PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[ReadynWaiting]

That makes sense I guess. I'm feeling a little disheartened as I just had my appt with the specialist and he seems to want to put me in the general box of "old eggs/poor quality". The only testing he is doing is AMH. Sonohysterogram for the insides and SA on Dh. I had requested tests through my ob which the ob told the RE and he thinks they are all unnecessary (asked for some immunological testing).
Basically his idea is that if the AMH comes back fine then give me clomid (due to being super fertile) to produce more follies so there is a better chance of a good one implanting as my uterus is non selective. I get it but I would rather cross everything off the list to make sure it's not something else. I really don't want to go through any more losses.
If there is a silver lining (praying there is) I go to see a naturopath next week that hopefully will get to the root of the problem.
Just feeling so frustrated! But oh so thankful I have 2 beautiful children. I can't imagine the ladies that go through this with no baby to hold. The strength you must have.

 

[ReadynWaiting]

I have officially started to mc as well which if anything is good as I don't have to wait another 9 weeks to figure out what is happening with my body.

 

[blueblue]

Ready - I'm so sorry, it's so hard. I hope the naturopath helps

Loeylo - I was told two different things by different midwives - one and my hospital pack said to wait 6-12 months after a c-section to try for another baby, another midwife said to wait for 12-18 months

My scan came back fine and they weren't worried, they did a biopsy to check for sure that everything is ok. It definitely gives you a bit of shock when the appointment's at the cancer clinic, if everything is ok like the scan looks, I'm so lucky

 

[Squig34]

Blue, glad to hear all is well!

Ready-

 

[ab75]

Sorry for your loss Ready.

Glad all is well blue xx

 

[nessaw]

I'm really sorry ready.x

 

[dancareoi]

So sorry Ready you are going through this again.

As you say, you already are lucky enough to have two children, but that doesn't make it any less painful.


My first two pregnancies at 30 & 33 were fine. My next pregnancy at 37 was a MMC. 10 months later, at the age of 38 my first rainbow was born.

Then at the age of 40/41 I suffered a further two MMC, but 1 week after my 42nd birthday my second rainbow was born.

Hopefully you will get the answers and help you need, so you too can have your rainbow.

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Ready, I'm so sorry to hear that. Take care of yourself.

Blue, so glad to hear that all's well.

Me, my viability scan is next Friday. I still have a good feeling about this pregnancy; hope I'm not wrong.

 

[wookie130]

Ready- I'm so sorry. It's tough, and I hope you go on to have a beautiful third child.

Me, I'm yearning for a third baby, but at 37...sigh. My husband really, really does not want another, and his feelings obviously matter on this issue, so...I just don't know.

InVivo- Good luck! I pray your gut feelings are correct!

 

[ReadynWaiting]

Invivo I have everything crossed for you.

Wookie-it's hard when you want something so much but then have a partner that isn't on board.

 

[blueblue]

Thanks ladies x

In Vivo - good luck with your scan x

Wookie - sorry he doesn't feel the same way about another baby

 

[Squig34]

Hoping for the best for you Invivo

 

[wookie130]

It's really okay. Honestly, I think my husband is really using his head in the whole matter...and me...well...it's more of a heart decision, really. Financially, two children make sense, and physically, it's rather risky for me to have another. I may bring up the whole thing around summer time, because if we do get pregnant, Oscar will be closer to 3 by the time the new baby arrives, given that we even get pregnant right away in the first place. These eggs are old(ish), so I wouldn't exactly expect to be Fertile Myrtle. LOL!

 

[dancareoi]

Ready- I'm so sorry. It's tough, and I hope you go on to have a beautiful third child.

Me, I'm yearning for a third baby, but at 37...sigh. My husband really, really does not want another, and his feelings obviously matter on this issue, so...I just don't know.

InVivo- Good luck! I pray your gut feelings are correct!

For some of us, that longing for a baby never goes, I know exactly how you feel. At the same age of 37, I was desperate for another baby, my older 2 were 7 and 4, and I had been wanting another since the day my 4 year old had been born. Although my first two pregnancies were fine and I had no problems.

My husband did not want any more as he was happy with the 2. However, he knew my feelings on this and I would keep mentioning it and talking about it, constantly!

Eventually he agreed for us to try for a third. First time of trying I was PG (amazed at 37) unfortunately we lost the little bean at 8 weeks.

However, after 1 AF we tried again and got PG again straight away (now 38) 9 months later my rainbow baby boy was born ( 3 months before my 39th birthday)

To start with I was happy with my three beautiful children and even gave away all my girl baby clothes!

Then those feelings came back, but DH was now adamant there would be no more. Then in October 2011 I found I was PG (at the age now of 40) I was over the moon, but DH was not so happy.

We had our 12 week scan and all was good. Unfortunately at a routine check at 17 weeks we found baby had died at 13 weeks. I was heartbroken, even more so because as this has been an accident, I didn't think DH would agree to try again.

My doctor referred me to a specialist and DH finally agreed (4 months after our loss) to try again.

It took a little longer this time, but just before my 41st birthday I was PG again, sadly this too ended in MC.

I had numerous tests, all of which were clear.

Then in December 2012 at the age of 41 we began trying again, and amazingly became pregnant first time! I was on progesterone and clexane up until 28 weeks.

1 week after my 42nd birthday, my little rainbow baby girl was born.

I am now in the very lucky position to have 4 beautiful, healthy children (2 boys and 2 girls)

I will be 45 in August and I know there will be no more babies (husband has had the 'snip' to make sure) but that feeling of wanting another baby is still there. Not so deep a feeling as it was, as I know now we would have too many problems and too much heartache.

However, if I could, I would have another tomorrow. I see pregnant women and feel a slight pang of jealousy. When I see little babies I just want to hug them!

