PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[ttc126]

Dairy!!!!! Congratulations!!!!! You helped me so much with my rainbow pregnancy back in 2017. Sending you all of the happy thoughts and prayers and hoping your appointment goes well.

I can’t believe it, but my little guy Jett is already 3 months old! I didn’t share much about his birth in here but I got my tubes tied this time because I had placenta accreta. It’s a high risk of it happening again and they were worried we might not be as lucky next time.

 

[dairymomma]

Thanks all. 19+3 and had my appt days all mixed up. I didn't see the dr til this past Friday. But the appt was okay. She gave me a little scare when she couldn't find the heartbeat and we'd just been talking about how I can sometimes go 24+ hours without feeling some sort of movement from the baby but a quick peek ultrasound later, we knew why the hb and movement are so hard to pick up.

Y'all, this kid is a monkey in the making. Not only is my placenta smack dab in the most anterior spot it possibly could be but this babe will go smoosh itself down into my pelvis and is almost always transverse when it does this. So baby is moving but since s/he is laying spine down tucked way into my pelvis, s/he is always hitting either nothing but amniotic fluid or my placenta. And since it's always laying down as low as it possibly can, the Doppler can't pick up the heartbeat through my pelvic bones, the placenta, and my bladder (which, according to the dr, was astonishingly full even though I didn't feel like I had to pee.) So no worries at this point if I don't feel regular movement.

She also gave me the lowdown on how we're going to do the 3rd tri growth checks. I have my anatomy scan at 21 weeks and we'll do a growth check around 24 weeks and every 4 weeks after that unless something comes up. I feel better knowing I've got a doctor checking on things but I wasn't exactly expecting growth checks that often.

 

[blueblue]

Dairy, Red, how are you getting on? x

 

[blueblue]

Didn't see the update! That's hard that you are struggling to feel the movements, it's good they have a reason for it. I hope the next appointments go well and the next 21 weeks fly by.

TTC, congratulations on your rainbow baby! Sorry about the placenta accreta. I'm not having any more either, had anti-d antibodies in this pregnancy with a high risk of complications next time around

 

[dairymomma]

Never in a million years did I EVER think I'd be posting this update. Our baby boy Andrew was born sleeping very early this morning. His cord had become wrapped around him several times and we think he passed sometime Christmas Eve. I am positive I felt movement up until then but he was measuring 3 weeks behind my dates. However, the drs think he still could have been moving, just not getting enough nutrients to grow very well due to the cord issue. I am also battling influenza (have been for a week now) so I was very glad we went in last night not only for the observation and IV fluids for myself but because I was already in labor when we went in.

I am trying to be sensitive because I know there are others on this thread who have had issues and I do not want to freak anyone out. I want to say that what happened with our little boy was an incredibly RARE thing-one of my doctors said she'd NEVER heard of the cord being wrapped around as many times as this and the other doctor said he'd never seen it happen in a baby of such early gestation. It's not easy and it's certainly not something I ever thought I'd ever experience and with it being Christmas too...I've barely cried but it's more because the shock is still settling in and if I cry, I cough til I can't breathe so I try not to cry. I'm sure we'll be grieving for a while.

I'm sad to be leaving this thread because this was very likely our last baby but everyone-even my doctors who have started to hint that I may want to be done ttc at least for a VERY long time-have cautioned me to physically heal from both the birth and the flu and to give myself time to grieve this loss before I make such a final decision. Good luck to all still pregnant and I wish you all the best for the rest of your pregnancies!

 

[red_head]

Oh my gosh dairymomma I am so so sorry. Xx

 

[blueblue]

Dairy, I'm so sorry for your loss and what you are going through. Thinking of you and Andrew. Take care x

 

[MissMarpleFan]

I’m so sorry, Dairy, how heartbreaking.

 

[ttc126]

Dairy, I’m seeing your update late but I am so very sorry.

 

[dairymomma]

I'm just popping in quick but I want to say thank you for the kind words. It's been hard. SO much harder than my other losses and I'm so f-ing mad that we are having to go through this after the hellish time we've had just trying to have a baby. It's so f-ing unfair. But I know this is part of the grieving process and it's going to take time to heal from this on every level. I know I'll be okay eventually. But right now, it's brutally hard.

I see my doctor tomorrow for my post partum check (she wanted to see me at 3 weeks instead of the usual 6) and I'm going to see what she has to say about all of this.

She's great by the way. She was out of town when Andrew was born but was in the office the very next morning. And despite being almost as sick as I was-I ended up testing positive for influenza while in the hospital-she stopped in to see me a few times before I was discharged. And that first time she stopped in, she walked in fully gowned/gloved/masked (thanks influenza...) and she was crying as hard as I was. When your physician feels a loss as acutely as you do? Now that's a doctor to keep.

I know what happened with Andrew was like a 1 in 10 million chance type of thing and it wasn't something we could have predicted or prevented. And it helps to know the reason for this loss when so many of my losses are unexplained. But I still want to hear what the dr has to add to what I already know about what happened and where she sees things going from here. I also want to discuss my options for further testing (she's a new dr and a fresh set of eyes looking at my history so I want to know what she thinks I could have done yet, if anything.) and possibly having some high resolution imaging or an HSG done to see what my reproductive system actually looks like since that's never been done. I also want to discuss my options for permanent birth control because, as much as I hate to think about it, I do know we are stepping closer to that point. I am a particularly difficult patient in this regard though because most forms of birth control are no-nos for me for one reason or another. So I want to know what my choices in that department are, limited though they may be.

