OMG....bfp but feel awful

[BabyPotter]

I already have a LG (6) and me and my current partner moved in to our new house 12mths ago. Since then we decided I would stop taking my pill... nothing happened.

In August i had an accident on the stairs and fractured my spine in 2 places. After a week in hospital and 10wk off work i have been back for 4wks although I am still wearing my moulded TLSO brace for support at work at the minute.

Anyhow we DTD a few times and this morning I just felt off so checked FFriend to se when AF is due and it was today. Tested and a BFP.. a VERY dark BFP.

My issue is I feel so guilty as one of my close friends has just had a failed IVF cycle. She will be trying again in Jan as she has paid for 2 courses... but i feel so guilty, i was going to wait until she got a BFP to actively try again (plus i thought it would be better to get the all clear in February from the spinal consultant before trying)... too late.

Also we booked a weekend break to amsterdam with OH parents, between xmas and new year only last night!

 

[Bevziibubble]

Congratulations! I hope you feel better soon

 

[FinallyBFP]

I already have a LG (6) and me and my current partner moved in to our new house 12mths ago. Since then we decided I would stop taking my pill... nothing happened.

In August i had an accident on the stairs and fractured my spine in 2 places. After a week in hospital and 10wk off work i have been back for 4wks although I am still wearing my moulded TLSO brace for support at work at the minute.

Anyhow we DTD a few times and this morning I just felt off so checked FFriend to se when AF is due and it was today. Tested and a BFP.. a VERY dark BFP.

My issue is I feel so guilty as one of my close friends has just had a failed IVF cycle. She will be trying again in Jan as she has paid for 2 courses... but i feel so guilty, i was going to wait until she got a BFP to actively try again (plus i thought it would be better to get the all clear in February from the spinal consultant before trying)... too late.

Also we booked a weekend break to amsterdam with OH parents, between xmas and new year only last night!

Please do not feel guilty as someone who went through a miscarriage and a failed IVF cycle I would feel so uncomfortable if my friend was feeling guilt to share her news with me. I don’t know how she is as a person and most people do feel slight heartache when a friend announces a pregnancy but it soon wears off. Me personally I work with children so I’ve always been around babies so it never bothered me when a friend was pregnant. If anything it brought me sanity sharing her pregnancy journey with me and watching her baby grow. I adored her little girl and had a really close bond with her. It is a heartbreaking process infertility and many women do think to themselves when will it be my turn but we get over that initial feeling and pick ourselves back up and carry on with life. Just reassure her that her time will come I never thought it would happen for me I started to accept that motherhood may not be for me and then my second round of IVF was successful xx please enjoy your pregnancy and put yourself first! X

 

[BabyPotter]

I already have a LG (6) and me and my current partner moved in to our new house 12mths ago. Since then we decided I would stop taking my pill... nothing happened.

In August i had an accident on the stairs and fractured my spine in 2 places. After a week in hospital and 10wk off work i have been back for 4wks although I am still wearing my moulded TLSO brace for support at work at the minute.

Anyhow we DTD a few times and this morning I just felt off so checked FFriend to se when AF is due and it was today. Tested and a BFP.. a VERY dark BFP.

My issue is I feel so guilty as one of my close friends has just had a failed IVF cycle. She will be trying again in Jan as she has paid for 2 courses... but i feel so guilty, i was going to wait until she got a BFP to actively try again (plus i thought it would be better to get the all clear in February from the spinal consultant before trying)... too late.

Also we booked a weekend break to amsterdam with OH parents, between xmas and new year only last night!

Please do not feel guilty as someone who went through a miscarriage and a failed IVF cycle I would feel so uncomfortable if my friend was feeling guilt to share her news with me. I don’t know how she is as a person and most people do feel slight heartache when a friend announces a pregnancy but it soon wears off. Me personally I work with children so I’ve always been around babies so it never bothered me when a friend was pregnant. If anything it brought me sanity sharing her pregnancy journey with me and watching her baby grow. I adored her little girl and had a really close bond with her. It is a heartbreaking process infertility and many women do think to themselves when will it be my turn but we get over that initial feeling and pick ourselves back up and carry on with life. Just reassure her that her time will come I never thought it would happen for me I started to accept that motherhood may not be for me and then my second round of IVF was successful xx please enjoy your pregnancy and put yourself first! X

Thank you. She is an absolutely amazing friend and is always there for me no matter what... she's a star and i know she will be happy for me but I'm still very unsure about how to approach it as its still so raw for her. I will discuss it with OH tonight and maybe we keep it to ourselves until the scan (prob Jan). Xx

 

[DaTucker]

Definitely don't feel guilty! Each of my pregnancies took over 3 years to achieve and the entire time I had so many friends and family be scared to tell me when they got pregnant because they felt guilty and didn't want to hurt my feelings. I honestly was so happy for each and every one of their pregnancies! I might have felt a twinge of sadness for myself and dh, but I was genuinely happy to be able to experience it with them. I know different women have different ways of reacting, but I bet since she's such an amazing friend to you she'll be happy for you.

