PAL - February 2013 rainbow babies

[AllMacsNow]

Every family is different, I think... I know one person who'd had a loss and then fell pregnant again, and the first time she hadn't told anyone right away, but after the mc, she had to tell people... this time around she is telling people because she wanted the chance to share HAPPY news.

For US, though, we weren't going to tell people till 12 weeks the first time, and won't this time either. We did end up telling our moms after the loss, just to have someone to talk to about it... but we don't want to get hopes up, just in case, this time. I guess if the worst happens, we'll tell them that again too.

We had our early scan this morning, 6+2... and it was all PERFECT. We're measuring 6+4, which doesn't really surprise me because I knew I ovulated early in the cycle. We were able to see AND hear the heartbeat. I almost cried. I know it's still possible to lose it at this point, but this is so much farther than we got last time, and I was SO SO worried about a blighted ovum. The doctor said he really couldn't have been more pleased, and will have us back in 3 weeks for another scan. Hooray for a doctor who's on top of it.

 

[waiting2012]

Thank you Flutter.. those were my thoughts to.. now to keep the Dh from telling s family.. he is reserved about it all but talks about "when junior comes" or wants to bring up names.. in the past I would to but I don't want to discuss those things with him.. I don't mind doing so here. But feel its jinxing things if we talk to much about it...

 

[waiting2012]

Thank you Mac.. so glad to hear your ultrasound went so good Hun! That is wonderful!
A part of me wishes we had shared some of our losses with certain people we are close to, I guess it was my own fault becuz I thought grieving in private was better.. a year ago we lost a PG on Father's. Day and I think some of these emotions come from the grief of that loss.. I was around 9weeks and not long after that loss Jason's cousin and his wife popped up pregnant.. I of course cried the day they had their baby.. Jason didn't understand why, but I think that is because men don't know how to feel .. or that is my thought about it... I'm rambling again.. sorry..
Congrats again Hun!

 

[AllMacsNow]

I completely understand, hon... there are so many memories that we tie in with our losses...and nobody else will really when/why those pop up.

I thought we'd keep our loss to ourselves too, and The Hubs surprised me when he wanted to tell our moms... but he ended up being right. It was what I needed. I shared with one other friend who'd had a loss and that helped too. But again, I think everyone's different, and it's not easy for everyone to talk about. I found as time went on, my mom started out supportive, but I wanted to KEEP talking about it, and eventually she got tired of it, and I had to stop, because I was finding her impatience really off-putting. It's hard to know, though, who/how to tell.

Here's hoping that's not a decision any of us ever has to make again.

 

[rosebud111]

Every family is different, I think... I know one person who'd had a loss and then fell pregnant again, and the first time she hadn't told anyone right away, but after the mc, she had to tell people... this time around she is telling people because she wanted the chance to share HAPPY news.

For US, though, we weren't going to tell people till 12 weeks the first time, and won't this time either. We did end up telling our moms after the loss, just to have someone to talk to about it... but we don't want to get hopes up, just in case, this time. I guess if the worst happens, we'll tell them that again too.

We had our early scan this morning, 6+2... and it was all PERFECT. We're measuring 6+4, which doesn't really surprise me because I knew I ovulated early in the cycle. We were able to see AND hear the heartbeat. I almost cried. I know it's still possible to lose it at this point, but this is so much farther than we got last time, and I was SO SO worried about a blighted ovum. The doctor said he really couldn't have been more pleased, and will have us back in 3 weeks for another scan. Hooray for a doctor who's on top of it.

Congrats on seeing LO on your scan AllMac! That is great news!

 

[PerpetualMama]

Every family is different, I think... I know one person who'd had a loss and then fell pregnant again, and the first time she hadn't told anyone right away, but after the mc, she had to tell people... this time around she is telling people because she wanted the chance to share HAPPY news.

For US, though, we weren't going to tell people till 12 weeks the first time, and won't this time either. We did end up telling our moms after the loss, just to have someone to talk to about it... but we don't want to get hopes up, just in case, this time. I guess if the worst happens, we'll tell them that again too.

