PAL after Recurrent Losses - come join us!

[heart tree]

I'm feeling very sad right now. My lovely friend, Happy Auntie's betas aren't rising properly. She's been through too much. This will be her 4th loss. I just don't understand why this has to keep happening to such wonderful women. I can't ever seem to make sense of recurrent losses. Why do some of us have to endure a greater burden than others? I'm very, very sad about this news today.

I also had a very intense day yesterday meeting with that family who cares for their 32 year old son. He's completely dependent for all of his care. He is at risk of choking on his own spit, which I saw, and that could kill him. His family has to be on alert with him 24/7. It was so sad. They are exhausted. I felt drained after the visit with them.

I'm going to do some yoga shortly. I'm going to dedicate my practice to all of those who have been suffering. That includes all of the RMC ladies.

Sorry to be a downer. It just feels like a sad day today.

 

[Embo78]

Hugs heart.

And happyauntie I'm so so sorry to hear your numbers aren't rising. It still baffles me daily why this continually happens to good people. I don't think I ever will.

 

[Mom2mmcjg]

So sorry Happy Auntie.

 

[puppycat]

It seemed so promising HappyAuntie so sorry xx

 

[3xscharmer]

So sorry Auntie...

 

[3xscharmer]

Heart - sorry about your sadness, hope your yoga goes well. As far as why some of us have so many losses...I personally believe that some of us are made to be stronger than others...it takes a strong woman to go through pregnancy and birth, IT TAKES AN EVEN STRONGER woman to continue to get pregnant time after time knowing that she could very well miscarry again...but do we give up?? NO, we fall apart and pick ourselves back up, dry our tears, hold our heads up high and try again!! No matter how weak I feel at times, I know exactly how strong I am: I am strong enough to endure the worst pain I have ever faced and turn around in the next breath knowing damn well that I will endure that pain until I bring another baby into this world!!

 

[APB]

Puppy – I know it probably doesn’t make you feel much better now, but maybe it will be encouraging to you to hear this: my younger son was extremely difficult at 2. My mom has done daycare for 30 years and said he was one of the most challenging kids she had ever watched. He would do things like walk by a table and see a cup on it and decide to just pick it up and dump it on the floor for no reason. Or like the time he climbed up a dresser and managed to pull the whole thing (including a TV) onto himself and ended up in the ER. And he ran away every opportunity he got and never listened - EVER. I didn’t think either one of us would survive that year. But now he is 4 and has turned into the sweetest, most affectionate and well behaved little guy a mom could ever hope for. He is a complete angel! So my only advice is hang in there and try to focus on any positive behavior that she does exhibit (kill ‘em with kindness as they say)…but remember, easier and more enjoyable days are coming!

Embo – congrats on having a boy!!! I have 2 little boys and they are AMAZING! Little boys are SUCH fun, and the expression “mama’s boys / daddy’s girls” is definitely true!! You will truly adore each other!

HappyAuntie – I’m so sorry to hear the sad news. It brings all the pain back when I read what is going on with you. We’re all thinking of you sweetheart..

Heart – congratulations on being able to feel your little one move more definitely now! That is such a cool time in the pregnancy, when the baby is big enough to feel moving, but small enough to still have plenty of room to do somersaults! I can’t wait to be there! And by the way, love your kitchen picture – pregnancy totally agrees with you!

On the subject of eye color – my eyes are brown and my husband’s are blue, but both of my boys ended up with eyes that are sort of greenish / grayish / hazelish. So babies don’t always end up with your color or your hubby’s, sometimes it’s a mix of both together. Really interesting!

 

[heart tree]

Adrienne, very true about eye color. My husband's parent's have brown and blue eyes and he ended up with the most gorgeous green eyes. I love genetics and family resemblances.

Great story about your son. Except for him ending up in the ER! Good to know he grew out of that phase.

How are you holding up?

Charmer, thanks for your nice words. It's true, I think there is strength in all of us who continue down this path even in the face of recurrent heart break. It speaks volumes of our characters.

I've been very reflective today. I am grateful for where I am right now and also very pensive about this whole journey and where I started on it. I'm a different person now. I know we all are. I feel more hopeful about this baby, but it's still so hard to believe I'll actually hold, kiss, nurse and love this baby. That's just PAL. When I see women lose their pregnancies, it reminds me again of how delicate this whole journey is.

