'Older Mums' buddies thread!

[polaris]

Thanks for all the good wishes everybody! I am feeling really excited about it now. We got loads of work done on the house today and everything is coming together which is a great sense of satisfaction. Although we are working hard, I am taking your advice on board about making the most of the time this week. We went out for a nice meal with friends this evening, OH is gone off to the pub with them but I just wanted my bed, LOL, and I'm meeting another friend for lunch tomorrow. I know it might be the last chance for a little while!

Marleysgirl - that is such exciting news - going to go off and check the other thread for details now!!!

 

[Meerkat]

Marleys - Fab news about Andrew x

Polaris - Enjoy your week hon

 

[Stotty]

Thank you to everybody for all the advice. I went on my hen weekend to Edinburgh and started to bleed fresh blood a little. I came home early and my OH took me straight to maternity. I had my bloods done and a urine test all was fine. I had a scan on Tuesday and got a little pic no sign of any bleed must just be old blood clearing out and making it all nice and clean. Baby doing fine and growing nicely I am 10 weeks. Just about to go to see midwife for first time as difficult to get in here. Thanks again to you all. Polaris we will all be thinking of you. Next time I come on you will mummy!!!!

x x

 

[polaris]

Thank you to everybody for all the advice. I went on my hen weekend to Edinburgh and started to bleed fresh blood a little. I came home early and my OH took me straight to maternity. I had my bloods done and a urine test all was fine. I had a scan on Tuesday and got a little pic no sign of any bleed must just be old blood clearing out and making it all nice and clean. Baby doing fine and growing nicely I am 10 weeks. Just about to go to see midwife for first time as difficult to get in here. Thanks again to you all. Polaris we will all be thinking of you. Next time I come on you will mummy!!!!

x x

That's great news, so pleased that everything is good with baby. Good luck with midwife appointment. I found that they don't really want to see you much until after about 20 weeks anyway!

 

[ellie]

Hey there all :wave:
feels like it's been ages since i've been on here ... so much to catch up on ... it's a busy bees thread!

Have been having a bit of a 'crisis' really (hence being mostly quiet) ... i've only just over 4 weeks to go till edd, and although i'm excited i have been feeling REALLY scared ... terrified .. not about the birth itself, but when I try to read anything about afterwards ... I just get overwhelmed, how the f**k am I going to do this??? I can't deal with such a massive change ... what was I thinking? I'm too selfish and lazy and set in my ways, how on earth can I change all that and be a mum? it sounds really hard work and I've no idea how to do it ... I like my job and am just settling into my training ... I will be left behind and how will I catch up ... I don't really feel bonded with my baby at all most of the time, I am a terrible mother

Sorry to bring everyone down ... I really wish someone could tell me this is normal ... on the other hand, I am really grateful and I know so many women would give their arms to be in my position ... and if anything happened to my baby at this point I know I would be totally devastated ... but I am just an awful mother ...


but on a less whingey note:

polaris, sorry to hear about the stubborn baby, i've also heard that 'moxa sticks' have a high success rate in turning baby, and reflexology, but as the c-section is all booked etc then i'm sure it will all be fine ... not nice I know to be having surgery though really good that you will both (hopefully) be coming home really soon, that's so brilliant! glad to hear you've been getting sorted at home, nothing like a deadline eh, spending time in ikea is always good ...

meerkat, sorry to hear you've been poorly, hope you feel better really soon I went in for monitoring at 30 weeks too and all was fine, I felt embarrassed even though they kept reassuring me that that's what they're there for, I still heard the odd comment that it was normal for 30 weeks ... I still get the odd slightly quieter day a few times a week but i've got used to it now ... lucky you didnt actually need the hospital bag eh!
when is your gtt? i did go in for one a couple of weeks ago, it wasnt so bad, the gunk stuff you have to drink is pretty vile and I was really tired, but i took my laptop and sat in the hospital canteen for a bit and the time flew by ... i can empathise with the 'no one knows anything' stuff though, i've found exactly the same with my care too! my test only happened because someone noticed that my dad has type 2 diabetes and it 'should' be routine if you have a first degree relative with it, i also read somewhere that some areas do it if you're over 35, but otherwise it seems to be usually only if something shows up in your blood or urine tests? I also read that that can be perfectly normal in pregnancy, so it's all contradictory!

hi stotty, congrats and glad to hear all is fine! and hope you enjoy the wedding dress fitting next week, you'll look fab i'm sure.

happy birthday and happy anniversary ava
i watched that electric dreams programme too, yes late 70s and 80s were the most nostalgic for me ...found myself wishing i still had a gameboy!

vicky glad to hear the twins are doing so well - might be two girls ?!? any names yet?

