Oh gosh, lice?! Should I quit already?

[AllyTiel]

Advice please: I babysit 3 children (9, 12, 15) or more like just supervise until one parent returns from work. The older child has high functioning autism and can't handle the other 2. As of last week he is in a mental institution for doing something inappropriate. That in itself makes me uncomfortable. He will be back next week from that. Last night I was over there with the younger 2 and I noticed the 9 year old was scratching her head alot. I checked her head and sure enough one of my biggest fears, lice. I called her mom and she came home. Looks like the 12 year old boy might have it too, but not near as bad as his sister. Her hair is matted on the bottom cause she doesn't brush it. This job pays very well so that has me hesitant about quitting. Its a very easy job and the hours are convenient. About 9:30pm til 12:30-1:30am. After this I just don't know what to do. I'm very very paranoid about lice and do NOT want to get them. Whats the chanced I would get them if I just sat on a kitchen chair all evening? I have to go over tonight for 3-4 hours and I'm seriously just going to sit on the kitchen chair. Not fun at all, but I so don't want lice. Should I just quit this job? It's only 2 nights a week for an average 7-8 hours a week. I already have a little morning babysitting job. Doesn't pay alot though.

 

[sparkle_1979]

To be honest I think you should quit, doesn't sound like you want to look after these kids and if I was the patents I wouldn't want you looking after them with this attitude

 

[Blah11]

Its just headlice :/ not abig deal sand pretty much every child gets them at least once at some point.

 

[lovelylaura]

Surely they are in bed? so it would be very slim chance you would get them. Use some tea tree shampoo its helps repel them.

 

[lhancock90]

I wouldn't be bothered about lice, but if you have no passion and feel uncomfortable with the children i think its unfair on everyone concerned to continue.

 

[pinkstarbinks]

agree with all the above.

 

[AP]

It sounds like you're just doing it for the job and not the actual point of helping these child to reach their potentials by being well cared for. With all due respect I think the family needs someone who has a bit more passion for the job and empathy for the fact they live with an older child with autism. And lice? Thats just part and parcel of childhood?

You're in the wrong job really

 

[Eleanor ace]

I don't think this is the right job for you, I'd quit and let the family hire someone more suited to it. If you do choose to continue you could just wear a scarf over your hair, and maybe spray water with tea tree oil in it on your hair to repel them.

 

[AllyTiel]

I actually really really enjoy this job and the children are wonderful. They are up while I'm there and we play games and talk together. I get very involved and talk to them about everything. I have, however, had a traumatizing experience with lice as a young adult. It was a huge horrible ordeal. Thus my paranoia. One of the reasons I'm having such a hard time letting this job go is because the family is wonderful. There is an issue with the older son and his inappropriate behavior that has him in the mental home right now, but I felt like I could handle it. I'm sorry my message came across as I don't like the family, as I very much do. I just wrote out my fears without writing the other pros of this job. I've been spending a lot of my time speaking to the older boy about his interests as he is incredibly smart. I even let him stay up later than the younger kids so he can tell me everything. He knows more about technology than I do. I ask him lots of questions and tell him he has good ideas. Which he does. I don't look at him as a boy with autism. If his mom hadn't told me I wouldn't have known. I hope my post didn't come across from looking down on this family, because I absolutely do not! I just started this job a few weeks ago and was loving it. But lice terrify me.

 

[AllyTiel]

I wouldn't be bothered about lice, but if you have no passion and feel uncomfortable with the children i think its unfair on everyone concerned to continue.

The only reasons I feel uncomfortable is because of the lice and the older boy did something really inappropriate earlier this week and they sent him away to the mental home. I didn't want to talk about it but he made a pass at his younger sister.

 

[Eleanor ace]

I'm sorry you had a traumatic experience with lice. When I read your OP I must admit I did take it as you not caring about the children, if you were willing to give up working with them just because they have head lice. But it sounds as though lice are a phobia of yours which I get- I am terrified of spiders and I understand how desperate the need to get away from the thing you're scared of is.
There are things you can do to repel head lice, and hopefully the kids will be rid of them soon. Unfortunately your LO will probably get head lice at some point so it might be good if you can use this situation to help you with your fear, as presumably you don't have to treat the children's hair yourself? Being around lice but not having to treat them might help you to conquer your fear.
With the eldest child, are you concerned about your safety? I don't know what a mental institution is like, is it the same as a psychiatric facility where he'll have counselling? It sounds as though he's a lovely kid who you have a great connection with so it would be sad to leave him and the other children.

 

[amytrisha]

I think if you feel uncomfortable then you shouldn't really carry on, it's not fair on you or the children - works supposed to be somewhere that you do feel comfortable. You say you play with these LOs a lot but if you wanna spend your time sat in the kitchen now do you really wanna carry on?