Wookie, you are not too old at 37. It is difficult when the other half is so adamant, but keep working on him, you just never know

 

[sailorsgirl]

Sorry to jump in, I've been following this thread since finding out I am pregnant again.

I understand the want for one more child. After having my second child I knew right away I wanted another. Hubby was pretty against it, and family and friends didn't understand it as I already had one of each, so why would I need another? I can't explain the feeling but it is strong. Anyway after a while hubby agreed to try again. We felt pregnant quickly but unfortunately it ended in miscarraige. Everyone told us we were silly to try again. We did anyway, and I had a 2nd miscarriage a few months later. Hubby then went to sea for six months. When he returned we agreed to try again. This time everything went well, until my 17 week routine midwife appointment. After being unable to find baby's heart beat we were told our baby girl had died. She was born a few days later.
Everyone told us not to try again, "you're lucky to have the two you have" "take it as a sign" "a blessing in disguise"
We ignored them and I am now almost 9 weeks pregnant again. For me the heartache is like no other pain I have experienced but if this all leads to a health baby one day, it is worth the fight. Hubby's feelings about it all are very different, he is doing this for me, but I know he has his limits and if things go wrong again we will only stop because I know he couldn't handle it again. It will be a new type of grief, to let go of the idea of having another baby but I have accepted that as much as I want it, there are other peoples feelings involved too.

Ps wookie, my husband definitely thinks with his head and I with my heart, but I did manage to pull him around to the idea by finding solutions to the things he was most concerned about. I hope you manage to work it out xx

 

[Squig34]

Hope all goes well for you this time Sailorsgirl. I had a 21 week loss last February after early losses; it's very hard. We have no living children though, so we need to keep trying. This baby is growing ok so far though, so hopefully we will also e taking a rainbow home at last.

 

[mowat]

Wow Dancareoi, you nailed that one right on the head. My DS is 6 and after multiple losses, infertility and then finally IVF we were lucky to have twins last April. Three children is plenty (!), but I still struggle with not having more. Every time I get rid of baby stuff I cry---it's so hard. I can barely handle the kids I've got so I really don't need more (plus I'm 41), but I long for more babies.

 

[Hope39]

It's really okay. Honestly, I think my husband is really using his head in the whole matter...and me...well...it's more of a heart decision, really. Financially, two children make sense, and physically, it's rather risky for me to have another. I may bring up the whole thing around summer time, because if we do get pregnant, Oscar will be closer to 3 by the time the new baby arrives, given that we even get pregnant right away in the first place. These eggs are old(ish), so I wouldn't exactly expect to be Fertile Myrtle. LOL!

You never know wooks, I conceived Oscar first month of trying and I had just turned 38

 

[dairymomma]

I long for another baby but I think it's mostly because I haven't thrown everything that I can at my RMC issues that's at the root of this feeling. And I know that it's in my best interests (both mentally and physically) to not get pregnant very soon-perhaps not ever again really. It's hard when you want 'just one more' so badly you can practically taste it but at the same time, the thought of a positive pregnancy test, the extreme anxiety and fear of the first tri, having to do shots (I'm scared of needles...), and the expected bleeding is still too much for me to bear at times. I'd love another baby. I really would and I know it would help heal some of these huge cracks in my heart but at the same time, I know that pregnancy is not-and never will be thanks to my history-a happy, easy time for me. So knowing that we are going to be stopping our ttc journey sooner rather than later is actually a comfort for me. Do I want more kids? Definitely. Is it worth the utter panic and mental strain? No. So we're trying one more time with as complete and comprehensive a treatment plan as I can get the doctors to agree to and that's probably it. DH and I have also been talking about adoption and/or foster care alot more in the last year or so and it's helped me cope with that feeling of 'one more' because I know there's still a way for us to add to our family even if we aren't ttc anymore.

 

[LeeC]

Hello Ladies, it's been a looong time since I visited here. I plan to do some reading back to catch up as I tend to keep in touch with most of you on FB these days.

Quick update my end, I am 34 + 2 today. Having a terrible pregnancy and as much as I hate to complain its been very difficult. My iron, B12, folate and ferritin levels have been ridiculously low and after much confusion I am now having iron IV Infusions following a series of B12 injections and supplements. I also have developed tachycardia caused by the anaemia, resting heart rate was 125 yesterday.

I've been practically house bound these past few months because of breathlessness and low energy levels, hoping these infusions work quickly before the birth as I've been worried about another Uterine Atony PPH, the low iron levels can contribute to blood loss and recovery so obviously it's been playing on my mind.

Anyway had my first Infusion yesterday and will have 3 per week over the next 2 weeks so at least now I feel like I'm making some progress with it.

On a side note, I've also developed a bad case of Pica again, could be to do with iron also, I've taken to chomping on bath sponges again soaked in cold water!!

I met with my specialist yesterday after my Infusion and he is willing to induce me at 38 weeks or carry out a section at 39 weeks, I'm thinking I'm going to go with induction, despite such a bad experience last time because apparently a section doesn't reduce the risk of PPH and also my haematologist has told me that there is approx 1 litre blood loss with section, opposed to 500mls with a vaginal birth. I'm also worried about recovery time with a section and looking after Morgan with no local childcare support. (Morgan will be 3 in April).

So, all being well I'm hoping to be induced anywhere between 26th Feb and 1st March eeeek.

Bump is huge and baby is doing well with EFW 5lb 9oz at last scan, next scan in 2 weeks.

At 42 (43 this year) this will be my last pregnancy, hubby will be booking in for snip. I can't believe that finally after many years, 15 pregnancies and much heartache, this is going to be the end of our journey. Already blessed with one crazy rainbow and our 2nd imminent all being well. It's def going to be an emotional time.

Ok, need to do some reading back now to catch up with everyone xx.