Hope39
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PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!
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Drsamyjohn
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Thanks for all the replies ladies, I hope today finds you all doing well.
I have anxiety and depression issues to begin with, and was taking some heavy duty medication. I talked to both the OB and the Psych immediately and they didn't offer much guidance. They both told me the obvious (that I already knew) " your medications are a pregnancy catagory C" and blah blah went on to explain what that catagory meant. I know they mean well, but this is hardly my first rodeo, I know all of this. What I want is for one or both of them to tell me exactly what to do. It's a risk benefit analysis I get that, but I feel incapable of making these decisions.
I actually have Bi-polar II. Since 16 years of age. I am usually stable on the right medicine. But this medicine COULD hurt the baby. But I have my 9 year old and my job to consider as well. I can't be going off the deep end, which I kindof think I am doing. IDK, maybe I need to move this to a psycho pregnant lady forum, but I feel that the pain and anxiety of recurrent loss has really added to my mental instability right now. Previously I was able to come off the meds and was ok, pregnancy had a sort of antidepressant quality to it. Not this time. I think I'm losing my mind. My daughter has been visiting my parents for the last few weeks but is due home next Friday. I MUST have my mind together by then. I don't know what to do. I can't focus or make decisions. I can't answer my phone or talk to people. Ugh, I'm a certified mess.
Next Thursday we see if baby is still alive, Friday I go pick up my daughter. I have to be prepared to be strong mommy either way, and I'm seriously doubting my ability. If the baby is gone I just can't fathom keeping it together.
I have anxiety and depression issues to begin with, and was taking some heavy duty medication. I talked to both the OB and the Psych immediately and they didn't offer much guidance. They both told me the obvious (that I already knew) " your medications are a pregnancy catagory C" and blah blah went on to explain what that catagory meant. I know they mean well, but this is hardly my first rodeo, I know all of this. What I want is for one or both of them to tell me exactly what to do. It's a risk benefit analysis I get that, but I feel incapable of making these decisions.
I actually have Bi-polar II. Since 16 years of age. I am usually stable on the right medicine. But this medicine COULD hurt the baby. But I have my 9 year old and my job to consider as well. I can't be going off the deep end, which I kindof think I am doing. IDK, maybe I need to move this to a psycho pregnant lady forum, but I feel that the pain and anxiety of recurrent loss has really added to my mental instability right now. Previously I was able to come off the meds and was ok, pregnancy had a sort of antidepressant quality to it. Not this time. I think I'm losing my mind. My daughter has been visiting my parents for the last few weeks but is due home next Friday. I MUST have my mind together by then. I don't know what to do. I can't focus or make decisions. I can't answer my phone or talk to people. Ugh, I'm a certified mess.
Next Thursday we see if baby is still alive, Friday I go pick up my daughter. I have to be prepared to be strong mommy either way, and I'm seriously doubting my ability. If the baby is gone I just can't fathom keeping it together.
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Dramy-
first. Sounds like you've got a heck of a lot on your plate right now and it's obvious you can feel yourself hitting that tipping point. My best advice is this. If your doctors aren't answering your questions, then find a new one who will listen to your fears. What you need most right now is a care team who will support you and do all they can to help ease your anxiety while keeping your mental health stable. And it's completely normal to feel this way. Not only do you have your bipolar disorder complicating things but pregnancy hormones and your history of losses are likely amping up the anxiety as well. As hard as it is right now, do your best to just breathe and take things one step at a time. Do you have a counselor or therapist you can talk to about this? What I found helped me alot during my last successful pregnancy when I was having panic attacks daily from the anxiety was to schedule an hour a day just for me. I'd read a book, play a game, build a puzzle, go for a walk. Just do something for myself that would help me de-stress for a bit. I know this isn't for everyone but it's worth a try, right? Hang in there and hopefully your next scan will help ease your fears a bit more.
first. Sounds like you've got a heck of a lot on your plate right now and it's obvious you can feel yourself hitting that tipping point. My best advice is this. If your doctors aren't answering your questions, then find a new one who will listen to your fears. What you need most right now is a care team who will support you and do all they can to help ease your anxiety while keeping your mental health stable. And it's completely normal to feel this way. Not only do you have your bipolar disorder complicating things but pregnancy hormones and your history of losses are likely amping up the anxiety as well. As hard as it is right now, do your best to just breathe and take things one step at a time. Do you have a counselor or therapist you can talk to about this? What I found helped me alot during my last successful pregnancy when I was having panic attacks daily from the anxiety was to schedule an hour a day just for me. I'd read a book, play a game, build a puzzle, go for a walk. Just do something for myself that would help me de-stress for a bit. I know this isn't for everyone but it's worth a try, right? Hang in there and hopefully your next scan will help ease your fears a bit more.
