OH Problems.

[LouOscar01]

My OH has got it into his head that I am only with him because I want a baby.

He seems to think that because I want a baby, he isn't enough. He doesn't understand that having him and having a baby are two completely different things and of course my desire for a baby cannot be sorted by anything other than having a baby!!!!!!!!!!!

He thinks that as soon as I have a baby I won't love him any more and that I won't ever want to spend anytime with him.

It's making him feel that he isn't ready for a baby because he doesn't want to lose me. Thing is I just cannot wait much longer. I spend all my free time being down because there doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel. My baby date is non existent now.

I don't know how to prove that I can love him AND a baby. HELP!!!!!!!

 

[BumpySomeday]

Maybe you should ask him why he thinks that? I don't know your situation but you should probably try to find out what's troubling him before you start trying to have a baby.. at least if you want him to stick around.

I don't mean to sound harsh by any means.. but that would be my advice to my friend!

 

[BumpySomeday]

OH PS... do you have a pet? Having a pet together is generally a pretty good first step in any relationship (I think).. maybe that could help in some way? Not sure

 

[wildworld]

Hmm, maybe this is his way of telling you he's not ready for a baby? Something must have got the idea in to his head. Have you been talking non-stop about babies? Sit down and talk to him before it goes any further
xx

 

[RainbowDrop_x]

My husband has said that to me before too, even though we already have our daughter, hearing him say those words really hurt me so I laid off the baby talk, and when I did I realised how much I'd actually talk about it (almost to the point of nagging) so I could definitely see how it was easy for him to think that.

I eventually managed to get that idea out of his head by telling him that if I just wanted a baby any many could give me that. It wasn't a nice thing for me say but I think it made him realise that if it was just a baby I was after I was better off out of his resistance and getting with any man, which I would never do because I want my husbands children,no one else's.

I really hope you manage to sort this out with him

 

[sequeena]

He sounds insecure which I understand. It must be hard for you both the desire for a baby on your side (hormones no doubt at to that!!). His worries about being pushed out because when baby comes he/she will come first. He probably thinks that'll be it for couple time. It'll all be about baby, no time for the 2 of you etc.

My OH felt quite similar and yes at first it was hard balancing a newborn and a relationship (especially as I was healing from giving birth, dealing with sleep deprivation, sore nipples etc) but it gradually got easier.

I'd say for now, if you can, try not to talk so much about having a baby and focus on your relationship. Everyone said that to me enjoy the time you have together because it's the last time it'll be just the 2 of you.

He probably just needs a big cuddle and reassurance that you're not just after his sperm and he does matter quite a lot.

Sorry it's rambling but I think it's something a lot of men struggle with. I even had my moment of 'oh it's all about the baby now' when Thomas was born.