One shot chances?

[ryekamasaki]

I really only had two issues during my pregnancy: the first was that over the whole thing I only gained about 10 pounds. My Dr even had me drinking chocolate shakes made with instant breakfast powder to try and help me gain weight, but it didn't work. The second was that near his due date I had some pain and an ultrasound showed that his cord was wrapped around his neck, but it wasn't really a big deal they said, but we induced a couple days early just to be safe.

 

[ryekamasaki]

Well, looks like the full fledged river has shown up. Boo.

 

[RaspberryK]

Oh. No! This is rubbish, my buddy is out! ... Are you 100% certain? :/ xx

 

[ryekamasaki]

Oh, yeah, it's definitely full force. So disappointing, especially after that spotting and stopping thing. That never happens to me.

 

[RaspberryK]

Is there no talking to your dh about having another? You got to at least replace yourselves as your contribution to the population xx

 

[ryekamasaki]

Haha, that's one way to look at it! But really I don't know. I think it depends on him deciding if I'm a good enough wife/mother/person to have another. That will probably take a while if it ever happens. :/

 

[RaspberryK]

That's such an awful attitude for him to have.
Marriage should be a partnership , one person shouldn't be in charge of making all the decisions.
Has he said those actual words to you?
Xx

 

[ryekamasaki]

Well, it's basically what he said when he had his change of heart after our Christmas incident. He started out saying that we were bad parents, then everything he listed was mostly stuff in my control, and he wound up saying that, yes, I'm a bad parent. I dunno, maybe I can be hard on my son, but I just want him to grow up good. I don't abuse him, he eats and sleeps and everything, he's happy. I dunno, we probably won't wind up having another. It shouldn't be this hard just to decide.

 

[RaspberryK]

Obviously I don't know the ins and outs but sounds like mentally abusive behavior from your dh to you. I'm sure you're a great mummy xx

 

[ryekamasaki]

Hey, I'll be the first to admit that I can be mean. It must seem that way to people who don't know how I raise Kevin, but overall I think I'm at least a decent parent. He has food and shelter, he gets baths and toys, he plays and goes to school, and he knows that everyone loves him. Maybe I just have to be more marshmallow-y like my husband is. At least when he's around.

As for him being mentally abusive to me, I can't say that he is or is not, but we've been together so long, and when he's not a jerk I really do love him.

 

[RaspberryK]

I know what you mean I feel the same, dh is like the old dh now since he's been regularly taking anti depressants.
I'm not soft on ds either, the in laws think I'm mean but I don't stand for any nonsense and he's such a lovely boy.
I don't let him get away with thinks based on his age " Oh he's only 2, give him this, distract him with chocolate. ..
Xx

 

[ryekamasaki]

Exactly! Mine's 5, but it's basically the same. I just want him to grow up well behaved and not a spoiled brat. My in-laws definitely think I'm mean, but they don't really like me anyway.

 

[drudai]

I agree with you ladies. x We're not mean moms, we're old school. Parents used to be able to yell at their children, but now if you even consider it, Oh my god someone call DCFS!! DS is only 3 months old, but my niece is 2yo. My sister doesn't believe in discipline, would rather bribe her with chocolates and sweet tea. It's disgusting. My niece is smart as a whip, but knows she can manipulate my sister to no end. When she cries, she literally cries "chooooclaaaate" (aka, if you give me chocolate I'll stop crying!)... Me and DH believe in spanking still. I know this site is rather... attachment/coddling/anti-spanking, but I see so many misbehaved children nowadays, screaming bloody murder in the stores...

When I was a kid, my mom would drag my butt to the bathroom and tell me what time of day it was, if I started crying/being a brat... Can't do that anymore. :/

 

[RaspberryK]

I try not to smack , but I have done, and will do so again if I feel it's required.
I don't have to raise my voice often, but have no qualms in doing it if I need to.
We tend to do time out/naughty step at the moment which works and I explain to him and he understands perfectly.
I have to say I'm not a cry it out parent though and some may think I have pandered to him in that respect but I have no problems with him throwing crying fits or tantrums about not having something, or bedtime it just doesn't happen.
I'm quite happy to let him have a tantrum in public on the floor and ignore it and tell him I'm here for him when he's done. I then tell him firmly that I understand his frustration but this isn't acceptable behaviour in public.
Oh boy have I had some looks, not in quiet areas or anything we'd just remove to outside.
We all have our own methods and reasons but I really can't stand the idea of a brat child.
Xx

 

[ryekamasaki]

Growing up for me meant you got punished if you misbehaved, whether you were in public or not. My son is at the point where even when I threaten spankings sometimes he doesn't care until I actually smack him, then he realizes that I am serious. He's in kindergarten now and never went to school/daycare before, so I know sometimes he sees the other kids do stuff and he wants to try it too. There will be a point when he realizes there's no point in misbehaving and will stop, just like I did when I was younger. He is remarkably more well behaved than the average kid nowadays, so I think I'm doing fine!

My youngest brother got spoiled by my grandfather and for some reason my parents didn't discipline him the same way as they did me and my other brother, and he's almost 21 now and still a giant spoiled brat. I dread that happening to my kid(s).

 

[drudai]

We're gonna have the loveliest boys around ladies!!

 

[ryekamasaki]

Yes we are!!