****October Bumpkins 2010 - Parenting Thread****

[Serenity81]

Welcome Jen1802, I don't really have any tips for you as I have had issues getting Alexis to settle at nights aswell. She has slept fantastically the last couple of nights but mostly she's only happy when she has my boob in her mouth and wont settle without it. My midwife told me to put something in her moses basket that smelled of me, such as a pyjama top or a t-shirt but it didn't work at all, not one little bit. She only settles for me, not for anyone else, not even daddy. I hope someone can give you some useful tips.

Kitty, I can completely understand the predicament you are in because I went through a similar thing with my mother in law 10 years ago. She couldn't even understand why I would want to breastfeed in the first place as she formula fed my oh, couldn't understand why I didn't have to give my son cooled boiled water as formula fed babies need and she would make sarky comments like "Oh what a shame, he must be thirsty, I feel like we're being cruel" etc etc I bit my tongue because like you I didn't really have my mum around, she wasn't interested in me or my son and my oh was a real mummies boy so I felt like I didn't want to cause any upset or arguments. However, that all changed after we went out for the first time ever and left Liam with her. He was about 6 months old by this time and we were only out for about 4 hours, came home and he was absolutely screaming. His face was as white as a sheet and his eyes were red raw from crying. I asked her why on earth she had left him to cry so long and why she didn't phone me and tell me to come home and she said there was nothing wrong with him and that he had to snap out of just wanting his mum. I was livid and told her that she had to accept that I would be parenting my son the way I wanted to parent him and that if she did not follow my rules while looking after him then she wouldn't be babysitting at all. I said I would appreciate her input and was grateful for any advice or tips she offered but that it would be my decision whether to put these things into practice. I also said that many things had changed since she had her son and that she would have to accept that isn't the way things are done anymore. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a happily ever after, we still had our run ins and disagreements but to give her credit when she babysat as far as I am aware she followed my rules. Perhaps you could write your MIL a list of his habits, how often he's going to likely want fed etc and just say to her that you would rather she followed your list as that is what Fin is used to? That way it isn't like you are questioning her parenting skills or anything. Good luck

Starsunshine, that's fantastic that Leo slept for so long during the night, I've had a couple of really good nights sleep the past few nights, makes such a difference when you're not like a zombie all day, lol.

Aw Brunettebimbo I'm sorry to hear that you had such a rough night last night, I'm afraid I don't have any advice to offer as I have no experience of what you're going through, but hugs to you and hopefully it will get better xx

 

[brunettebimbo]

I've begun weaning off the nipple shields and we are doing ok, I still give in at night but during the day I'm trying not too!

Tristan's new thing is being fast asleep on my knee after a feed and then as soon as I put him down he screams What am I supposed to do? I've tried tough love but it upsets us both more.

Anyone else found themselves breaking down in tears due to breastfeeding?

 

[Serenity81]

I've begun weaning off the nipple shields and we are doing ok, I still give in at night but during the day I'm trying not too!

Tristan's new thing is being fast asleep on my knee after a feed and then as soon as I put him down he screams What am I supposed to do? I've tried tough love but it upsets us both more.

Anyone else found themselves breaking down in tears due to breastfeeding?

Alexis is exactly the same hun (I was just saying this is another thread), she could be lying there after I've fed her and I think she is completely sound asleep then as soon as I put her down she wakes up and starts crying. She doesn't really do it during the day but at night I literally do not get a break or get anything done because I am holding onto her. She wont settle for my oh at all, so it has to be me, plus my oh works nightshift so goes to his bed early and I have my three older kids to see to at night aswell so it's not easy. I've tried just leaving her to cry if I am sure she's not hungry, needing changed etc but it makes me far too upset and I end up picking her up because I figure she must be crying for something? I haven't broke down crying with Alexis but when I had my other daughter I found breastfeeding extremely stressful and would frequently cry. She was premature and didn't have a strong enough sucking reflex and breastfeeding was a very stressful thing for us both, so I understand completely how you are feeling. I don't really think that professionals explain how hard breastfeeding can be not just the actual action of doing it and getting it right but the emotional side of it and the demand on the mother. Sending you huge hugs xxxx

 

[veganmum2be]

im having a nightmare breastfeeding!
despite help from various midwives i couldn't get him to latch properly and my nipples were so sore cracked and a bit actualy came off
so i used nipple shields and they were amazing, but now i cant stop using them because his latch hasn't improved and it just hurts. i dont want to be using nipple shields for the rest of breastfeeding but i dont see what else i can do!

how is everyone?
i got weed on this morning at 4am took his nappy off and cleaned his bum then he aimed and peed all over me

 