We had our early scan this morning, 6+2... and it was all PERFECT. We're measuring 6+4, which doesn't really surprise me because I knew I ovulated early in the cycle. We were able to see AND hear the heartbeat. I almost cried. I know it's still possible to lose it at this point, but this is so much farther than we got last time, and I was SO SO worried about a blighted ovum. The doctor said he really couldn't have been more pleased, and will have us back in 3 weeks for another scan. Hooray for a doctor who's on top of it.

I have had you in my prayers all day that there was good news for you I am so happy to see this!

I have told my older kids, and some family members. I'm pretty much afraid to tell my parents because their reaction will not likely be positive. My mom will worry about my schooling and how I'll ever get through it, and my dad thinks I have too many kids already...plus he doesn't like DH and DH doesn't much care for him either. I know after the initial complaining everyone will just accept it because it's not their choice, and damned if I don't prove I can make it work

 

[PerpetualMama]

LilyLee,
I am so sorry that the news was not reassuring. I have kept you in constant prayer today as I worked and rushed home to check on how things went. I will continue to pray that little bean was just hiding. Hang in there

 

[AllMacsNow]

I have had you in my prayers all day that there was good news for you I am so happy to see this!

I have told my older kids, and some family members. I'm pretty much afraid to tell my parents because their reaction will not likely be positive. My mom will worry about my schooling and how I'll ever get through it, and my dad thinks I have too many kids already...plus he doesn't like DH and DH doesn't much care for him either. I know after the initial complaining everyone will just accept it because it's not their choice, and damned if I don't prove I can make it work

Thanks, hon.

I am sorry that your parents won't be so supportive, and that DH and your dad don't get along. I'm sure that's so hard to deal with all of the time. But you're right, of course. You WILL make it work, and you'll be great at it!

 

[PerpetualMama]

My mom will be ok with it in time. It's just she knows it's not the best situation here sometimes, and I've been working so hard to keep my 4.0 at school in order to finally get accepted into my program of study. This is going to make things complicated, and she'll be sad that this could be a set back for me. I'm not worrying about it all, I'm just going to take it all as it comes, and day by day.

Waiting: My neice was due just a couple of weeks before I was with the one I lost. My brother-in-law sent a constant barrage of pictures of his first grand child and each one shredded my heart into tinier pieces. That ache eventually turned into a special fondness for him now because he brings my LO to mind and I fantasize about the kind of child "she" would have been. It's sad, but I snuggle him on my lap and catch myself thinking this is how "she" might feel sittting here. But it doesn't hurt as bad as it used to. I know it must be so much harder having lost so many more

 

[waiting2012]

Thanks ladies!
Perpetualmomma..When I was pg with our first together, my dad thought for sure that Jason was going to split like my son's dad did.. It took a long time for them to get along but they do now..they ought to since we've been togetheralmost 13yrs and married almost 12.. Lol..I wish I could have your strength.. I avoid his cousin and his wife and kids.. Jason says Im bitter and he is probably right.. Its just one reminder I cant bring myself to bear.. Funny though, I work in childcare and with toddlers.. Every toddler-3 or 4 yr old there could have been one loss or another yet, I look at them and feel a sence of happiness that though weve had multiple losses, these are my "kids" too.. There are two that I felt very close to, one I potty trained, and watched grow over a year and a half.. After his parents divorced, his mom moved 100 miles away.. I cried when his last day came.. He used to come in and say "I love you" and I felt loss all over again.. Price I pay for what I do lol.. I wouldnt trade my job though for anything.. Im sure that one day, I wont cry anymore and I will enjoy what the world has to offer..

Again, sorry for rambling...my friends outside of bnb have had their tubes tied , one had a hysterectomy.. They both have known me for 20 plus years, but think its crazy for me to even want another...

 

[Mrskg]

I've told hubby an my 2 friends x I won't be telling anyone else till I know everything is ok an if I do have another loss I don't think I'll tell anyone that either x can't take anymore sympathy x I dream of going in with a perfect scan pic an everyone being happy for a change xxx

 

[waiting2012]

I hear ya there Mrskg.. I think that is worse than wondering what is said when your not around.. Everyone wants to say sorry... I mean, I am notorious for replying that I am sorry when I see someone is going through a bad time, but that is not the same as seeing the "deer in the headlights" look from friends, family and coworkers and when they say sorry, I feel it is done out of obligation rather than a "yes, I understand your loss" place... My mother haf a m/c before having me, but because if a rough army hospital delivery-she could have no more children.. And even from her, I think she feels our wanting another is pointless and that we should be happy with what God had given us... We are greatful, but I still want one more, and hopefully this is the last...

