Our journey making 3 to 4 - single again! now it's just me and my little boy.

[Mummy to be x]

I ordered some last Saturday when I got that faint test line, they should arrive tomorrow but I was so eager to test that I waited outside boots at 8.30am Monday morning and bought two packs and now they are all gone.

It might even be that this cycle is my bfp but it's still too early. But I don't want to get my hopes up. Broken my heart not seeing a big pink line yet broke down in tears to hubby and he was like 'don't worry it'll happen' and I know it will, I'm just inpatient and I want it to happen now

I need to be more patient I know xx

it will happen xxx

 

[xxsteffyxx]

6 days left until testing...

Woken up this morning with the most horrendous sickness and (downstairs problems!!) it's so bad I have had to call in sick at work and tell then I cannot be in. Harvey has gone in though... Seeing as I'm paying for it!

Either AF is on it's way or it's implantation. Either or. It hurts like he'll and my poor tummy cannot go through it for much longer looks like I'm going to be munching on dried toast today

 

[Button#]

Hope you feel better soon Steffy. Look after yourself.

 

[xxsteffyxx]

First responses came and clearblue digitals... And guess what? I tested... Bfn of course!!

FFS!!! I'm obsessed. I need to pack it in xx

 

[xxsteffyxx]

AF never showed today...

Roll on tomorrow... But no testing except on Ics x

 

[xxsteffyxx]

So as I said I would I have been doing the cheapie Ics to kerb my POAS addiction...

Top one is yesterday's and bottom is today's. Yesterday's one had a NASTY evap on it... Bligh!!!
https://i61.tinypic.com/4qoguq.jpg

Then I inverted it...
https://i58.tinypic.com/23qxlwl.jpg

I can see lines on the invert but you just can't be sure with these Ics can you?

AF is now officially 1 day late. Had a bfn on a first response now and hubby has now his the rest of the tests so I cannot test.

 

[xxsteffyxx]

Still nothing...

I worked this out, I ovulated on 26th April so 14 days after that is 10th may (AF was due by a normal cycle) but if by some miracle chance I conceived on the time after that we had sex which was 3rd may then 14 days after that is the 17th may. I don't think that's what has happened... But I guess there is always a possibility so I'll have to wait till then at least before I can rule out pregnancy. I just wish I knew what was happening. My poor tummy hurts so much xx

 

[Mummy to be x]

No AF is a great sign steffy, I'm keeping everything crossed for you xx

 

[Button#]

Fingers crossed Steffy

 

[xxsteffyxx]

I honestly don't think it's my month ladies. I think if it was I would have got my bfp by now xx

 

[xxsteffyxx]

Pinkish/peachy coloured cm tonight when wiping. Either means AF will be here soon or implantation bleeding.

 

[Button#]

Hope it's the latter Steffy.

 

[Mummy to be x]

Fx AF stays well away! Xx

 

[xxsteffyxx]

Okay... This might end up being a long post. So I apologise.

AF still hasn't arrived, so there is still a 50/50 chance I am pregnant. Either way now, I will be happy!

I think I said before that I have been doing slimming world since January and lost a grand total of 7lbs, not good! I've not really had any inspiration or motivation to do so. And tonight I kind of reached a breaking point.

My hubby isn't really my 'husband' I call him that to wind him up really, but he knows I am desperate to get married.

So he has seen me yoyo diet since we were together so tonight we sat down and he said to me this;

'Right, if you can prove to me that you are serious about wanting to loose this weight then I will put some money aside for something that you want.'

My response: 'what is that?'

His replied: 'if you can get to a size 16 by the 1st October then I will buy you an engagement ring and we can look into getting married.'

Before you think, no this was not a marriage proposal. What he is saying is that by giving me a goal, motivation to work towards then I should be able to loose the weight I desperately want to loose.

But it means I won't be TTC anymore. I don't want to TTC and try and loose weight, it's not something I can do together. So we both agreed I would go back onto contraception, the pill, once my period starts this month.

My period still hasn't started yet, so there is still a chance I could be pregnant after this cycle, but we'll just have to wait and see.

I'd love to still have you ladies part of my journal.

I hope this makes sense?

Love you ladies xx

 

[Mummy to be x]

Aw steffy that's so romantic!!! Bless your hubby.

But are you sure it's what you want Hun? You seem to want that BFP so badly, if your sure then i do wish you all the best in losing the weight but like you say there's a chance you might be pregnant, how would you feel if AF came? Would you be happy to go back on the pill?? Xx

 

[xxsteffyxx]

This is going to sound so bad and I hope it doesn't make me sound awful.

I want that bfp so so so very badly! More then anything, but before I wanted that bfp I wanted to get married. Ever since I had Harvey and moved on with my life I have just wanted that family life, that husband wife home scenario.

Hubby and I started TTC mainly because I didn't think he wanted to get married to me, but I knew we would stay together forever because I love him and he adores Harvey and we just get on so well! So we started TTC, not expecting that we would get pregnant in the first month. After the MC I just wanted to be pregnant again and have that family life.

If my AF doesn't come and it turns out I am pregnant hubby and I would be over the moon and this 'plan' we have would just wait until baby arrived. But if AF does arrive I do intend on going back on the pill.

I'm also supposed to be going on cruise next year. Although my mum knew we were TTC so it was a 'maybe' I would like to go lol!

I want that bfp so much!!! I want that 2nd baby sooooooooo much too!!! But I love my hubby so much and I want a family with him, I want to get married and make everything perfect and how I wanted it.

.... we'll just have to wait for AF to show or not show lol. Xx

 

[Button#]

It sounds like either would be brilliant and getting in shape might help with TTC. You could have a honeymoon baby.

Good luck with either and both!

 

[xxsteffyxx]

Just a quick one...

AF arrived with full force today xx

 

[Mummy to be x]

Oh dam it good luck in your weight loss journey Hun

 

[xxsteffyxx]

Afternoon ladies.

Been a couple of days since I last updated, just been very busy. Obviously AF came in all it's glory, it's so painful. Been very heavy! Finally started slowing down now which is good because we have a BBQ tomorrow for the FA cup finals game. Looking forward to some food, friends and I can have a few bevvies too!

Set myself a 12 month plan now. So I am very excited as the next 12 months are going to be very busy.

June 2024 - FIFA World Cup, lots of parties, bbqs and sunshine. Also have a wedding to go too

July 2014: hubby's birthday on 19th July, also have another wedding to go to. This time it's the ceremony, meal and reception.

August 2014: ANOTHER wedding my cousins, again very exciting!! We also have a water fun day at work so that's going to be loads of fun.

September 2014: no plans as of yet. Just working hard towards my nvq level 3 in childcare.

October 2014: weight loss dead line, fingers crossed!! Also have a girls holiday in Great Yarmouth and holiday I. Hayling island to look forward too.

November 2014: my birthday. Going to have a big one this year, 26 years old! Lots of money spent haha!

December 2014: friends wedding on the 18th December and of course CHRISTMAS!!

January 2015: new year new start, setting some new year resultions. Working hard.

February 2015: Harvey's 3rd birthday. Still deciding on what to do.

March 2015: still making plans...

April 2015: still making plans...

May 2015: 3 days cruise with my family and my little man. Love cruising!! Was so much fun last time

And there we have it... My 12 month plans. Setting some goals and going to achieve them. Haven't decided on when we are going on TTC yet, but more then likely next year.

Hope you are both doing well. Xxxx