 

[justonemore31]

Congrats!
I understand you feel bad but just try and keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and the time is right for you right now and for whatever reason it may not be right for your friend at the moment but her time WILL come. My bff had several miscarriages and one of them being a month or so ago. I thought I was pregnant last cycle and she got really upset and told me it isn't fair if I am and she isn't and that hurt me alot and the reason she felt it wasn't fair is simply because I already have kids so I shouldn't be having another when she lost hers. I totally understand where she's coming from but it hurt ALOT and then she went on to say to promise her I'll get my tubes tied. I was so mad. I def understand how you're feeling but again different situations for different people are different times. You should be happy and excited no matter what. She will eventually get passed it and listen, if she doesn't then you just keep your distance till she ever does.

 

[FinallyBFP]

Congrats!
I understand you feel bad but just try and keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and the time is right for you right now and for whatever reason it may not be right for your friend at the moment but her time WILL come. My bff had several miscarriages and one of them being a month or so ago. I thought I was pregnant last cycle and she got really upset and told me it isn't fair if I am and she isn't and that hurt me alot and the reason she felt it wasn't fair is simply because I already have kids so I shouldn't be having another when she lost hers. I totally understand where she's coming from but it hurt ALOT and then she went on to say to promise her I'll get my tubes tied. I was so mad. I def understand how you're feeling but again different situations for different people are different times. You should be happy and excited no matter what. She will eventually get passed it and listen, if she doesn't then you just keep your distance till she ever does.

What on earth did I just read get your tubes tied for her?! My god I would be so heartbroken if my “friend” said that to me you are a strong woman to still be able to see where she is coming from but seems a bit bellow the belt

 

[justonemore31]

What on earth did I just read get your tubes tied for her?! My god I would be so heartbroken if my “friend” said that to me you are a strong woman to still be able to see where she is coming from but seems a bit bellow the belt

Yeah when I told my parents and DH they were like oh hell no you need to dead her altogether. But idk I'm one of those ppl who keep trying even when I shouldn't. We have had a lot of issues. I'm pregnant now and she knows. It took her a while to say congrats. Again I get her pain I really do but at the same time I have feelings as well .

 

[Perplexed]

Congrats!
I understand you feel bad but just try and keep in mind that everything happens for a reason and the time is right for you right now and for whatever reason it may not be right for your friend at the moment but her time WILL come. My bff had several miscarriages and one of them being a month or so ago. I thought I was pregnant last cycle and she got really upset and told me it isn't fair if I am and she isn't and that hurt me alot and the reason she felt it wasn't fair is simply because I already have kids so I shouldn't be having another when she lost hers. I totally understand where she's coming from but it hurt ALOT and then she went on to say to promise her I'll get my tubes tied. I was so mad. I def understand how you're feeling but again different situations for different people are different times. You should be happy and excited no matter what. She will eventually get passed it and listen, if she doesn't then you just keep your distance till she ever does.

That's absolutely crazy. Not a good friend at all. Life does feel unfair a lot of the time but we have no right to blame others for it.

OP: if she's a good friend she will be happy for you. Even if it still hurts her at first it may take some time. As another person said if it continues to be hurtful then all you could do is keep your distance. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

 

[BabyPotter]

That's absolutely crazy. Not a good friend at all. Life does feel unfair a lot of the time but we have no right to blame others for it.

OP: if she's a good friend she will be happy for you. Even if it still hurts her at first it may take some time. As another person said if it continues to be hurtful then all you could do is keep your distance. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

Thank you hun.
We're all at a spa weekend this weekend all weekend and i tried on my bikini.... Not sure I will get away with this bloat when im usually quite slim.....its pretty obvious... teamed with not drinking too! May just say my backs sore after swimming so took my codine and cant drink on them.... god knows. May have to cross that bridge on sat!