Drsamyjohn
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Dairy~ You summarized things perfectly. My tipping point. Exactly. I'm going to breathe my way through this weekend and start making calls Monday morning.
I do have a therapist,and she is great, but she's brand new and I feel like I'm talking to a textbook. I'm on board for a whole new team. Thank you
I do have a therapist,and she is great, but she's brand new and I feel like I'm talking to a textbook. I'm on board for a whole new team. Thank you
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DrAmy-good luck and I have my fingers crossed you find the right team of doctors to help you through this pregnancy. Hope you were able to relax a bit over the weekend and enjoy the summer days.
Radiance
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Update!
My lmp places me at 5+6 but by ovulation I am 5+3. We saw sac, baby, AND heartbeat!! Baby measured 5+5 and had an heartbeat of 103
The technician said there may be another sac. It was near and looked like an empty sac which would be normal at this gestation so I go back in two weeks to see if it is anything and to check on babe. 
I only hoped to see a sac, I definitely didn't expect baby and heartbeat.
Picture: Is zoomed in all the way. That's the baby and heartbeat.
My lmp places me at 5+6 but by ovulation I am 5+3. We saw sac, baby, AND heartbeat!! Baby measured 5+5 and had an heartbeat of 103
The technician said there may be another sac. It was near and looked like an empty sac which would be normal at this gestation so I go back in two weeks to see if it is anything and to check on babe. I only hoped to see a sac, I definitely didn't expect baby and heartbeat. Picture: Is zoomed in all the way. That's the baby and heartbeat.
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Hi Ladies,
I don't know where I fit anymore. I've had lots of losses and was being tested for reasons why etc when we suddenly found out I was pregnant again. That pregnancy by some miracle grew to become my rainbow baby girl, who's now 1 years old.
Since I fell pregnant with DD I've moved house so in a different county now. We very unexpectedly found out I'm pregnant again a few weeks ago. I went to the doctors to 'register' it and was told I wouldn't be offered any early scans or any additional support, just the normal scans and midwife appointments. Whilst I was by no means expecting the level of care I had in my previous pregnancy (weekly scans from 5 weeks to 13 weeks - excessive I know but my consultant insisted even when I disagreed, they were trying to decipher the cause of the miscarriages at the same time - no reason discovered) I still had an expectation I'd be offered an early scan.
Am I wrong to think I'd be given 1 early scan? Does my healthy child now wipe out all my previous losses? (I've had 7 losses and lost 8 babies). Do I now need to have a further 3 losses before I can get any support??
Thanks in advance to all those that reply, honest opinions much appreciated, I'm a big girl I can take it!! xxx
I don't know where I fit anymore. I've had lots of losses and was being tested for reasons why etc when we suddenly found out I was pregnant again. That pregnancy by some miracle grew to become my rainbow baby girl, who's now 1 years old.
Since I fell pregnant with DD I've moved house so in a different county now. We very unexpectedly found out I'm pregnant again a few weeks ago. I went to the doctors to 'register' it and was told I wouldn't be offered any early scans or any additional support, just the normal scans and midwife appointments. Whilst I was by no means expecting the level of care I had in my previous pregnancy (weekly scans from 5 weeks to 13 weeks - excessive I know but my consultant insisted even when I disagreed, they were trying to decipher the cause of the miscarriages at the same time - no reason discovered) I still had an expectation I'd be offered an early scan.
Am I wrong to think I'd be given 1 early scan? Does my healthy child now wipe out all my previous losses? (I've had 7 losses and lost 8 babies). Do I now need to have a further 3 losses before I can get any support??
Thanks in advance to all those that reply, honest opinions much appreciated, I'm a big girl I can take it!! xxx
Wonderful news Radiance .