 

[puppycat]

Thanks APB, it sounds awful for you but good to know it passed. She has actually been better in the last few days thankfully, not her normal self but i've changed my approach too. Obviously it's helping!

Being baptised this morning and i'm so excited

 

[filipenko32]

Aww heart I'm feeling your sadness about HA I know her too it just doesn't seem fair does it. And that is SO sad about that man, we really never know what life is going to throw at us. I can't imagine what his parents must be going through. and you must have felt so helpless in a way.x x x

I'm feeling very sad right now. My lovely friend, Happy Auntie's betas aren't rising properly. She's been through too much. This will be her 4th loss. I just don't understand why this has to keep happening to such wonderful women. I can't ever seem to make sense of recurrent losses. Why do some of us have to endure a greater burden than others? I'm very, very sad about this news today.

I also had a very intense day yesterday meeting with that family who cares for their 32 year old son. He's completely dependent for all of his care. He is at risk of choking on his own spit, which I saw, and that could kill him. His family has to be on alert with him 24/7. It was so sad. They are exhausted. I felt drained after the visit with them.

I'm going to do some yoga shortly. I'm going to dedicate my practice to all of those who have been suffering. That includes all of the RMC ladies.

Sorry to be a downer. It just feels like a sad day today.

 

[bumpyplease]

So sorry HA thinking of you xxx

 

[filipenko32]

Bumps every time you post my heart is in my mouth and as the page loads I'm thinking please please let bumps be ok!! Lol! You're stressing me out!!!!

 

[filipenko32]

Embo congrats on your !!

 

[ttclou25]

heart hope you feel better today sweetie

HappyAuntie – I’m so sorry to hear your news hun

 

[3xscharmer]

So last week when I threw up, I was thinking that it wasn't morning sickness...It just didn't feel quite like m/s....Now I remember lol!! This am I threw up about 5xs in a row and it was so fast and so hard that I almost couldn't breathe and it hurt so bad and it WAS EXACTLY like with DD!! Last pregnancy around the 5 1/2 week mark the nausea quit for a while and when it came back it was barely there, it was NOTHING like this so I think it's a very good sign!! No other pregnancy has made it to six weeks with m/s except with Ollie!

Plus I had an ultrasound last night - I was in pain (course I really think it was gas) but I got scared and went to the ER and they did the ultrasound...I was 5+6 BUT measured 6+1! HB was 125! I've never had an ultrasound at 6 weeks so I have nothing to compare it too, but I know that once you see a normal HB, the miscarriage rate drops but don't know if my other pregnancies had normal HB's early or not, but do know that at 8 weeks the HB was under 100 both times.

 

[bumpyplease]

Bumps every time you post my heart is in my mouth and as the page loads I'm thinking please please let bumps be ok!! Lol! You're stressing me out!!!!

Would you rather I stopped posting then fili?! Lol!

So far I have had nothing negative to say about my pregnancy and I really really hope it continues!!!!!

How's u? Any sign of the witch? X

 

[filipenko32]

Lol bumps yeah, stop posting! No cos then if you didn't post id be worried too!!! I really think everything is going to be perfect for you so I don't want to be proved wrong! I def have this instinct had it with heart and Davies too!
3x that's fab news!! Def think this is your rainbow baby too!

My hubby's away and I have been pottering and tidying up today, I actually quite enjoyed cleaning. Then my sister rang and someone banged REALLY hard on our inside door. My sister thinks all of London is dangerous lol!! She lives out in the sticks and she said as the banging was so aggressive not answer it so she made me scared. Then he was ringing the bell and banging for about 5 mins! I feel silly not answering it but maybe my sister saved me!!! it can't be anything urgent as the car doesnt need moving (it's a detached house turned into 4 flats with shared parking). Anyone think I / my sister was silly? Feel like I can't go out now lol!!!!

No witch 3 weeks ish since erpc so maybe too soon...

 

[3xscharmer]

Fili - hope your instint is spot on! As far as the stranger banging on the door, I wouldn't answer it either...there are some crazy ppl in this world!

 

[puppycat]

Our delivery man bangs seven kinds of sh*t out of our door! You're not expecting anything are you?

 

[filipenko32]

No not expecting anything and we don't get deliveries on a Sunday usually so... It was really aggressive banging my sister made me more scared though otherwise I would have answered without thinking probably!!