Oh dear, have I done the wrong thing?

[Katieeeee]

Erm, just wanted to know if I've done the right thing here ladies

Basically the "gentleman" who got me pregnant (probably the only thing I am forever grateful to him for) already has one kid who he is banned from seeing because he beat the mother up allegedly. He got a cation for "battery" and a restraining order.

Anyway to cut a long story short, the guy is literally the most heartless, selfish, irresponsible, immature ******* I have ever met and all he's done since day 1 is cause me misery, stress and unhappiness. We had a HUGE row today where he basically said that if I just pretend the baby isn't his, he will get out of my life and leave me alone forever.

So in my blind rage, I sent a message to his ex/the mother of his child (the one he beat up) on facebook (i've never spoken to her before in my life, she doesn't know I exist nor that I'm pregnant) and basically told her everything and asked for her advice. Have I done the wrong thing here?

 

[booflebump]

I dont know hun. If I was her, I dont know if I would be too amused about being contacted by a stranger pregnant with her ex's child, especially an ex she would rather not have anything to do with. To be honest, I would be inclined to lose a bit of face, and just say the baby wasnt his to get him out of my life if it was me xxx

 

[CharlieP]

Hi... I am inclined to agree with Boofle. He sounds like a nasty piece of work who'd you be better off without. Are you still in some kind of relationship with him or is it easy to just cut him out?

 

[Katieeeee]

I'm not with him no. Things ended when we found out I was pregnant, in other words, he ran a mile.

It's just hard to know what to do, this is my first pregnancy and I can't predict how things will be with or without him involved in our life. All I know is that I really do hate him.

Thanks for the advice guys xx

 

[Tasha]

I dont think you have hun, if he were my ex and had put me through what he allegedly has her, and you contacted me then I would want to talk to you, tell you my side of the story and try to get you away from him.

 

[bloodbinds]

I think what you have to think about here is the baby. Does the baby have a right to know who it's father is? Will you need support (child maintance wise) from the father?

Are you not able to admit to the world that he is the father, yet still have him nothing to do with the baby unless you or him come to some agreement?

 

[Katieeeee]

The only thing I am thinking about here is the baby, and no I have absolutely no problem admitting he's the father! why would I?! he came up with this wacko theory that if he lies and says that he's not the father then he'll get off scott free and won't have to be a part of the child's life. How do you think that makes me feel? Absolutely devestated. my poor baby's dad doesn't even want to know him. That's so heartbreaking.

 

[booflebump]

It is very very sad, and I cant even imagine how you feel. But this baby will have a wonderful mum who will love them very much...be proud of yourself for putting concern for your childs feeling in the future over your own now xxx

 

[CharlieP]

I can only imagine how you are feeling...I think only you can decide whether to involve him or not - I guess even if you wanted to he could still refuse to take part in the baby's life... Just make sure you look after yourself and your baby.

I hope the ex can come bck to you with some informed advice.

Good luck with whatever you decide. xxxxx