PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[red_head]

Congratulations on your rainbows
When did you feel you could relax? We’ve just had our 12 weeks scan, and so far everything has been perfect but I am still terrified it’s going to end - the scan was only yesterday but I already feel like it could be over. We don’t see our consultant for another 2 weeks as I think they feel that there’s no point until the first tri is over, and hopefully he will then book in more scans - we’ve had them every two weeks til now but now there’s nothing til our 20 week one in September! I feel so anxious! Xx

 

[julesmw]

Blue - I'm doing well. She is six weeks today and getting chubby! I love little thigh rolls. Wish they looked that cute on me Last week I started feeling somewhat like my normal self and started doing a lot more.

Red - I don't think the worry ever went away for me. It would come and go and I would have to reason with myself or get busy doing something. I had a doppler and until I could feel the baby regularly, I used it to reassure myself. Some people can't do that as it causes them more anxiety, but if I ever had a time I couldn't find the heartbeat, I would go do something else and try again later knowing she was probably just in a hard-to-find position. I see you are 14 weeks tomorrow - that's wonderful! Second tri is the easiest and fastest for me. I hope it's a good one for you, too.

 

[blueblue]

Red, my anxiety came and went too. It helped getting past 12 weeks, then past 20 weeks. I had reduced movements (a week before I had him I spent the night in triage and was prepped for c-section in case he had another issue on the ctg, and the anti-d issue was stressful too. It's hard to relax after recurrent loss, hoping the time passes quickly for you.

Jules, that's great! I bet she is adorable! I still don't feel like myself, it's only been 3 weeks though, struggling with sleep and feeding. It's bittersweet as this is definitely my last baby, two is enough for us and I don't want to risk the anti-d issue again.

 

[blueblue]

Red, how are you feeling now?

 

[red_head]

Hey I’m doing ok mostly. I’m finding the second trimester harder in some ways as I found my second tri loss so difficult, but on the other hand everything seems to be going well and the doctors have said we can be confident. I had a freak out Thursday and went for a private scan and baby was fine and we found out we’re having a boy it was very obvious lol! I was on cloud 9 for a couple days but now I’m back to worrying! I think once I get to 20 weeks and that scan goes ok I will relax a bit. I just hope I get that far!
Hope everyone else is doing well? Blue are you feeling better?

 

[blueblue]

Red, glad you are ok, I hope 20 weeks comes around quickly for you. Glad everything was good on your scan. I always felt the same after scans, started worrying again the next day.

Getting there, he's a month already and has grown so much. I can't believe he's here.

 

[blueblue]

How is everyone getting on?

Red, how are things going? x

 

[red_head]

Hey Blue - how are you getting on?
I’m doing good I think, still days with anxiety wobbles. The thing I find difficult is now I’m showing I get lots of people asking if this is my first. Did anyone else find that? I’m never sure what to say, so I just say yes then go away and cry and feel guilty!

 

[blueblue]

Congratulations on 26 weeks, that's great news. And a little boy!

It's hard when people say that, especially if you have had a later loss. Don't feel guilty for saying yes if it's too difficult to explain. It's hard to keep explaining it over and over, especially when you are pregnant and it's an emotional time. I did find that when I'd had the baby, and met some mom friends and mentioned the losses, a lot of them had miscarriages too.

Little blue is great, he's 3 months now, sleeping more at the moment and smiling at me so much, it's lovely. His big sister loves him so much too.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

I still say this is #4. It's just easier. It doesnt take away my losse . I'd rather not have to explain.

Honestly, I havent thought about my losses since very early on (under 10wks). Now, it's just the stupid cancer that takes over every thought.

 

[red_head]

Gosh that’s gone so fast! That’s so lovely he’s smiley! How have you found it all?

OnErth that must be so difficult I can’t even imagine.

 

[OnErth&InHvn]

Cancer is really just a different type of loss.

I was nervous early on and sometimes hearing a baby cry is still hard. I had a scan the day of my 2009 loss but I tried not to even think of it.

 

[blueblue]

OnErth, I'm sorry to hear that, it must be so difficult. Do you have lot of support from family and friends?

