PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[Ella_Hopeful]

Thanks for the welcome! Test a bit darker today. Obviously now I'm questioning how dark yesterday's was as it has faded a bit today. Today's was an actual line, super easy to see and with plenty of pink color. Still faint, but I would say a regular bfp. So far its better than with my chemical... that's reassuring...

I wonder what it would take for me not to worry!? Does anyone ever feel like they just think they are doomed so just don't get excited or anything and assume it's going to go wrong?

 

[Squig34]

I'm on my 7th pregnancy with no live children Ella. I wouldn't say that I assume from the start that they are doomed, but I very much hold back any excitement until we see how things are looking. It's just a natural way that your brain tries to protect itself. But I know there are ladies around this board who just decided to let themselves be excited. So there is a bit of choice! I am a bit more excited than I was, & more hopeful that this pregnancy will really work out this time since having my 20 week scan, but I don't think I'll completely believe it until we are holding a live little girl.

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

Oh squig how heartbreaking - I really hope this is your rainbow! I don't know how you cope. The only way I stayed sane when I was pregnant with my son is going to the emergency room every week with 'contractions' to see him on the screen and check he was okay, and that was only after 2 losses.

 

[Hope39]

Congrats invivo! I have twins, I was on this group when it started and they r 3.5 now it's awesome. Lee was on then too. Hope, were you on then too?

Congrats Ella!

Yep, I was on this thread when heart tree started it xx

 

[Tasha]

Rapt my BFP with Orion was an OPK. It was very positive.

I was also here when it began xx

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Welcome, Ella. I know all about those horrible early days and weeks. It's a great sign that your tests are darkening -- hang in there!

 

[blueblue]

Ella, congratulations on the positive hpt. I know how you feel, it is hard to be positive, I had four losses before my little girl, with this pregnancy I did try and enjoy it although many things (early bleeding, small for dates scans) scared me frequently x

Squig, so hopeful that this is your rainbow x

 

[Mitchi]

Hello girls!

A while since I've been on here but thought I'd jump on and say hello as pleased to say I'm 15 weeks with number 2! Eek! Must be mad! Team pink this time too and sooooo excited by this! Keeping this to ourselves though so everyone thinks we are team yellow until the end! (I needed to know as was desperate for a girly!).

Hope everyone with bumps are doing ok good luck to those still trying to get the rainbow. My concoction of pred, progesterone and clexane did the trick for us again on this one.

Xx

 

[Squig34]

Congratulations Mitchi!

Ella, how are things going?

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

Tested today (20dpo) stupidly. I was feeling so positive about it all and I thought it would be fun to see if it was darker than the control.

Well, it was lighter than three days ago. Here we go again.

 

[Squig34]

Oh no, I hope it's not, Ella. So stressful for you

 

[wookie130]

Ella, please google "the hook effect" in terms of hpts. Perhaps it would be beneficial to get some beta hcg blood draws, 48 hours apart...that would give you a better indication of viability.

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

Much too early for the hook effect! Just need time to process. At least it won't be a shock at my scan in 9 days time.

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Hang in there! There are a lot of reasons that the test might be lighter and not all of them mean something terrible.

I don't mean to patronise you -- I've had a whole lot of early losses and I hated it when people tried to convince me everything was fine when I knew perfectly well that it wasn't. Just don't write yourself off completely.

Sending all my good thoughts for your scan.

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

Went for an emergency ultrasound and beta today as was worried about ectopic. It's not ectopic and they saw an 8mm with yolk sac, but no fetal pole or heartbeat. I should get the beta results in the next hour and that should tell me if this is viable or not. HCG was 376 last week so we're looking for minimum 4500 today.

 

[InVivoVeritas]

Sounds like the ultrasound showed all it could at this early stage. Sending good thoughts for today's beta -- keep us posted.

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

I can't believe it - beta was 7500, which is surprising and amazing - but now I'm worried that there was no fetal pole, should be one at this stage! Guess I'll wait until next Sunday to find out.

 

[Squig34]

More waiting, but that beta number is hopefully a very positive sign!I don't really know if it's that unusual not to see a fetal pole at 5 weeks, but KMFX for you.

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

Maybe I'm just a worry wart... thanks for being here to listen!

 

[InVivoVeritas]

What a fantastic result -- congratulations!

And I don't think it's unusual for the fetal pole not to be visible even as late as 6 weeks. Hang in there!