 

[dairymomma]

And truly, I wish all who are pregnant and/or ttc who may be viewing this thread, a happy and healthy pregnancy. What happened for us was a very rare thing and sometime in the future, if we choose to try again, maybe I'll be back with happier news.

 

[ttc126]

I am so sorry Dairy. Thinking of you and so sad your precious Andrew isn’t here. It’s so unfair. I really hope you have a good appointment and are able to get good answers to your questions about imaging and birth control etc. I am so heartbroken for you. No one deserves to lose babies but some people have just been through way too much. Sending love.

 

[blueblue]

Dairy, I'm heartbroken for you, your family and little Andrew, I'm so sorry you had to go through this. I'm glad your doctor is so supportive. Good luck with your appointment, the tests and the birth control options x

 

[mindyb85]

Can i cautiously join this thread?
First I read some of the recent posts and dairy I am so very sorry for the loss of your son Andrew. My son David was also born sleeping at 24+5 this past April. I am still grieving. It has gotten a little easier with time and some days I’m ok and others, a memory triggers me and I become very emotional. This last year has sucked. 3 losses including David, a cp in October, a surprise bfp the following cycle in November just to lose that baby at 7w in Dec and while waiting for af to appear this month, somehow the one time we randomly drunkenly dtd in the past 6 weeks (dh is still traumatized) and I am miraculously pg again.
My journey has been very long. Dh and I have been together for 11 years and have one beautiful six yo DD and a history of many other cp’s Throughout the years.
With my 7w mc in December my hcg was rising normally days 14 (125) and 16 dpo (298), then at 5 weeks they were still within normal (but I already had a bad feeling bc they were low for me ~1400) then at 6 +5 weeks it had not even doubled and it had been 9 days (2248). I knew it was over. A few days later I passed the baby and it looked like it probably stopped developing at 5 weeks honestly it was so tiny in its little sac. With this pregnancy I had one beta at 15dpo (205) and my gyno thought it may be my hcg still going down from my mc and that’s why my period was late so he ordered one more for one week later (5+1) and 2892!!!! This is much more like my normal doubling times so that was a relief bc when I was getting stuck to get blood the second time I felt a huge gush and when I ran to he bathroom it was pink watery cm so in my head I felt stupid for going and getting stuck three times since it was already over. But haven’t had any sign of pink since and that number was great. My doubling time averaged 1day 19.5hours! I have not told dh and don’t know what to do. He was so destroyed by last years events he said he wanted to get a vasectomy, which would break me. So I’m waiting for my gyno to call me back with the results and see what he wants to do.
I also had a great idea to wait until 12 weeks for my ultrasound. Go in to my ob as a follow up bc I still didn’t have my af and come back with a surprise for his birthday (which would be he next day March 11). I won’t feel safe until that 12 week ultrasound shows a healthy baby. Our sons 12 week showed a major fatal diagnosis so we knew with him for a long time that he wasn’t going to make it. So many specialists appts and ultrasound, each getting worse than the last. It was terrible. Just support and prayers very appreciated ladies! Good luck to those in this thread and I hope your hearts are healing.

 

[blueblue]

Mindy, welcome, I'm so sorry for the loss of your David.

I hope everything goes well with your pregnancy, the HCG looks good. I bled with first rainbow and it worked out, never knew why, I hope it works out for you x

 

[mindyb85]

Mindy, welcome, I'm so sorry for the loss of your David.

I hope everything goes well with your pregnancy, the HCG looks good. I bled with first rainbow and it worked out, never knew why, I hope it works out for you x

Thank you blue!

So got another beta. Dh insisted. After I threw up breakfast this morning he said you have to take a pregnancy test. I told him my gyn was testing my levels down to zero. He said well what was the result on Tuesday. So while I called the drs office he dipped my test I bought and we got the results. 5+1 2892! We are in shock.
My ob office got me in later that day and did the missed menses and ordered a ton of labs including my beta. Here are my numbers below.

15 dpo: 205
22 dpo: 2892
24 dpo: 4976

Thoughts? The last one didn’t quite double in 48 hours it did rise about 67% so I think that is definitely in normal range where it wants to see at least 60% within 2-3 days.
Have my dating ultrasound and ob interview set for the 11th first thing in the morning. Seems like ages away but if I have no bleeding I’ll take that over bleeding and HAVING to go in early.

Here is my sneak peak they did with abdominal just to make it wasn’t in the tubes. Looks like 5 and a half weeks exactly what I was estimating.

 

[blueblue]

I'm glad the numbers are going up and the scan looks on track. Good luck for your scan on the 11th! x

 

[mindyb85]

Got my 4th levels taken!

15 dpo: 205
22 dpo: 2892
24 dpo: 4976
26 dpo: 8791!!!!

Also 6 weeks today on the dot. (Or pretty close)

I have an early ultrasound set for this Thursday at the hospital and then a more detailed dating scan at 8+1 on Feb 11!

Been very tired, like crazy tired. Nausea coming in waves, and this morning my emotions are going a little crazy. I was watching a couples YouTube channel and saw they tried for 6 years, had a mc, then went on to have a healthy girl. I just started bawling my eyes out thinking about baby boy and the fear of something happening again mixed with the real hope that we could bring this one home.

 

[blueblue]

Glad the numbers are rising lots, good luck with your scan! x

 

[mindyb85]

Got an early scan done yesterday!
We have a BABY!
Measuring 6+1 and HB 117! So my dates were off by 2 days.
Small SCH seen next to sac but dr did not seem concerned. Still nervous tho. Just trying to relax. Next scan is Feb 11. I’ll be right at 8 weeks.