Red, the first two months were hard, he was adorable and I was so happy he was here but he didn't sleep well and had slight reflux. It's much easier now, and his personality is starting to show.

 

[red_head]

Aww that must be so lovely that’s good he’s sleeping well already - I honestly don’t know how I will cope with those difficult nights. All worth it though xx

 

[blueblue]

It feels like forever at the time but goes quickly, it gets easier after the first eight weeks x

 

[loeylo]

Red, my anxiety came and went too. It helped getting past 12 weeks, then past 20 weeks. I had reduced movements (a week before I had him I spent the night in triage and was prepped for c-section in case he had another issue on the ctg, and the anti-d issue was stressful too. It's hard to relax after recurrent loss, hoping the time passes quickly for you.

Jules, that's great! I bet she is adorable! I still don't feel like myself, it's only been 3 weeks though, struggling with sleep and feeding. It's bittersweet as this is definitely my last baby, two is enough for us and I don't want to risk the anti-d issue again.

Hi! Long time no speak! We were pregnant the same time - Gracie turned 4 in October!i can’t believe people have had a second already, it all feels like 10 seconds ago!

 

[blueblue]

Hi! Long time no speak! We were pregnant the same time - Gracie turned 4 in October!i can’t believe people have had a second already, it all feels like 10 seconds ago!

How are you? Can't believe they are four already! It feels like forever and not long ago at the same time.

 

[MissMarpleFan]

10 month old miracle baby photo spam!

I still can’t believe my luck to have this beautiful baby. Hang in there ladies.

 

[dairymomma]

Hi ladies! An OG poster who is tentatively stepping back onto this thread. Surprise rainbow baby #5 due early May but likely be born late April. (And by surprise, I mean SURPRISE. I was told I was in early menopause a year ago and it would be difficult to get pregnant again, even if we were actively trying. Which we weren't...) Had a rocky 1st tri due to bleeding that never seemed to quit and anxiety attacks still plague me since I'm considered not only high risk due to my clotting disorder and we're high risk for genetic issues like heart defects and Trisomies but now we potentially have unexplained IUGR. It feels like my complication/risk list has gotten longer with each pregnancy. I have at least one growth scan each trimester but depending on how baby is growing, I may have to have more. My 14 week growth check put baby 4 days ahead of my dates though I don't believe that. I was watching the tech do the crown rump measurement and she was hella off kilter doing it. I've NEVER had a baby measure ahead either. My babies are always tiny and usually measure up to a week smaller. Even my dr thinks the measurements were off and kept my EDD as it is. Sigh...Anyway 17 weeks tomorrow and feeling okay for the moment. I see the doctor on Thursday and I'm hoping hearing the heartbeat will help ease the lingering anxiety. Then my 20 week anatomy scan after Christmas so not too much longer before I get to see baby again. We are staying team yellow this time and I think we may actually be surprised. I've always had an inkling about the gender and my gut has never been wrong. Neither has the ring test or the Chinese gender charts. But this time, I cannot tell worth a darn and I'm staying away from the old wive's tale type tests because part of me is afraid I'll somehow jinx things (logical, I know...) and part of me wants to truly be surprised.

Red-on your question of how to answer if this is your first baby... It's totally up to you. If you feel comfortable with sharing the number, then go for it. If not, then don't. Some people will count all of their babies, even their angels but I have always just said 'This is X baby' only counting my rainbows and if they ask further, I will tell of my history. At least as much as I'm comfortable telling that person anyway. But when I've had 14 known miscarriages, it's hard to say "oh this is baby #21" without getting a heck of a lot of judgement and uncomfortable questions. Do I count my 16 angels as my children? Hell yes. But am I going to share that with every stranger who stops to ask me how many kids I have when I'm in the grocery store? Nope. The comments I get about having 4 with a 5th on the way are bad enough. But if you say this is your first, do not feel guilty for saying it. YOU know how many babies you have and that's what really matters.

 

[blueblue]

Marple, she's beautiful! Ten months already! x

Dairy, congratulations! Good luck with your doctor's appointment this week x