Others smoking around your children

[kissesandhugs]

I had a "Facebook friend" who posted a rant about her OH taking her 2 daughters to a friends house & these friends smoke cigarettes. I'll post what it said or along the lines at the least...

.. If my kids come back smelling like cigarettes I'm gonna freak out ! I have been trying SO damn hard to not allow people to smoke around MY kid's , especially when it comes to *** && her respiratory problems . My kid's don't need to breath that nasty shit in . Not only that , but I find it disrespectful to smoke around other people's kid's when they know the parent doesn't want anyone smoking around them

then her second post

Yep .. My kid's came back smelling like smoke -________- NOT COOL !!!!!! Never again I guess .

I commented on it and said that I don't allow LO to be around smoke at all and most of our friends know and respect this. But sometimes someone doesn't know or doesn't think. Then I take him somewhere else bc it isn't their issue.

In other words, If that's the case then I'm not going to "make" them (smoker) go somewhere else. I take my child to a different spot, different room, outside etc etc. It isn't someone else's responsibility, IMO. I do think that a smoker should take it into consideration, definitely. But I'm not going to force someone to do something they don't want to for the sake me or my child. It's my responsibility to take my child out of that environment. In her first status she says "I have been trying SO damn hard to not allow people to smoke around MY kid's" These people are adults. To say "to not allow people..." kind of shows to me that she thinks shes authority and that she should have control over other peoples actions.

Maybe I'm reading into it too much but I would like respectful opinions on this subject. TIA!

 

[sparkle_1979]

I don't think any adult should light up around a child and I'd be pretty upset if someone did around my little girls. I think she has a point to be honest

 

[louandivy]

I would be pretty annoyed if anyone smoked indoors around Ivy (not that anyone I know would do that!) but if I met up with a friend outdoors then I wouldn't dictate to them whether they can or can't smoke tbh...Ivy is exposed to smoke so rarely that I am not going to have a hissy fit over it if its outside. We take her to festivals and street fairs and stuff so we have to be pretty relaxed about it! It is so rare that she is around smoke though.

 

[Leesy]

As an ex smoker I would never have lit up around a child, whether it be my own a friends or a complete strangers. Even sitting in an outdoor area that allows smoking if a child was present i would move away. That's just me though, I was very conscience about it. Now If I was in that posittion and someone was smoking near my child I would move away. Some people think & some don't & others just don't care.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Indoors, a big no-no.

Outdoors? Fair game, as long as the kid isn't too close.

 

[onetwothreebp]

I think she has a point, to be honest. I don't 'let' people smoke around my son. Perhaps that sounds like I'm being a big old bossy bitch, but it's the truth. I WILL dictate your habits if you're in my territory. I would also never take my son over to somebody's house if I know they're a smoker because that's not fair to them. That's their home and they have a right to do it. If we're in a public place, then okay, I will remove myself and my son, but you'll know I'm not happy. I feel VERY strongly about smoking and I don't believe we should coddle smoker's feelings.

 

[kissesandhugs]

I do not mean at my house. There is absolutely no smoking in here anyways. I do mean outside or someone else's house. Outside it's not hard to move your child somewhere else, and it's not hard for a smoker to go somewhere else either. But if I'm at someone else's house I'm not going to say "you need to move over there" it's their house and that's rude.. I've never taken Isaiah into a "smoking" house though.

 

[pinklightbulb]

In a public designated smoking area I have been abused. That is madness. If someone huffed over to me yelling about the child with them while I was in one of these (and it has happened) they would find me telling them to @#!$ off, quite bluntly. A few have been on the receiving end of that!

It's a little trickier elsewhere. At my house, I will still stand a distance away, or put myself in the shed, and will smoke away from the house completely if I am at a non-smoker's house.

And in a public place where there is no signpost saying no smoking, well, #$@! off would also apply, sorry. If someone has a problem with me doing something legal where it doesn't say it's illegal to do it, it's on them to move, not me. I've had people stand stupidly close, and then keep moving with me as I inch away, and then start in on me about what a @#^$@! I am for smoking "around the children" and whatnot. If it really meant so much to them, what were they doing hanging around?

Sometimes non-smokers do my head in. Smokers are damned if they do, and damned if they don't, just from the above examples.

 

[onetwothreebp]

And sometimes smokers do my head in. Just because it's a public place and you're legal to smoke there, doesn't mean you should. It's pretty frustrating to take your child to a park for fresh air and have to wade through a bunch of cigeratte smoke.

 

[Larkspur]

I don't like smoking around my baby but in a public space like a park where it's totally legal, or their own home, I don't think I have any right to ask smokers not to smoke, any more than some random person has the right to ask me not to breastfeed. I have the right to move away or not go there if I don't want my kid exposed.

What I'm most interested by is the fact that your friend posted all this on Facebook - naming names and all?!? Passive-aggressive much? Could she not have just talked to the people?

 

[kissesandhugs]

Yep ya pinned it. She's constantly posting things like this. I want to delete her but if I'm honest it can be entertaining One of the people that she was referring to actually commented on it confronting her and asking why she couldn't tell them instead of posting it on Facebook.. The name though, she was referring to her daughter. Although, everyone knows who she is talking about. It's a Small town!