[Serenity81]

im having a nightmare breastfeeding!
despite help from various midwives i couldn't get him to latch properly and my nipples were so sore cracked and a bit actualy came off
so i used nipple shields and they were amazing, but now i cant stop using them because his latch hasn't improved and it just hurts. i dont want to be using nipple shields for the rest of breastfeeding but i dont see what else i can do!

how is everyone?
i got weed on this morning at 4am took his nappy off and cleaned his bum then he aimed and peed all over me

Aw, I really feel for you I don't have any experience of nipple shields as I've never used them but I've had problems breastfeeding with one of my other children so I know how stressful it can be. Even the other day one of my friends passed a remark about how I took the easy option by breastfeeding! I just laughed and said to her that if she thinks breastfeeding is the easy option then she's obviously never done it. Maybe a lot of women do take to it like a duck to water but there are many many women who have problems and have to persevere to keep it going.
I am doing great today, got loads of housework done this morning as Alexis had a really long sleep when we came back from dropping my other kids off at school and nursery. Then the nurse was out this afternoon (we get staff nurses instead of health visitors now) and she weighed Alexis who is now 10lb 7 and a half ounces! I get weed on regularly as soon as her nappy comes off the wee starts to flow but a boys wee wee is entirely different, I remember my ds getting me right in the face! xx

 

[BeanieBaby]

Hi girls. Can't believe I forgot about this thread. I updated the old one but haven't been on here to say I had my daughter, Sophia Jasmine on 18 October at 12.17pm, weighing 8lb 6.5oz.

She has been doing really well in some respects and i'm completely and utterly in love and in awe of her, but i'm feeling really emotional and hard on myself for other reasons. Basically we are still yet to be signed off by the midwife as she's not put back to her birth weight yet. She went down to 7lb 11oz and although at the last visit yesterday she hadn't lost anymore, she hasn't put on either. The other thing is she's still having v. dark green spinach colour poos and so we were concerned she wasn't getting enough hindmilk (the fattier stuff at the end of the feed). So i've changed the routine and now only feed off one boob per feed (was previously feeding from both as did this with my daughter). We were given some bad advice in the hospital by different midwives re the feeding and latch and it seems she's picked up some bad habits. Although her latch looks good on the surface she is clicking through the feed and my nipples are completely split and are in agony. They said I just need to feed through it and keep using the lansinoh stuff and breast shells to ventilate the nipple but to avoid the shields due to weaning off problems (sorry BB I see you're having probs with this already), but each suck is still agony and I find myself crying through a lot of the feeds now.

Sleeping has got better, until 2 nights ago the longest she'd gone was 1.5-2 hrs as she falls asleep on me but wakes as soon as I put her down. She's done between 2.5-4 hrs though over last 2 nights so improving but not nearly long enough. She is Slightly concerned OH is due back at work Mon as its not good for my 3yr old to see me in pain through feeding. Dying to get back to our routine and get out of the house but can't face public feeding sessions when i'm in such pain and my nipples are so sore like this.

Any advice would be much appreciated, I really don't wanna stop feeding as fed for 5 months with my daughter and know i'm gonna be devestated if I can't get through this.

Congrats to all the new mommies, I haven't been able to read through the whole of this thread to catch up with your stories but will do as soon as I have more time.

Lots of love

Charlie x

 

[Jen1802]

may i ask why many people are using nipple sheilds? i see you all talking about them but dont really know about the

The nipple shields are like little silicone shaped teats which fit over the nipple and areola. They offer some protection to sore or damaged nipples and are useful for helping latch on if they are having difficulties doing so. I'm using them for both reasons, lo can't latch on properly and has given me really sore nipples from incorrect latching all the time. They are useful but if your not having any probs with breast feeding normally don't use them. xo

 

[going_crazy]

Hi Ladies!! I feel like I can finally join this thread properly...... My little girl came home from hospital on Tuesday night She spent 18 days in hospital and is finally well enough to spend some time at home!!

So, our first couple of nights at home weren't too bad. I have to be strict with her and wake her every 4 hours for her feed, which she has 2.5oz of SMA High Energy. She spends about half hour to and hour feeding then goes back to sleep without many problems! She's being cheeky through the day though and thinks that someone should be nursing her at all times! How can I not cuddle her 24/7 after what she's been through?!?!

Nice to see lots of you sticking with the breastfeeding, even when the times are tough - well done!

Hope everyone is enjoying being mummies?!?! xxxxxxxx

 

[Jen1802]

Hi girls. Can't believe I forgot about this thread. I updated the old one but haven't been on here to say I had my daughter, Sophia Jasmine on 18 October at 12.17pm, weighing 8lb 6.5oz.

