Oh My!

[Katielouisa]

My moms best friend had a baby with her Oh from India, well her OH pulled this same thing and so she agreed to send her daughter for 2 weeks, well her OH left her and she never got her daughter back. She never got to see her after that. The last time she got to see her baby was at 2 y/o at the airport. I'm in no way saying that this is what your OH is going to do but this is what happened to my moms bestie. It's sad. Your daughter belongs with you period. I would be very angry with my oh for asking to send my daughter away or any of my kids really. Don't agree to let her go anywhere with out you!!!!

This is exactly what I wanted to say! But didn't know how to put it so it didn't sound rude!There's also the thing about India not being a safe place for babies!

 

[amjon]

My moms best friend had a baby with her Oh from India, well her OH pulled this same thing and so she agreed to send her daughter for 2 weeks, well her OH left her and she never got her daughter back. She never got to see her after that. The last time she got to see her baby was at 2 y/o at the airport. I'm in no way saying that this is what your OH is going to do but this is what happened to my moms bestie. It's sad. Your daughter belongs with you period. I would be very angry with my oh for asking to send my daughter away or any of my kids really. Don't agree to let her go anywhere with out you!!!!

I don't think OH would do that, but she is not going to India without me! They are welcome to come here and visit as long as they would like, but I will not send her there. I'm wondering if this has something to do with telling OH that we are going to have to wait awhile to have the next one as I won't be able to be pregnant and care for a toddler at the same time?

 

[NewMummyTurne]

I'm sure when she's 16 she will love a year out in india.... but 2? really?

 

[kat2504]

No of course you aren't going to ship off your baby girl to a foreign country for a year! Young toddlers need to be with their parents. Even older kids should be with their parents. yes he might want her to learn the culture but really, what dad wants to send his baby away for a year? Wouldn't he miss her terribly? Perhaps he will feel differently about this when she is born.

i would also be wary about horror stories of women not getting their kids back. Sadly these things do happen.

 

[no drama mama]

Um, negative. Two years is double the time you would have spent with her. I can't imagine!

 

[Skadi]

Yeah I'm glad you won't let that happen. That is just an insane request to make. What is the point anyway, what will she even remember later on? I would never ever ever allow that to happen.

 

[amjon]

No of course you aren't going to ship off your baby girl to a foreign country for a year! Young toddlers need to be with their parents. Even older kids should be with their parents. yes he might want her to learn the culture but really, what dad wants to send his baby away for a year? Wouldn't he miss her terribly? Perhaps he will feel differently about this when she is born.

i would also be wary about horror stories of women not getting their kids back. Sadly these things do happen.

I think he may change his mind once she is here too. He hasn't really been able to "meet" her like I have.

 

[Kage76]

It's really cultural and helps take stress off the parents. In my culture kids go stay with grandparents and family during summer breaks. It's family not strangers. Don't take it personally. But it's also difficult to accept cos in West parents are left to it. I wouldn't do it but that's because I my parents are here anyway. It takes a village to raise a child etc.

Why didn't you discuss this before having a child? I don't understand that. Did he just spring it on you? That's not right. But come to a compromise?

Good luck.

i think there is a massive difference between a couple of months and a couple of years in the most formative part of a childs life. If they really need to instill the culture there are other ways to go about it rather than taking all parental responsibility for years at a time. Personally- i envisage my children staying with various family members for holidays but there would be no confusion as to who the main caregivers in their lives were.

 

[baskinps]

Teach them your culture in the country you want them to be raised in by YOU. YOU are baby's mom. Two years is a huge amount of time to take away from raising your baby. Besides, at the age of 3, baby wont even remember whatever culture it learned. I came to Canada when I was 3, and the Polish culture that I have in me was taught to me by my parents whilst living in Canada.