OBEM this week

[CourtneyLane]

There'll be sensitive and insensitive ways of talking about it, just like there is with anything. Either way, talking about it more will make people realise that it is more common than people think and may allow women who feel like this to feel less guilty about it and to seek support they may need. I've not been in this position myself and always find it strange that women who also haven't been there can judge so harshly.

Also, remember these programmes are highly edited even though they are presented as fly on the wall. She will have been encouraged to talk about the gender disappointment and may have felt comfortable enough to open her heart and may have said much more that was then condensed down into the most controversial snippets.

It's really not fair to judge her for saying these things. We are fortunate enough not to be in that position and no one can say how they would react to it or what they would say unless they've truly been there.

 

[LoveCakes]

I understand the only way to break a taboo is to talk about it but don't feel a forum where her kids would find out was appropriate.

I think her feeling of the boys not being as close to her will be a self fulfilling prophecy.

If I could choose i'd have at least one of each but I would be grateful for whatever. It's not her feelings I objected to (as these can't be controlled) but how she chose to share them.

 

[Bex84]

Same as poster above. I felt the medium in which she choose to share could be emotionally harming to her boys. I wouldent judge people for the feelings. I know quite a few people who were dissapointed who after having lo love their lo so much. I think i am a tad sensitive as after had lo my mil told me how much more fun boys are, completly ignoring how fantastic my daughter is. It really concerns my if i have a boy this time she would play favorates (she does this in family already) and I never want my daughter to feel second best due to gender. I dont mind girl or boy personally but i do really feel for people suffering with gender disapointment

 

[emyandpotato]

I won't pretend to understand gender disappointment but that is the saddest thing ever, those poor boys
I can't hack that show anyway, I hate it even more now

Me either, I just can't understand it! It's not like we even expect boys and girls to fit any sort of mould any more either (I would hope!). I just see it as all children are different and a gender is just one of the little things that make a person. To me it's similar to hair colour disappointment, or a disappointment with their likes and dislikes. I know it's not like that and it's complicated but I just can't begin to understand, but I guess you can't unless you've lived it.

ETA: I hope that isn't offensive, I don't mean to upset anyone at all! I was just trying to explain my lack of understanding rather than dismiss gender disappointment itself.

 

[Tasha]

It is such a complex issue isn't it? I know people would think with what I've been through I would have no preferrence but I do, in my head (and heart) I have four girls and one boy our house should be an abundance of girls but as two of the girls died, if I have a boy then that levels everything out and it's not the way it should be (to me because of the two girls we don't have here), obviously I just want a baby to bring home regardless of gender but I feel that a girl would make my life a little gentler.

On the other hand my MIL had GD, she frequently through out DH life told him he was suppose to be Amy-Louise, that she didn't want him she already had a boy, she wanted a girl and so much more. It had huge consequences, he never felt good enough, never felt wanted and it hurt him. This lady runs the same risks.