She has been doing really well in some respects and i'm completely and utterly in love and in awe of her, but i'm feeling really emotional and hard on myself for other reasons. Basically we are still yet to be signed off by the midwife as she's not put back to her birth weight yet. She went down to 7lb 11oz and although at the last visit yesterday she hadn't lost anymore, she hasn't put on either. The other thing is she's still having v. dark green spinach colour poos and so we were concerned she wasn't getting enough hindmilk (the fattier stuff at the end of the feed). So i've changed the routine and now only feed off one boob per feed (was previously feeding from both as did this with my daughter). We were given some bad advice in the hospital by different midwives re the feeding and latch and it seems she's picked up some bad habits. Although her latch looks good on the surface she is clicking through the feed and my nipples are completely split and are in agony. They said I just need to feed through it and keep using the lansinoh stuff and breast shells to ventilate the nipple but to avoid the shields due to weaning off problems (sorry BB I see you're having probs with this already), but each suck is still agony and I find myself crying through a lot of the feeds now.

Sleeping has got better, until 2 nights ago the longest she'd gone was 1.5-2 hrs as she falls asleep on me but wakes as soon as I put her down. She's done between 2.5-4 hrs though over last 2 nights so improving but not nearly long enough. She is Slightly concerned OH is due back at work Mon as its not good for my 3yr old to see me in pain through feeding. Dying to get back to our routine and get out of the house but can't face public feeding sessions when i'm in such pain and my nipples are so sore like this.

Any advice would be much appreciated, I really don't wanna stop feeding as fed for 5 months with my daughter and know i'm gonna be devestated if I can't get through this.

Congrats to all the new mommies, I haven't been able to read through the whole of this thread to catch up with your stories but will do as soon as I have more time.

Lots of love

Charlie x

Oh that sounds like a real nightmare! I really feel for you, my lo, Alex is having probs latching on too but its because she has a tongue tie and just can't get the suction right. She's making that clicking sound all the way through her feeds also and when I was feeding her without the nipple shields it was utter agony...I've actually ended up expressing which my midwife recommended as lo wasn't putting on weight and my nipples were so badly damaged it would give them a chance to heal themselves. Unfortunately I'm still waiting on an appointment from the hospital to get her tongue tie sorted and have ended up using nipple shields once my nipples were healed, it still hurts sometimes even using them. I was worried about bottle/nipple confusion but the community midwife said that nipple/bottle confusion is a bit of a myth and that you are better to start them on both in the first 3 weeks if your only planning on breast feeding for 6 months (which I am!), this totally confused me as I had read the complete opposite and had been told otherwise by the midwives at the hospital but she said that is to discourage people doing both. I suppose you're going to have to weigh up the pros and cons, if you are in such agony that you are crying through feeding sessions like I was then I would express for a couple of days to give yourself a chance to heal then start again with the breast feeding. Did you have any problems with breastfeeding your first one?
xox

 

[starsunshine]

aw Charlie, sounds like you're having a right old time bf'ing. I'm sorry I can't offer advice as Leo is my 1st & feeding well, but hugs is there a bf'ing group local to you that you can get help and support from? Or have you tried la leche league? Aren't they meant to give good advice. I hope you sort it out soon xx

 

[brunettebimbo]

Sucks that we are all having a hard time

We are getting better with the latching but the length of feeds are ridiculous, been feedin for 1.5 hours and still going!

going_crazy, glad your both home

 

[Serenity81]

Congratulations again Charlie and I love the name Sophia, it's beautiful. I'm so sorry to hear that you are having problems with the feeding, sounds awful for you. That's terrible that the midwifes in the hospital gave you such bad advice aswell, they are the one's who are supposed to be in the know and give you the best guidance and now you have to suffer for it.....ridiculous really. I've experienced the same problems as you regarding the sleeping part, from about 5 o'clock at night until bedtime Alexis wont sleep unless I am physically holding her, the second I feed her and put her down she just wakes up, no matter how deep a sleep I think she is in. Mentioned it to the nurse today and she said the only advice she could offer me is to leave her to cry when she is put down She said if it's not her nappy, her needing fed etc then it's okay to just leave her but I honestly don't think I can do this! I feel too sorry for her and figure she must be crying for a reason. Then she kind of contradicted herself by saying that she was still really tiny and would just be wanting mum all the time and that she's too young for a routine and needed to feel secure, then said mummy is her security. I really hope it improves for you soon xx

Hi going_crazy great to see you here! I am so glad that your little one is home and doing well, it must be such a huge relief for you to have her home. I am loving being a new mummy again, I have to pinch myself sometimes though as I really can't believe she's here and the time is just going so quickly, she'll be 5 weeks old on Sunday xx

 

[StonesWife]

Hey girls had my daughter Oct 22... will update more when I have a little more time! Hope everyone is well!!

