Others smoking around your children

[steph.]

This is one of my pet peeves! It annoys me soooo much! If someone is outside then I will move away, but if you are at a children's playground or a bus stop, then its unfair of them to light up. You can move away and miss the bus, or take your kid home without playing but you shouldnt have to. Even though its legal its incredibly selfish not to care about others.

Indoors its a big no-no. Even if you are at a smoker's house i dont think they should do it. Everyone knows smoke is bad for you, I think its really rude to expose someone's kids to that. Why cant they go outside to smoke or smoke out the window while the kids are visiting? Its not that much to ask.

Also its not like breastfeeding. Me breastfeeding my daughter does not physically affect anyone. They can feel uncomfortable, but its not doing anyone any harm.

I don't think they should do it but it's also not my place (or anyones imo) to tell them they have to leave their house to smoke. If I want to visit a smokers home (haven't come across it yet) then I should respect their home and their choices. If I don't want my child around it, then I would take him away from it. Not the other way around. It's not the homeowners/smokers responsibility, my son is my responsibility. That's how I see it.

Oh yes, i would never say anything, just take my kids away. I didnt even say anything when my great-aunty lit up at my parents place right on top of my 9 month old and my sister's newborn. I just took the babies into another room, though inside i was feeling quite annoyed how thoughtless she was.

Pinklighbulb i dont agree with people coming up to you and harassing you is fair either, especially if you have moved away or are in a smoking zone and people have the choice not to be there. Some people do get on their high horse and take it too far, so i do feel for you.

 

[pinklightbulb]

It is silly when people drive cars, which have exhausts, lol. It makes me go "Huhhhhh? All righty then!" I don't drive, so my share of chemicals in the air is probably less than that of a non-smoker who drives every day.

 

[staralfur]

It depends on the situation. I don't know any smokers really, so have never dealt with it, but if I went to a friend's house who smoked then I'd hope they had the common courtesy not to smoke while my LO was there. If they did smoke, I would just leave. I don't think it's my place to tell someone not to smoke in their own home.

But if I were sitting in a bus shelter and someone came in and lit up I would say something like "Do you realize that there's a child in here?" and if they apologized and left, fine. If they ignored me I'd probably lose my shit on them.

As for smoking in public places... even if it is legal, if it's a place where you're bound to run into kids or a highly populated area, I don't like it.

 

[staralfur]

Oh and I HATE people who pull those dramatics on Facebook. One of my pet peeves.

 

[pinklightbulb]

I always do my best to be courteous. Sometimes it is indeed the non-smoker who is not. I have no problem with someone telling me to move along if I'm in an area I didn't realise is non-smoking or a little too close to someone for their liking. That's fine. It's the overzealous "OMG your one cigarette near me will give me and my child emphysema!!!! #%#@@^ SMOKERS!!!" people that make me want to bash my head against a wall, lol.

 

[onetwothreebp]

It is silly when people drive cars, which have exhausts, lol. It makes me go "Huhhhhh? All righty then!" I don't drive, so my share of chemicals in the air is probably less than that of a non-smoker who drives every day.

Yes, because car exhaust is as likely to give you lung cancer as smoking a cigarette is

 

[pinklightbulb]

Why shouldn't it be? It has a lot of the same chemicals in it

 

[Sarahkka]

I get your point. When someone is driving some honking, big, gas-guzzling machine, there is a small element of hypocrisy in that person complaining about smoking being a source of air pollution. But only a small one. While there is certainly a LOT that needs to be addressed when we are talking about the overconsumption and pollution due to a fossil-fuel-dependent human population, there is an important distinction between cars (or any industrial source of air pollution for that matter) and smoking:
smoking is a recreational choice. There is NOTHING about it that is necessary. Yet it continues to be a significant source of mortality and disease. It is not acceptable that a smoker gets to impose their choice and risk on other people.
The collective pollution that society creates from fossil fuels is currently deeply connected to meeting our needs and functioning as a society. We certainly need to change how much we are emitting, but right now, we only have so much choice about how we can do that.
A smoker has all the choice in the world NOT to light up.

 

[Wildfire81]

No smoking anywhere near my son, or me for that matter. No smoking in my car, either. If I visit a family member they know to take it outside, and not just when we are there. Smoke lingers so if they smoke in the house EVER it is still dangerous, and they know I will not tolerate this.
If people are smoking in a non smoking area, say right outside the doctor or hospital, I will always speak up too. If I go through a smoking area, then I expect smoke, otherwise, nope.

 

[vaniilla]

I hate people smoking around children too, especially at hospitals, it seems there are people constantly standing by the children's outpatients smoking even though the hospital and all of the grounds around it are a non smoking place and have huge signs everywhere pointing this out, people still do it

 

[pinklightbulb]

I don't see smoking as a choice. Quitting isn't as easy as it might seem for a lot of us, and often we never meant to get addicted at all. The mistake I made in choosing to smoke as a teen-- when one's brain is not fully developed-- shouldn't allow me to be targeted, and a lot of the time rudely-- by overzealous people just because they made a better choice in their life, or managed to stop smoking if they ever started.

I think non-smokers sometimes forget that smoking IS still legal in places. And I do get abused in public places where it's legal. That's overkill, to me.