 

[flutterbaby]

allmacnow good news on your scan just where you want to be

i get it ladies about not wanting say because people dont know what to say but in my case my mom and my sister was my rock when i hemorrhaged i called my sis as she lives next door my bathroom looked like a scence from chainsaw masacer when i was all over and i know i was alright my sister hugged me and was crying and shaking saying please dont do that again dont put yourself through it so i know from what they seen its gonna be a worry and the fact they had to paddle me to life will just worry my mom my hubby is worried but he said he gets my need for 1 now so we'll take it day by day get plenty of scans and if the worst happens again i can have a d and c straight away and not try and do it natural as it maybe worse for me...........

anyway ladies on a brighter note TMI ALERT i've got the runs so bad this morning

mom is coming over to take boys to school as my hubby has pinched the car so think i'm having a day in cleaning today (tactfully staying by the loo) and may sort out my clothes not got the bloat just gained so much wait this year i put jeans on yesterday and they was cutting me into lucky i was shopping so i brought a load of casual outfits with a little room to grow thought about maternity clothes but my sis would of said something im sure

anyway huggles ladies have a good day today

 

[debzie]

Morning ladies

Allmac yeah for a good scan and another milestone over.

I have had to tell work as I am a psychiatric nurse there are obvious situations that I have to avoid. I am currently working on an eating disorder ward for a few months. Spoke to my boss and have asked him if I can stay on there away from the stress of the adult acute wards for now and he agreed. So thats work that knows, a friend who has suffered a loss and is now 18weeks pregnant. My Mam (but not dad as he worries too much) and Chris' Mam and step dad. I did not tell her the last time, I had to in the end to watch DD when I went in for the ERPC she was gutted I did not tell her sooner. We are close seen as though she is technically my MIL although we are not married. I will be telling the rest of my family after my next scan.

Flutter my bloat is getting me down, fortunately I have some jeans that were a little too big so I am warning them, I also bough some maternity jeans with my second loss so I am wearing them too. OH did comment when I was in the shower last night that I look 5 months THANKS.

 

[Mrskg]

omg look what i got

 

[Wiggler]

Thats brilliant hun! x x x

 

[Mrskg]

debzie ive had to get my mat trousers out too not that i need them but normal trousers just feel to tight on belly x

 

[flutterbaby]

just phoned epu and they explained about how long i gotta wait for scan and history she said am i bleeding i said no and am i having pain yeah some stretching pains in the left side but nothing major .........then she said well that qualifys you for an earlier scan with your history so get back onto the doctors explain what we said and he'll refere you to me asap like 2 day and ill be scanned ............then my mom walked in and hasn't gone so not been able to call then and i'm working tomorrow so cant call then til the afternoon i'm not really concerned just growing pains i think but i got upset on the pphone to epu at how long it is befor i have even got my booking appointment let alone waiting on booking in and scan the lady was really nice ..........do you think it will matter if i phone tomorrow afternoon rather than today

 

[flutterbaby]

she also said they will do my blood to monitor my numbers when i go

 

[waiting2012]

Beautiful Mrskg!!
Debzie and Flutter, Thank you for sharing ladies!
I think yesterday was one of many rough and emotional days ahead.. I do feel a bit better this morning and alloeed the hubby to talk names...
Not really sure about bloating-Im on vacation this week so pretty much living in my pj's right now..lol I do have a bit of a headache although ut comes and goes and when I woke this morning, had to tinkle so bad, I got up rather quickly, and ended up super nauseas and that made my hubby bust out laughing.. We will see whos laughing when I throw up in his shoe! ...nah, I wouldnt do that...lol..
Have a lot of laundry to tend to, but I just want to take a nap already...lol...

Hope everyone has a wonderful wednesday!