 

[MadamRose]

Congrats stoneswife.

My breast have started really hurting when Chloe feeds now, 1st time today, im hoping it will just be a little faze. As its mainly when she 1st latches on and then it goes so its not too bad. But its very uncomfy and makes me cringe a bit when she 1st starts sucking.
She is still being really good and only waking once or twice a night, before waking up in the morning at 8-8.30 when we just get up with her

 

[KittyVentura]

So after battling through baby blues, sore nipples, bleeding nipples, Fin coughing up blood (swallowed from my nipples) and me still keeping at BF... I'd finally urned a corner atthe weekend and things were getting much easier.

Anyway I've come down with a nasty bug and it turns out that THAT was all that was needed to make me quit BF.

I just can't do it when I feel so ill so today Fin has been on formula and I know that this is the end of BF for me.



xx

 

[MommyKC]

KV - You did what you had to do, and made a decision based on what's best for you and your baby. Don't feel bad. I beat myself up when I stopped breastfeeding Kyree (at 3 weeks)... I cried and cried about it, but at the end of the day, it saved my sanity and I felt much MUCH happier when it came to feeding time. One thing I learned is I will NOT pressure myself anywhere near as much this time around. Your little man will be just fine!


xx

 

[Serenity81]

Congrats stoneswife.

My breast have started really hurting when Chloe feeds now, 1st time today, im hoping it will just be a little faze. As its mainly when she 1st latches on and then it goes so its not too bad. But its very uncomfy and makes me cringe a bit when she 1st starts sucking.
She is still being really good and only waking once or twice a night, before waking up in the morning at 8-8.30 when we just get up with her

I could have written this post myself! That is exactly how I feel, she latches on, starts sucking and they get really sore. I have to grit my teeth for about two minutes and then the pain disappears xx

 

[Serenity81]

Oh and congratulations StonesWife

Kitty, please don't be hard on yourself, Fin having a happy mummy is important and if you're happy he will be happy. I couldn't breastfeed my last son or daughter. I stopped with my son after about three weeks and my daughter after a few days and the guilt ate me up as I had fed my first son for a whole year but in the end it was best for all of us that I had made that decision xx

 

[KittyVentura]

Congrats stoneswife.

My breast have started really hurting when Chloe feeds now, 1st time today, im hoping it will just be a little faze. As its mainly when she 1st latches on and then it goes so its not too bad. But its very uncomfy and makes me cringe a bit when she 1st starts sucking.
She is still being really good and only waking once or twice a night, before waking up in the morning at 8-8.30 when we just get up with her

Phillippa - Not sure if you're using this already but Lasinoh was my life saver. My nipples were ripped to shreds initially and I was gritting my teeth through the first sucks and having to breath through them like contractions lol. I'd smother my nipples in Lasinoh and let the air get to them as much as poss and it definately helped. It's pricey but well worth the money. Try and keep it cool as the cold soothes and keep it with you every time to feed. It doesn't need wiping off before you feed next and is safe for babies so even if Chloe needed feeding 10 mins after whacking some on you'd not have to wipe it off first.

Thanks Kate & Serenity. I feel mostly bad because I'd really turned a corner with BF. Initially it was really getting me down and was hurting loads and I fought every day to keep going so at the weekend just gone, when suddenly it felt easier, didn't hurt etc I really thought I'd be able to stick at it. I'm more annoyed than anything else that after coming through so much with it I've had to stop for a bug. It actually seems a good choice though. Fin was feeding well from me as he was gaining weight etc but today he seems like a different baby. Instead of fussing near constantly when awake and wanting boob all day (he'd cluster feed for hours) he's really placid and content. Even been cooing today and self settled himself in his basket for a nap... having seen how he is on formula I'd not carry on with BF now even if I could...

Doesn't stop me feeling like I failed myself though...

Meh!

Hope everyone is well xxxx

 

[angelpuss]

Sucks that we are all having a hard time

We are getting better with the latching but the length of feeds are ridiculous, been feedin for 1.5 hours and still going!

going_crazy, glad your both home

1.5hrs...WOW!!! I thought that when Isaac had been feeding for 45 minutes that was bad enough! Most of the time though he only feeds for 10-15 minutes, so I'm hoping that when he gets weighed today that he's put some weight back on

I had been having problems with latching on, but seem to have got it sorted on one side now. The other side though is a different story. It hurts when he first latches on, and then goes okay but as the feed progresses it does start to hurt more and more.

Going crazy, that's awesome news. You must be so pleased to have your little girl home with you

Anyway, must go...he's just started to wake up and is making the "I want feeding...now" sounds!