I know a lot of people feel strongly about public smoking, but until it's ever law that nobody can do it, unfortunately, non-smokers are going to have to accept it. We don't make the laws about public places. Do as my country has done and lobby your local council for more smoke-free areas if you feel so strongly-- but abusing me won't make any difference, so I don't see why it's OK to do it.

**All yous are general 'cause it's a debate and all.

 

[Sarahkka]

Good point, pinklightbulb - choice is also debatable when we are talking one of the most addictive substances we know.
May I ask - do you find that you smoke less now that it is less convenient to do so? For example, does the thought of trekking way out the door in crappy weather ever make you decide not to have a smoke?
I was a "social smoker" and really noticed when the smoking ban in pubs happened. It totally cut down my smoking.
You keep mentioning that it is not illegal. I don't think making it illegal would work (we've all seen how well that worked in the Prohibition), but making it incredibly inconvenient to light up anywhere public, and even regulating smoking in private property, could push a lot of law-abiding citizens into quitting.

 

[onetwothreebp]

Well, smoking IS a choice. You may not have meant to get addicted, but you still did choose to start.

That being said, quitting can be very hard. There is help for it though. If you truly wish to quit, talk to your doctor or pharmacist about it. There IS help out there!

 

[pinklightbulb]

Unfortunately it's a choice that isn't as easy to unmake as I thought it was when I was a stupid teenager Y'know how the whole "I'm invincible" thing is going on then... stupid, but that's life. Nobody is perfect

Sarahkka: Yes, I don't smoke as much anymore, which is good. It has definitely helped having not as much time on my hands to waste going out for smokes and that kind of thing

 

[Pearls18]

Smoking may not be a choice for you (I disagree but will stop there) but choosing where to smoke is. Lots of things aren't illegal but are incredibly unpleasant to do around other people and we wouldn't do it, perhaps until it does get banned manners and courtesy could be applied until the laws get up to date? I don't think we need to live in a "I will do what I want because it is legal society" I like to think we're a little more civilised than that, especially when it comes to the poisonous gases that comes from smoking it's not as if it is just unpleasant, it is a health risk. You want us to respect your choice to smoke, perhaps respect ours not to smoke by not inflicting second hand smoke on us? Or especially our children.

 

[Piper84]

Of course it's a choice to start smoking, just like it's a choice to start injecting heroin or relying on addictive painkillers. It's incredibly difficult to give up and I don't begrudge anyone their smoking habit, as long as they're considerate about it.

However, I wouldn't compare it to driving a car any more than I would compare it to paying an electricity provider which generates its power from coal or other environmentally unfriendly methods.

 

[ZoeyKaspian]

My fiance is an ex-smoker. His ex-girlfriend is a smoker. He hates when she smokes around the kids in the car or anywhere, really. She got a rental car a few months ago and basically was pissed off that the rental company wouldn't let her smoke in the car so she wanted to smoke outside. My fiance was pissed that the reason wasn't for his son and his son's brother's sake. She has them right now so there's not much we can do to stop that behavior, but I wouldn't appreciate it if she smoked around my son. I would probably take him away from the situation, but it would still be really unappreciated.

 

[pinklightbulb]

But smoking, car exhaust etc are all environmentally unfriendly... why is smoking so evil when we walk around in a cloud of shit most of time anyway? I guess I just don't see why I get abused for something that isn't affecting anyone else, just me. I don't smoke in areas that are populated, or anywhere that's signposted, and I still have the right to make the choice to smoke, like someone else has the right not to. I don't think I should be looked down upon for making my choice, when I'm not infringing on others. Someone may not like smoking but it doesn't give them the right to rip me a new ass when I've done my best to be considerate. It's a catch-22 really.

 

[Pearls18]

But smoking, car exhaust etc are all environmentally unfriendly... why is smoking so evil when we walk around in a cloud of shit most of time anyway? I guess I just don't see why I get abused for something that isn't affecting anyone else, just me. I don't smoke in areas that are populated, or anywhere that's signposted, and I still have the right to make the choice to smoke, like someone else has the right not to. I don't think I should be looked down upon for making my choice, when I'm not infringing on others. Someone may not like smoking but it doesn't give them the right to rip me a new ass when I've done my best to be considerate. It's a catch-22 really.

If you've genuinely been considerate and not smoking around anyone I don't see the issue here? Car fumes are not the same as smoking and are usually more dispersed than that disgusting gulp of air some smokers manage to blow right next to somebody. Driving is not a bad habit like smoking so I find it really flimsy and pathetic that they are compared. Smoking is hard to give up but I know plenty of people who have managed it, my mum smoked for 30 years and quit the day my my son was born ( as she knew she wouldn't be allowed to hold him lol) I'm sorry but I have zero sympathy for smokers I really do, the making a decision when "your brain wasn't fully developed" is a new one....that's got to be the weirdest excuse, I managed to make plenty of good choices in my teenage years and correct the bad ones. I think you need to take responsibility for your actions, choices and the consequences.

 

[pinklightbulb]

The brain is not fully mature until adulthood, this is a fact. Sorry you find it an excuse.

And the anti-smoking zealots can be even more inconsiderate than a smoker. Believe me.