. So you obsess about preventing pregnancy and worry that you might the one in a million chance case of a woman getting pregnant from swimming in a hot tub. Then, when you are finally in a place that pregnancy is an ok idea, even something to be excited about, you find out that you really only have this really short elusive window every month in which pregnancy might happen. So you now obsess about all the reasons of why you're are not getting pregnant. arg.:grr:


    Sorry for the rant. I joined this site largely cause none of my friends have kids or are trying to have kids. It is nice to at least read that people are experiencing some of the same things I am.
     
  8. ams23

    ams23 NTNP

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    Hi Hanfromman! I know exactly what you mean. I only came off the pill 2 and a half weeks ago, and we are not even TTC, using the pull-out method. But already I know I will be secretly so disappointed when AF arrives every month, even though I know it's so unlikely to happen that quick and we're not even meant to be trying lol. So I can't imagine how bad I will be when we are actually trying!

    I had a 'scare' about 6 months ago... I was still on the pill but had so many PG symptoms, feeling sick, sore boobs, no AF for 8 weeks. I convinced myself I was pregnant... I knew it was unlikely with being on the pill (and I was still at uni so it wouldn't have been the best timing anyway), but I built the symptoms up so much inside my head. Then when I actually took a test and got a BFN I was so disappointed! Even though it would have been really bad timing if we were preg. It's so easy to symptom-spot and get excited about the possibilities isn't it, and then it's a total crash back to reality. I think it is defo just that womanly mothering instinct, totally normal but it doesn't make it any easier. At least we're all the same and not alone! x

    Haha, this did make me laugh, it's soooo true. We spend so many years trying to prevent getting pregnant because we're told that it's really easy to. have one slip-up. Then you realise that actually it's not that easy at all and we've been completely misled and lied to! lol. I joined for the same reason as you, none of my friends have babies yet so it's lovely to meet others in the same boat! x
     
  9. Smile181c

    Smile181c Mummy to 3!

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    Love this thread :thumbup:

    I always think I'm barren too :dohh: not for any particular reason other than the fact OH and I used the pull out method for 2 years without any unplanned pg's!

    When you're so used to seeing random girls having sex once and getting duffed, you automaticall assume that it's gonna happen for you and when you look into it a bit more you find out that it's actually really difficult!!

    I'm only on cycle #1 so of course hoping I catch early (as does everyone else) but I know even though we're going with the flow, I'll be so disappointed come January if I get a bfn!

    Sorry if none of that made sense :dohh: I'm rambling xx
     
  10. fionar

    fionar Mama to 2 boys

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    I'm in the same boat lady. We're not officially trying until Fall of 2012, but for the time being we're sort of NTNP and after last month and all the hoping and wondering and thinking "maybe" and doing all kinds of brooding and obsessing, I was super super disappointed when AF came.

    We had a talk, then, about being a little more lax with our prevention of pregnancy - still not TRYING to get pregnant until Fall 2012, but being OK if it happens sooner... and I know I'm going to be disappointed when AF shows up again.

    You're most certainly not alone... welcome to my head! :p
     
  11. schoonko08

    schoonko08 Member

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    Test was negative but it has now made us decide to just stop using contraception now as we were both a bit disappointed when it was a false alarm,I will try to be laid back about it but I know I'm just about to get back on the monthly rollercoaster of 2ww and becoming a POAS addict again!To be honest I think a lot of the ntnp thing is that you just end up being closetly obsessed with your cycle but you don't tell your partner,so at least one of you isn't stressing!But like was already said when the symptoms are happening to you it's difficult not to overanalyse every little twinge!
     
  12. JZW

    JZW Mummy to Evie <3 & NTNP

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    We used pull out method for 8yrs with no pregnancies, then the month we decided to ntnp, I got pregnant straight away. I was so convinced I was infertile that I nearly fainted when I saw that bfp!
     
  13. Hit Girl

    Hit Girl Well-Known Member

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    Although we never used the pull-out method, we were just as shocked to see those two lines the other day. I 'KNEW' (for no good reason) that I was infertile.
     
  14. MetsKelly3

    MetsKelly3 Member

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    Sooo true. DH's family history is men with strong strong swimmers (one BIL had a son at 16, other BIL at 20), so we've been so paranoid about getting preggo at the wrong time. Now that it's a good time, I'm worried his swimmers are spent! :spermy:
     
  15. Miaw

    Miaw LTTTC #1

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    Me and my fiance we are NTNP since dec. 28, it happened to be my ovulation day, and although I am not feeling symptoms I am so exited, hoping I could be. I have been wanting this for a long time. I was always kind of ''careless'' hoping it could happen. But it never did.
    My best friend just recently gave birth, about 2 weeks ago. And I am really exited and happy for her, but it seems so unfair. I wish I could be blessed with a baby, with all the times I was stupid and careless and did not get pregnant I am starting to wonder if I ever will :(
    I am so very stressed too. I can't wait for this too happen. I said to myself that I will terst on the 10th, the day my period is due. (if she does not show of course)
     
  16. jamiesmammy2b

    jamiesmammy2b Well-Known Member

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    Hi Ladies
    I was using the Depo injection as contraception after having my son, i was due my injection on 8th December but decided not to go for it, we were going to start using the pill as we were going to start ttc in the summer. Im so impatient and the thought of waiting til the summer was driving me mad, so we decided to NTNP but its making me more crazy than before :wacko:
    I havent had a period since missing my injection and im driving myself and my partner mad interpreting every symptom as a sign im pregnant :dohh: We took a test last week and got a BFN, its really upset me and now ive convinced myself it was too early to do the test but i have no period to go by! I also read up on the injection and people were struggling TC 18 months after stopping it, and now im paranoid thats going to happen to me!
    My partner is so relaxed about this and says he would love us to fall pregnant but is happy to let it happen when it happens :grr: He has no clue how much im obsessing, i only let him see alittle of my crazyness :wacko:
     
  17. ParisJeTadore

    ParisJeTadore Mum to my beautiful kids!

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    Hitgirl, I guess we aren't barren afterall!! I just found out that I am pregnant too! Have a happy and healthy nine months :D
     
  18. Hit Girl

    Hit Girl Well-Known Member

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    NO WAY!!!! :happydance: I'm so excited for you!!!!!!! BIG :hugs: . Who knew we weren't so barren? :haha: A very happy and healthy 9 months to you too. Congratulations beautiful. xxx
     
  19. ParisJeTadore

    ParisJeTadore Mum to my beautiful kids!

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    :happydance::happydance::happydance: I am just as thrilled for you! This is very cool :thumbup:
     
  20. Hit Girl

    Hit Girl Well-Known Member

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    You are so lovely! It's times like this I wish I could hug people on here for real! :haha:
     

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