OBEM - upsetting content this week.

[dizz]

They're not flipping showing it! They're showing a couple who've had a previous stillbirth - who understandably are scared more so than the average couple on there (previous losses totally change the dynamics of pregnancy related worry).... and callous, insensitive idiots are runnign their mouths off that they should get back in the filthy filthy taboo closet because it might upset my pregnancy to know that not everyone gets a happy ending.

Your attitude is utterly sickening, it's offensive and demeaning to every single woman on here who've lost babies to suggest they should hide away in shame cos it might upset people. It sets pregnancy loss campaigners back decades when pregnant women think they can act like utter bitches toward those that have had losses because their simple existence upsets them.

It's a HELL of a lot more upsetting to be the one doing the actual losing by the way. Hate to mention that brutal fact.

And yes, you're being an utter insensitive witch.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

I LIKE the fact that i know nothing really bad is going to happen, like the other week with that really scary delivery, the one with the (i think) forceps and i kept saying to my OH its okay they wouldn't show it if something happens to the baby..... x

 

[Blah11]

They're not flipping showing it! They're showing a couple who've had a previous stillbirth - who understandably are scared more so than the average couple on there (previous losses totally change the dynamics of pregnancy related worry).... and callous, insensitive idiots are runnign their mouths off that they should get back in the filthy filthy taboo closet because it might upset my pregnancy to know that not everyone gets a happy ending.

Your attitude is utterly sickening, it's offensive and demeaning to every single woman on here who've lost babies to suggest they should hide away in shame cos it might upset people. It sets pregnancy loss campaigners back decades when pregnant women think they can act like utter bitches toward those that have had losses because their simple existence upsets them.

It's a HELL of a lot more upsetting to be the one doing the actual losing by the way. Hate to mention that brutal fact.

And yes, you're being an utter insensitive witch.

We are talking theoretically and I'm sorry but you're being way over the top. I never once said they should hide away in shame. All I said was that OBEM wasn't the right place to raise awareness IMO and that they should make a documentory just on stillbirth instead.

 

[caz81]

There was a programme I used to watch on US tv called birth stories, a bit like OBEM only they also followed before the birth, one lady on there had a still birth which they showed, it was very emotional but I think right to show it, I think it would have been terrible to tell the parents they were not going to use the footage if they wanted it to be shown. How do you think the parents would feel if they were told that it was not going to be used?

 

[indy and lara]

By continuing to not acknowledge that Stillbirth is the outcome for some of us in pregnancy DOES make it taboo. Why should it be? We did not do anything wrong. I did not drink, smoke, take drugs, eat foods which can be seen to be risky but yet my son's cord was hypocoiled, he crushed it and died.

Why should stories like this not be talked about in a programme which is about pregnancy and birth? Frankly I think this is the ideal platform for it to be talked about and I am yet to see anyone give a real reason as to why a PREGNANCY programme should not cover ALL possible outcomes. It is easy to say that you wouldn't want your birth to be shown if the outcome was not positive but not everyone would make that choice. When your child does you have a very finite opportunity to make memories and for some people, sharing their birth would be a way of acknowledging that they were actually there.

When a show comes on and you find it difficult to watch you can stand up and turn it off. I can't do that with my life.

 

[Blah11]

are there genuinely people who have no idea that stillbirth occurs? maybe im just too hopeful in thinking that no one is naive enough to think that it never happens.

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

I was gunna comment dont think i will just incase i word it wrong....

 

[Blah11]

good idea tracie!

 

[TwilightAgain]

I personally don't think its appropriate to show a still birth on OBEM. I agree with other women who say it would be better to keep footage of such an upsetting content to a documentary fully focused on those who have suffered the loss of a child. With this it gives the option of those who don't want to see something as moving as this the option not to watch if they don't want so. Some people do like to remain in the dark about such issues, i'd still watch it personally but some women may opt out for various reasons.

If they were going to air a stillbirth on OBEM I think it would only be fair to say so in the beginning credits so viewers are aware and have the option of turning off.

I watch OBEM because its got a 'feel good' factor about the show. I like putting my feet up knowing theres always going to be a happy outcome, I imagine many viewers are happy knowing this too.

I'm sorry if my opinion offends anyone, my heart goes out to all who has lost a child and I certainly don't think they should hide away in shame. I'm all for raising awareness but I think there is better ways of doing so.

 

[indy and lara]

It is a show about pregnancy. If you find it distressing turn it off. You ALWAYS have the option to turn the TV off, regardless of what show is on.

