OBEM - upsetting content this week.

[KayBea]

for anyone who watches this, there is a lady on this week who was involved in a still birth.

just warning incase it upsets people..

xxx

 

[Mammy2Joojx]

oh no thanks for letting us know. Don't think i'll be watching this weeks then! Is it a still born from a previous pregnancy that they just speak about or does she actually give birth to a stillborn?

 

[KayBea]

oh no thanks for letting us know. Don't think i'll be watching this weeks then! Is it a still born from a previous pregnancy that they just speak about or does she actually give birth to a stillborn?

i have no idea... ive looked on C4 but didnt see anything about what it was showing.
if i find out ill let you know. x

 

[KayBea]

just found this:

sorry its not in a spoiler (on iphone & not sure how to do it- if someone can tell me i'll spoiler it. x



Sarah’s pregnancy has been understandably stressful because the last time she was pregnant she delivered a stillborn baby at 22 weeks. She was told she’d never be able to carry a child to full term, and had come to an acceptance of life without children. But after feeling nauseous at work, one final pregnancy test gave her the good news she hadn’t dared dream of.

At the hospital midwives discover her baby is lying sideways (transverse) which is problematic for an easy natural birth. Her anxiety is increased even further when she beings to haemorrhage.

 

[Blah11]

there was a mother who had had a previous stillbirth last series too was very emotional when she had her lo.

 

[smokey]

I was having a discusion about this with oh the other week, I dont think they ever would put a family on that suffered a loss during filming, I think they eould want to keep the programme focused on the joyfull side and I know it is part of real life I think they would loose alot of veiwers and popularity if they did a lose story (as in that pregnancy rather then talking about a padt one)

 

[Blah11]

Yeah, I agree smoky. Although stillbirth awareness is important, obem isn't an appropriate platform whatsoever.

 

[indy and lara]

Can I ask why people think OBEM is not the right platform for a story about stillbirth? My understanding is that it is a show about pregnancy and birth and stillbirth is part of that cycle. Not everyone who is pregnant is aware of stillbirth nor are they aware of some of the signs when things are going wrong in pregnancy. If this helps to educate people then I really struggle to see the problem.

 

[lindseymw]

I think if it was a documentary, it would be suitable to discuss/show stillborns as I agree there needs to be further education on the matter. However, I agree that OBEM isn't suitable. I know if it happened to me the last I would want is for it to be shown on national TV, it is a far too intimate moment for a couple I think.

 

[indy and lara]

We don't all choose to hide away or keep private when our child dies. If the couple are happy to share their story then that is their choice? Surely OBEM is a documentary or at least a docusoap?

 

[Blah11]

because excited pregnant women watch and they dont need to be terrified about labour and worrying about their baby dying instead of enjoying the last few weeks of pregnancy. Atleast if they made a specific programme about it then people could opt just not to watch instead of being horribly surprised during the show.

 

[smokey]

I wouldnt say it was wrong or inapropriat just that I dont think its a path that obem would (not should) go down.
Its a feel good show and thats how it gets its popularity.
I cant imagine many families on the show would give consent to air it if it happened to them and have it as a public recorded reminder and I dont think the show would realy have the guts (for want of a better term) to do it.
Of course the subject isnt wrong but I dont think a show like that would or could do it justice and could realy screw it up and accidently end up portraying the family as a freak show, I just think thats how it would end up coming across.
Plus they know they would get loads of complaints so just probably dont even want to go down that path

 

[lindseymw]

We don't all choose to hide away or keep private when our child dies. If the couple are happy to share their story then that is their choice? Surely OBEM is a documentary or at least a docusoap?

Please dont think I think everyone should hide away in that situation. Obviously, if the couple give consent to show it than that's ok. I just meant that I personally wouldn't want those moments shared with the rest of the UK, I would rather keep it between me & DH (iykwim?).

I wouldn't say OBEM is a documentary, more like Big Brother in hospital

 

[indy and lara]

because excited pregnant women watch and they dont need to be terrified about labour and worrying about their baby dying instead of enjoying the last few weeks of pregnancy. Atleast if they made a specific programme about it then people could opt just not to watch instead of being horribly surprised during the show.

I actually just don't know how to word a reply to this. I really don't. Life is scary Blah. You cannot hide away from reality. This is not a show which is only aimed at pregnant women it is designed to appeal to a much wider audience. If women are not to be terrified by labour then are they only to show people who have very short, simple labours too? Surely seeing someone struggle for 36+ hours would be scary too?

Lots of people like me and DH had no idea that you can lose a baby when we did. None at all. The shock of that was almost as hard to deal with as the event itself. It would seem that it is widely known that OBEM will cover stillbirth tonight. If you do not want to see it then it is pretty easy to turn off. The lady, I believe, is going on to have another baby following her stillbirth so while stillbirth will be mentioned it is very much a story of the journey afterwards, not the actual birth of the child who died. So surely this fits in with the 'feel good factor'?