tilly - chloe is gorgeous, don't blame her for puking on the i love daddy top though, hahah

seity, hope the scan goes well - do you have any feelings towards it being a girl or boy particularly? i have one of those pregnancy workout dvd's (the y plan?) but have never taken it out of the box have been enjoying my yoga dvd though ...


hope i can feel a bit more cheery soon ... hate to come on here and whinge

 

[polaris]

Hi Ellie,
sorry to hear you are not feeling good at the moment. I think it is natural and normal to be nervous though, it is SUCH a big change! I think we are just maybe more aware of it because we are that bit older or more mature (possibly,LOL!) And also I think when you are working in the area of psychology you are so aware of all the things that potentially can go wrong and worrying will I be a good enough mother, how will I cope, etc. I know that I get plenty of panic moments like that, how will I cope, what if I don't bond properly, what if I'm too anxious and the baby ends up anxious too, etc. etc. It's also quite normal not to feel particularly bonded until after baby arrives, some women do but others don't bond fully until even a few weeks after birth - I know my mother was very worried that she wouldn't bond with my brother because she already had me and she had a horrible pregnancy with him, but when he was born all of her fears went out the window and proved to be groundless.

You have a lot going on with your training and so it's completely understandable to have lots of moments of feeling overwhelmed. But the fact is still that you want this baby and you will love him/her to bits and be a fantastic mummy when he/she arrives. I know it's going to be hard to juggle everything but you can't put your life on hold either - you will manage fine, I am absolutely sure you will! Please feel free to come on here and offload anytime that you want - we are all here to support you - even though we don't know you in 'real' life we care about what is going on with you!!

 

[ellie]

Thanks hon, you're right, it hasn't helped that we've had loads of child development teaching over the past week or so, it's made me feel even more guilty and useless i can't decide whether the adjustment will be fine or a horrible shock (as i've had 37 years of doing what i want when i want!) but i'm sure it will be easier if i can let go of my expectations a bit ...
also my training colleagues (all women and all much younger than me) seem much more excited and can't stop talking about it and asking me questions, they're even throwing me a baby shower, which is sweet of them but i feel like such a fraud
is it normal at this stage?! especially now it's less than a calendar month till edd and i'm in the last box ... I always looked forward to this point so much!

how are you feeling about tuesday anyway? are you all packed and ready?

 

[maybebaby3]

marleys - how exciting that andrew will finally be home! u must be extatic!!!

polaris - a few more days til u meet your baby! Yey!

i have my dating scan on tuesday so am looking 4ward 2 that!!!

 

[maybebaby3]

stotty glad all is ok

ellie the whole baby thing is overwhelming! sometimes it can just feel like 2 much but u wait and c when baby is here u will be fine

 

[tillymum]

Ellie it is perfectly normal to worry and stress in the last stage of your pregnancy after all you are facing one of the biggest life changing events. I think once the bump gets big realisation hits home. Try not to stress about the birth or listen to other womens birth stories good or bad, your birth story will be unique to you.

Like you I worried about how I would cope having been child free for so long and how our lives would change and if I would be a good mother.....but once your LO arrives it just makes sense and your mothering instinct to protect and look after your child takes over. It is hard work but rewarding and you'll have ups and downs when he she arrives but that is normal. Babies dont come with a manual (I wish they did!) but there is alot of support available to get you through

My DH described the pregnancy as getting ready for an important guest that you don't know to arrive, but once the baby arrived it was like we already knew her and she just slotted into our lives like she was always there. Yes your lifestyle will change, but you just have to alter how you do things and your focus changes from being a couple to being a family.

Dont be putting pressure on yourself, just take each day as it comes as a new day and new experience for you and your baby , it's a learning curve but you'll get through it and you'll be fine and all of us and B&B is here to help you through .

 

[ellie]

thanks tilly & maybebaby, it feels a bit better to know that others have an idea what i'm on about and i can say it on here without people locking me up ...... i like the analogy of the guest tilly, that makes a lot of sense. i was wondering whether i needed to rush in a few sessions of therapy before the birth in case these feelings cocked it all up ....
i can't even say it to OH because i have been nagging him about having babies for about 4-5 years now ... he will just say 'well you wanted it' .... which i do, of course!
argh ... blinking hormones .....
hope everyone is doing okay today ?

 

[ellie]

i know what will cheer me up a bit (apart from a bit of positive self talk based on what you wise ladies are saying!) - making some chocolate brownies ... to take to a lunch tomorrow of course, not just for me, although i will have to sample them of course to make sure they are okay .... i'm off to do that now !
and then i will have to start thinking about my dissertation which i am supposed to present next week ... oops ... been too busy feeling sorry for myself so far today to crack on with it ........ brownies will help motivation for that too right ?!?

 

[Stotty]

Bless you ellie I am 39 and last time I gave birth was 17 years ago, totally s******* myself this time around believe me. Don't worry you will be absolutely fine when you see your little babs.