I knew that people had stillbirths but I had no idea what happened to us could even happen. People don't know. People don't talk about it. When I returned to work 2 of my colleagues told me they had had Stillbirths. I had worked with them for years and had no idea.

 

[Blah11]

OBEM is really quite light hearted and jovial though. theyd def need to put a disclaimer if they were going to ever show a baby being stillborn. i wonder if ofcom would be ok with them showing an angel baby? or maybe they wouldnt be allowed to film the actual baby which imo is just as 'bad' as not showing it at all if not worse.

 

[indy and lara]

They have shown someone dying on TV though haven't they?

 

[Blah11]

yes on the bbc, but it was an old man i think. i know death is death but its probably more traumatic watching a baby die

 

[dizz]

I'm not the one telling mothers to be ashamed of their little ones, to hide away so they don't upset people and trying to make pregnancy loss back into some dirty little secret.

No I'm not being over the top - I'm just determined to fight the people who'd like to make pregnancy loss back into some dirty little taboo because it "upsets" them. It's no different to the ones who sit in third tri complaining about "unreasonable cows who have miscarriages meaning I can't rabbit on about my pregnancy all day every day" - despite the fact that when you read the post, the poor woman in question's done or said nowt apart from doing their job! Yet the very existence of these women is begrudged as some form of peeing on everyone's pregnancy party.

Think it's only fair for OBEM to accept and focus on the fact that sad things CAN and DO happen and those sad things DO massively, massively colour the emotional experience of any subsequent pregnancy... which is all they're doing - YOU were the one who started ranting as if they're showing an actual stillbirth and dragging it all out of context. Pregnancy after any loss is an utter different kettle of fish - I can quote statistics and probabilities tilll the cows come home - because the only way I've stayed remotely calm is to have that mental tick list of possible bad things and cross off each potential hurdle as we've jumped it - an utterly utterly different way of handling worry to many women who have the luxury of wrapping themselves up in some kind of glorious bubble of innocence - that innocence was long since stolen from many of us.

For something like OBEM which tries to do the whole emotional journey thing - you want to obliterate a part of that couple's emotional journey in dealing with the past demons because it might upset your evening's fluffy entertainment... you want to only see the positive births? Shall we have some kind of "rate my birth" screening criteria so we don't upset... what about that upsetting people who DON'T get those births - or do they not count?

I wish there WAS more coverage of miscarriage and stillbirth in the media - done properly and not in the usual soapoperaesque - fall down stairs > dramatic bleeding > baby's gone > back in pub next day crap way it's done. I'd LIKE some acceptance of the utter emotional devastation it can cause, I'd LIKE to live in the world where these hidden bereavements are accepted as true and devastating losses - instead of being made to feel like some kind of inconvenience in the way of pregnantzillas getting upset by mine and my children's existence.

Sorry my life doesn't fit into your Disney-esque world view. Actually, no I'm not - I don't resent, begrudge or feel shame in my lost children's existence (I personally don't "do" the term angel babies)... THEY deserve better than me feeling shame for them. I will always be proud that me and their father got to know them however fleetingly.

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

I don't mean this to come across as offensive so I really hope I don't upset anyone with this.

It's not "upsetting content"...It's life. And life isn't always fair.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

oh for gods sake... step down off your soap box.

 

[indy and lara]

oh for gods sake... step down off your soap box.

Uncalled for. Whether you like it or not Dizz is talking about how life has been since her child died. Very insensitive response. Sadly life is often very much like the way Dizz describes for many people who have a stillborn child.

 

[Blah11]

oh for gods sake... step down off your soap box.

Uncalled for. Whether you like it or not Dizz is talking about how life has been since her child died. Very insensitive response. Sadly life is often very much like the way Dizz describes for many people who have a stillborn child.

dizz is being rude and uncalled for. she could put her point across without the name calling and aggression.

dizz - dont put words in my mouth. no one said you should be ashamed. are you even reading my posts or are you just blinkered by rage? ive already said smokey and i were talking theoretically.

 

[indy and lara]

oh for gods sake... step down off your soap box.

Uncalled for. Whether you like it or not Dizz is talking about how life has been since her child died. Very insensitive response. Sadly life is often very much like the way Dizz describes for many people who have a stillborn child.

dizz is being rude and uncalled for. she could put her point across without the name calling and aggression.

Maybe she is just fed up of people saying we can talk about anything else but let's not upset someone by talking about/ showing the aftermath of stillbirth on the TV as it might scare people. Whether she was rude or not, being told to get off your soapbox when you are talking about your child who has died is far beyond rude.

 

[Rhi_Rhi1]

WOAHHHH i wasn't even talking to her!