Maybe wait a couple of weeks, wash your hair with teatree, keep your hair up, wear hairspray & ofc check your hair when you get home then see if their mum has resolved the lice situation, as for their son though unfortunately what has been done has been done xx

 

[Rachel_C]

I think you should talk to somebody about your issue with lice if you plan to continue being around ANY children at any point. Lice are REALLY common, pretty much every parent will have to deal with them at least once and so will anybody who looks after children. It's part of the job like spilled drinks, snotty noses and wobbly teeth. You obviously do care about the kids and you must hate that a fear of lice could stop you working with children or having your own.

 

[laurajo24]

I understand your fears but don't have any advice on what you should do. I just want to know why on earth these children aren't in bed at that time of night? And why is her hair matted? Does the mum not brush it?

 

[MrsPear]

Is it possible just to say that you can't work whilst they've got head lice? I know they should be in bed but kids do wake up[ and need cuddles and so on. Most daycare places etc say that you can't take your children if they have head lice, so I personally think you'd be reasonable to have the same rule that you don't look after children with lice, even though it's night time. x

 

[AllyTiel]

I think you should talk to somebody about your issue with lice if you plan to continue being around ANY children at any point. Lice are REALLY common, pretty much every parent will have to deal with them at least once and so will anybody who looks after children. It's part of the job like spilled drinks, snotty noses and wobbly teeth. You obviously do care about the kids and you must hate that a fear of lice could stop you working with children or having your own.

Lice were never an issue when I was a child as we were homeschooled so I think that helped avoid it in general. The only experience I had with it was as a young married adult when my husband was away in boot camp and it was horrible. I never expected to get it and noone I was close to ever had it. I was a nanny before I had my daughter for several years and I didn't really think about lice to much. My fear didn't stop me from having a child either. I already have a daughter. Like I said, lice was pretty much unheard of around where I lived. In our homeschool group I knew of 2 kids that ever had it and I wasn't friends with them. Not something I expected to come into contact with much as it was never really an issue and seemed very rare. So I was pretty shocked to find this girl had lice.

 

[AllyTiel]

I think if you feel uncomfortable then you shouldn't really carry on, it's not fair on you or the children - works supposed to be somewhere that you do feel comfortable. You say you play with these LOs a lot but if you wanna spend your time sat in the kitchen now do you really wanna carry on?

Maybe wait a couple of weeks, wash your hair with teatree, keep your hair up, wear hairspray & ofc check your hair when you get home then see if their mum has resolved the lice situation, as for their son though unfortunately what has been done has been done xx

The kitchen/dining table is right there beside the couches as they live in an open floorplan apartment. So I'm not secluded or anything. I'm right there beside them when they are on the couches.

I think I'm going to keep the job. I think this family needs me and I enjoy the job. I'm just going to keep serious tabs on the lice issue and make sure it gets resolved. If it doesn't, then I'll rethink.

 

[AllyTiel]

I'm sorry you had a traumatic experience with lice. When I read your OP I must admit I did take it as you not caring about the children, if you were willing to give up working with them just because they have head lice. But it sounds as though lice are a phobia of yours which I get- I am terrified of spiders and I understand how desperate the need to get away from the thing you're scared of is.
There are things you can do to repel head lice, and hopefully the kids will be rid of them soon. Unfortunately your LO will probably get head lice at some point so it might be good if you can use this situation to help you with your fear, as presumably you don't have to treat the children's hair yourself? Being around lice but not having to treat them might help you to conquer your fear.
With the eldest child, are you concerned about your safety? I don't know what a mental institution is like, is it the same as a psychiatric facility where he'll have counselling? It sounds as though he's a lovely kid who you have a great connection with so it would be sad to leave him and the other children.

Yes thats what I was concerned about. My own safety as he seems older than he is. He looks more like a 17 year old than a 15 year old, so he is pretty big. He also has bi-polar and throws things when angry. I have never seen him angry though. If he seems to be getting tense I calm the other kids down so that things are calm. He has never seemed threatning to me before but I'm just trying to be realistic and think, if he would try something with his sister, what would stop him from trying to something with me? Not that I think he would, but of course with his past actions, I can't say Im 100% sure it wouldn't happen.
I really like this kid and he is so smart. He was sitting there explaining an Xbox motor and how to fix it! Way over my head lol.

 

[AllyTiel]

I understand your fears but don't have any advice on what you should do. I just want to know why on earth these children aren't in bed at that time of night? And why is her hair matted? Does the mum not brush it?

The kids stay up til 10:45 typically on the weekend. On a school night its 9:30. They are older, 9,12, and 15. And no, the mom doesn't brush it but blamed it on her daughter for never brushing her own hair. I think the mom is really busy. She's a home health nurse and I'm pretty sure she works alot.

 

[lhancock90]

I just realised your in the USA. There was a lice thread a while back and members in the USA were not used to it at all! But in the UK it seems more common.