 

[onetwothreebp]

I don't like smoking around my baby but in a public space like a park where it's totally legal, or their own home, I don't think I have any right to ask smokers not to smoke, any more than some random person has the right to ask me not to breastfeed. I have the right to move away or not go there if I don't want my kid exposed.

It just seems so counter-productive!

I also live in a small town where majority of people will smoke RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR so it's impossible to get in/out with my son without him breathing it in. People also go to the parks and smoke loads of weeds, making it hard to take him there. So frustrating sometimes.

 

[steph.]

This is one of my pet peeves! It annoys me soooo much! If someone is outside then I will move away, but if you are at a children's playground or a bus stop, then its unfair of them to light up. You can move away and miss the bus, or take your kid home without playing but you shouldnt have to. Even though its legal its incredibly selfish not to care about others.

Indoors its a big no-no. Even if you are at a smoker's house i dont think they should do it. Everyone knows smoke is bad for you, I think its really rude to expose someone's kids to that. Why cant they go outside to smoke or smoke out the window while the kids are visiting? Its not that much to ask.

Also its not like breastfeeding. Me breastfeeding my daughter does not physically affect anyone. They can feel uncomfortable, but its not doing anyone any harm.

 

[kissesandhugs]

This is one of my pet peeves! It annoys me soooo much! If someone is outside then I will move away, but if you are at a children's playground or a bus stop, then its unfair of them to light up. You can move away and miss the bus, or take your kid home without playing but you shouldnt have to. Even though its legal its incredibly selfish not to care about others.

Indoors its a big no-no. Even if you are at a smoker's house i dont think they should do it. Everyone knows smoke is bad for you, I think its really rude to expose someone's kids to that. Why cant they go outside to smoke or smoke out the window while the kids are visiting? Its not that much to ask.

Also its not like breastfeeding. Me breastfeeding my daughter does not physically affect anyone. They can feel uncomfortable, but its not doing anyone any harm.

I don't think they should do it but it's also not my place (or anyones imo) to tell them they have to leave their house to smoke. If I want to visit a smokers home (haven't come across it yet) then I should respect their home and their choices. If I don't want my child around it, then I would take him away from it. Not the other way around. It's not the homeowners/smokers responsibility, my son is my responsibility. That's how I see it.

 

[lhancock90]

I don't let anyone smoke around my kids and i'd be pissed if anyone thought it was okay to do so. However i don't take them to smokers houses as its not fair to expect them not to smoke in their own home.

 

[shellideaks]

I wouldn't want people smoking around my kids, and I would tell them so if it were in my home. I'd avoid going to anyone's house that does smoke and luckily I don't have to.

The thing that angers me the most is that when I go to pick up DS from school there's about 5 mums who all stand right outside the gate smoking. I have to walk past them with DD to get in the school grounds and then walk out with DS too. The gate is only the size of a normal doorway and considering just how many kids are coming out from there I think it's terrible that they stand there and smoke. I'm actually thinking about complaining to the school to see if they can make them move a bit further away.

 

[pinklightbulb]

Of course it's not fair to light up where other people are subjected to it. That's why I said I always light up a distance away, in a public place. If someone comes over to me and starts about it, where the area is not signposted and the non-smoker chose to come to where I am standing, that's when they get @#!$ off. I have placed myself at a reasonable distance and don't deserve to be harassed. That's my pet peeve.

 

[Piper84]

I don't find the post annoying, but if she's always posting passive aggressive stuff about her kids I can see how it would be annoying!

I'm the same as a few of the ladies on here. I just don't take LO to smoking households. I wouldn't presume to tell the inhabitants not to smoke in front of my child if it's their territory though.

One of the things that annoys me the most is when it's pouring with rain and you stand under a bus shelter with the buggy and all the smokers are huddled in there lighting up and breathing their shit into other people's faces including kids...

I was always polite enough not to breathe my tar, nicotine, benzine and carbon monoxide into other people's faces at close proximity [/ex-smoker rant]

 

[sue_88]

I dictate smoking at my house. If you are visiting me (for an hour or 3 days) you will not smoke in, on or near my property. If you smell of smoke you'll either be asked to leave immediately or go freshen up.

It's dusgusting and in no way should I be exposed to it.

I'd never willing enter a beer garden because they are just clouds of smoke, nor would I visit a smokers house. I have a few friends who smoke in their own home and ask why I don't go round for a visit and I simply tell them because I don't want to subject myself to old cigarette smoke nor do I wish to smell of it.

Public places, I avoid smokers and I cover my face, I will do the same with Millie and I will cover her face until we are quickly past.

Smoking in a childrens park is just....well disgusting behaviour. I have't experienced that yet - but if I did you'd sure get a wicked speech from me and evil glares until you put it out...or left the area.

As you can see ... I have very strong views on the matter!

 

[Pearls18]

God help anyone who smokes around my child, my friends and family have the intelligence, sense and courtesy not to light up around children, it's a disgusting and rude habit and if someone blows smoke near me I make a dirty look or comment so god only knows what I'd do if they did it around my son. It is their habit, they should move to do it. I don't know people who smoke in their homes, but if they did I would damn right expect them not to smoke while my son is in the room (we probably wouldn't be around there anyways). I've not had this problem though because I genuinely don't know people who smoke around children. The sooner smoking is banned completely in public, the better. This is one of my black and white topics!