Hi Aleeah
Welcome, I'm not sure about the scans, I'm surprised they won't let you have one early one after so many losses even after you've had your little girl, but I'm not sure what the rules are. Do you have an early pregnancy unit at a hospital near you? They've always given me early scans, on my fourth pregnancy I was able to phone up and book a scan at 8 weeks (this particular EPU is self-referral, the other hospital's is referral from gp or a&e only). Sorry they aren't giving you the reassurance you need x
.Hi Aleeah
Welcome, I'm not sure about the scans, I'm surprised they won't let you have one early one after so many losses even after you've had your little girl, but I'm not sure what the rules are. Do you have an early pregnancy unit at a hospital near you? They've always given me early scans, on my fourth pregnancy I was able to phone up and book a scan at 8 weeks (this particular EPU is self-referral, the other hospital's is referral from gp or a&e only). Sorry they aren't giving you the reassurance you need x
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Aleeah-it shouldn't matter that you've had a full-term pregnancy. At least it doesn't to my doctor, though I've continued to have m/c after each of my rainbows. If you feel like your doctor isn't listening, can you find another one? Or as others have suggested, self-refer to an EPU? I'm in the states and I don't have access to an EPU but the dr I switched to for LOs pg is great. He lets me chose my care plan and how often I want blood tests or scans. If I have questions, I can call the nurse's line directly and they get me in for whatever I need ASAP. I'd say you are entitled to an early scan at the very least.
Radiance-exciting news! And congrats. I don't know if I said it before.
Radiance-exciting news! And congrats. I don't know if I said it before.
Radiance: yay!! So happy for you!
Welcome aleeah. I don't think you Are being unreasonable. I would expect the same in your situation. At the very least.
Just like it's been suggested, is there an epu you could go to? Even if you have to change hospital?
When I was having mu 2nd loss (mmc) no doctor would refer me to the epu at mu local hospital. I rang every epu to check if they accepted self referral until I found one.
Welcome aleeah. I don't think you Are being unreasonable. I would expect the same in your situation. At the very least.
Just like it's been suggested, is there an epu you could go to? Even if you have to change hospital?
When I was having mu 2nd loss (mmc) no doctor would refer me to the epu at mu local hospital. I rang every epu to check if they accepted self referral until I found one.
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Thank you so much ladies. Sounds stupid I know but I hadn't even thought to self refer, my doctor point blank said no further support would be offered and I just assumed my rainbow girl cancelled it all out. To be honest I wanted to get more tests done to determine why I had the miscarriages, they were all boys but I was told that was not the reason why, who knows. But now am unexpectedly pregnant again, so assume no tests can be done now.
I'd just like a reassurance scan, I've got a doppler at home but obviously will be no good yet. Thanks everyone again, really appreciate your support.
Good luck with all your beautiful pregnancies and rainbows xxx
I'd just like a reassurance scan, I've got a doppler at home but obviously will be no good yet. Thanks everyone again, really appreciate your support.
Good luck with all your beautiful pregnancies and rainbows xxx
Drsamyjohn
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Today is THE day. It's been an excruciating three weeks. Today we find out if the baby still has a heartbeat. In two hours. I am pretty much in a panic attack. The last three weeks have been super rough, but today is going to go just one of two ways. We will come out of that office completely broken, or over the moon happy. It's the fear of the unknown I think that has been killing me. If I know one way or the other then I can deal and move on. I'm praying for the best but expecting the worst.
Things are different this time around, still sick and way sore boobs, but speculating that this could be due to the progesterone supplement...ugh, speculating. I hate it. Please pray for our baby, and please pray I don't literally go off the deep end if the baby is gone.
Thank you...
Things are different this time around, still sick and way sore boobs, but speculating that this could be due to the progesterone supplement...ugh, speculating. I hate it. Please pray for our baby, and please pray I don't literally go off the deep end if the baby is gone.
Thank you...
wookie130
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Drsamyjohn, I hate that anxiety before a reassurance scan more than any feeling in the world. It's a horrible, fearful, sinking pit in your stomach...I know all about it. Best of luck today at your scan. Praying for you that all is well thus far with baby.
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DrAmy-hang in there. FX it's grand news you get and it helps ease your mind. I'll be stalking for updates all day and I know I won't be the only one.
