PAL, Is it "normal" to feel this way?

[Sabster]

Im so happy to have read this thread. I think we are all on the same boat.

I had an MC in june 2013 at 6 .5 weeks and in January 2014 at 7 weeks. We found out I'm pregnant again last week and I am guessing I am around 5 weeks, because I waited for my AF to be late to test.

I think the fact that we have had negative experiences with pregnancy overshadows the delight of it. I definitely do not feel as excited as I did the first two times, and I can see that my DH is very reserved about it. I think its because it's so soon after the last MC that we are still coping with all our feelings.

I have been thinking about this a lot, and I don't want to cheat myself out of being happy because I am worried. I don't want to make decisions out of fear, and althugh being vulnerable is the hardest thing right now, i think that I positive attitude will help this pregnancy. I dont' want my baby to feel worry and despair and fear so early on, so I am trying to make a big effort to not think about it and enjoy every day of this pregnancy. If i lose this pregnancy too, at least I know i gave it 100% and i will still be hurt whether or not i feel attached, but if it continues and I get to meet my baby boy/girl. it will all be worth it.

 

[Sabster]

This probably sounds so stupid to most people but I don't seem to be able to enjoy my pregnancy as I am always worrying about my partner!

When me and my partner first got together 3years ago he was always drinking and taking drugs, he cheated on me very early into it and used to tell a few lies which I always found out in the end.
I thought I had got over that situation and horrible feeling but now i'm starting to re-think this....

We found out I was pregnant at the Beginning of Jan 2014 and since then he has had a few drunken weekends (which l worry about incase he goes back to his old ways plus we have to buy a new car and get a deposit for our flat so money is not good atm and it seems like im the one paying the bills plus trying to save).

He used to tell me everything and now I barely know a thing, he comes home from work and it seems like he'd rather be with his mates always texting them evan though he spends all day at work with them!

Ive started noticing a few little lies come out again.. ie - he told me that every Friday (his payday) him and a friend spend £20 on scratch cards, when his mate came over the other day he slipped up saying £30 - I know this seems silly but is this the start of all the rubbish again?

He tells me during the week we are gonna spend sometime together then when he gets in from work on Saturday its either him having a drink or seeing his friend.

I am currently drained and knackered but have to work as I don't feel I can ask him for anything anymore.. I pay his phone bill and am currently paying of his £2000 debt and yet he borrowed £80 out of our saving account saying he'd pay it back and guess who paid it - me, and also racked up a phone bill of £80 instead of the usual £15 - which I also paid for..

Am I looking into this more or am I right that something is going wrong? I know I am abit moany atm but only because I don't ever seem to get my point across and now im thinking im going mad!!

I think you need to have a serious talk with your partner about honestly and what it means to be in a relationship. If your partner is not ready for this, then it's better that you know now. It seems that he hasn't been good to your from the get go, and although I dont know the full story, don't blame yourself for his immaturity.

Your priorities are gonna change very fast, your kid is going to come first, so just ask yourself if that's the kind of man you want your kid to be around and you will have your answer

Good luck!