Thanks girls for all nice wishes x x

 

[polaris]

Thanks hon, you're right, it hasn't helped that we've had loads of child development teaching over the past week or so, it's made me feel even more guilty and useless i can't decide whether the adjustment will be fine or a horrible shock (as i've had 37 years of doing what i want when i want!) but i'm sure it will be easier if i can let go of my expectations a bit ...
also my training colleagues (all women and all much younger than me) seem much more excited and can't stop talking about it and asking me questions, they're even throwing me a baby shower, which is sweet of them but i feel like such a fraud
is it normal at this stage?! especially now it's less than a calendar month till edd and i'm in the last box ... I always looked forward to this point so much!

how are you feeling about tuesday anyway? are you all packed and ready?

I am absolutely terrified to be honest with you! We still have a lot of work to do in the house but it is starting to come together and look like a proper house instead of a building site, LOL. I hopefully won't be too embarrassed when the midwife or public health nurse visits! Actually I think it's a good thing that we are very busy because I don't have time to worry about Tuesday or afterwards!

I am pretty much packed but I just need to change things around a bit and put in a few extra pairs of pyjamas and my new C-section support belt that I got today. I also got a breast feeding support pillow from Mothercare, I am really hoping to breast feed, especially since I won't be having the natural birth that I wanted - hope that it works out for me and the C-section doesn't interfere with milk production too much.

 

[ellie]

from what i've read it shouldn't interfere, i'm sure you will both do fine - do you know if you are having a general anaesthetic? And I bet your house is lovely!!! I felt really embarrassed earlier, someone came round to fix the cooker (but failed) and it was filthy from making brownies, I hadn't thought to clean it

 

[polaris]

from what i've read it shouldn't interfere, i'm sure you will both do fine - do you know if you are having a general anaesthetic? And I bet your house is lovely!!! I felt really embarrassed earlier, someone came round to fix the cooker (but failed) and it was filthy from making brownies, I hadn't thought to clean it

No I shouldn't have to have a general anaesthetic so that is definitely a good thing.

Hope you enjoyed your brownies!

 

[Marleysgirl]

Ellie, I'm still having similar fears about how I'm going to cope! I've got rather used to Andrew being cared for by other people for 12 hours a day, and I know that when I get him home, I'll have to cope with grumpyness on my own (well, with OH). Don't suppose I can kidnap a NICU nurse and hold her hostage to care for him

 

[ellie]

worth a try ?!?!
feeling a bit envious of friends who currently live in costa rica, where its super cheap to have a full time nanny and cleaner for their 1 year old, but theyre about to move to cardiff where that might not be so cheap! hostages might be the way to go ....

 

[maybebaby3]

lol if only hired help was not so expensive!

 

[Meerkat]

Stotty - Glad you're ok hon and the bloods were all as they should be. Let us know how the dress fitting goes! x

meerkat, sorry to hear you've been poorly, hope you feel better really soon I went in for monitoring at 30 weeks too and all was fine, I felt embarrassed even though I went in for monitoring at 30 weeks too and all was fine, even though they kep reassuring me that that's what they're there for, I still heard the odd comment that it was normal for 30 weeks ... I still get the odd slightly quieter day a few times a week but i've got used to it now ... lucky you didnt actually need the hospital bag eh!
when is your gtt? i did go in for one a couple of weeks ago, it wasnt so bad, the gunk stuff you have to drink is pretty vile and I was really tired, but i took my laptop and sat in the hospital canteen for a bit and the time flew by ... i can empathise with the 'no one knows anything' stuff though, i've found exactly the same with my care too! my test only happened because someone noticed that my dad has type 2 diabetes and it 'should' be routine if you have a first degree relative with it, i also read somewhere that some areas do it if you're over 35, but otherwise it seems to be usually only if something shows up in your blood or urine tests? I also read that that can be perfectly normal in pregnancy, so it's all contradictory!

Thanks Ellie I'm feeling loads better thanks. Nice to see you again hon, sorry to hear you've been having a rubbish time recently. Try not to worry too much, I think you're right it is pretty damn scarey being a new mum and wondering if you'll be a crap one or not! And I don't know as I've not had any children before, but I think you'll find it will all fall into place when the baby arrives. And from what I can work out most women never stop worrying about whether or not they are good Mums! So don't beat yourself up, you're totally normal x

Got my glucose test on Weds morning but I don't know whether or not I'll get the results there and then or not. They tell me nothing and I second guess most of what's likely to happen to me these days.

I still have days where LO is quiet but I don't worry so much now. Although my MW said to me the other day that I should be on zero tolerance now and that if anything seems amiss from now on I should call the hospital straight away. She scared me a bit to be honest as I've been feeling quite chilled out recently.