Stillbirth and women who lose babies are already pretty poorly represented in the media. Baby swapping in Eastenders anyone? And that is just for starters. I think a show like OBEM would be more likely to portray the reality a lot more realistically and empathically than it is by the soaps, where it happens 1 week and 4 weeks later it is never mentioned again.

 

[Blah11]

No, but seeing there is light at the end of the tunnel even with a difficult labour makes it a bit less scary. I have no issues with them featuring a mother with a previous loss but i think its too much to show a labour and delivery of a stillborn baby.

 

[dizz]

Yes - let's stigmatise miscarriage, stillbirth and pregnancy loss a little bit more just in case we upset someone with the reality of life. Let's continue to make it a taboo, to make it something to whisper about in hushed tones - let's continue to make those parents who lose feel more and more ashamed like they're nature's little dirty secret to be hidden away and not to acknowledge their lost children... because it might upset someone to mention that "look, this couple have had previous losses, this is very stressful for them and they're bloody terrified right now."

I mean gosh, how utterly inappropriate and inconsiderate of them for their babys to have died. How dare they and how dare Channel 4 choose to follow a couple who have this in their history and to acknowledge their previous lost children?!?!?

Do you realise just how nasty you sound and how utterly offensive you're coming across as to many on here who've had losses? Good on Channel 4 for NOT opting into the conspiracy of silence.

Sorry - babies die. It's reality. You can stack the odds as much as you can, you can hope, you can pray - but it happens.

 

[tina3747]

I agree with blah to a point but As much I'd hate to see something like that on a tv programme I love I do agree if something like that arose and the people involved were to ok it it should be shown.
It's a documentary about a labour ward and these things happen on labour ward , it happens to millions of people up and down the country , including my brother and his wife.
It's good they show all outcomes after rocky labours ect, we all love a happy ending but unfortunately not everyone gets a happy ending.

 

[Eternal]

Its a difficult one, as someone who suffered a miscarriage (like many) personally i find it hard to see anything to do with miscarriage and so does my husband. I know friends who have had still births and wouldn't want to see it either.

I do agree awareness needs to be raised though, so many people including health professionals have no idea how to deal with people after a loss. A close friend lost her twins at 24 weeks and the HV was over the week of her due date and she was upset and the HV said "arnt you over that yet?" ... shocking attitude.

I wish people has more understand to those who lose a baby, so many people have treated us like it was nothing and said really inappropriate things.

I personally dont think OBEM is the right platform to educate people about these things, but if people wanted to share their loss on TV then I wouldn't have a problem watching it, but i personally wouldnt want that experience shared with everyone, surely by the fact they include stories from those who have suffered losses educates people, without actually showing a loss on TV, i was hysterical in tears at the one who's baby got stuck and ended up with shoulder displaca (is that what its called?).

I am one of those who wants to know all the possible complications, symptoms etc of anything that can go wrong in pregnancy, but i know a lot of people who don't want to know anything too, so we cant assume everyone will think and fee the same as us.

 

[MummyToAmberx]

Im all for them showing/talking about all types pregnancy and births.

In my eyes it isnt just about happy & healthy babies its insight to everything that can and does happen.


For me only having normal deliveries makes me aware of areas that things can go wrong how they can be dealth with in.way i feel.can prepare me if one day anything did happen.

Hope get my point in that. is hard to word.

 

[Blah11]

Yes - let's stigmatise miscarriage, stillbirth and pregnancy loss a little bit more just in case we upset someone with the reality of life. Let's continue to make it a taboo, to make it something to whisper about in hushed tones - let's continue to make those parents who lose feel more and more ashamed like they're nature's little dirty secret to be hidden away and not to acknowledge their lost children... because it might upset someone to mention that "look, this couple have had previous losses, this is very stressful for them and they're bloody terrified right now."

I mean gosh, how utterly inappropriate and inconsiderate of them for their babys to have died. How dare they and how dare Channel 4 choose to follow a couple who have this in their history and to acknowledge their previous lost children?!?!?

Do you realise just how nasty you sound and how utterly offensive you're coming across as to many on here who've had losses? Good on Channel 4 for NOT opting into the conspiracy of silence.

Sorry - babies die. It's reality. You can stack the odds as much as you can, you can hope, you can pray - but it happens.

Yes, babies die but I still don't think that they should show it on OBEM Its nothing to do with stigmatising it and I've said more than once that I have NO ISSUE WITH THEM FOLLOWING A COUPLE WITH PREVIOUS LOSSES BUT I DONT THINK ITS APPROPRIATE TO SHOW THE LABOUR AND DELIVERY OF A STILLBORN BABY.


and I'm sorry but I'm quite upset at you saying Im nasty. I'd never be horrible or disrespect anyone who has lost a child.